Title: Sibling Small Talk
Media: Fic
Rating: G
Pairing: preslashKurt/Blaine, Jeff+Kurt friendship
Summary: Kurt isn't used to having a sibling. Jeff knows all too well.

AN: Wrote this because someone once asked Riker about an R5/Glee crossover in a R5 livestream. Pre 2x18.

"-and Finn doesn't even close the door, he just comes in and runs up the stairs, still in his sneakers! They're filthy and track all sorts of debris in, which I have to clean up. Do I look like a housemaid, Jeff? Should Ibe cleaning up after misbegotten slobs for a living?"

Jeff just smiles and shakes his head no, even though he has seen Kurt in two separate instances dress up looking like a butler and in something highly lacey and French. And Kurt does manage to keep his dorm room so fastidiously neat that he impressed Wes, Dalton's long reigning King of Clean and OCD (And Wielder of the Gavel of Order, as Nick liked to interject). In which they had an hour long discussion on the best type of household disinfectant.

(It had been one of the more droll Warbler meetings, if only to watch two teenage boys debate on the merits of piney freshness versus clean linen scents.)

The two of them are now sitting on a bench outside the Warbler practice room, waiting for their respective partners in crime (Blaine and Nick) to finish pitching a last minute song arrangement to the Head Council. It's a Friday afternoon and it's the best time to propose some of the more modern (ie: racier) songs because the seniors are tired and distracted by their girlfriends' texts.

"I know what you mean," said Jeff, who slouched back and loosened his tie, "but my brothers are pretty neat, for a bunch of boys. My sister though, aw man. She leaves her makeup and crap everywhere. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten detention because of her. Most of the time I'm late because I have to turn the car around change my uniform, because I'll accidentally sit on some open tube of lipstick, or set my tie down onto a table, only to come back and find it covered in body glitter."

Kurt makes a sympathetic noise, and opens his mouth to continue his tirade on stepbrother drama, but Jeff has hardly begun.

"And the worst part of it, I think, is that when I drop Joelle, that's my sister, off at Crawford Day, they don't even bat an eyelash when she walks in 20 minutes late. But I still have to drop off my younger brothers, Jack and Julian, at Cornerstone Academy, turn around and gun it to Dalton. Of course, wewind up getting detention."

Kurt looks surprised, the annoyance easing off his face as Jeff goes on with his story.

"How many siblings do you have?" he interjects, curiously.

Jeff grins and pulls out his iPhone, the background a picture of six figures goofing around and smiling at the camera. He starts to point them out, naming them with fondness in his voice.

"Well, I'm the oldest of five, with Joelle being second oldest, she's now a sophomore over at Crawford Day and she's in their glee club-maybe if we reach Nationals, we'll compete? That'll be weird. And that's Jaden-he's that freshman who normally eats lunch with me and Nick. He's a little quiet, but when he's home he likes to rock out to Fall Out Boy- and then there's Jack and Julian."

Jeff nudges into Kurt's shoulder with an easy grin.

"I'm pretty sure Jack's gonna give Blaine a run for his money for the soloist position next year, he's that good."

The screen goes dark and Jeff presses the home button to bring the picture up again.

"And Julian, the youngest, he's only in seventh grade but he totally runs the house. My parents put him in charge of handing out allowance and coordinating the weekly chores."

Jeff rolls his eyes, and continues to the last person, but Kurt recognizes the boy easily enough.

"Is that Ellington Jager? That kid in our English class?"

"Yup!" chirped Jeff, "Jager's not blood related, but he's over our house enough that he's practically family anyway. I'm pretty sure he's on the family chore list and everything."

"Wow," said Kurt, impressed by the size of Jeff's family.

"Yeah, it can be kind of overwhelming sometimes, especially if I've got a test to study for, and one brother's jamming out on his guitar, another two are in the middle of a Halo match, and Joelle decides that it's the perfect night to bring some friends over and do mani-pedis in the kitchen. Is it kind of sad that I normally wind up taking my books and studying out in the garage?"

"Wow," Kurt repeats, sympathy seeping into his voice, "And I thought I had it bad with Finn's weekly man dates with Puck and Mike and their stupid videogames. At least Puck has some sort of probation-mandated curfew, and Mike's mom tends to pick him up before dark. But you have to live with all that noise, all the time."

Kurt hesitantly pats his arm, saying, "I'm pretty sure I'd go crazy with all that noise."

Jeff shrugs, used to the noise and the busyness of his family.

"Well, most of the time it's really great. You always have someone to hang out with, for starters. And whenever we're all together, we can go straight to practice. It's a lot easier to just walk down the hall from our recording room to someone bedroom and tell them we're having a band meeting."

Kurt raises an eyebrow and Jeff continues, "Well, we're in a band called J5."

"Really," drawled Kurt, teasing, "how very Partridge family of you."

Jeff just laughs, because it's basically true. "You should come over and listen to us sometime-"

Then, the door to the practice room opens, a despondent looking Blaine and sympathetic Nick exiting. Kurt stands immediately and is engulfed in a large bear hug from Blaine.

"I take it the Council didn't go with your suggestion of 50 Cent's "Candy Shop" as the opening number for our gig at Hyclass Confections? The nerve of them."

Kurt sounded more relieved than annoyed that the song got rejected, but his eyes were looking at Blaine with a mixture of fondness and exasperation, cheeks a little pink. Jeff beams, thinking, They're so precious, before turning to look at Nick. He grinned back at Jeff, starting to unbutton his blazer and tug off his tie.

"C'mon you guys, stop your cuddling and let's get out of here. I'll buy you all the biscotti you can eat if you stop trying to bury yourself into Kurt's chest and start walking-," Nick says, tugging at Blaine's arm. Blaine reluctantly lets go, smiling sheepishly at Kurt before breaking away to run after an already sprinting Nick.

Kurt blushes a little more, tinging his ears pink, and Jeff wraps an arm over his shoulders affably.

"To the Lima Bean?" he asks Kurt, as they trail behind a mock fighting Nick and Blaine, pushing and shoving each other down the empty corridor.

"Do you even have to ask?" Kurt replies smoothly, his face slowly returning to its normal hue, and they follow their friends out into the crisp air of the parking lot, smiling all the while.