Hello again people x3 ACTUAL FLUFF THIS TIME 8D I'm so proud and its tendershipping too

And before anyone says that Bakura is OOC, this is him after Zorc is destroyed, when he still isn't quite sure who he is anymore

Disclaimer: If i owned this, it wouldn't be rated G

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love." – Rose Walker, Neil Gaiman's The Sandman

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He almost wished he was a hero sometimes.

Not that he really wanted to be put in the same class as the Pharaoh and his Ra-damned cheerleaders... but just so he could feel he was worth something.

Like he deserved to be... loved.

These thoughts often came in the early hours of the morning, in that quiet time when he was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open but he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep because the bed seemed too damn big and damned cold for him. And as he watched the ceiling be stained by the dawn, he half wondered why he was even here. He had failed; he should be dead, even if his actions weren't entirely his own. Sometimes, a face came to mind; a sweet caring face, but he immediately dismissed the thought.

He knew he didn't deserve it.

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Now that the world isn't ending...

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Three months, one week, four days, eighteen hours and thirty-four minutes.

That's how long it had been since he had been reborn.

And that's how long he had been alone.

... Not that he had been counting. Not at all.

But he knew, as long as he Bakura, he wouldn't be able to shake the reputation that Zorc and his possession had earned him. And he hated every second of this loneliness, because it reminded him of his forced confinement in the Ring, where he did nothing but feast on force-fed hatred and darkness until he was broken and sick of the bitter taste. And that door... that door mocking him with promises of freedom that weren't fulfilled for millenia.

There was a reason he hated locked doors.

xxx

...It's love that I'm sending to you...

xxx

He went walking sometimes.

Late at night, when those all to fequent bouts of insomnia hit him, he went walking through the streets he knew so well, but were so strangely unfamiliar. It was odd, seeing all these buildings through his own eyes, instead of borrowed ones, and he still wasn't quite used to seeing that unfamiliar reflection of his own face when he passed windows.

He always tried to take a different route, but he always passed by the same apartment building. He didn't mean to (at least most of the time) but when he realised where he was, he would always stop and stare at a particular window, wondering if the person beyond that window even gave him a passing thought. He didn't know how long he stayed but sometimes by the time he left, his feet were aching, and dawn was beginning to stain the horizon.

But he didn't regret any pains he got from those walks.

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...It isn't the love of a hero...

xxx

He thinks he might be in love.

He doesn't quite know if he is, because he hadn't felt anything but anger and hatred in so long, he thought maybe he used all his other emotions as fuel to keep those two burning for so long.

But...

When he bought to mind that soft, pale face, framed by snowy tresses and soft doe eyes peering up at him, hiding a strength that surpassed many, a strange feeling appeared in his stomach and where he assumed his heart was felt light. Bu even if it was love, he supposed nothing would ever come of it.

After all... who would love a villain and thief?

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... And that's why I fear it won't do

xxx

He really wasn't expecting anyone when there was a knock on his door.

He had been in the middle of cleaning his tiny aparment, just after he had gotten home from one of his walks, when a timid knock sounded on his door. The sound made him freeze for a split second; the only person who ever come here was his... Landlord (oh how he loathed that word now; just thinking it made him grimace) and it was far to early for that man to ever be here. The knock sounded again, a little louder this time and he knew he should answer.

"... Coming" he said finally, his voice rough from lack of use (when was the last time he had spoken to someone else? He couldn't remember anymore). Leaning the broom he had been using against the wall, he quickly strode across his tiny living room to his neverlocked door and opened it.

And he came face to face with the person who had been haunting his dreams.

"... Ryou" he choked out, his maroon eyes widening a fraction as he took in the person in front of him with disbelief. Ryou shifted nervously , his eyes glued to the ground. His hair was mussed, as if he had just gotten out of bed and the fact he was dressed in a pair of overlarge sweat pants and an old jumper further supported that theory.

And to Bakura, he had never looked more beautiful.

"... Uh... hi... Bakura" Ryou said, his voice nervous. He looked like a frighten hare ready to bolt, but he stubbornly stood his ground. He wasn't going to run. He had waited months for this and he wasn't going to back out now. "Can.. can I please come in?"

This seemed to snap Bakura out of his stupor. Quickly blinking a few times, he nodded and stood aside, allowing Ryou brush past him. The scent of cinnamon reached Bakura and he inhaled deeply, savouring it before it disappeared. Shutting the door quietly. he turned to face Ryou, who had settled himself on the small two seater couch, eyes darting around nervously. A flicker of a smile passed over Bakura's lips for a spilt second, but disappeared before he even registered it. Slowly crossing the room he quietly sat next to Ryou on the two seater, carefully averting his eyes so he wouldn't caught staring for too long. There was a subtle silence between them for several minutes when a thought suddenly struck him.

"How... how did you find me Ryou?" he asked, his rough voice cutting through the silence. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ryou grimace slightly. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, his brown eyes glued to the floor.

"Well... I saw you out the front of my apartment and... when you left I followed you here..." Ryou said, his voice so soft Bakura could barely hear it. "I... had spotted you outside the other night and I couldn't bring myself to follow until now..."

"... I didn't know you had seen me" said Bakura softly. He stared at the floor as well, not trusting himself to look anywhere else. "If I had known I would have-"

"You would have what? Left me alone again?" muttered Ryou almost bitterly. Startled by Ryou's tone, Bakura tore his eyes from the floor and for the first time he really looked at Ryou. The boy's skin was paler then it should have been and there were dark circles under his eyes that Bakura hadn't noticed before. Bakura's throat tightened and he couldn't speak for several minutes.

"... What do you mean Ryou?" he asked when he finally found his voice. Ryou's head jerked up and he turned to glare at Bakura, who met his surprisingly fierce gaze with only the slightest of flinches.

"What do you think I mean Bakura? You disappeared when I slept and when I woke up you were no where to be found. How do you think I felt when I couldn't find you?And it's been so damn quiet in that damn place and in my head for the last few months that I haven't been able to sleep because the silence and loneliness have been deafening and I can't take it anymore. I have to know why the hell you decided to leave me like that without saying a damn word!" By the time Ryou had finished speaking, his voice had risen a near shout and he had shifted his body until he was kneeling sideways on the tiny couch, face close to Bakura's, his brown eyes blazing but sad at the same time. Maroon eyes wide, Bakura stared at him wordlessly, his mouth slightly open as his brain tried to process the face of Ryou's face being that close and what the pale boy had said (only he wasn't a boy anymore was he? He hadn't been for a long time and in the corner of Bakura's mind he had known that, but he found it easier to resist if he forced himself to think like that).

"I-I had thought that you wouldn't have wanted me there after... everything" he choked out, a faint streak of red dusting the his pale cheeks. Ryou's eyelids slid shut and he leaned back sighing.

"Don't you think that should have been up to me?" he said softly, tipping his head to the side so it leaned against the back of the couch. He sighed tiredly before continuing. "Bakura... did you ever think that I didn't want you to leave? That I... "

HIs voice faded off as his eyes opened and deep brown met maroon for the longest time. Slowly, Bakura's hand seemlingly took a mind of it's own and gently cupped the side of Ryou's face, his thumb stroking the pale cheek slowly. Ryou leaned into the touch as Bakura's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to digest exactly what was being said (he wanted to believe he wasn't dreaming, that this was real, but he was so damn tired and he didn't quite know this was real or not... but if this was a dream he never wanted to wake up. Ever.).

"But why? Why would you want me anywhere near you after all I've done to you?" he murmured, his voice barely heard. Ryou sighed and rolled his eyes before smiling slightly.

"I knew... that it wasn't all you. I could feel you fighting something sometimes and I didn't know what it was until after... everything. And besides...you're the other half of my soul, and wether you realize it or not, we need each othe-mphf!"

Ryou was suddenly cut off by Bakura leaning forward and pressing his lips against his. Ryou's eyes widened slightly in shock before slowly sliding closed as he shyly pressed back, a soft noise escaping his throat. The hand on his cheek slid around to the base of his neck, pulling him closer as their lips moved in slow tandem. Pulling back with a soft sigh, Bakura rested his forehead against Ryou's, his eyes sliding closed. Hearing Ryou quietly catch his breath, a half smile appeared on his face.

"That's one reason that I want you to come back" Ryou said eventually, his voice still slightly breathless, as a soft smile appeared on his face. Reaching a hand up, he threaded his slim fingers into Bakura's surprisingly soft wild locks.

"Oh is that a reason huh? Am I that good of a kisser?" said Bakura, his tone teasing as he smirked. Ryou flushed as he pulled back slightly, much to Bakura's disappointment.

"That's not- I didnt- That isn't what I meant-!" Ryou stuttered out, his face bright red and eyes wide. Bakura chuckled as as he drew Ryou close again, his hand threading through snowy tresses. He pressed his lips against Ryou's heated cheek in an attempt to calm the boy. Ryou stiffened for a split second before melting into Bakura's embrace. Bakura's lips felt cool against his cheek until he pulled away, a slight smile on his face.

"Better?" he murmured, his voice still rough, but gentle at the same time. Ryou silently nodded, his face still flushed as Bakura chuckled. "I knew what you meant Ryou... I was just teasing"

"Well I know that now..." Ryou said, embrassment tinging his voice as the redness in his face slowly fading. The early morning sun filtered through the window as Ryou bit back a yawn, his brown eyes hazy with tiredness. Bakura smiled at the cute picture his hikari made, before leaning in and pressing a light kiss to Ryou's lips.

"Seems like I'm not the only one who is tired" he said this tone light and teasing. He stood up and extended his hand, the sun shining through the window and giving his skin a slight glow. "Come on, we can use my bed. That is... if you don't mind me holding you while you sleep"

"I don't mind that all Bakura" Ryou replied, a smile, his face glowing his happiess as he grasped Bakura's hand in his own. But then something seemed to occurr to him and his face fell. "Oh... I forgot about Marik..."

"Marik?" Bakura's eyebrows furrowed and he thought he felt something akin to jealousy.

"Marik... he... uhm, walked me here because I was afraid of getting lost" Ryou said, his voice tinged with some embrassment, as if he was admitting a weakness. Bakura chuckled as he touched Ryou's cheek briefly, savouring the smoothness for a brief second before pulling away.

"Why don't you go get settled and I'll send him off" he said quietly, gesturing towards a door that was only a few feet away, on the opposite wall. Ryou hestiated for a second before the smile returned to his face and he nodded. He stood, his eyelids drooping with tiredness as he pressed a brief kiss onto Bakura's cheek before moving sluggishly towards the door, betraying just how tired he really was.

Bakura watched with a slight smile as Ryou nudged the door shut before looking around on the ground for something. Where was it... Ah! there it was! Leaning down he picked up a discarded shoe, a slight smirk on his face. It wasn't his shoe of course, but one he had found not last week under the couch, which had come with the apartment. Striding over to the window, he spied a familiar head of blond hair.

Prying the window open, he leant out the window and took aim... and hit his target with a thud and a screech of pain. Bakura supressed a laugh as Marik looked aroud wildly before zoning in on him. A scowl marred his face as he glared up at him, holding the shoe accusingly.

"Bakura you prick! That hurt" he yelled, his blond hair glowig slightly in the early morning light. Bakura chuckled as he leaned on the windowsill, his tired eyes stinging in the light.

"Go home. I'll take care of Ryou" he called, his smirk firmly fixed on his face as Marik started curing in Arabic, rubbing the back of his head where the shoe had hit him. Withdrawing, he shut the window with a chuckle, cutting of the stream of curses. Suppressing his own yawn, he headed toward his bedroom door and nudged it open, smiling at the sight that greeted him.

His bedroom was sparse at the best of times, only consisting of a double bed and a chest of drawers, but somehow... it didnt seem as bare as it usually was. That was proberly had something to do with the pale figure already curled up asleep on top of the bedcovers.

Watching Ryou for a few seconds, Bakura quickly crossed the room and lay down carefully behind Ryou, mindful not to disturb him. Then, carefully he drew the boy close, inhaling the cinnamon scent and thinking that maybe he didn't have to be a hero to be loved.

He knew that later there was going to be awkwardness and words better left unspoken but for now all he cared about was the warmth and the scent and the unfamiliar lightness in his chest.

He thinks he might be happy now.