Zim for President

Chapter 11: revenge of the Dubstep Fish

After having successfully escaped the Super Secret Prison of Super Secret Secrecy thanks to his genius and totally thought-out plan to violently throw his only present ally at the bars of his cage, Zim had headed back to his base. Upon arrival, he was surprised to hear extremely loud dubstep coming from the kitchen. Curious, he went to investigate only to find Gir still in his dragon suit full of bullet holes dancing next to a fishy apparition. Apparently, Gir had somehow escaped on his own after he was attacked by a raging security mob. But what was with the fishy apparition and ARGH, THAT DUBSTEP HURT HIS HEAD SO MUCH.

"Gir! Explain this horrible noise at once!" He ordered.

"WWWEEOOOOO! WUBWUBWUBWUBWUB!" Gir screeched, continuing to rave to the loud dubstep along with the weird ghost-fish. Said ghost-fish was now levitating towards Zim.

"I am here for vengeance, wub wub." The fishy ghost said. "yoooouuu killeeeddd mmmeeeee….wubwub…" it announced more spookily, flailing its flippers in an attempt to look creepy.

"I did NO SUCH THING." Zim denied. "Now get your brain-crushing spoon-music out of my base!"

"I must be aveeeennngeddd, wub wub…AVEEENNGEEDDD! FOR I AM THE GHOST OF BAD DUBSTEP PAST!" The fish yelled spookily before disappearing in an explosion of purple goo. Unfortunately, the loud dubstep remained.

"URGH….I can't plot world domination within hearing range of this horrid noise….GIR, WE'RE LEAVING!"

"'KAY!"

3 minutes later, Zim and Gir found themselves far away from the base, surrounded by humans as usual. Which was slightly better than loud dubstep, but not by much. Many of them were frothing at the mouth, and some were not. But frothing at the mouth or not frothing at the mouth, the humans…..were doing stuff. Most disturbing stuff. Now able to think clearly away from the awful racket, Zim began plotting as usual. Winning the humans over from Mike would be no easy feat, after all. He would need a masterfully orchestrated plot of brilliance and pure genius in order to beat that crafty headless chicken. But what would work…..?

wubwubwub….

"What was that?" Zim asked aloud. He looked around suspiciously, his antennae twitching under his wig. He swore he'd just heard the faint sound of crappy dubstep. He silently prayed that the dubstep-fish-ghost wasn't following them. Something like that could be a HUGE setback for Zim's MIGHTY PLANS.

"WUB, WUB, WUB. I HAUNT THEE, MURDERER." Zim heard from somewhere nearby.

"SHOW YOURSELF, WATER TEATRAY!" he yelled into the crowd, some people giving him funny looks.

"I HAUUNNTT THEEEE, WUB WUB…." The Dubstep fish's voice echoed ominously. Zim was once again left wondering what on Irk happened. He'd happened to have encountered some sort of ghostly being which he'd killed less than 24 earth-hours ago. On Irk this was sometimes an occurrence; Irken scientographers would often attempt to resurrect deceased creatures through the practice of ectobiology, but the test subjects ended up as either a pile of gloop, or a transparent levitating entity; neither of which were much use. Such beings were usually put on eternal cleaning duty to make up for their miserable and pointless existence.

Whatever the case, he had to find a way of disposing of this ghost before it interfered too much with his plans.

Zim found himself heading towards skool. Although he had no real obligation to go there anymore, it was the only place he could think of with a dark enough aura to keep the fish-ghost at bay. Well, except for the room with a moose, but accessing that particular dimension would require access to a suitable wormhole, and there were none in close enough proximity. Besides, Zim wanted nothing more to do with that awful, awful place. Annoyingly enough, though, the ghost of the Dubstep Fish seemed capable of haunting him even amongst the most cursed of cursed ground. So now Zim was stuck in skool AND exposed to the constant headache that was the foul spoon-music being spewed by the ghostly water teatray that was irritating him more and more by the second, refusing him the right to keep even the smallest of thoughts in his head without losing it to the CONSTANT INFERNAL RACKET THAT EARTH-HUMANS PASSED OFF AS MUSIC.

"AAARGH! Shut UP, FISH-MONSTER! Zim has no time for your haunting! BE LEAVING WITH YOU!" He screeched very loudly, standing up and flipping out in front of the whole class.

"Zim…..who are you talking to?" Dib asked, confused about his arch-rival suddenly losing it and talking to himself with no apparent explanation. The rest of the class seemed too freaked out to say anything.

"Do you not SEE IT, DIB-MONSTER? THE DUBSTEP FISH SHALL HAUNT US ALL! LOOK at it! JUST FLOATING RIGHT THERE! WAVING ITS LIMB-APPENDAGES AND SPEWING VILE SONIC FILTH! GET IT AWAY! FRY IT IN DISGUSTING EARTH-GREASE LKE THE PUTRID BRAIN-MELTING GARBAGE IT IS!" Zim ranted, flailing his arms insanely. The other kids were all generally afraid by now, some of them making a quick escape through the window. One that was still there, however, put his hand up nervously.

"Um… Miss Bitters?" He asked.

"What." The demonic teacher said, materialising out of a dark corner in the wall.

"Can we use this month's crazy card now?"

"Are you sure it's necessary?" Miss Bitters asked. The random kid looked back at Zim, who was now trying to swat an imaginary Dubstep Fish with a frying pan that he'd somehow procured.

"….pretty sure." The child decided. But before Miss Bitters had even had time to call the Crazy House, Zim suddenly ran out of the door, screaming. His screams could be heard for about another minute before he'd cleared off skool property altogether. Miss bitters looked on uncaringly.

"Well, he's someone else's nightmare for now…." She said before disappearing back into the shadows, accompanied by demonic hissing and tentacles.

Meanwhile….

A certain headless chicken was fuming over Zim's escape, munching turkey legs in a most violent manner. He was so angry he could eat someone's hands clean off. In fact, this sounded like a pretty good idea to Mike right about now, so he went ahead and did it, earning a terrified screech from his now handless bodyguard. Speaking of eating hands, Mike decided he'd take out his anger by having his squad of llamas accompany him to his next speech. YES, ALL WHO OPPOSED HIM WOULD LOSE THEIR HANDS IN A MOST VIOLENT MANNER. That would take his mind of the escaped green kid for a while. Hopefully. If not, then there were still a good few mutant hobos that the world could do without. Their brains would be delicious. Some of their brains contained eyeballs, slime and crayons, but they'd still be better than the crappy turkey legs he kept buying.

"GAH! IT'S INJECTING LOUD DUBSTTEP INTO MY ANTENNAE! GET IT OFF! AAARRGGHH!" And so on. The Ghost of the Dubstep Fish was ever-haunting and tormenting Zim, who was now trying to get the damn earthbeast off his superior head. "YOUUU SNIVELLING PILE OF DOOKIE! GET OFF ZIM'S HEAD RIGHT NOW!"

"Not until you repent,wub wub." The Dubstep fish replied.

"NEVER!" Zim screeched over the horrid migraine of noise that was being blasted through his brain. "YOU SICKEN ME WITH YOUR DISTASTE! LEAVE THIS WORLD, UNWORTHY LUMP OF FISHY ECTOPLASM!"

"Well, wub wub. I see that there's no reasoning with you wub wub. I'll just have to deploy my ULTRA MEGA SUPER-CHARGED SONIC EARSPLITTING SKRILLEX BEAM OF DESTRUCTION!" The fish yelled, a very noisy-looking ball of energy cumulating around its gills.

"NOOOOOO!" Zim screeched, trying to shield his antennae from the onslaught of brain-bursting pure Dubstep energy. The dubstep fish grinned as it fired its death-beam, huge vibrations shattering all windows in the area and many car alarms going off for no reason, just before the entire world exploded in a very loud and dubsteppy manner.

MORAL: DON'T KILL DUBSTEP FISH, OR THEY'LL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU LIKE A PERMANENT MIGRAINE.

STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS.

AND DON'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING THAT COULD POTENTIALLY KILL BRAIN CELLS, CAUSE TUMOURS OR MAKE SMALL CREATURES SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST. *Puts headphones on and listens to Bangarang on full volume*

STAY TUNED FOR SOMETHING THAT MY BRAIN DIDN'T JUST VOMIT UP IN FIVE SECONDS OUT OF BOREDOM.

LATERZ.