Hermione Granger hated hormones.

They were nasty little buggers, laying dormant for so many years, waiting patiently for the moment to strike. Hermione had seen the effects of hormones on her classmates but had thought - oh, how naive she had been! - that she had managed to escape unscathed.

She knew better now. She knew that her hormones had been plotting for eighteen years, waiting for the threat of war and death and destruction to be at its finest before emerging, triumphant, to coat her veins with liquid lust.

Hermione had found this small room around fifth year. She had warded it as best as she could, and now it was the one place where she could be alone. Of course, there were many places to be alone in a droughty castle over the winter holidays. The Weasleys had invited her over but Hermione had refused - she did not want to spend any more time than usual with that horrid Ronald Weasley.

Her hormones had struck somewhere around Christmas, where she had awoken in her bed, flushed and panting, to find her knickers soaking wet and the faintest trace of her dream lingering in her head - a dream that had consisted of her doing unspeakable things with a nameless man.

Since then, her hormones had decided to take revenge on her for every mean remark she'd made over the years about teenagers acting foolish on account of them. She would be hit by lust and emotion in the middle of the day, during the most ridiculous things. Hell, just yesterday at supper, Hermione had been hit by an insatiable curiosity about whether Severus Snape was as long as his nose suggested!

It was those same hormones that had driven Hermione to her secret room on December 31. Ever the overachiever, she had decided to make herself a list of New Years Resolutions before the next year officially began. To her horror, she had been absentmindedly jotting down ideas when her hand had written: Complete a fuck-list.

A fuck-list? Hermione blushed to her roots as she prepared to scratch out the suggestion. Fuck-lists were things that Ginny and Lavender (the bitch) and Parvati made late at night, giggling as the debated about boys they wanted to screw. Hermione had never participated in such going-ons, for good reasons. She wasn't a wanton scarlet woman, she was a woman with morals, a woman -

who needs to get fucked. Hard.

"Shut up!" Hermione cried hopelessly as the nasty voice inside of her chuckled. This voice would be her undoing. This voice almost caused her to ask Cormac McLaggen if he rode girls as well as he rode brooms before Hermione managed to shut the voice down. It was preposterous.

You might as well make a list, the voice said. You can always throw it away. Be a girl for once!

"I am a girl," Hermione grouched.

The voice laughed. Not hardly, it said slyly.

Hermione grumbled and avoided the issue for the next thirty minutes, but all of her other resolutions - keep room clean, reorganize bookshelves, write a novel - seemed boring and prudish in comparison.

"Fine," Hermione huffed, taking a new sheet of parchment. "But this is going in the trash as soon as I'm done!"

My Fuck-List, Hermione wrote at the top of the page, her cheeks burning. Her hormones cheered.

Now for her dilemma: who to put on it?

Her first couple were Muggle celebrities, just to be safe. Nobody could blame her over lusting over Brad Pitt or Jude Law. It was after she wrote Tom Felton that she began thinking about people at her school.

Sterling Brooks was the current heart-throb of the school, and Hermione had always harbored a secret crush on Seamus Finnegan. Once she was started, it was hard to stop, and she had soon filled the page with names.

Hermione had absentmindedly written Draco before she realized exactly what she was doing and scribbled it out.

Draco Malfoy was never going to be on her Fuck-List. Ever. In a million years.

Feeling a bit disgruntled at herself, Hermione stuffed the letter in her pocket and made her way out of the room. It was nearly time for New Years Supper, always a great feast to attend.

Naturally, it was just her luck that she arrived late and had to sit next to the aforementioned Malfoy. Her hormones cheered inside of her, but Hermione ignored them resolutely.

"Hello, Granger," he said, much to her surprise.

"Er, hello, Malfoy," she replied a bit stiffly. She turned away from him to the girl on her other side - Mary something, sending him the clear message that they weren't going to have a friendly chat or anything during supper.

However, half way through supper, she changed her mind. He was just so quiet, damn him, that the part of her heart that fought for house elves felt compelled to talk to him. Even if he was the scum of the Earth.

"Have any New Years Resolutions, Malfoy?" Hermione asked abruptly as dessert was served.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes," he said simply, not offering any other information.

Hermione huffed. He was quite annoying. "And?"

"And, I know you were only trying to make polite conversation," Malfoy drawled, sending her a smirk. Her cheeks flushed. "Excuse me if I don't tell you my resolution."

"No," Hermione protested, embarrassed. "I do want to know."

Malfoy shrugged. "What's yours?"

Her cheeks flamed as she thought of the Fuck-List sitting crumpled in her pocket. "Er, write a novel," she said, avoiding his eyes.

Malfoy, damn him, obviously caught her reluctance. "Tell me, Granger, why the blush?" He pinned her under his gaze and Hermione's hormones noticed how beautiful his grey eyes were. "A novel…hmm…any chance this novel is, shall we say, a racy novel?"

"No it is not!" Hermione said, certain she was dying of heat. As if she'd ever write a - a - a racy novel!

He shrugged, unconcerned. "Why are you blushing, then? I mean, we all know you get off on reading books, Granger, but writing a novel isn't cause for embarrassment."

"It's nothing."

He continued as if he hadn't heard. Hermione was regretting speaking to him at all. "Unless you were lying to me, in which case I am quite curious. What Is Hermione Granger's resolution?"

Her hand slid to cup her pocket, a move Draco's keen eyes picked up on. "It's nothing," she said hastily. She glanced around her and noticed that people were leaving. "Happy New Year, Malfoy," Hermione blurted out and fled.

Draco finished his treacle tart and followed her.

"Come on, Granger," he coaxed. "You can tell me. What sordid resolution did you make?"

"Go away, Malfoy!" Hermione cried, hurrying to get into her little room.

He didn't leave, not that she'd expected him to. "What are you so embarrassed about? Maybe it's in that parchment sticking out of your pocket, hmm?"

She squeaked and, as he'd thought she would, pulled the parchment out to clutch it more securely in her hand. "Listen to me, Malfoy," she said, not bothering to turn around. "If you don't leave me alone right now I'll get you in trouble for harassment!"

He chuckled. "Okay," he agreed. "You do that. First…accio parchment!"

Hermione, who had just opened the door to her little room, gasped and tried to grab on to her parchment. It didn't work, and she cried out as he plucked it out of the air.

"My Fuck List," he read out, a smirk sliding over his handsome features. He looked at her and she wanted to die from embarrassment. "My, my, Granger, who would have thought?"

"You've had your fun," she called out, drawing her wand. "Now give it back."

"I don't think I shall, thanks," Malfoy drawled. He scanned the list, and she thanked Merlin she'd scratched out his name earlier. He sauntered towards her and she held the doorknob of her room, ready to dive in. "Why, Granger, I can't help but notice that I'm not on the list."

"I wouldn't sleep with you," Hermione said, injecting as much venom as she could into her voice.

He dropped the paper to the floor as he advanced on her. "Oh, but Granger, you wouldn't have to sleep with me."

"G-go away." She jabbed her wand at his chest but he only leaned over her and plucked it out of her suddenly weak grasp. She blamed the damn hormones.

"Oh, but I don't think you want me to," he whispered, and he was so close to her that she could smell his spicy cologne. How had I never noticed how attractive he is? Hermione thought dazedly, and it was unclear whether it was the voice or her that thought it. "In fact, I think the scribble on the bottom of the page was my name."

"You're wrong."

He reached out and cupped her face. "I'm never wrong," he told her arrogantly. She opened her mouth to argue when he took the opportunity to swoop in and kiss her.

Since her mouth was open, she had no guard for his tongue sliding against hers. The kiss was instantly enflamed, and Hermione couldn't help but respond. She slid her tongue against his and he groaned into her mouth. "Fuck, Granger," he said, pulling back to smile crookedly at her. "You're just full of surprises today."

He kissed her again before she could respond, her back pressed against the solid door. One of his hands was on her cheek, and the other was next to her head. His body towered over hers, his hard, lean self pressing into her curves.

She felt intoxicated, drunk by his presence. Her hormones were having a fucking party, but she didn't care - all she was aware of was his hard muscles underneath her eager hands and the equally hard length pressing into her thigh. She shifted against his erection and he groaned, husky and deep, into her ear. "Was I right, love?" Draco whispered, his voice assured. "Was it my name at the bottom of the page?"

Instead of answering, she pulled him into her and hooked her arms around his neck, playing with his hair. He chuckled darkly and placed his hands underneath her hips, pushing upwards until she got the picture and wrapped her legs around his waist. The position put his erection right into her pussy, and she wantonly ground against it as they kissed.

"Malfoy," Hermione gasped, tilting her head back.

He smirked at her. "Yes, love?" He mumbled this as he pressed his lips to her collarbone.

"Keep going."

"As you wish," he said in delight. To her surprise, he let her slide down the wall until her feet supported herself. He laughed at the expression of confusion on her face. "As much as I want to keep going, love, I don't fancy getting caught by Filch."

She nodded breathlessly and fumbled to open the door. She forgot completely about her Fuck-List, which Draco fugitively slid into his pocket. The two of them tumbled into the small room and Draco pressed against the door on the other side, too eager to make it to the sofa in the middle of the room.

"Take your shirt off," Hermione ordered, pulling at his shirt.

He smirked lazily. "Ah, getting bossy, are we?" He took a slight step back. "I'm afraid that I'm in charge."

"Take your shirt off," Hermione repeated forcefully. She was used to getting her way with Ron and Harry.

He was used to getting his way with the world. He shook his head at her and said, "Love, you can't boss me around."

She protested, but he simply kissed her again and she felt her inhibitions dissolving. She didn't argue as he unbuttoned her jeans, and when he stepped back again and told her to strip, she did as she was told.

Draco almost moaned as she followed orders, submissive due to her lust. She pulled off her shirt and, blushing, unstrapped her bra and let it fall to the floor. She pushed off her jeans but left her panties on.

Draco didn't care. He was too busy staring at her tits. He pulled off his own shirt and dropped his jeans before scooping her up in his arms and sitting on the couch.

"You have fucking amazing tits, love," he told her breathlessly as she squirmed in his lap. He brought his hands up to play with her tits, and she closed her eyes in pleasure. Hermione felt something warm and wet on her nipple and she shrieked in surprise, crying out again in the next second as Draco bit on her nipple in punishment.

Hermione recognized in the back of her mind that she was mumbling something along the lines of "Please, Draco, I need you, I want you, please," but she didn't focus on it. She was too busy reveling in the sensations he was giving her.

She ground against his lap and he groaned loudly, taking his mouth off her breasts. "Fuck, Hermione," Draco whispered. "Fuck, I'm so hard."

She ground against him again, liking how he hissed in pleasure. "Do you like that?"

"Yeah," he said fervently. "Shit, I feel like I'm about to come." She slid off of his lap and he groaned loudly. Hermione glanced up - had she hurt him? He shook his head and explained, "Seeing you in your knees in front of me - holy Merlin, love."

She smiled wickedly and tugged down his boxers. His erection sprang out, hard and curving and weeping. Curiously, she ran her finger on its tip and collected the salty drop sitting there before tasting it.

"Fuck," Draco muttered. "Shit-fuck-holy-Merlin's-testicles. Have you ever sucked off a guy, Granger? Ever had his cock in your mouth?"

She shook her head, blushing at his words. They were making her wet, wetter than she would have thought possible, wetter than her dream.

He pushed gently on her head and she knew what he wanted, what he didn't want to say. She bent her head and kissed the top of his cock in an open-mouthed kiss and he positively moaned in pleasure.

"Oh, that's right, baby," Draco said encouragingly as her head bobbed over his cock. "Shit, who would have thought that prissy little Granger was secretly just a cock-sucking whore waiting to be let loose?"

Instead of making her upset, his words enflamed her and she moaned, the vibrations doing delicious things to his cock. She liked it when he spoke dirty to her, she decided, she liked it quite a lot.

He pushed her head off of his cock and said hoarsely, "I'll come if you keep this up, Granger, and I don't want to come just yet."

She climbed back on his lap and resumed grinding against him, but stopped as she felt something foreign wipe her folds.

It was his finger.

It was her turn to moan as he slid a finger inside of her and then another, pumping them back and forth, her wetness making her pussy slick. He slid off the sofa and let her sit there, moaning, as he took off her panties with the other hand.

When he put his mouth on her, she saw stars. Colorful stars. Stars of every shape and size. She let out a shriek as he used his tongue, grinding against his mouth and fingers. She was soclose -

When she came, those stars exploded into fireworks and all she could hear was her own frenzied breathing.

She barely had time to recover as he pulled her on the floor. "I'm going to fuck you," he whispered huskily. "I'm going to fuck you on the floor, and then I'm going to sit on the sofa as you bounce on my cock. Do you want that?"

His words were making her hot all over. "Yes," she whimpered, "Yes, Draco, I need that."

"Tell me."

She started talking, babbling, trying to explain the need that was coursing through her. "I need your cock, I need you, I need you to fuck me, Draco," she got out. He sucked in a breath and the next thing she knew he had lifted her hips, she had wrapped her legs around him, and his cock was sliding deep into her.

Ron had taken her virginity about a month ago, but it had felt nothing like this - this craving, this itch that could only be satisfied by him. "Harder," she cried, and he obliged, thrusting deep into her. Her back was sliding on the floor but she didn't care. She was raising her hips to meet each thrust and he was pumping into her, hard and fast and deep, and it felt ohsogood…

Draco groaned as her legs wrapped tight around him and her hips rose to meet hers. He'd been thinking about Hermione Granger for months, maybe even years, and he had her underneath him, gasping his name in that sexy voice, all "Harder, Draco, faster, please, fuck me!"

Fuck her did, and he thrust into her hard until her pussy clenched around him in orgasm. He managed to stave off his own orgasm by counting by threes, and when she recovered he slid out of her and sat on the couch. "Come on, Granger," he said, grasping his cock and sliding his palm against it. She stared at him jerking off with wide, lustful eyes. "You've orgasmed twice and I haven't come at all."

She settled herself on his lap and slid into him, and when she began bouncing he felt as if he would explode. If he looked down, he could see his cock sliding into her drippy pussy. Her tits were bouncing in his fact and her head was thrown back in ecstasy and it was everything he wanted, everything he had hoped for.

The two of them fucked hard and long, Hermione riding his cock as he moaned and spluttered and struggled to keep it together. It was when she stopped and turned around - on his fucking cock - to ride him facing the other way that he couldn't hold it together. He came hard, harder than he'd ever come before, and from the sound of her cries he knew she was coming too.

Spent, the two of them collapsed naked and sweaty on her couch. She kissed him sweetly, nibbling on his lower lip, and he slid his hands to cup her bum. "It was you," she whispered, pulling away. "On my parchment."

He smirked at that. "I know."

"Prat."

He kissed her again, long and slow and deep, before saying, "It was you, you know."

She kissed his jaw before murmuring, "What was?"

"My New Years Resolution."

She pulled away and frowned at him. "What, to seduce me?"

He grinned at her. "Easy, tiger," he said, playing with the ends of her hair. "No. I told myself that I'd have a conversation with you tonight. A civil conversation, and my New Years Resolution was to make you stop hating me." Hermione was close to letting an 'aww' escape her lips when he smirked roguishly and said, "Seducing you was just a bonus."

She laughed and said, "Well, I no longer hate you."

"Good."

"You'll have to make a new New Years Resolution."

"I can think of a few." He cocked his head and looked at her. "What about you? The rest of your 'Fuck-List'?"

All she could focus on was the expletive dropping from his lips. She didn't think he would be able to say the word without her thinking of the fucking they had just done. "What about it?"

"Aren't you going to complete it?"

She considered it for half a second. "Nah, it was a joke," she said, kissing him lightly. "The one I actually wanted to fuck wasn't even on the list, remember?"

"True," he said, amused. "Maybe you should name it the 'Un-Fuck-List.'"

"Maybe you should stop saying that word."

He grinned. "What, fuck?"

Hermione Granger never thought a swear word would turn her on. She nodded, cheeks flushing.

He leaned in close. "Fucking no," he said huskily. "I'm going to fucking keep saying fuck, understand?"

She moaned.

"Is this turning you on?" Draco asked in astonishment. He suddenly grinned devilishly. "Is hearing me say 'fuck' reminding you of the fucking we just did, love?"

"Draco…" Hermione moaned, knowing that she was wet and knowing that he could feel her wetness on his cock…which was currently stirring.

"I think you are getting turned on by this, Hermione," Draco said smugly. He kissed her roughly. "Get fucking used to it because I'm going to be fucking you for quite a while."

"Again?" Hermione asked, surprised that his cock was already getting hard.

He smirked. "Give me a fucking second or two," he teased, and she swatted him. The way his voice caressed the syllables of the word…shit. "First you have to tell me what hearing me say 'fuck' does to you, love."

She ground slowly against his stiffening cock. "Feel that, Draco?" Hermione moaned in his ear. "Feel how wet I am? That's what hearing you say 'fuck' does to me."

"Fuck," Draco said, before looking down at his cock. "I think I have a new favorite word."

She laughed, which did interesting things to the way their bodies were pressed together.

As the two of them prepared themselves for another round, Hermione spared a second for the hormones that lay deep inside of her. Thanks, she thought, vowing to never hate their existence again.

This was the best New Years ever.