I know I've been away for a while and I need to get quite a few stories running again, but I've had a really shitty few months and I wanted to do this first – so sorry, but I will be writing the others fairly soon. Enjoy!

1wildrose1 .. x

Rating: NC-17
Pairing (s): Cloud/Reno, Zack/Cloud, eventual Zack/Reno/Cloud
Disclaimer: I don't own the Final Fantasy franchise or any of the characters.
Summary: We all knew that one day it would get to him – he'd been through too much for it not to. But this? Cloud needs help, and there's only one person I can think of that can get through to him – I'll save you, Cloud, even if it means raising the dead. Yaoi

Warnings: Shounen-ai (Male/male relationships), Yaoi (Male/male sexual relationships – though there will be forewarning of the chapters that contain the explicit stuff) and mentions of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

Chapter One

He'd been holding it back for so long. No one noticed because so much was going on at once – Genesis, Sephiroth, Geostigma, Kadaj, Deepground, Omega; the battles just never stopped. We were so wrapped up in restoring our own lives after that, we didn't see him begin to come undone at the seams – not until it was too late...

"It is unlikely that his condition is permanent, but do not take it lightly." The doctor straightened from his crouched position in front of his vacant-looking patient. He turned towards the woman who had brought the man here and regarded her panicky expression carefully. "If his condition had deteriorated quickly and suddenly, I'd say it was caused by some kind of head trauma, but you say that it has happened gradually?"

The woman nodded numbly, biting the inside of her cheek. "Over years."

"Years? Why wasn't he admitted sooner?" The doctor frowned severely and cast a fresh eye over his patient, looking at the dark circles and waxy skin. "You surely saw how ill he was becoming?"

The woman winced and crossed her arms over her stomach defensively. "...I didn't realise – there was a lot going on." She closed the gap between herself and her friend and ran her fingers through his hair soothingly, making him turn his head in her direction with a confused look. "Don't you dare make me seem like I didn't care." While her voice remained soft and wounded, her eyes were challenging, daring him to blame her for her friend's state.

The doctor sighed and shook his head. "I wasn't implying that at all. Didn't he say something?" He found it hard to believe that someone whose health was deteriorating in such a way would remain silent.

The woman snorted and shook her head, her sudden amusement bordering on hysterical. "Don't you listen to the news? When they talk about the 'broody hero' they're pretty accurate." She sobered and crossed her arms again. "He thinks he's inconveniencing people if he talks about himself."

The doctor nodded and wrote something down on his clipboard. "That's pretty textbook if I'm honest with you. You see, all tests I've run have come back negative, so his condition cannot be medical." He handed the woman the piece of paper he had written on. "That's the number of a very good psychologist – the best in the city. I suggest you take him there and see if they can make sense of this. Are you financially able to support him or do you need a care plan arranged?"

Her jaw tensed and she nodded. "Thank you, but I can support him. I doubt he will talk to a shrink, but we can give it a go." She glanced down at her friend. "I hate talking about him as though he's not in the room." She crouched down and leaned in close so she could talk into his ear. "Did you hear any of that, Cloud? You're going to see someone that can help you."

The blond nodded and gazed blankly past her. "I didn't hear a lot, but I trust you." His voice was soft and child-like as he shaped his words carefully, trying to make them sound right without being able to hear them.

Turning back to the doctor, she waved the paper she was holding. "Is there anything else you can do?"

"I can give you mild sedatives to give him at night so he can sleep, but that's all at this point, I'm afraid." He wrote out a prescription and handed it over, wishing them the best as they left the surgery, the woman carefully guiding the man as they went.

XxXxXxXxXxX

"Are you okay with securing your seatbelt or do you need me to do it?" Tifa asked as she helped Cloud into her car, talking loudly.

He sighed and took his seat with her help, feeling along the side of his seat for the belt. "I'll do it." She pursed her lips and watched as he fumbled with the belt when he found it and clumsily tried to get it in the plug. "I've got to learn to do things on my own after all."

Tifa shook her head and closed his door, walking round to her own side. She started the car and headed for home. "The doctor said it's not permanent. Hopefully the psychiatrist will help you."

Cloud frowned and looked at her with glassy blue eyes. "Psychiatrist? I'm not crazy."

"No, you're not, but stress can do funny things to you and you've been under more stress over the years than anyone I know." She bit her lip and glanced over at him. "Though, I admit that I've never heard of it making anyone...you know..."

"Go blind and partially deaf? You can say it, Tifa." His voice was hollow. "I'm not stressed, anyway. I'm–"

"Don't you dare say that you're fine, Cloud Strife." Tifa snapped, pulling up behind a sleek black car outside Seventh Heaven – they had no driveway, but there was usually a spot outside to park. "I don't have time for you to try and let yourself get worse – I've already got enough on my plate taking care of the kids and running the bar without you letting yourself get ill enough to require me to be your carer too."

Cloud looked away, frowning. His silence grated on Tifa's already raw nerves. "Why couldn't you just speak up for once? We could have stopped this from happening if you had." Her words came out fast and harsh. "I don't know why you have to make things so damn hard, Cloud!" She finally stopped and clenched her eyes shut, reigning in her tears – okay, so maybe Cloud wasn't the only one who was stressed.

"I'm sorry." Tifa looked over at the tiny voice to see that Cloud had slunk down in his seat, looking away from her.

She rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Don't be. That's just who you are." She couldn't bring herself to apologise, but she squeezed his hand briefly before getting out of the car to lead him inside. "You've just got to stop bottling it up."

He said nothing in return, leaving Tifa with little doubt that he was not going to heed her. Choosing to ignore it, she unlocked the door and lead Cloud by the hand through the empty bar and up the stairs, following the sound of voices to the living room. She sat the blond down on his armchair, greeting her friends as she did.

"What are they going to do?" Someone asked. It took Cloud a moment to recognise the speaker as Yuffie due to the dull tone of her usually chirpy voice. "Do they even know why it happened?"

Tifa accepted the cup of tea that Reeve offered her, twitching her lips in slight amusement. "I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to use my kitchen."

The engineer chuckled, though it sounded forced, and shrugged. "You know me."

Tifa nodded and answered Yuffie's question. "It's not medical – the doctor said that it's stress induced."

"Stress? We haven't had anybody threatening the world in nearly two years." Barret frowned and regarded Cloud's blank face. "You sure this doctor knew what he was talking about?"

Tifa nodded. "I'm sure – he said that it was likely to be old stress due to the fact that this was gradual. It makes sense, I guess. He's been through so much – more than we know, I think." She watched as Cloud slowly brought his own tea to his lips and drank with so much concentration that he didn't seem to hear what they were saying. "I'm taking him to a shrink – maybe if he actually talks through it he'll get better, or at least he'll get some closure."

"What, so it's in the kid's head?" Cid asked, mumbling around the toothpick he'd put between his teeth as a replacement for a cigarette, mindful of Tifa's rules about not smoking in her house.

"Not really, but the mess in his head needs to be sorted out before he can get better." Tifa felt like she was repeating the same things over and over, but it had been a long day and she guessed her patience was shot. "Let's just make dinner and talk about this tomorrow."

The rest of them agreed, seeing how tired she was. Yuffie and Reeve helped her prepare dinner while Barret, Cid and Vincent – who had remained a silent observer until then – kept Cloud company, which the blond was grateful for. He knew the men wouldn't fuss over him and, while he would ordinarily want to be alone, the sheer nothingness of being blind made him feel sick and uneasy when he was on his own.

"Where are the kids?" Cloud asked, having not heard their voices.

"They're staying over their friend's houses tonight." That voice was Barret, Cloud guessed.

"Why? They know what's going on."

"Um..." Barret sounded a little hesitant.

"What?" Cloud frowned, looking at where he guessed his friend would be. "What's the matter?"

"I informed Reno of the Turks of your situation." Vincent's smooth voice explained, neutral as usual.

"Okay, so what's the big deal?" Cloud and Reno had become friends after everything had settled down – he'd come to the bar with his Turk friends and made amends with him in his own way by drinking him under the table. Barret hadn't warmed to the fiery redhead as much as Cloud had, but he wasn't opposed to him being around Marlene as long as no Shinra business was discussed in front of her.

"He's bringing President Shinra." Barret mumbled, barely loud enough for Cloud to hear.

"He's bringing...?" Cloud shook his head, hoping he had heard wrong. "No...why would he do that?"

"Can't be sure what that guy's thinkin'," Cid shook his head and tapped his toothpick against his teeth. "but they'll be over soon."

Yes, he now funded the WRO and helped as much as he could to cleanse the world of the repercussions of Shinra's previous actions and yes, he was no longer the ruthless man that had basically become dictator of the old world through the power his company gifted him. But, in Cloud's head, Rufus Shinra was still the desperate man of four years ago who had ordered the execution of his friends to appease the public; he was still the man who stepped aside and allowed Hojo to continue his work despite the atrocities that the madman had already committed; the man that had stared through the window of the top floor office of the Shinra building at his father's dead and bloodied body with what Cloud swore to this day was a smile.

"Perhaps he is concerned for you?" Vincent's deep voice drifted through his reverie, making Cloud smirk in irony.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Should I be?" The ex-Turk's tone didn't change, indicating that he was not joking - though, in Vincent's case, it probably didn't mean anything, judging by his typical stoic nature.

Cloud shrugged and lifted his cup of tea to his lips, grimacing when the now-cold liquid assaulted his taste buds. "I just can't imagine him being concerned for me of all people."

"You would be surprised at how much a person can hide about their true nature." Cloud's cup was taken from his fingers and replaced with a short, round glass. The blond tilted his head in a general direction in thanks, thinking about what Vincent had said. He supposed that if anyone knew anything about hiding their true nature, it was the illustrious 'vampire', as he was comically known within their group. He made it known to the world that he was cold and unflappable, yet in reality he was kind to those he considered friends and fiercely loyal.

"I guess..." Cloud raised the cold glass to his lips, pausing to voice a final complaint. "I still don't get why he's coming here, though." His boyish face twisted at the sharpness of the drink he had been given, prompting the tension in the room to break, giving way to amused chuckles at his reaction. "Jeez! Will you at least warn me before you start feeding me whiskey?"

"Now that woulda been too easy, now wouldn' it?" Cid's distorted voice was even harder to understand past his chuckles. "Don't you be thinkin' that you're gonna be treated like a victim, Strife – this is a grand opportunity to be messing with you."

"Yeah, man – Tifa might be babyin' you, but we ain't." Barret's deep voice reciprocated.

Cloud made a good show of grumbling in annoyance, but in reality he was grateful for the gesture. They knew him well, it seemed. He went to reach out to find the coffee table so he could discard his glass on it before stopping himself, feeling that he deserved at least one glass of the hard stuff to calm his nerves after the day he'd had. "How much is in here?"

"Whack it back and find out." Barret suggested, pressing a button on the remote control to turn the T.V. on.

Cloud shrugged and swirled the glass a little, finding that the glass was too light to be full. "Bottoms up." He murmured before downing the whiskey like a shot, revelling in the burn as it slid down his throat.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Aquamarine eyes scanned the horizon again – one time of many over the last twenty minutes – their owner's mind reeling at the sight which he had witnessed in the rear-view mirror a while before. Cloud Strife, the hero and saviour of the planet twice over, being led into Seventh Heaven like an invalid by the woman he lived with. He had been told that something was up with the blond and that it could be serious, but needing help to make the short distance between the car and the front door? Reno never would have guessed it was that bad. He supposed that the fighter had given him the impression that he was too strong for that.

Glancing over his shoulder at his boss, he raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Yo, how long we gonna be sitting here, sir?" He didn't say out loud, but he was anxious to see if his friend was alright and they had been sitting in his parked car for long enough in his opinion. Of course, saying as much to Rufus would be completely unprofessional, let alone out of character for a Turk.

President Shinra's cold grey eyes focussed on his employee in the front seat of the car, having opted to travel to Edge in Reno's personal vehicle rather than use a company limo so that he wouldn't impose on Strife and his friends more than necessary during his visit. "Just long enough to allow Strife to settle, which I suppose he has by now. Come, Reno – let us make our presence known."

Just a taster chapter to see how this will be received – hope you liked it .. x