Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, et al.

Author's Note: Thanks for your enthusiasm surrounding this story, so glad you've enjoyed it. My sincere apologies in the delay of this last part, my girls have been sick ... total bummer. I'm looking to post the epilogue sometime later in the week. Thanks again for the reviews!

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In My Life – Part 9 – 'I'm not saying I want to hide,'

A little while later, Derek carefully padded his way down the hallway en-route to Meredith's room – the floorboards both cool and slippery against bare feet – his mind swirling around all the times he snuck down this hallway deep into the night or out in the morning before no one could see him. Doc rushed up from behind him with a tiny whine wherein Derek looked down at his old lover's new best friend and a smile crossed over his face. He set his hand on her doorknob and slipped inside the enclave, chuckling as Doc sauntered into the bedroom and settled himself on an over-sized dog pillow just under the windows where he promptly rested his head on his paws and looked at Derek expectantly.

Chuckling, Derek let his eyes adjust to the semi-dark space, the only light coming from the bathroom where the water was also running. His eyes further adjusted and swept the room wherein he couldn't help but smile, for the space felt warm and safe and was relatively unchanged since he'd last been inside. The water stopped running and he looked toward the doorway there waiting for Meredith to emerge.

Smiling at him as she slipped out of the bathroom, she crossed the room and flipped her bedside lamp on, illuminating the private space with the warm glow of golden hues. Derek tilted his head as she turned around to face him wherein he pushed the door closed with his backside and stayed in his same spot, dropping his shoulder bag to the floor. She smiled weakly and wrung her hands together as the silence between them suddenly screamed, although all Derek could focus on was how gorgeous she was.

Meredith sighed and broke their spell. She smiled softly and pushed her hair behind her ears before she crossed the room to her dresser where she opened the top drawer and began to root through it. Derek sensed her apprehension, and unable to accept it, he strode up behind her and set his hands upon the dresser in front of them, a tremulous pulse moving along her spine as he moved flush against her.

"It's all going to be okay," he promised into her warm skin, his lips descending upon the long column of her neck. "It's just us now …nothing stopping us … no secrets, just you and me … I promise," he murmured, his body warmed by hers.

Meredith caught her breath, 'no secrets', she chanted and she believed him. It was just them now and putting her faith in that, she leaned back and into Derek as if no time had passed, feeling her body fit into the groove of his just as perfectly as it from the very beginning … they were still long, lost puzzle pieces to one another.

"Just us," she chanted her old secret wish into the silence, a mantra that had somehow become her reality. "I missed you … us, in this room," she said candidly, her mind moving on to all of those sleepless nights she endured ... night after night, tears pricked her eyes.

"I missed you too …," Derek smiled. "I missed everything about being holed up in here with you," he confessed, breathing her in, calming himself, releasing the last amount of stress from the day.

Meredith felt her blood boil under his touch – his sudden proximity – her skin suddenly pricking with untamed heat as he began to pepper her neck with tiny, barely-there kisses, his breathing stacked and hot against her heated flesh. Without thinking, she turned around in his arms where her dark green eyes met his … so dark and penetrating with all the lust she remembered he had for her. She exhaled and closed the tiny distance between them and kissed him then, her body melting into his as she did. 'Yes', she chanted,there was nothing left for her to do but to take him – to finally kiss him the way she really wanted to – in that irrevocable way that validated her feelings, swallowing his moans of pleasure as she lost herself in him, gracefully surrendering to his power hold upon her.

Derek felt his old lover acquiesce to him then, her body becoming pliant in his arms as he held her close and made love to her mouth – kissing her over and over again – fueling the wild surge of his feral, hormonal desires after his willful bout of abstinence, save for his recurring dreams of her. He felt her chest heave, breathing deeply into their kiss as her hands moved up and under his sweater and shirt, her nimble fingertips caressing his bare skin in all the right places.

Meredith's head was spinning now as she reluctantly pulled away from his sinuous lips; her hands resolutely pinned to his narrow hips in an effort to ground herself. Panting, she stared at him for a beat, her hot breath ricocheting between them wherein all she could hear was her heart and how it pounded so recklessly for him.

Staring at him still, she willed herself to relax in that moment, breathing in and out, she focused on his handsome face and endless blue eyes until all she could see was him: the first and only man she ever fell in love with. And then, just like that, the room was silent and it really was just the two of them again – two people who wanted and revered one another – once again alone in the semi-darkness of their enclave.

Alone at last. A collective dream come true.

She inhaled sharply and caught her breath. "Take a bath with me …," she whispered brazenly, her eyes suddenly heavy with bliss, her cheeks blushing under his intense scrutiny.

Derek felt his whole face soften before he kissed the tip of her nose and smiled at the prospect of bathing with her. "All right," he answered, kissing her cheek as he took her hand in his. "No funny stuff though," he sassed, playfully smirking at her.

Meredith's giggle filled the quiet room. "If that's how you want it," she dished back, her happy eyes bouncing as they met his before she opened the door and he followed her inside.

The bathroom was warm and the air, thick with humidity, the bathtub was filled about halfway up with superfluous bubbles sitting motionless and heavy atop the water's surface. Derek closed the door behind them and Meredith turned the faucet back on before she moved to the sink, her eyes trained on her reflection as she tossed her hair into a bun on top of her head. Derek smiled as he watched her for a beat before he came to stand behind her and smiled at her through the foggy mirror … her eyes sparkling, her face flushed with passion … she was a vision born from his dreams.

Meredith smiled at him and took one last look at their reflections before she turned around to face him – his warm hands on her hipbones, his eyes deeply faceted, calm and familiar and still a little bit sad – yes, it was true, everything she needed to know was still there, housed inside his expressive gateways.

He leaned into her and drew her near then, kissing her on the spot, his lips moving succinctly over hers, much like they typically did – soft and quick, soft and quick … soft, soft – she smiled against his open mouth, kissing him back … mimicking his tempo … his style … his passion as she set her hands upon his face briefly before moving them down to his belt buckle where she stopped and pulled away from his lips. Giggling quite breathlessly, she winked and worked at his belt, pulling at the button fly of his jeans as she stepped even closer. Setting her hands on his waistband briefly before she tugged slightly and pushed the heavy garment down until it fell at his feet. She smirked, sassing him playfully as her fingertips brushed against the slight tent of his boxers before she raised her hands above her head and egged him on.

"It's hot in here," Derek responded, eliciting a giggle from Meredith as his fingertips lazily grazed the soft skin of her abdomen. He kicked his feet free and tugged her sweater over her head before he pulled her toward him, kissing her gently now as his hands roamed her soft, sumptuous skin, her rosy pleasure points taut with arousal beneath the thin lace of her black bra. A guttural moan passed between them, kiss, kiss … kiss. "I can't say it enough," he husked into her mouth then, her tongue teasing his. "I've missed you …," he murmured, his hands moving to her jeans. "Dreamt of you …," he said thickly, his hands palming her toned tush while she wiggled free from her jeans – moving flush against him wherein her chest heaved and their abdomens met, skin on skin – her hands on his hips, her eyes glittering against the fragmented light, her breathing stacked as she stared at him so intensely now that his heart almost gave out.

Meredith had no words, she decided then, standing there with this man she loved so much. She smiled weakly and wrapped her arm around his neck and craned her head back to stare at him still – to revere him and to languish in her trust of him – because although he'd hurt her badly … she never felt as safe in her life, ever before, than when she was alone and uninhibited with him. And she knew now that nothing had changed – she knew and remembered that she had always trusted him as lover – which for her had always been some kind of miracle or a gift.

Sighing heavily, she watched him watch her and instead of spoiling the moment with words and knowing her actions would speak volumes, she began to kiss him languidly, trusting that he understood her and that he would follow her lead. Slow … nice and slow … and soft and quick. And so with her heart and mouth open to him – she kissed her lover once again – moving her hands down to the waistband of his boxers where she swiftly inched them down, her craving for skin on skin multiplying exponentially now as she felt the soft tip of his cock roll between them and brush along her abdomen, her core igniting as it did.

Derek cupped his lover's tush and drew her near as he pressed his open mouth against her rapidly fluttering pulse point on her neck, catching his breath for a beat before he moved his mouth along her shoulder and slowly pushed her bra strap away, his dexterous fingers effortlessly unclasping her from the back. Sighing in tandem with her, he let the lacy undergarment slip through his fingers and fall to their feet as they held one another inside the moment of stillness until his cock twitched between them. Breathing together, the passionate haze of the room belonging solely to them now as they stood at a silent stalemate of sorts. Almost naked and eye to eye – their abdomens touching – his semi-flaccid rod responding to their energy, her pert nipples cutting across his chest as she leaned in and lazily kissed him with her open mouth, her hand gently cupping his sack where she held his virile manhood in the palm of her delicate hand.

His heart skipped a beat inside the dream of the moment, his lithe fingertips dancing along her angular ribs as he disengaged their kiss and moved his mouth along her shoulder again, this time tickling her briefly before he brushed his thumbs across her rosy buds, so hard and aroused, his mouth watered in anticipation of tasting her. Ducking his head now, he slowly moved his lips down to the swell of her breasts where he cupped them gingerly and volleyed his attention between her pleasure points … her erogenous flesh so soft, yet so provoked with her want for him, it nearly drove him over the edge. Pausing to savor the moment, he inhaled a deep breath of her female essence before he began to kiss her there over and over again – her stimulated flesh rolling against his tongue as his lover held him there, right where she wanted him – one hand along his responsive shaft, the other nestled in his hair … her stacked mewls of desire echoing for his ears only.

Grounding himself with one hand on her hip now, he reluctantly released his oral hold upon her delicate, puckered skin and dropped to his knees, the apex of her thighs at eye level. Holding both of her hips, he looked up and found her eyes – her gateways shining with some kind of secret as she looked down to him – nodding in assent, she set her hand over his, her fingertips grazing the delicate trim of her panties. And then she blinked, revealing her secret as she did – telling him now without words that she was okay – that this, the torrent of what was happening between them, was all right. Smiling down at him, she leaned over and pressed the faucet off, the water almost breaching the edge of the tub as the room became quiet and Derek turned his attention back to her womanhood.

Meredith breathed, exhaling as Derek's hot breath breezed along her panty line, his thumbs hooked under the delicate fabric where he tugged gently. She closed her eyes and let herself go in that moment, just enough to set herself free – because she trusted him – standing naked in her bathroom, alone at last where he pressed his nose into her dampening apex and inhaled sharply – she let him in, dismantling her barriers to entry – for without an ounce of hesitation now, she wanted his mouth on her.

Her stomach quivered as his lips descended upon her skin – tiny, wet kisses, flutters of sustained energy – he kissed her abdomen, then each hipbone, all the while, he pushed her saturated panties down, down, down to her feet until she was free. With her eyes still closed, her heart pounded and her body began to react to the dynamic surge of her radical, underutilized hormones. Her responsive gasp filled the quiet solitude of their space, 'Derek', she muttered thickly as she melted into him, his gentle open mouth pressed onto her pelvis – his warm hands on her tush again as he drew her near and held her there – her folds now glistening, pulsing within an unkempt swell of fervent bliss. 'Derek', she heard her warbled call from the edge of oblivion, completely unhinged now … so lost within all he did to her from one erotic kiss.

Derek inhaled a generous helping of her sexual essence and pressed it down and into his lungs; he inhaled again and gently massaged her slick folds, his own senses arrested by the sweet scent of all that he did to her. His head swam, his mind wild as he pressed one open-mouthed kiss to her tiny, hooded clit … soft and quick, he kissed her there again. And then again. Her core shuddered, but he held her still – deep inside the moment of pure intimacy, his mouth still open, skin on skin – he hummed into her flesh, letting the vibration spiral into her core, holding her there … still and quiet … still and quiet until he felt her release.

Inhaling one last time, he pulled his mouth away from her wherein he cupped his hand over her heated mound and stood up before her. Breathing in tandem with her, he watched her, with chest heaving and her eyes closed in sated bliss before his lips descended upon hers again and he began to kiss her senseless, her abundant arousal coating his fingers as they gently flanked her folds without penetrating her opening – tenderly massaging her now burgeoning clit with the pad of his thumb – soft, wet, warm … and sexy as hell.

Her kisses became more intense and hungry as her body shuddered again inside his embrace wherein she moved her arms around his neck and relaxed against him while he watched the erogenous tremor move through her and by God, he never thought he'd seen her look so open and beautiful and trusting of him. And so with bated breath, he waited for the flow of her tiny orgasm to ebb … kissing her flushed cheeks and then each of her fluttering eyelids, before she opened her gorgeous eyes and found him there, right where she left him.

Meredith exhaled and stared at him and then without single word, Derek held her shaking hand and helped her into the tub – tufts of swirling steam rising through the bubbles as he sat down – sinking into the hot water where she surprised him and situated herself between his legs, her head falling back and onto his chest as they sighed in together and finally relaxed.

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Later, Derek slowly padded across Meredith's room, a pair of pajama bottoms slung low on his waist, an old t-shirt sticking to his warm skin as he pushed one hand through his damp locks and looked on at Doc, listening to Dr. Bailey on the line, his PDA to his ear, his lover in the bathroom brushing her teeth. Sighing at the domesticity of it all, he smiled as the faucet went quiet and Meredith emerged from the bathroom – her cheeks still rosy from the warmth of their bath – her eyes trained on him as she slipped into bed wearing nothing but a pair of cotton panties and a tank top. He sighed with contentment and leaned against the dresser where he regarded her, watching her apply skin cream to her neck and arms, her eyes sparkling against the soft light of her bedside lamp as she watched him in return.

"I'll stop in tomorrow … of course, I don't mind," he chuckled, pausing to listen. "I don't think you'll encounter anything emergent tonight … he's in the clear," he said confidently and then he smiled. "She's fine … perfect, actually … I'm ... ah … with her now …," he offered, smirking at Meredith's wide eyes as she looked at him quizzically. "Yes … we are …," he chuckled. "I'll tell her," he replied softly, "See you tomorrow … and … congratulations," he smiled as he ended the call.

"So …," Meredith prompted softly, tilting her head. "Who was that?" she wondered, her cheeks pink though she couldn't help but smile radiantly.

"Bailey," he reported, pushing himself off the dresser as he watched her closely. "She asked for you … she's proud of you, she said to make sure to tell you that," he said softly, his eyes smiling as he approached the bed and sat down next to her.

"Oh …," she whispered, pursing her lips together, her thoughts instantly swirling around the implications of their relationship … and the potential fallout. "How's her husband?" she prompted instead, her hand resting on his forearm.

"He's awake …," he announced with a proud grin. "He's seen his son, Meredith …," he breathed, leaning into her heat as his voice cracked with unexpected emotion, his eyes pricking with tears.

"Amazing," was all Meredith could say, her throat constricting as she watched her lover falter slightly, her mind landing on Dr. Bailey …a new mother. "You amaze me …," she whispered as she leaned in and pulled him closer, kissing his minty lips … pulse … pulse … trust … trust, she pulled back to find his eyes.

"That goes both ways, you know," Derek sighed, taking her hand in his where he raised her hand and kissed her palm.

"I do know that," she smiled, leaning back and against her pillows. "Come to bed," she whispered, turning back the covers for him.

And so he did. Standing, he walked around the bed and slipped into the linens with her. Meredith turned her bedside lamp off and the room went dark for a brief moment while the pair rolled into one another – her body flush against his, her head on his chest, her free hand slipping under his shirt, resting on his abdomen, his arms around her – the room quiet and serene save now for the collective beat of their hearts. Shifting closer, Derek instinctively pressed his nose into Meredith's golden tresses and breathed, her familiar floral essence filling his lungs now as if no time had passed. He sighed and ran his fingertips under her tank top and then along her spine, and in no time, felt the weight of her body become one with his.

Closing his eyes, he wondered if it could ever get better than this – together at last, no secrets, no obstacles – and then in that same breath, he thought for sure it would, for surely they were on the precipice of something extraordinary.

He sighed with relief and felt Meredith shift and lean up on her elbow before she ducked down and set her lips upon his neck over his pulse, her mouth making its way to his. He opened his eyes then and found her, where even in the dark, he could tell she was blushing. She draped her knee over his thighs and set her hand on his chest, resting it over his heart. He tilted his head up and admired her.

"So … she knows about us … Dr. Bailey …," Meredith wondered, for it was true enough that she'd been up front with her friends about the state of her relationship with Derek … but not so much with Dr. Bailey who'd made it clear she didn't want to know the sordid details of their personal lives.

"Yes …," he said softly with a smile. "We don't need to hide anymore," he deemed thoughtfully, setting his hand on her flushed cheek. "I don't want secrets this time, I can't, it's too important…," he whispered.

Meredith smiled weakly. "Hmm … how did she take it?" she wondered timidly, thinking now about the conversation she tried to have with Dr. Bailey on the topic once before. "Remember … the leveling of the playing field, your patient Mr. Levangie … she was so pissed," she sighed pointedly.

"Well, she'll have to get over it," he smirked slightly, eliciting a giggle from Meredith. His face softened. "We don't have anything to hide … I need you to feel confident in that … I've been candid with Richard, there's no reason to keep this from Dr. Bailey or from anyone else," he encouraged, scanning her eyes for uncertainty.

"Hey …," she whispered, leaning closer. "I'm not saying I want to hide," she sighed with a tiny smile. "I just … wanted our thing to be ours … first, without all the politics … and complications …," she smiled weakly.

"Come here," Derek breathed, drawing her near, settling her back into the cradle hold of his embrace. "It's all going to work out," he encouraged, thinking if they could survive a day like today, they certainly could survive the wrath of Dr. Miranda Bailey. "Anyway, everything's relative – she's on maternity leave and her husband is in recovery – truthfully, the last thing she's probably worried about it us," he offered realistically.

"I suppose," Meredith whispered, smiling at his logic, sighing as she let herself relax again, burrowing deeper into his innate heat where she stayed.

A comfortable silence overcame the room then – the last of the tension ebbing from their nerves as they let themselves go – ensconced in bliss as the world at large fading away while they finally wrapped themselves up in that chrysalis they had so masterfully created when they were shut-ins early on (and dreamt about thereafter) … and just like that, deep inside the solace of Meredith's bedroom, they became 'them' again.

Meredith sighed into the quiet and situated herself in front of Derek, his arms instinctively moving around hers, his nose pressed into the crease of her neck where she felt him ground himself and breathe her in … in, out, in, out, hot tufts of his air warmed her from the outside, in. She pushed herself into the spoon of his body where he hummed in pleasure and pressed his supple lips on her shoulder, his mouth open and tasting her flesh … and it was there, inside this perfect, silent moment, that she finally closed her eyes and submitted to the reality of their proximity.

Safe … she once again felt safe and sound in the confines of her room where no one could find them, and it was a dream come true. For the dread of yet another, endless, sleepless night was gone – for no longer would the ghost of what once was haunt her so – because he was back … and she had believe that this time, he was emotionally and physically, hers.

She sighed into the quiet. "I'm glad we're off tomorrow …," she announced, drawing his healing hands up to her mouth where she kissed them.

"Me too," Derek answered softly. "Outside of checking on Tucker Jones, I have nothing planned …," he whispered. "Except for maybe more of this …," he intimated, his fingertips dancing along the contours of her curves.

"Well good," she giggled. "Because I don't want to do anything, but be in this room with you … alone …," she whispered, turning inside his embrace, her lips meeting his as she began to kiss him senseless, her knee draped over his hips, finding it almost impossible now to keep her need and want of him at bay.

Derek hummed into their kiss as Meredith rolled on top of him, his hands flanking her face and her, his. "Alone with you … in here, sounds perfect," he smiled up at her.

Meredith sighed. "I just … want you, Derek – so badly – just like it was at the beginning before all the rest of it happened … but with your conscience clear …," she expressed her secret wish out loud, pinning her knees to his torso as she held him there.

"Me too … ," he husked, staring into the reflection of her moonlit gateways. "Just us … nothing between us now … with my conscience clear … so clear that you're all I see …," he sighed, feeling the lithe weight of her body over his and their perfect anatomical fit.

They sighed breathlessly together then, breathing in tandem, his hands fingertips moving to her spine again as she leaned down and into his heat and kissed him – soft and quick … soft and quick – until she rolled to his side and set her ear over his trumpeting heart and listened … closing her heavy eyes, drifting off to that whimsical place of dreams … until she heard the soft timbre of his voice. She opened her eyes.

"You know … all day … I tried to pin my hopes to some happy memory of ours …," he began softly, his fingertips running idly over her spine, up and down. He sighed. "So … I thought if I could remember our last happy kiss – when we were together and happy – I wanted to remember that …," he mused with a tiny smile … his heart raced. "But … I couldn't …," he finally admitted, his eyes watching the shallow shadows as they danced along the walls of her bedroom.

Meredith didn't miss the tremor of his voice. Sighing, she craned her neck back to find him, kissing the underside of his chin before she smiled, her mind instantly pinpointing on a distant, far off place … a whimsical moment in time – this precious memory she'd held onto for many nights since their separation – this place in time when they were truly happy … and perfect. She smiled radiantly and began to share the memory.

"It was a Thursday morning …," she smiled in recollection, her eyes pinned to his, moonlight cascading over them. "I was ah … wearing that ratty little Dartmouth t-shirt you like so much …," she intimated, her soft giggle echoing into the quiet.

"The one with the hole in the back of the neck," he recalled wistfully with a smile that matched hers.

"Hmm, mmm," she hummed and then her smile brightened. "I'd gotten out of the shower – you were running late for surgery – you said you were gonna see me later …," she whispered, his eyes transfixed now. "And you kissed me … soft …," she breathed. "It was quick – kinda like a habit – you know … like we'd do it every day for the rest of our lives …," she husked, her eyes moving over his until she sighed heavily. "I went back to reading the newspaper and you went to work. That was the last time we kissed …," she smiled, her memory of that moment … so solid … so special – it was made of magic – this perfect moment in time before everything fell apart around them.

Derek smiled up at his woman, a renewed sense of thankfulness cloaking him now as he could only see her … and this memory that had etched itself so deeply inside her mind's eye that he couldn't help but see it too. He drew her near, cupping his hand over her pink cheek.

"You smelled like some kind of flower …," he whispered, tilting his head.

"Lavender," she answered softly. "My hair smelled like lavender from my conditioner," she intimated with a small smile she saved just for him.

"Lavender … hmm," he hummed, brushing his nose against hers as he breathed her in and found it: the lavender. He smiled. "Thank you … for making that memory for me …," he sighed into their heat.

Meredith leaned in, closing the tiny gap between them, her lips barely touching his. "Kiss me now … just like that …," she exhaled thickly, her heart fluttering.

"Soft and quick … and forever … for … the rest of our lives, Meredith …," he sighed, her minty hot breath fanning his face.

"Yes … forever …Derek …," she replied without hesitation.

'Forever', she chanted again and again now as their mouths made uninhibited love … while the pain and loneliness housed inside this room, this once-private den of secrets … vanished once and for all and became the foundation upon which they stood, for now and for all time. Her mind tenaciously circulating around those solemn promises of 'forever' … 'forever' … she chanted in time with the rhythm of their kisses as the ghosts of their past finally disappeared … where they seized the moment and their second chance and made it theirs.

In My Life – Epilogue to follow.