Exploring the Darkness by EricaLorena

Hello my sweet angels! I know this took a while to update and I am really sorry about that, I got caught up with my other stories, Love and Music and Friends with Benefits. I hope you guys can forgive me! I actually wrote this in a few days, so that should make up for it…I forced myself to get it done so that you guys could read it now rather than a few months from now when I would have gotten the energy to do it…Anyway! Enough of my excuses!

As I am sure you guys have noticed, I changed my name from sasukelover154 to EricaLorena. I'm sorry for any confusion that this causes, it was hard to do because I had that name for like 4 years…but this is typically my name on websites, so it's just easier this way. You guys can follow me on Twitter at EricaLorena93 and see all my fantastic adventures! If you happen to follow me, you should tweet me so that I can know who you are! I would love to know what you guys think about this through either reviews or tweets, remember guys: reviews make me update faster! Also, if you guys want to make me fanart, I would not object!

I think I've babbled enough for right now, please enjoy and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately.

Warning: Over all nothing too bad, some swearing, kissing, and general heartbreak.

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Sasuke gently held onto Naruto's tanned and scarred cheeks as he continued delicately kissing those sweet lips against his. The feeling of Naruto's hands gripping his waist so tightly was deliciously enticing.The cold air seemed like a distant worry, now that they were nearly sharing the same space while Sasuke stood as close as he could to the smaller blonde. Even though he had given his sweater to Naruto, and wearing nothing but his t-shirt, he was not the least bit cold. The feeling of this boy in his arms was more than enough to keep him warm.

Their kiss was unlike any other kiss he had shared with another person. Ino's kisses had been rough, demanding, and thoroughly unpleasant, for more reasons than them simply being drunk. The kisses he and Naruto had shared in his drunken dream were completely different. Those caresses had been passionate, electrifying, and tremendously heated. What he was sharing with Naruto in that moment was on the other end of the spectrum from both of these. The little kisses he was sharing with Naruto were sweet, beautifully gentle, and feathery light. The way he was pecking the blonde's pink lips was as if he was afraid of the other breaking beneath his fingertips if he was too rough with him.

How could Sai stand kissing any other lips but these, this is pure heaven. I don't want to stop kissing him. This is so much better than the drunken vision I had of him so long ago. His body is so warm, even though it's cold outside, his skin in so soft in my hands. I could stay like this forever, if he would allow it. I want to kiss away all his heartache, until all he is left with is the sweet feeling of my rapidly growing adoration. I can't remember a time when I was so happy. This beautiful blonde has been all I thought about for so long now, and now…I'm finally feeling what it's like to kiss him. With his sweet lips against mine, nothing could possibly make me happier in this moment.

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Naruto's mind was spinning in dizzying pirouettes as Sasuke gently touched his tear and scar marred cheeks with his chilly fingertips. The cold, pale fingers were in sharp contrast to the warm kiss between them, helping Naruto to keep his grip on reality. His fingers dug into the curve of Sasuke's waist harshly, he was holding on with such fervor that he was sure he would leave bruises on Sasuke's thin, pale waist. He could not tolerate to release the raven, lest he halt showing the heartbroken teen such tender affection. With Sasuke's hands touching him, he felt as if maybe there was hope for the reconstruction of his broken heart. However, at the moment his heart still ached and bled freely with the freshly inflicted wound Sai had dealt him. Naruto feared the wound would never close. Sasuke's kisses helped to cover up the hole left in his heart, but he knew that underneath it all, his heart was still breaking into millions of shattered pieces; Sai still imprinted on his mind, no matter how hard he tried.

It feels so wrong to be even minutely enjoying Sasuke's kiss. Just hours ago, Sai and I broke up after four months of dating and weeks longer of being together… However, right now, his compassion is the only thing stopping me from collapsing from my mountains of self-pity. Even if this is completely out of the blue, and out of character, it feels so good to be cared for by someone.

Their kiss was sweet; their lips barely moved, simply reveling in the connection between them. Naruto's mind went back to how Sai would kiss him. Sai had always been the domineering type, always grabbing him roughly, leaving marks all over his skin, and generally leaving Naruto in a writhing mess. When he kissed Sai, it was pure intensity, animalistic want, and physical need. These soft, feathery kisses were a completely new territory. There was a tenderness to them that Naruto would have never thought attainable by the raven in front of him.

I still don't fully understand what is going on. We haven't talked in months…even the last time we talked, it wasn't exactly the most friendly of conversations. But this kiss feels so good…Sai was always so commanding, I usually didn't have an option, when we were together it was established that we would make out for most, if not all, of the time. I've never been kissed so tenderly before. This isn't even making out, he just keeps pecking my lips softly. His gentle kisses are almost suffocating…he isn't even trying to hide that he cares for me…even if it might only be a little bit…

Why didn't Sai ever kiss me like this? Was I just a hot piece of ass to him? I know I shouldn't…but I miss him…I miss his kisses, at least when he kissed me it was some sign that he wanted me in his life, at least for that moment. I wish it could have been this way between us…This is how I had always wanted it to be with him. I just wanted to know that he cared for me, that I was more to him than just another guy. I wanted to know he didn't just want to get in my pants, but that he thought of me as important to him… The tears that sprung to his eyes again were unstoppable. The tears rushed hot down his cheeks as Sasuke tried his best to brush them away, but he simply could not keep up with the streams. It took all his strength not to gasp with his sobs as Sasuke continued to stroke their lips together affectionately.

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The need for air slowly became apparent and Sasuke reluctantly pulled away from the blonde. He delicately brushed the tears away from Naruto's cheeks with his thumbs, feeling as if his heart was breaking as each new tear sprung to the surface. How can someone live with themselves knowing they caused someone this much pain. Sai deserves to go to hell for causing this beautiful angel this pain. The tears eventually slowed but a smile did not grace the blonde's lips. He no longer sobbed hysterically, but there was no hint of a smile. Sasuke looked down to the ground, suddenly becoming slightly ashamed of his actions.

"I'm sorry, Naruto." Sasuke ran a hand through his midnight hair. "That was out of line, I shouldn't have done that. It was inappropriate given the current situation."

"No…I'm glad you did." Naruto said slowly, putting his hands in his pockets. "I just don't understand what's going on right now." The hitch in his voice caused Sasuke to look back up. In his bright cerulean eyes contained the shiny appearance of tears. A single tear leaked through the corner of his eye, leaving a small, shiny streak down the tan skin of his cheek.

With a wrenching heart, Sasuke once again reached out and gently brushed the evidence of the tear away. All I've done is confuse him more. Good going, Sasuke. So much for making him feel better. But I just couldn't hold back any longer… I know how strange this is, but ever since I had that first vision of him, I haven't been able to get him out of my head. No matter how hard I try, he's there. I think…I might have been jealous of Sai…Maybe that's why I couldn't stand the sight of the bastard. How could he just throw Naruto away as if he was nothing?

"I'm sorry…I didn't meant to make things harder for you." Sasuke sighed quietly. He walked back the few steps to the swing set and collapsed into the seat heavily. Naruto waited a moment but hesitantly joined him.

"I just…I already have so much on my mind…" The blonde kicked at the gravel below his feet, causing the noise to echo through the quiet air between them.

"I got carried away…" Sasuke began to explain himself quietly, unable to look over at Naruto for the fear that he would lose the little confidence he had gained with the kiss. "I just wanted to show you that not every guy is an asshole…even though I acted like it for a long time…I didn't want to see you upset anymore…I wanted to see that smile on your face." Sasuke could not stop the words as they tumbled from his lips.

What was I expecting? That he was going to be ecstatic and forget all about Sai? He just had his heart shattered by, probably, the only person he has ever loved; of course he is going to be messed up. I'm an idiot. Of course my kissing him was not going to help anything. How fucking stupid can I be? Now I've just given him more to think about. He's already a mess, how dare I screw him up more…Good going, Sasuke, way to fuck something up by trying to help.

"I have a lot to think about, Sasuke. I'm sorry." Naruto sniffed delicately but Sasuke did not want to look over at him. The last thing he wanted to see was the precious blonde in tears again.

"I'm still here to talk, if you want to that is. I don't mind." Sasuke did not want to go home like this. I can't just go home after doing this to him, I have to make sure that he is going to be okay...

"I just…I don't understand why you did this." Naruto said quietly after a few moments of sitting in silence. "Can you tell me?"

"I haven't stopped thinking about you for months now. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I would have to say that you have been on my mind since we first met in the lobby." Sasuke began quietly, running a hand through his hair. "I hated seeing you with him, and I couldn't understand why…that is, until very recently. I've been jealous of him for a while now. I tried to avoid you guys, but it was no use, you were still always on my mind, no matter how hard I tried." Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, needing to see his reaction or else he thought he would go crazy.

The blonde's azure eyes were wide, his mouth slightly agape in shock. Sasuke was unsure of how to gauge this reaction. Minutes passed before either could speak.

"I know I'm an asshole…" Sasuke started again when the blonde did not make any response. "I know I can be, and have been, really horrible to you since you got here but…I want to fix that. I want to try and make it up to you…" Sasuke could feel himself becoming desperate in his words. He felt the need to explain his feelings, needing the other boy to understand.

Now that I've come so far to admit all this to him, I would hate to be rejected. I know that I'm an asshole in general and that he has every right to hate me…but I can feel in my heart that I won't forgive myself if I don't try to make him understand where I'm coming from.

"Why are you bringing all of this up so suddenly?" Naruto asked with his blonde brows pulled together in contemplation.

"Because I couldn't stand to keep it inside any longer…The opportunity presented itself to let you know how I feel…and I decided to take it." Sasuke shoved the bangs from his eyes and let out a long breath that he had not realized he was holding.

"And what do you want from me…?" Naruto did not ask the question rudely or even harshly. His voice sounded exhausted, as if all of his emotions had drained from his body. The tears in his eyes disappeared, though his eyes remained shiny.

"I don't expect anything from you, Naruto." Sasuke spoke delicately, careful that his tone did not come off rude, but caring and explanatory. "I just want you to know how I feel about you; I would never forgive myself if I didn't." He licked his lips in the moments silence before he felt the need to add, "Also, you should know that he isn't the only one who likes you." Sasuke was unable to say his name out loud, but he knew that Naruto would know who he was talking about.

Several minutes passed in silence where Naruto simply stared up into the bright, silver light of the moon. After biting his lip, and taking several deep breaths through his mouth, a look resembling relief crossed his face, though it remained shrouded in grief.

"I can't handle a relationship right now, or for a while at least. I need to get over Sai, and think about a lot of things." Naruto turned slightly so that he could look at Sasuke fully for the first time. "But I would really appreciate having a friend. I think I could handle that much." A small sparkle entered the previously heartbroken eyes as a ghost of his goofy grin lifted the corners of his pink lips. The look only lasted a moment before the sadness returned, but Sasuke was glad to cause the blonde even a moment's happiness.

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Several minutes passed in silence. Both boys swung quietly, merely pushing themselves back and forth with their legs.

Naruto's mind was still running in squiggly circles. I have been on a fucking rollercoaster today. First I find out my, now ex, boyfriend is cheating on me, and now I find out that Sasuke, someone who has only ever been a jerk to me…likes me? This is so much to process right now. I still can't stop thinking about Sai…Why did he do that to me…is it me? Is it something I did? Was I not a good enough boyfriend…I thought I was decent enough…I thought I was serious…I thought we were serious…I'm so confused…I wonder what he's thinking about…Naruto! Stop thinking like that! Yes he cheated on you but that does not mean it had anything to do with you…it says more about his character than yours…but then why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like he tore out my heart, ripped it to shreds and put it back in my ribs? I'm surprised it still beats… I didn't think it was possible for a broken heart to keep beating…

"Do you want to go back to the apartments?" Sasuke asked quietly, breaking the long silence. Naruto realized that Sasuke had been looking at him with a raised eyebrow for some time now, obviously worried about his wellbeing.

"Not really." Naruto said, shaking his head slightly. "I don't think I can face my apartment quite yet…" He ran a hand through his hair, trying to push the annoying hairs off his forehead.

"Do you want me to leave you alone then…?" Sasuke hesitantly began to rise from his swing as he spoke.

"No!" Naruto said a little too loudly, causing Sasuke to drop back down into his seat. "I know it's selfish, but I don't want to be alone right now…" I would lose it again if I were to be left alone…or worse I might end up running back to Sai on impulse…It's definitely better if I'm around someone sane right now… And I really don't want him to leave…I actually really like his company…

"It's no problem; I'll stay with you for a while longer. I don't mind." Naruto could see the hint of kindness in those dark eyes, just the smallest hint of a smile on the pale lips.

It was in that moment that Naruto decided that the cause for Sasuke's sudden kindness did not matter. If a friendly demon was possessing Sasuke, and chose Naruto as his next target, then he would accept it. Naruto needed a friend now more than ever; he could not be meticulous with his suitors. Besides that, when he looked into Sasuke's bottomless eyes, he felt like they could be friends. There was something in those deep pits that spoke to him on a deeper level than simply his physical shell. No matter how ridiculously stupid they started out, or how much they used to despise each other, there was obviously something beneath their surface. Naruto could feel something more in his stomach when those eyes were on him full of concern. Yes, there is definitely something there between us…it just isn't something I can deal with right now… I also thought Sai and I had something, but I turned out to be very wrong about that…I don't even know the first thing about him…He probably has an interesting history…like me…maybe…maybe right now, and when we first met, I was just attracted to the allure of his mystery…

I do remember a time when I thought about him a lot…but I simply attributed it to the possibility that we were destined to be enemies. I mean, right after we met I probably endangered his life ten times…and he seemed so hateful… Maybe we're supposed to be more than that… Who am I to question fate or destiny? Stranger people have ended up together… You can't question who you're meant to be with…but at this moment…I'm not ready for it…for him…

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Author's Note:

So we took two steps forward…and one step back. Sorry about playing with your emotions…but I couldn't realistically have Naruto go straight from Sai to Sasuke with no middle ground. But we've been on an emotional rollercoaster haven't we? Was I the only one who just sobbed through the last chapter and like half of this one? It's just so sad! Poor Naru is heartbroken and no one can help him!

What did you guys think? I'm sorry that they still aren't together, but I promise that they will be eventually, this is a SasuNaru and me after all (I have to have a happy ending, or else I don't function). But let me know what you thought by means of a review or a tweet to EricaLorena93 please! Knowing that you guys like these stories helps me to update faster, so if you like this you have to tell me. Or you can always send me inspiration by means of making me fanart!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and hopefully more will be coming soon, until then you guys can check out my other stories, you know where to find them!

You guys are the best,

-EricaLorena