Deserving
A Blackwater Fanfiction

Summary: She didn't deserve him and he didn't deserve to be hurt constantly. But that didn't stop him from hurting her, too. Mentions of Jacob/Bella and unrequited Jacob/Leah with a small dash of Sam/Leah. Rated T for language.

Disclaimer: I am not the author any of the following stories. None of the authors are the owner of Twilight. I'm just introducing the best Blackwater stories to fellow fans.

He's been gone for a few weeks now, but he's still there every time she phases. She's pretty sure he hasn't phased back at all, and she starts to think that that really can't be healthy. He can hear her concern, but he doesn't care. He can only think about her and how she hurt him and what she's doing and when she's going to become one of them and frankly, Leah is sick of it. Eventually, she learns to tune him out. His thoughts running through her head get fuzzy and distort into background noise. So surprise hits her like a ton of bricks at something Embry says late one morning while on patrol.

'You're coming back?'

Her heart gives a little leap, barely noticeable, but enough to confuse her. Jacob is confirming what Embry said and they are too preoccupied with his homecoming to feel her reaction before she phases back. She starts untying her dirty sundress from her leg and fumbles with the knot. You're just happy he's coming back so everyone can go back to normal and stop worrying. Even in her head, it doesn't sound very convincing.

Hours later, she's sitting on Billy's front step, the rest of the pack scattered across his yard, waiting. Brady, Collin, and Seth had gotten bored enough to break out a battered Monopoly game. They'd asked her to join in, but she said she would rather just watch them kick Quil and Jared's asses, and proceeded to bury herself in her thoughts.

When Jacob finally showed up at dusk, covered in dirt, with his hair a greasy, matted mess, she felt a lump form in her throat. He nearly tripped over himself, unused to walking on just two legs, as he made his way over to his father. Hugs were passed around and the air filled with shouts of missing you and don't you ever leave like that again, and then all fell silent. Jacob ducked into the house and reappeared a few minutes later, having sloppily rinsed off most of the dirt and wearing a clean set of clothes. He held his car keys dangling in one hand. Leah gasped as her heart plummeted down into her stomach.

"No," she said, her voice laced with disbelief. "No way. You're not—you can't—you can't go back to her!" He didn't say anything, just pressed his lips into a thin line and started to walk towards the garage. She stepped in front of him and shoved him backwards, hot tears welling up in her eyes. "She doesn't deserve you, Jake. She treated you like shit, you can't fucking go back to her. You deserve better!" The last word hung in the air, speaking everything that went unsaid; you deserve me. I deserve you. I know what it's like, you need me and I need you. I need you.

He looked to the ground, not meeting her eyes. He quietly stepped around her and as she heard the car door shut and the engine start, she felt the tears start to flow over.

"She doesn't deserve him," she mumbled, closing her eyes. "She doesn't."

"You're right." Sam laid a warm hand on her shoulder. "But she's who he wants. She's who he loves. And everyone deserves to be with the person they love."

Her voice was strangled and thick with sobs as she choked her words out. "Everyone but me."

A note by someone that is not the author, or simply a NTAN: This fanfiction was written by aldriena(dot)livejournal(dot)com. The direct links to all the storis and drabbles can be located on my profile.

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