Disclaimer: I'm not J. K Rowling and I claim no ownership for any of her characters or books.

Even though I trying hard to use lowercase in this free verse, I am not e.e cummings either. :P

there isn't much use for pride,
if it is going to get you killed.
there isn't much use for loyalty,
if it is going to get you killed.

hiding in the shadow of greatness,
struggling to rise from behind it.
ambition struggling with self-preservation.
one day, one day, you'll see which one wins out.

endure the patronising,
the casual slights against your weakness.
one day, one day, they'll see
who you really are.

you belong, you don't belong.
revel in the power their friendship gives you.
one day, one day, you are not sure they'll like you
if they know.

you know who you truly are.
a rat.
even in filth and death, even if he has to eat human flesh,
a rat survives.

guilt, shame, wreck you.
but you can't change who you are.
you regret what has been done,
but you know you would have done it again.
because you can't change who you are.
one day, one day, you'll be strong and brave and powerful.

one day, one day, you look into the green eyes of a powerful man,
you had begged him for mercy,
but you know you are going to kill him even after he saved your life.
you are a rat.
even in filth and death, even when if he eats human flesh,
he survives.

"you are going to kill me? after I saved your life?"

it relieves you.
it horrifies you.
you are capable of mercy.
you are capable of gratitude.
even in filth and death, even when he ate human flesh.

those green eyes that were surely Death's
demanded his debt.

and the Dark Lord's gift turned around, strangling you.
choking off your wind, you realizes it was a muzzle to
ensure your loyalty.
Cruel and fitting retribution,
for you who was loyal to none but his own life.

"you owe me, Wormtail!"

Author's Note : The use of second person AND third person is to show disassociation. It is easier living with guilt and cowardice when it is compartmentalized. :) I wrote this as a therapy for bad mood, so I don't expect it to be great, but reviews are always welcome!
The letters in bold are taken from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows which belongs to J.K Rowling, who isn't , of course, me.

I did intend to use Lord Voldemort's chilling "May your loyalty never waver again, Wormtail" but I couldn't find a stanza where I can use it appropriately.