Ciel looked at me, eyes wide. "How can you find out? You just said-"

"My Lord," I interrupted, mildly peeved that I hadn't called him out on his lie the day before. I smiled at him then, making sure I didn't move another inch just in case I lost what little composure I was holding on to. "If I couldn't do this for my Master, what kind of butler would I be?"

I would find what had stolen his eye from me; I would find this thing and make it pay. Watch it writhe in my grasp if I must. I could already smell the musty scent of spilled blood, it's agonizing moans, my desire to rip it apart. Ah, how long it has been since I murdered something, since I killed just for sport and reveled as it died.

Ciel scoffed, redirecting my thoughts. Ah.

"That's not funny, Sebastian," he sighed, burying his face in his knees once more. I could tell I had exhausted him; it would probably be best if he slept for now.

I smiled, regardless of if he would see it. "I apologize." Ciel did not move, did not speak. He didn't acknowledge me, so I took his well-being into my own hands, as the child seemed unable to realize he would need rest for the events he would have to face later today. "Young Master," I finally cooed, trying to settle the shaking of his shoulders. "You should get some rest now; you will need your strength." I held back a biting insult for what little strength he had to begin with and smiled as apologetically as I could.

"Yes," he finally murmured, uncurling himself slowly. I waited as he laid himself back into the pillows, and I pulled his layers of blankets up to his shoulders. "Sebastian."

"Yes, my Lord?"

"I'm leaving this to you. Do not mess this up."

"Of course, my Lord. Your health is of my utmost concern as your butler." I smiled, but Ciel looked at me with a look of disbelief. In honest, that look, the turmoil in his eye, it made me concerned. Ciel's trust in me was wavering. I could not let that happen; it was happening much too quickly. I had too much to risk for this soul, too much to risk that I would gladly accept if that made Ciel's soul a guarantee. Alas, this was not the case. I turned to leave, but once again I heard the sheets ruffle.

"Don't go," he sighed.

I turned back to him and bowed. "Of course, my Lord."

Thankfully, Ciel drifted off to sleep soon after, and I had time to remove my service cart and start gathering the preparations for our visit to the cemetery today. I hoped the young Master would be able to handle it. I could still remember how he trembled at Madam Red's funeral. How he grasped his cane with a white-knuckled grip. The underlying fear in his voice, even as he berated humankind. Ah, my dear young Master had a lot to be dealt with now.

And so did I. Ordering the flowers was first on my list, as the florist had finally opened, and I was going to have to pay extra to get a suitable bouquet completed in such a short amount of time. I, of course, could not make one in this weather, so calling one of the finest florists in London was the next best option. It was a long phone call - as the fellow who answered had quite a bad stutter, and seemed unable to understand my desire to have the arrangement ready to be picked up by this afternoon, instead of the next morning - however by the time I placed the receiver back in its cradle I had ordered quite a large bouquet of lilacs, asters, baby's breath and rain flowers, all in a glorious white hue. I even offered to pay double the amount to make it perfectly clear that I expected perfect flowers when I arrived to pick them up. I knew Ciel would not know the significance of the flowers I bought for him, but the rest of society did. That was good enough. Someone had to salvage his reputation, considering my young Master was currently incapable of even staying awake.

And then of course I had to have the carriage brought around, and it wasn't long before the servants voiced their desires to accompany us on our journey. I contemplated making a suitable lunch for the young Master, but I already knew he wasn't going to eat before we headed to London, and I doubted greatly that he would be willing once we returned. I decided it would be best to bring something regardless, as we would be staying overnight in London as well - for the sake of my Master's aversion to lengthy carriage rides - and hoped the servants would be on their best behavior. I would have preferred not to leave the manor unattended, but I knew the respect most lower-class held for the dead, and their fear of ghosts haunting them for not paying proper respects - as if the souls of the dead would bother - so I had no choice but to let them come along.

However, there were still chores that had to be finished before we left, and I instructed the four of them to finish up as quickly as they could so that we could adhere to the schedule. Even though I had long since disposed of the actual schedule (it is an easy task to prioritize the runnings of the manor mentally), Tanaka was the only one who had seemed to notice, and I aimed to keep it that way.

Thankfully, my trust in them to find proper attire for the visit was well rewarded, as all four servants dressed quickly. We had purchased a few different mourning outfits for everyone, in my own attempt to keep up with the potential deaths and inevitable funerals we could possibly attend. In all honesty, I didn't understand the requirement, however, black was very appealing on humans and I had no logical complaint. The estate wasn't short of money. Or "family" friends and acquaintances. Society would dictate it mandatory. So be it.

Regardless, two hours had passed and it was almost noon, so I had to wake up the little Lord and convince him that going to London was necessary. But as I called to him, he ignored me in his slumber. I took the opportunity to pick out his suitable black attire and stood again by the side of the bed. "Young Master," I cooed, tempted to grab his feeble little shoulder. "It really is time to wake up. We need to get going."

Little Ciel muttered, but did not stir. In fact, he pulled his covers over his head. I sighed to myself and walked around the bed. We did not have time for this. The ride to London was a tediously long one; we wouldn't make it to the cemetery in a reasonable time if he did not wake soon. I opened the curtains for the second time today, taking note of the rising sun, and the heat radiating from the dark velvet curtains. I heard the young Earl mumble and rustle the bed linens; I watched as he rolled over and then sat up. He rubbed his eyes, sighed and looked right at me. "I don't want to go." He said stubbornly, firm.

I raised my eyebrow. "Don't want to go?"

"No." He folded his arms, seeming to try and instill an air of regality. Was he trying to defy me? "Let me rephrase. I am not going."

Ah, so he was going to try and fight me on it. This temper of his, I was growing weary of it. Especially when it was directed at me. I took a step closer to the bed. I noticed Ciel's wary gaze, and I smiled as to set him at ease. But I was far from jovial to have to deal with his increasing stubbornness. "Young Master," I leaned over to him. "This is not under discussion." I continued to smile, but Ciel shot me a burning glare. It seemed he had regained the minor motor functions from his right eye, as it swiveled in its socket to observe me as well. In fact, it was rather eerie.

"I don't care," was his quick reply. "I'm not going. I don't want to."

"Now, young Master," I cooed, standing up again and walking around the bed, taking the clothes I had laid out for the boy in my arms as I passed. "I think we had this discussion before. This is a necessary trip." I stopped in front of him. Oh, how I longed to grab that pale neck that was exposed to me. How I longed to sink my teeth into the soft flesh, hear the strangled cries coming from that lovely mouth. Inwardly, I sighed. This was surely not the time.

Suddenly, a guttural noise emitted from the little Earl, catching my immediate attention. Ciel turned away as quickly as it had come - a growl, I realized - and proceeded to pile all the covers over himself, including the pillows. I blinked. How childish. Was I going to have to dig him from the bed? But the thought of touching him set me on edge. That milky skin beneath my fingers, the warmth of the blood pulsing through his many veins, the arteries. The bruises I could inflict, the rushes of blood, the shattered bones and the undeniable hunger that erupted inside me. He smelled so good. So damn good. It wasn't hard to imagine his small body beneath mine, pulsating with fear, seeping that tantalizing scent. The look of horror on his face, the freedom of shedding this human skin. Ah, the terror he would be sure to feel if he were to witness it. If I had been more self aware, I would have suppressed my chuckle. But it was too late, and I immediately caught the scent of anger from my young Lord. He thought I was laughing at him. Well, I probably would have if I had noticed him. I suddenly felt very, very hot and irritated. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples with a free hand. Ciel spoke up, muffled from all the linens. "I'm not going."

I didn't have the patience for this. "Young Master," I said, starting by placing the clothes in my arms on the bedside table and beginning to toss the pillows to the floor. "We do not have time for this."

"I don't care!"

"Sir, we have to go." I spoke loud, firm. But I was distracted. Playing tug of war with the bed sheets was setting off alarm bells inside me. Instincts were flaring. I was tempted to tear the bed apart to find my prey. Then I stifled the thought, as it was irritating, and I was irritated enough.

"No! You can't make me!"

Oh, that was enough. I already knew I couldn't fathom what was going through the mind of my dear Master, but it didn't matter anymore. He was being beyond unreasonable. I took a large grasp on the top layer of the duvet, and in one swift movement removed it from the bed. It wasn't hard to find Ciel's outline in the remaining covers. I ignored his outbursts, the little hands that were fighting against mine, the body that continued to struggle. I grabbed Ciel by the arm and pulled him from the bed, hearing his insults and cursing but ignoring them entirely. In fact, when he seemed to calm down, I smiled at him and said, "my my young Master, what a tantrum you're throwing."

"Shut up!" Ciel's voice was growing rasp. A deep scowl was planted on his face, and I knew he wasn't going to make getting him dressed easy. He sat stiff at the edge of the bed, glaring more intensely than I had ever seen him. I could smell it, all the anger and fear and regret. Should I pity him now? I was still bristling at him, irked that he could act in such a manor. I hadn't thought my young Master capable of regressing so far yet again. But I was proven wrong once more, because as I reached over to start unbuttoning his nightshirt, he leaned away from me. He grunted and wouldn't let me touch him. So I sighed. I had had enough of his games.

"Do you think you can impede this visit, young Master?" I made another reach for him but he lurched away yet again. "Because you are wrong." I didn't reach for him again. I looked at him tersely, but did not move. I watched the ire in his blue eye, how neither it or the other could look me in the face. Ciel avoided my gaze at all cost, starting to swing his foot into the baseboard of his bed.

Thunk.

Thunk.

Thunk.

I sighed. "Young Master."

Ciel did not turn. He laid back onto the bed, continuing to kick it. "I can't." He was speaking softly, but I felt another tantrum within him. Thunk.

"You don't have a choice." Ciel's expression only darkened. He was barely listening. Thunk. "In fact," I continued, leaving out any amusement in my voice. "You've never had a choice." Still no response. "You haven't been making any choices since Lady Elizabeth went missing." Thunk. "You haven't done anything at all, except lay in this bed and be extremely taxing on my nerves." Thunk. "Months. It's been months. It's time to stop acting so selfishly." But he wasn't listening. Ciel had turned away from me.

"It doesn't matter anymore." Guilt. That guilt I had thought he had finally left behind. The boy had been saying it many times during his mourning, but now…now I didn't understand it. In fact, in some irrational part of me, it made me very, very angry. I was not going to put up with more months of a clingy, blubbering contractee. I have to admit that it was endearing at first, but Ciel would fall fast and hard and it was painful to watch. I didn't want him to fall apart again. I was not the one who could put him back together, but if I could just keep him together long enough to complete the contract…. It was all I could ask for. It was all I really wanted. All I craved for. Thunk.

I frowned. "That's absurd."

"No it's not!"

Thunk.

"It is. You're running away again."

"I am not." I could hear his pout.

"You are. Just like before. You can't run away like a coward."

"I'm not a coward!"

"Then why are you hiding in your bed?" I smirked. He had trapped himself already.

Thunk.

Ciel didn't seem ready to respond. Or able. I wasn't sure. "You're afraid." His shoulders stiffened, but he didn't object. "You're running away from your emotions with more, childish emotions," I mused. "You're so afraid of facing your failures that you run and hide from them. My Lord, what good does that do you? You know, don't you?" Ciel was still silent. Thunk. I answered for him. "None. It does you no good." Yet I couldn't spur him. His silence was grinding against my nerves. I lowered my voice. I would threaten him if I had to. "You're being outrageously unreasonable," I said, taking a step closer to the bed, making sure I avoided his flying foot. Thunk. "You're acting like a frightened child, not the head of the Phantomhive family, and it's very unappealing."

Thunk.

That noise. I was sick of it. I grabbed his thigh, my hand wrapping around the muscle in a tight enough grip for Ciel to jump. But I wasn't going to let him go. I would bruise him if I had to. His thigh quivered in my grasp as I leaned over the boy, impeding his incessant kicking and grabbing his jaw with my other hand. He would look at me. "Young Master," I said low, threatening. "There is something you need to understand." I turned his face towards me, catching the full scent of shock and edging fear from him. But he looked at me like I wanted, regardless of if his eyes were wide and almost watering. He looked about to cry. Still, I wasn't going to release him yet.

"You are a coward if you let yourself be taken with your emotions like this, and you are a selfish coward if you keep trying to run away from your duties. I have had to put up with you for years now, and I understand that you do not want to face the fact that you have failed Lady Elizabeth, but you cannot let that stop you. You owe Lady Elizabeth more than just wallowing in your own self pity. You are letting your emotions control you, and if you let them stop you," I paused, gripping his thigh tighter as the expression on his face changed. He was getting angry. There were still tears in his eyes, but he had narrowed them since I held him in a way so that he could not speak. "If you let these frivolous emotions stop you," I continued, leaning closer. "Then you have no use for me, nor I you. If this is how you want to be, just a helpless boy, no better at taking care of himself than a mere babe, unable to make the simplest of decisions, unable to sleep without being coddled and flattered, then there is no use for a contract between us." For a moment, I felt that this was a very bad idea. But it was too late. I backed away, lessening my grip on him. "I am not your nanny, young Master. And thus I cannot stay in a contract forever to do so." I scowled. "You called to me, and I answered, as I will continue to do unless you continue to act like a inept newborn." And I released him, took a step back, waited. Thunk. "What will you do, my Lord?"

Ciel sat up. He was bristling, but I also noticed him stealing himself. His hand wandered to his thigh. I wondered if I had hurt him. But he looked at me, sternly and said "I want to get dressed."

I smiled then, I bowed, I started to unbutton his shirt. "That is a good choice, my Lord." Yet he didn't speak. He didn't look at me again, only chewed at his bottom lip - with the lightest touch - and avoided me. I could see he was holding back tears, the faint shaking of his body a tell-tale sign. I hadn't meant to make him cry, but maybe it was something he needed to do. I didn't want him angry with me, though I knew if Ciel really had a problem with what I said, he would have said it already. Still, I aimed to comfort him. "It's alright," I said as I began removing his shirt. "If you want to cry."

"I'm not going to cry," he said in a half-whimper. I pretended to ignore the tears that started to run down his cheeks.

"Of course not, my Lord." He didn't wipe them away, not even as I adjusted his new shirt and started to button it up. I was sliding on his pants, noticing a dark ring beginning to form under the skin where I had grabbed him, when he finally decided to wipe his face. He put both hands up and rubbed, covering his face with the palms of his hands.

"I'm not a coward."

I smiled. "Of course not," I agreed, making sure to avoid his more sensitive areas as I adjusted his pants.

"And I'm not running away."

"Not at the moment," I grinned mischievously. Though, he didn't see it. That was fine, I knew he had heard it. I helped him put on his shoes and vest, then stood. Ciel looked up at me, all traces of his tears gone. He looked almost confident, but very haggard for a child.

"No, never. I'm done running." He balled his fists, a feeling of resolve seeping between us. "I have to face this, as the head and last heir to the Phantomhive name, this is my duty." He nodded to himself, but I could sense he was unsure. I helped him put on his coat and eyepatch, smiling, and followed him out of the bedroom.

Like I had expected, we were the last to make our way to the carriage, Ciel unbothered as usual. No one asked why, the rather dejected look on my young Master's face surely the answer. And the carriage ride was silent. Completely. Everyone was uneasy except for myself, which made for a even more tedious ride to London than I was ready to admit. I was very pleased when we rode past the outskirts, passing the townhouse and making a quick stop to the florist. The flowers I had ordered were ready as promised, and I paid the man as I said I would, who happenstance stuttered even more so in person than on the telephone. Regardless, the cemetery was the next stop. Ciel did not comment on the flowers. Still, he had not spoken at all. And I had expected another show when it was time to get out of the carriage, but he was silent, solemn almost, and made his way independently to the grave. Somehow, maybe a child's intuition, he knew exactly where it was. I followed slowly. What, exactly, would my young Master do?

A/N: For the love of all things holy, I need to thank Aservis Roturier IMMENSELY for helping me through this chapter. There are not enough amounts of thanks I can give for the help you gave me! Also, everyone, sorry for the wait. I'm awful I know, but please don't stone me, because this story is not finished yet!