I had this on my other fanfiction account, witheyeslookingup, so don't be alarmed to see it twice. :)

(10:25)

John, what do I do if the sink is on fire? -SH

(10:27)

How do I stop that obnoxious beeping noise from the smoke alarm? -SH

(10:27)

We need a new smoke alarm. -SH

(10:52)

John, where have you put my gloves. I hate it when you clean the flat. -SH

(10:55)

Never mind, they were in my coat. -SH

(11:30)

John, what are we having for dinner? Chinese sounds lovely. -SH

(11:35)

I hate it when you work. -SH

(12:00)

Where have you hidden your gun? Clever John, clever. -SH

(12:12)

I'M SO BORED -SH

(12:20)

john im dying help -SH

(12:40)

I could have literally been dying. I see how much you care, DOCTOR. -SH

(12:50)

I found Pride & Prejudice in your room. The inside cover says Clara and the pages are old and yellowed, not to mention well worn. But they're stiff. It hasn't been read in a while. There are tear stains on some of the pages, but not yours. Your military posture is impeccable, even when absorbed in your reading material, and it wouldn't allow you to get tears on the pages. Meaning Harry got this book from Clara when they were still married and you took it when they broke up because she cried over the pages. Your compassion is astounding. You haven't returned it because you've forgotten about - it was in the bottom of your desk drawer under old bills. -SH

(1:10)

Sherlock, I borrowed it from Clara because she wanted me to read it. I didn't cry. Harry hates reading. Go buy a new smoke alarm.

(1:10)

John! Are you coming home? -SH

(1:13)

No, just having lunch. I told you I work until five, Sherlock.

(1:14)

But John! I'm so bored! -SH

(1:15)

Go watch a movie! I have a few on my laptop that are good.

(1:15)

I would never level myself to such filth, John. -SH

(1:16)

A brilliant mind like mine doesn't need that kind of stimulation. -SH

(1:17)

What is this. "Busty blonde", John, really? -SH

(1:20)

…I meant the actual movies. Get out of my porn folder.

(1:26)

John! JOHN. This is terrifying! What is she DOING? -SH

(1:27)

I don't know, Sherlock. If you're really that bored, go get a new smoke alarm. Lord knows we'll need one. And milk!

(2:20)

I got a new alarm. -SH

(2:22)

And milk?

(2:23)

… -SH

(3:00)

Yes, and milk. -SH

(3:10)

Don't put spores in it, this time. Please. I'm begging.

(3:10)

Gotta run, Sarah's making rounds. DON'T CATCH ANYTHING ELSE ON FIRE.

(3:12)

If I don't, can we have Chinese tonight? -SH

(3:13)

Sherlock, if you can manage to keep the flat fire-free for the next three hours, I'll buy you all the Chinese food in the world.

(3:15)

Deal. -SH