Short Introduction:
This is the Legendary PKMN series, created by me, now on . The original stories are still on deviantart, as well as artwork and my other drawings. However from now on, each time I submit a new chapter of lPKMN, it shall be submitted here as well!
For now, I will upload all the chapters I've posted thus far to Fanfiction, with about three chapters per day until I hit the current ones.
Note that this story was published in 2009, and only the first chapter has since been updated, so the story may seem a bit choppy in the beginning. And FYI, I tend to misspell words on purpose for humorous emphasis, frequently 'Yor'.
That said and done, enjoy the story!
Chapter one: Hamburgers, and the end of all life as we know it
Chapter one: Hamburgers, and the end of all life as we know it
-
"For the last time Mew…" Darkrai said angrily. He held up in his black arms an orange and an apple, one in each hand.
"The apple is RED and the orange is... well...ORANGE!" Darkrai repeated for the fifteenth time, hoping Mew would finally get it, so that Darkrai could get back to his own things he needed to do.
"Which one's the apple?" Mew asked innocently.
"The RED fruit!" said Darkrai angrily.
"What's Red?"
"AAAAAARRRRRGGGG!"
Arceus, God of all legendary Pokemon, had previously ordered Darkrai to help Mew learn about stuff, because Mew didn't know so much about stuff. And so, Darkrai was (forced) to teach Mew in the Hall of Origin, where all legends resided.
Today's lesson: The color spectrum.
"THIS is an apple! It is RED!" Darkrai said, holding an apple, "And THIS is an ORANGE. It is ORANGE! GET IT!" Darkrai shouted. Mew paused, as if contemplating something.
"…So which one's the banana again?" he asked.
"THERE IS NO BANANA!" Darkrai shouted in rage. Mew was ticking him off very much right now.
"Oh! I get it!" Mew suddenly exclaimed, "That's an apple!" Mew said, pointing to the apple, "And that's an orange!" Mew said, pointing to the orange. Darkrai was stunned. Did Mew finally get it…?
"Excellent! So you understand colors now?" Darkrai asked eagerly, wanting to do more important things than teach kids about-
"What's a color?" Mew asked.
Darkrai fell down.
He immediately got back up, smoking in anger.
"I'M GONNA SHOVE A DARK VOID RIGHT UP YOR-"
"Don't finish that sentence, little brother." a new voice said. The prince of darkness narrowed his eyes.
"Oh great. Now Ms. Lunar queen has arrived." Darkrai said sarcastically. He turned around to face his older sister, Cresselia.
"Why thank you little brother, perhaps you finally understand the hierarchy now." Cresselia mocked. Darkrai narrowed his eyes further.
"If you mean that you place yourself lower than dirt, than yes. And stop calling me 'little' brother!" Darkrai retorted angrily.
"Why not, LITTLE BROTHER? I AM older than you after all." Cresselia said her usual superiority tone.
"BY ONE WEEK!" Darkrai shouted back.
"Yes. And that makes me one week wiser, more beautiful and generally better than you will ever be." Cresselia smirked. Darkrai stared at her, fuming.
"Cresselia. You're the second to die."
"Pft. Empty threats." Cresselia rolled her eyes, floating away. However she then turned back to face Darkrai. "Wait a minute. You said 'Second'. Who's the first?" Both of them turned around because they heard a munching sound. They saw Mew, happily eating Darkrai's apple.
"HEY! STOP EATING MY TEACHING INSTRUMENTS!" Darkrai shouted as he ran (floated?) over to Mew, and snatched the apple away. Apparently, Darkrai was too late, as there was left was the core.
"Darkrai!" Mew exclaimed, "The apples insides are yellow! Does that mean that apples are secretly bananas?"
"NO! …Wait a minute! How the hell did you know that bananas are yellow when you don't know apples are red!"
"What's a yellow?"
Darkrai immediately went berserk and began to attack Mew in a frenzy of dark empowered attacks as Mew ran away in sheer terror of the pursuing Ghost-like legendary.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Arceus teleported into the room.
"I have an announcement!" she said. Unfortunately for her, she teleported right into Darkrai's running (floating?) pattern, and Darkrai rammed into her trying to kill Mew. Arceus was sent flying into a wall as a result.
"…Oh crap." Darkrai said, realizing what he had done. Arceus got up and said in divine rage
"WHO DID THAT!" Arceus looked directly at Darkrai, waiting for a response. Fearful of Arceus' punishments (which were always extremely harsh), Darkrai spat out in terror
"PALKIA DID IT!" He pointed to Palkia, who just randomly walked into the room.
"Hmm?" the giant legend said in confusion. Arceus ran (floated?) up to him.
"Palkia," Arceus accused. "for doing this deed, you shall be punished!"
"No! Please!" he pleaded, even though he had no clue what he did wrong. Palkia knew very well that Arceus' punishments were all harsh and cruel. Sometimes, legendary Pokemon were wiped off the face of the earth. "Please don't blow me up into a billion pieces and scatter them across the cosmos!" Palkia said desperately.
"I COULD do that…" Arceus began, "But I'm going to do something FAR worse…" Palkia began sweating profusely now.
"No videogames for a week."
"BUT MOOOOOOOOOMMMM…." Palkia wailed.
"ONE WEEK!" Arceus said fiercely, stamping her foot (hoof?) on the ground. Palkia grumbled and went up to his room saddened because now he could no longer play HALO online…
Arceus regained her composure, and looked at the lunar and eclipse Pokemon. The latter was nervously whistling and the former was glaring at the latter.
"You two, I need to have a word with you both." she commanded. Darkrai and Cresselia walked (floated?) up to the God legendary.
"I have an important announcement!" Arceus said again. "One that could drastically affect the entire world if left unchecked!" Cresselia and Darkrai began to listen intently as Arceus cleared her throat.
"I'M HUNGRY!" she shouted.
Darkrai fell down.
"THAT'S IT!" Darkrai flailed his arms in exasperation, "THAT'S THE IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!"
"FOOL!" Arceus said back, "Me being hungry IS a big deal! Weren't you paying attention when I went over this last week!"
"Hmm…" Darkrai thought back.
-
FLASHBACK- ONE WEEK AGO "…And so, I'm probably going be hungry next week," Arceus said to all the legendaries, who had gathered in the center of the Hall of Origin, "Now you must pay attention to this part because-" Darkrai's Ipod: "NOW IF SHE DOES IT LIKE THIS, WELL YA' DO IT LIKE THAT! NOW IF SHE TOUCHES LIKE THIS, THEN YA' TOUCH 'ER RIGHT BACK! NOW IF SHE MOVES LIKE THIS, THEN YA' MOVE IT LIKE THAT! C'MON! SHAKE SHAKE! SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE IT!" - END FLASHBACK
If Arceus had hands, she would have slapped herself. Cresselia, who had hands, did it for her.
"YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION MORE!"
"Tch." Darkrai muttered.
"Okay look, the reason that this is important, is because I only get hungry once every year!" God started all over again, "And when I get hungry, I usually crave hamburgers!"
"…And this affects the entire world HOW?" Darkrai said sarcastically.
"BECAUSE," Arceus said impatiently "If I don't get a hamburger by the end of a twelve hour period, my stomach will implode, and because I am a god, it will turn into a super massive black hole that will suck up everything in sight and cause THE END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!" Arceus finished dramatically. Darkrai and Cresselia's eyes widened.
Their eyes widened even more when Arceus' stomach began growling.
"…It's begun…" Arceus narrowed her eyes "Darkrai! Cresselia! You two must go down to earth and get me a hamburger! With no onions!"
"Wait… Why do WE have to do it! You're a god aren't you, can't you use your omnipotent powers to create a hamburger instead?" Darkrai questioned.
"I can't!" Arceus blurted out, "Hamburgers are one of the few substances in the universe that my powers have no control over! Another one is pencil shavings!"
"PENCIL SHAVINGS?"
"Look, it has to do with their molecular structure which-"
"I don't want to know." Darkrai put out his hand to halt her speech. Cresselia stepped forward.
"Very well, we shall get you one hamburger." she said. Arceus smiled at her daughter.
"Oh by the way, you have to take Mew with you." remembered Arceus.
"WHAT!" Darkrai blurted out, "There is no way I'll take that stupid furball with me!"
"Darkrai! It's either that, or the world is going to end!" Cresselia scolded.
Darkrai weighed his choices. World ending VS being within twenty feet of Mew for over two minutes. He contemplated.
"Yeah, I'll take the end of the world option please." Darkrai said after contemplation.
"Darkrai!" Cresselia scolded "…Okay fine! If you help us, I won't submit your diary to the internet!" Darkrai was taken aback and he blushed profusely.
"I-I-I DON'T HAVE A DIARY!" Darkrai said red in the face. Cresselia pulled out a black book. Darkrai looked at it and gasped.
"That's not mine." Darkrai quickly said. Cresselia turned the book over, and on that side was 'Property of Darkrai'.
"That's not me." Cresselia turned it again, and on that side was a picture of Darkrai on it.
"Hah! Little bro has a diary!" Dialga said as he randomly walked in.
"IT'S CALLED A JOURNEL!" Darkrai shouted desperately. Dialga turned around and kept on laughing. Once he was a safe distance away, Dialga's look was replaced with fear.
"Oh crap, I hope Cresselia didn't find mine…"
BACK TO DARKRAI!
"Fine! I'll take the idiot along…" Darkrai bitterly admitted as he crossed his arms. Cresselia shortly got Mew, who was happy to go on an adventure, and they were ready to take the portal to go to Earth. Arceus gave them one last piece of advice beforehand.
"Oh! Mewtwo should already be down on Earth, so make sure he doesn't go ballistic and turn Pokemon into newts or something!" Arceus' stomach growled again, and she winced to hold it in. "Hurry!" And with that, all three jumped through the swirling pinkish purple portal.
-
EARTH
A burst of intense white light later, Darkrai, Cresselia and Mew arrived on Earth.
"We made it to earth!" Cresselia said.
"Thank you for noting the obvious." noted Darkrai sarcastically. Cresselia glared at her younger brother. Darkrai ignored her and looked around for a hamburger joint.
"Well, let's get this over with." Darkrai said with impatience.
"Oh, would you stop being all doom and gloom?" Cresselia rolled her eyes "It's getting a hamburger. This will be easy!"
?: "Or WILL it!"
All three heads turned, especially Darkrai's. He knew that voice, that deep dark tone, he just hoped that he was just hearing things and that what he heard wasn't-
"Malispite!" Cresselia exclaimed.
So much for that.
In front of the trio stood a tall brown bat shaped creature with large wings on its back, and three tails. He was colored greenish blue in certain parts of his body shaped like tattoo's, and the crown of his head was sand colored. Malispite smirked at them with his green eyes.
"I'm here to fight you guys!" Malispite declared.
"Oh Come on! Can't I kick your ass later!" Darkrai asked angrily.
"No! And besides, I'M going to win!" Malispite got into a fighting stance.
"Why the hell do you want to fight me anyways!"
"Because: every series needs an antagonist, and Cataclyptic was too lazy to make one up, so he stole one from Gomez24! And besides, I LIKE calling you names! Mostly 'Cause its true, skirt goth!" Malispite laughed. Darkrai narrowed his eyes at the insult.
"Malispite, you're the third to die."
"…Third?"
"Number two is Cresselia, number one is Mew."
"Ah."
"Hey Darkrai, is Malispite yellow?" asked Mew.
"No. He is brown."
"What's brown?"
"…" Darkrai ignored Mew's comment and turned back to his mortal enemy since first grade.
"Anyways, you cannot win!" Cresselia smiled in victory "There's three of us and only one of you!" Malispite stepped backward. He just realized this- Malispite was clearly outnumbered.
"Yeah! I'm going to beat you!" Mew said, determined. He held up one finger, and it began shining.
'Oh crap he's using Metronome!' Malispite thought, preparing to defend himself, 'Any random attack could hit me!'
!
Mew instead, blew up and detonated an Explosion that, ironically, hit everything but Malispite. Darkrai, Cresselia and Mew collapsed on the ground, bruises everywhere, injuries abound. Malispite was stunned. He quickly got over it and declared
"HAH! I WIN!" Darkrai looked at Mew with pure rage.
"I am going to kill you." but before he could do said action, Malispite went over and smirked in victory at Darkrai, gloating.
"Let it be known that on today, I, Malispite, have stupendously defeated Darkrai and that he lost horribly!" he declared proudly.
"What the hell was that for!" Darkrai questioned.
"To humiliate you!" Malispite sneered. Darkrai struggled to move and kill the brown bat, but he was too drained from Explosion.
"Cresselia? Darkrai?" A voice said. Malispite began to break out in cold sweat. He knew that voice. He just hoped that it wasn't-
"CHUCK NORRIS!" Mew exclaimed.
"IT'S MEWTWO YOU IDIOT!" Darkrai said angrily. Malispite turned around and saw a all purplish cat like creature. Mewtwo. That was good. For a second there, he thought it really WAS Chuck Norris.
"Hello… Malispite…" Mewtwo grinned, "So are you here to fight?"
"Yep! I'll take you on too!" Malispite pointed, confident he could gain another win.
"Good. I need someone to be my research subject..." Mewtwo began smiling insanely as he fantasized. Malispite sweatdropped.
"Uh… Are you okay?" He asked. Instead of answering, Mewtwo instead pulled out a syringe with a rather large needle on it, causing visible beads of sweat to develop around Malispite's face.
"Would you like an extra toe, or an extra ear?" Mewtwo grinned psychotically.
"Uh… Uh…" Malispite stepped back in fear, cold sweat dripping down his face as the psychotic psychic began walking slowly towards him. "I'll see you guys later!" he said before flying off in fear. Mewtwo stared.
"Darn…" he went over to the trio and helped Darkrai and Cresselia up, both which were VERY hesitant to let Mewtwo help them. Mewtwo paused at Mew.
"…Can I at least experiment on him?" he asked.
"Be my guest." Darkrai said immediately.
"NO YOU CANNOT EXPERIMENT ON HIM!" Cresselia pulled back Mew before Mewtwo could stab the pink cat with his syringe.
"Tch…" said an annoyed psychopath.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Darkrai asked his friend. Mewtwo shrugged.
"Ah, you know. Turing people into newts with genetic manipulation."
Everyone stepped back in fear.
"Anyway! We must continue our original mission to find a hamburger." Cresselia reminded them of the reason the descended to earth in the first place.
"To the nearest McDonalds restaurant!" Darkrai pointed to the sky, "Mewtwo, you can join if you want." Darkrai, Cresselia and Mew headed downwards to a city. Mewtwo contemplated the possibilities.
'In a restaurant… there are people and Pokemon…' Mewtwo grinned, 'I wonder what I can do there…' Mewtwo ran (levitated?) off to meet up with the trio, a murderous look on his face.
-
THE NEAREST MCDONALDS RESTAURANT
Darkrai, Cresselia and Mew went through the doors. They immediately got in line, and waited for their turn. Fortunately, the line was not very long, and they would be at the cashiers station any second now.
"Okay! Time to order!" Cresselia said, determined. All three then realized that they were getting excess stares from everybody in the restaurant. A restaurant that happened to be all people for some reason…
Darkrai: "…"
Darkrai: "…Uh…?"
"IT'S DARKRAI! CATCH IT!" a random trainer yelled. Darkrai, as well as the other three legendary's were soon swarmed by hundreds of Pokemon being called out from their balls (heh, I said 'balls'). Soon, it was an all out battle because every trainer in the restaurant was trying to capture the legendary trio. It was obvious to the trio that they were losing, both in battle and time.
"Stand back you two!" Darkrai said to Cresselia and Mew. Darkrai charged up a dark sphere in his hands and held it upward, launching his signature Move.
"Dark Void!" Darkrai shouted. Thousands of tiny balls (heh, I said 'balls' again) shot from the sphere and hit every single trainer and Pokemon in the entire restaurant. Every trainer trying to capture them was instantly out to sleep and even had nightmares to boot. The deed done, Darkrai smirked with victory. The three proceeded to the front of the line.
"We would like to order a hamburger without onions." Cresselia said to the cashier. Unfortunately for her…
The cashier was caught up in a nightmare.
"…DARKRAI YOU IDIOT! YOU MADE THE PEOPLE WORKING HERE FALL ASLEEP TOO!" Cresselia screamed in rage.
"OH, LIKE YOU DON'T EVER MESS UP!" Darkrai yelled back.
"For the record, I don't. I'm one week more perfect than you." Darkrai clutched his head in anger as Cresselia spoke again.
"We must head to another restaurant!" Cresselia and Mew began to exit the building. Darkrai however, went up to Mewtwo.
"Mewtwo…" he whispered. "I have an assassination job for you…"
"Maybe later Darkrai, I just ran out of lethal poison." Mewtwo replied. Darkrai stared in fear at Mewtwo as he realized that most of the people in the building were almost dead . Mewtwo followed Cresselia with Darkrai following hesitantly behind.
-
ANOTHER RESTAURANT
At the next restaurant, Darkrai, Cresselia, and Mew had to fight off more people. About 35 people battled them, 17 people tried to catch them, and one succeeded in catching Mew. Cresselia made Darkrai release the Pokeball. In due time, they were once again in line to fulfill their mission of ordering a hamburger to prevent the world from ending.
"Wait a minute… Where's Mewtwo?" Cresselia asked Darkrai, realizing he was not with them anymore.
"Oh. He's in the bathroom. experimenting with the sink." replied the prince of darkness.
"Ah, okay." Cresselia turned back in line, but then whipped around frantically to face Darkrai.
"You said experimenting." she said fearfully.
"Uh… yeah…" Darkrai said, equally scared that Mewtwo was doing who knows what in the bathroom.
"Great. Do you know with what?"
"He said something about explosive chemicals." Darkrai replied. They then noticed a random pedestrian walking to the men's bathroom. Darkrai and Cresselia looked at each other.
"I'll stop him, you order." Cresselia said.
"I have a better idea," Darkrai held up his finger "Let's let Mew stop Mewtwo."
"Darkrai! Mewtwo is one of the most powerful legendary's; how the hell will Mew be able to stop him!"
"That's the point." Darkrai grinned evilly, fantasizing Mew's death. Cresselia glared at him.
"No. I will calm Mewtwo down, you order." She stated firmly. Before Darkrai could object, Cresselia zoomed off.
"Tch." Darkrai said, annoyed.
"Darkrai!" Mew zoomed up to him, "I discovered that cheese is brown!"
Darkrai: "…Keep trying Mew."
"Next." A voice said in front of them. Darkrai and Mew walked up to the cashier, finally able to order.
"Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?" A slightly deep voice said monotonously.
"Thank you! I would like a ham-"
Darkrai paused. There was something familiar about this particular cashier. Darkrai looked closer, and the cashier had brown fur. And long ears. And wings growing out of his back. And three tails.
In fact, this particular cashier bared a striking resemblance to-
"MALISPITE?" Darkrai blurted out in surprise.
"Yep. It's me. Now please order so that I can get on with my life." Malispite grumbled. Darkrai just stood there, mouth agape. A few seconds passed before
"BWAHAHAHHAHA! YOU WORK AT BURGER KING!"
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Malispite roared back in anger and embarrassment. But Darkrai kept laughing.
"ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'S FREAKING HILARIOUS! BWAHAHAHA!" Darkrai was now on the floor, laughing his tail off with tears of joy streaming down his face. Malispite looked on angrily, veins popping up on his head.
Mew suddenly floated up to his face. Mew stared at Malispite, curious. Then, he too began laughing as hard as Darkrai.
"HAH! YOU'RE BLUE!" Mew laughed on the floor.
"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" Malispite roared in both confusion and rage. After a few more rounds of laughter, Malispite's patience wore off.
"THAT DOES IT!" Malispite screamed furiously, "AS CASHIER, I HEREBY BAN YOU FROM THIS RESTAURANT!"
"BWAHAHAHA-…Wait… say what?" Darkrai panicked. Malispite smirked.
"You heard me! You are banned from this restaurant, and even if you come back, we will never serve you!" He pointed angrily at the ghost like legendary.
"SAY WHAT!" Cresselia said. She had just returned with Mewtwo, who had char all over his face and was grinning widely. "Darkrai! Apologize this instant!" she ordered.
"Sorry Cresselia, no can do. It's just too damn hilarious!" Darkrai smiled. Cresselia paused.
"…You know, it IS slightly humorous…" Cresselia chuckled.
"Funny too!" Mew piped up. Malispite, in his rage, shot them all with a Zap Cannon, and they were ejected from the restaurant from the powerful Move. They landed on the ground, and stood back up.
"Well… thanks a lot Darkrai." Cresselia scolded.
"Shut up. Can't I enjoy myself?"
"Not if it involves others expense." Cresselia said wisely.
"But that's the best kind of fun there is!" protested Darkrai.
"No it's not; watching people melt from acidity overdose is." Mewtwo added.
Everyone stared at Mewtwo.
"…I am a man of simple pleasures." Mewtwo shrugged.
"…Anyway, we must find another hamburger, before our time runs out!" said Cresselia, worried. Darkrai was more calm than her.
"Oh please. We have like, ten more hours to find a hamburger without onions." Darkrai passed it off as no big deal.
"ACTUALLY, THAT'S INCORRECT!" A voice boomed from the sky. Everyone turned to see Arceus' hologram. When God wanted to communicate with people who were far away, she used her powers to make holograms.
LEIK OBI-WAN KENOBI.
EXCEPT WORSE.
"I'm afraid I made a mistake," Arceus said, interrupting the author. "remember when I said twelve hours?"
"…Yeah…?" everyone said hesitantly.
"Well… I meant two."
"SAY WHAT?" everyone yelled.
"I LIKE SNAX!" Mew said, misspelling the word. Everyone stared at Mew
Darkrai: "…Hey Mewtwo, do you have any more of those explosive chemicals?"
Cresselia: "DARKRAI!"
"So anyway… I thought you might want to know how much time you have left…" Arceus said. Everyone leaned in closer; this was important information. "You have… only three hours and fifty five minutes remaining!"
Cresselia: "…How is that even possible?"
Arceus cocked her head. It DID seem illogical…
"Let do the math again…" Arceus said. She thought for a second. "Ah! Okay, you have twenty five minutes!"
"TWENTY FIVE MINUTES?"
"Don't worry! If you fail, it's just the world ending!" Arceus said cheerfully.
"…How is that supposed to make us feel better!" Darkrai asked in confusion.
"GOOD LUCK!" And with that, Arceus vanished.
-
And so, with the fate of the planet resting in their hands/claws, Darkrai, Cresselia, Mewtwo and Mew went to a different restaurant. They entered the one that said 'WENDY'S' on the sign. They quickly went in it, and shoved themselves to the front of the line.
"Sorry, emergency here!" Darkrai said as he pushed aside people, his touch giving some of them nightmares.
"HEY! IT'S DARKRAI!"
"Oh fric not again…" mumbled the prince of darkness.
"GET HIM!" Immediately, Darkrai was once again swarmed by hundreds of Pokemon and their trainers. Cresselia beamed, seeing opportunity.
"Good thinking Darkrai! While you distract the trainers, the line will be empty!" Cresselia smiled evilly.
"SCREW…YOU…!" Darkrai managed to blurt out from under the dog pile of people and Pokemon. Cresselia paid no attention, and she and Mew and Mewtwo went up to the front.
"One Hamburger! Without onions!" she said, "And quickly, lest the world end!"
"…Wait a minute…" the guy at the cash register said, "You're Cresselia!" said the cashier, a Rhyhorn.
"Yes." Cresselia smiled. She liked it when someone recognized her.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't serve you." said the Rhyhorn
"WHAT? Why not!" she asked.
"Folks over at Burger King called a sell-ban act. Every restaurant that sells hamburgers is obliged to it, and so you cannot be served." explained the ground type.
"WHAT! DAMN YOU DARKRAI!" Cresselia shouted in anger.
"SCREW...YOU…!" Darkrai shouted back, still trying to escape from the mound of trainers trying to catch him.
"I know how to get a hamburger…" Mewtwo suddenly said.
"Oh? How?" Cresselia was intrigued. Mewtwo smiled and pulled out his genetic splicing equipment.
"First, we get a cow…"
"WE ARE NOT GOING TO GENETICALLY ALTER THINGS!" Cresselia practically screamed. Mewtwo put his equipment back to wherever it came from, and began muttering to himself about how unfair it was that he couldn't splice.
"Great, now what are we going to do!" Cresselia said frantically, floating in circles. They were running out of options.
"KILL MEW!" Darkrai randomly screamed from the confines of the dog pile.
"NO!" Cresselia barked. "Mewtwo, any ideas!" Mewtwo paused. Then, he grinned. "…That DON'T involve dangerous experiments!" added the lunar swan
"…I've got nothing then…" Mewtwo said disdainfully.
"Mew, what about you!" Cresselia turned to the pink legendary in desperation. She heard a munching sound. Mew was happily eating.
"…What did you just eat?"
"A hamburger! A nice lady just gave it to me!"
Everyone instantly widened their eyes.
"…It sure was tasty!" Mew said, oblivious.
Cresselia: "YOU… JUST…"
Mewtwo: "ATE… A…"
"HAMBURGER!" Darkrai finished. Darkrai became so angry, that he burst out of the mound of over two hundred people and Pokemon in sheer blind rage.
"Mewtwo, kill Mew!" pointed Darkrai in rage.
"No!" Cresselia stepped in between the two.
"HE ATE THE HAMBURGER!" Darkrai protested.
"…Mewtwo, kill Mew." Cresselia agreed. Mewtwo grinned and flipped open his a knife and some test tubes. Just as Mewtwo was about to kill the pink five year old, Arceus' hologram popped up.
"Oh by the way, no killing Mew!" she said. The hologram vanished. Everyone rubbed their temples.
"Mewtwo, how much time?" Cresselia asked. Mewtwo was crazy good at math and science, being that he experimented on practically everything.
"Ten minutes." Mewtwo said after some minor calculations.
"Great… How on earth are we supposed to get a hamburger with no onions in less than ten minutes!" she said in exasperation.
"We have one shot." everyone turned to Darkrai "I have a plan, but whoever is the designated target could get killed..." Darkrai said ominously. Everyone looked at Mew, who wasn't paying attention at all.
"…Right then, Mew is the designated target." decided Darkrai. He leaned in closer for the other two to listen carefully.
"Here's the plan…"
-
LATER…
"Next." Malispite said. A figure in a dark trench coat came up next. He was very tall, and Malispite had to look up to see him. Malispite was about to ask his order, but paused, sensing something suspicious.
"…Waaaaiiiit a minute…" Malispite looked closely at the face of the figure. It was black, with white hair, and blue eyes and-
"Darkrai." Malispite deduced. He pulled off the trench coat, and sure enough, it was the dark type.
"UH… I'm not Darkrai! I'm his uh… Cousin!" Darkrai said desperately. Malispite smiled evilly.
"For shame, my mortal nemesis. I would have thought that you would have better plan than this." he said cruelly. Darkrai was undaunted, and instead grinned.
"I do.
MEW! NOW!" Darkrai ducked behind a condiment stand, and Mew popped down from the ceiling.
"What the-?" Malispite blurted out. Mew's finger glowed.
"Metronome!" he yelled. Instantly, Mew Exploded, incinerating anything within a two hundred foot radius to dust.
Except Malispite. He used Protect at the last second and was unharmed. The wall of light vanished, and the brown bat gleamed proudly.
"Hah!" he laughed, victorious.
"Mew! Do it again!" Darkrai yelled behind the condiment stand that was somehow still intact. Mews finger glowed, and Malispite shielded himself once more.
!
Mew Exploded once more, but again, Malispite was unharmed due to Protect.
"That attack won't work on me!" Malispite said. "Give up now!"
"I don't feel so good…" Mew said, bruises everywhere on his body.
"That means my plan is working! Do it again!" Mew tiredly held up his finger, and another blast shook the restaurant, but still had no effect on Malispite's Protect. When the dust cleared, Mew was on the floor, moaning. Darkrai, unharmed because the explosion never reached him (cuz he wuz behind the condiment stand) and went over to Mew.
"I salute you, fallen soldier." Darkrai bowed out of respect. Then, he glared at Malispite. "We will get that hamburger from you, Malispite!"
"Hah! You will never get past my defenses!" Malispite declared boldly. Malispite expected Darkrai to glare at him more, but instead, he smiled.
"Oh really?" Darkrai said smugly.
"I GOT IT!" screamed Cresselia from behind the Burger King counter. She zoomed past Malispite, making him spin, and kept going out of the restaurant to Arceus.
"WAIT- WTF?" Malispite said, so baffled that he used txt speech.
"Heh… My plan was that I would stall you by having Mew explode himself several times while Cresselia snuck up behind you and snagged the burger!" Darkrai crossed his arms in victory "This way, we get the burger, AND as bonus, Mew gets hurt!"
"Yep!" Mew said excitably, no visible injuries on his body. Darkrai and Malispite stared in confusion.
"Weren't you lying on the floor in pain three seconds ago!" Malispite asked.
"I used Recover!" Mew said.
"Damnit…" Darkrai cursed, "Ah well! So long loser!" Darkrai and Mew ran out of the restaurant in a hurry.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Malispite said furiously. Determined not to be outdone by his rival, he opened up his big black wings and zoomed after them. Because he was good at flying, Malispite caught up to them in no time at all.
"PURSUIT!" Malispite said, preparing to ram himself into Darkrai.
"Substitute!" Darkrai countered. He grabbed Mew, and used him as a shield to block himself from Malispite's attack. Malispite Headbutted Mew with darkness energy, and Mew was sent flying. Darkrai was unharmed.
"Ha!" Darkrai smirked, still running (floating?)
"That's not how you use Substitute!" Malispite pointed out.
"Yeah, but MY way causes Mew more pain!" Darkrai replied logically. He stopped. "You won't get to Cresselia! Dark Void!" Darkrai charged up his dark energy into a ball (heh, I said 'ball'), and projected dozens of darkness projectiles at the brown bat. Malispite used Protect, and was unharmed by Darkrai's attack.
"Zap Cannon!" Malispite aimed a concentrated ball of electrical force at Darkrai's vicinity. However Darkrai used Double Team, and it missed, hitting one of his clones instead. Darkrai's clones then fazed out, not leaving a single Darkrai there.
Malispite: "…"
Malispite: "…HE RAN AWAY!"
-
DARKRAI
Darkrai raced into the portal to the Hall of Origin just as it closed. He met up with Cresselia and Mewtwo and Mew, who were with his mother.
"The hamburger…?" he asked, out of breath.
"We delivered it to Arceus." Mewtwo pointed to God, happily eating the hamburger. Suddenly, Arceus' eyes shot open.
"THIS HAMBURGER HAS ONIONS ON IT!"
"DEAL WITH IT!" everyone said angrily "YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT WE HAD TO DO TO GET IT!" Reluctantly, Arceus consumed the rest of the Hamburger, which satisfied her stomach.
"Well… Good job!" Arceus congratulated, "Now that I've had my Hamburger, the world won't end!" She said cheerfully. Then, in a more serious tone, she added. "FOR NOW."
Everyone shuddered because the same thing would happen next year.
"By the way, Darkrai, you're grounded."
"WHAT! But why!" he asked.
"Because Celebi teleported me to the past, and it was YOU who rammed me instead of Palkia! You're punishment for both hitting me and lying to me shall be severe…"
"NO! PLEASE DON'T DESTROY MY BODY AND SCATTER THE REMAINS ACROSS THE INFINITE UNIVERSE!" Darkrai pleaded desperately.
"I'm going to do something FAR worse…" Arceus said coldly.
Arceus: "No videogames for a week."
Darkrai: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-
MEANWHILE WITH THE PLOT…
"…" "…so this is Destiny." "…" "The ultimate treasure… It will be mine…"
===========================================================
-Legendary PKMN Arc One: "Legend"-
===========================================================