Somehow, on some level, between panted breaths, Lily Evans managed to wonder how on earth she'd ended up in such a state. She wondered what on earth was going to happen next. She wondered how James Potter had managed to get so bloody good at kissing. Then again, she thought, practice makes perfect and he'd certainly had his fair share of that over the years.

As their tongues battled against one another, she tried to remember where her feelings had changed, where she'd changed.

X

She could remember the first proper argument they'd ever had, back in her first year. It was over a trivial thing – Quidditch, as luck would have it.

"I don't have any interest in playing it but I honestly think that the best Quidditch team in the world are the Holyhead Harpies." Sirius said casually. The feathers they were supposed to be levitating lay on the desk, untouched.

"You only think that because it's an all female team."

"True."

Lily Evans rolled her eyes and turned around "Excuse me, but Potter you're really doing that wrong. You have to actually make an effort to get the feather to move..." She gestured to her own feather that was floating above her head "And personally, I think Quidditch is a bit overrated. It causes so many arguments...it's just a game!"

James' eyes widened and Sirius coughed.

"It's about to cause another one."

"Right." James said forcefully "Do you know what your problem is? You're failing to understand that it is not, and will never be just a game. You really aren't appreciating the beauty of the way brooms are made and the elegance that some players have when riding them. Quidditch is so much more than just a game."

"Look Potter." Lily said "I don't really care, but you have more pressing matters."

"Like the fact that your feather is drifting out of the window, you mean?"

Lily looked across the room and, sure enough, her feather was floating away. She ran over and grabbed it before returning to see James Potter with a smug look on his face, his own feather levitating in front of his nose.

"Am I doing it right now, Evans? Or-"

"You're such a know it all." She snapped, turning around.

"Oh, I am, am I?" He asked gently, leaning forwards so their faces were next to one another and smiling "That's a bit hypocritical, don't you think?"

"Not really."

He chuckled, continuing his conversation with Sirius and from that moment, Lily Evans swore that she would never, ever feel anything but hatred for James Potter.

X

Sirius Black and James Potter had first started attracting a lot of female attention at the mere age of twelve and thirteen years old. This was something that wound Lily Evans up, no end.

James was thirteen, Sirius twelve, when they snuck into Hogsmeade for the very first time and proceeded to get the ladies of Gryffindor tower very drunk on several 'borrowed' bottles of Fire Whisky.

"Right, seriously, what the hell is going on, Potter?" Lily shouted, storming into their dorm and interrupting what seemed to be a sort of party.

Remus Lupin touched her arm "There's really not much point, Lily."

"I don't care, Remus! I'm trying to sleep! It's half past twelve and we have and exam first thing tomorrow! James Potter if you put that bottle to your mouth one more time I will get McGonagall up here faster than-"

"Evans, Evans, Evans." Sirius drawled and Lily took a step backwards "What exactly is your problem? This is a good party and you're more than welcome to join in."

"You're in your second year! You're twelve, Black."

"I'm thirteen in two days – think of it as a birthday celebration." He grinned.

"I can't think of anybody who would want to celebrate the day you were born."

"Harsh." James commented, lifting a third year off him and smiling as he strolled over to her "Drink, Evans?"

She slapped him and stormed back up to bed, hoping that both Sirius Black and James Potter would choke on their own vomit and die a painful death.

X

Lily Evans sat in the Great Hall, staring at the paper in her hands "Oh."

Lily,

I don't mean this in an offensive way or anything so don't go crying to Mum but I really think it would be best if you stayed at home over Christmas this year. I have a boyfriend and he's going to be around a lot over the holidays so I really think that you should just stick around at school with that boy, is he called Cape? Or something, I don't know. Maybe your freaky friends can give you somewhere to stay. All I'm saying is that Vernon is a normal boy whose parents come from a well of background. He's good for me and I don't want you to mess this up for me like you have the rest of my life.

Wishing you well,

Petunia.

Tears of both anger and hurt welled at Lily's eyes as she tried to remember how to breathe. Her head swam with various emotions – betrayal, loss, anxiousness. Had she really messed up her sister's life? Was she really that horrible? She didn't think she was but...

Lily stood up and walked straight out of the great hall, across the courtyard and down to the lake, trying to clear her head and refusing to let the tears spill over as the wind hit her.

She wiped her eyes forcefully on the back of her sleeve and was shocked for a minute when she saw two figures running up the hill that she happened to be walking down. It was eight o'clock on a Tuesday morning, hardly the time for two thirteen year old boys to be out for a jog.

"Oh." She said, for the second time that morning, as she recognised the figures to be Black and Potter, the banes of her entire existence.

Sirius ran straight past her but James slowed to a jog "Evans, you really don't want to go down there we've just triggered a load of – Hey, what's the problem? Are you okay?" Real, honest concern seeped onto his features and Lily choked slightly on a sob.

"I'm fine, Potter."

"Well you clearly aren't but if you don't want to tell me then fine. Seriously though, don't go down there or you'll get drowned in a lot of purple slime that's chasing some Slytherins up the hill."

She nodded, "Right. Thanks, Potter."

He shrugged and began to walk away before "Evans..."

Lily looked stuck her head around the corner she had just turned in order to escape the 'purple slime'.

"What?"

He smiled weakly "I really hope you feel happier soon."

Lily nodded and walked away, wondering what on earth James Potter had eaten for his breakfast that morning.

X

"You know what, Potter, if you don't stop that now then I will rip off your-"

"Miss Evans!" McGonagall said clearly across the classroom "As fascinated as we all are as to which bits of Mr Potter's anatomy you are going to rip off, I would like to know what, exactly, your problem is."

"He's kicking the back of my chair." She said, blushing and gesturing behind her "Look, you can see how close his feet are!"

McGonagall peered around Lily's head to see James Potter and Sirius Black, leaning casually against the backs of their seats.

"Don't slouch, boys. Mr Potter, please refrain from touching Miss Evans' chair. She obviously isn't enjoying it."

James Potter looked up, feigning innocence "I wasn't. I don't know what she's talking about, Professor!"

Lily rolled her eyes "Well, quite obviously you were and you do."

James ran a hand through his mess of black hair and Lily cringed.

"I don't know what you mean, Evans."

Lily huffed and turned to the front of the class, crossing her arms as McGonagall continued with the lecture "Now, your fourth year is the start of strict preparation for your NEWTS, even though they do not take place until next year. You've had twelve months to get a grip on the subjects you've chosen and now we start the hard work..."

Lily tried to focus and did nothing but grit her teeth as she felt another kick on her chair leg.

X

It was a Sunday afternoon in her fifth year and Lily Evans was sat in the Gryffindor Common room, her head bent over a book and her hair tied into a messy ponytail at the back of her head. She wasn't looking her best at all, which is why she was slightly confused when she looked up from her spot on the floor to see a certain teenage boy looking at her with an unmistakable glint in his hazel eyes.

James Potter was sat on a table at the other side of the room, leaning against the wall with his feet on a wooden chair. He smiled, raised an eyebrow and then dropped his gaze to the chest board on his left, where Peter Pettigrew seemed to be losing magnificently against Sirius Black.

Remus Lupin was reading the paper on the other side of the table, and looked up to see the glance that shot between the two sixteen year olds. He smiled at Lily, who was looking angrily at his best friend.

"She really doesn't like me, does she?" James said under his breath, as if commenting on the weather.

Sirius snorted and Lily changed the direction of her glare.

"I think that's the understatement of the century, Prongsy mate."

James looked at him through thick eyelashes "Alright, no need for that."

Sirius bit his lip and leant backwards on the wooden chair after ordering a knight across the board "You asked."

James ignored him and watched Peter struggle.

"Erm...queen to-" he stuttered as James and Remus winced. "Erm...James?"

"Yes Peter, my good friend?"

"Will you help me?"

James grinned "Just waiting for you to ask. Queen, stay where you are. Night to D seven."

Sirius smirked and continued to play as James jumped off the table and strolled over to where Lily was sat, cross legged, on the floor.

"Isn't it cold down there, Evans?"

"It's May, Potter."

He shrugged "You've obviously never been in the lake."

She took a breath "Well I'm not in the lake, am I? I'm sat on the floor revising – something you and your little friends obviously think you're above doing."

James cocked an eyebrow "Actually, Sirius has a very big-"

"You'd know, would you?"

He laughed "Why do you dislike me so much? I don't get what there is to hate."

"You've just answered your own question."

"You're looking especially radiant today Evans...we'd be great together, you know."

Lily pulled out her wand and stood up. Before he even had time to reach for his back pocket, she'd blasted him across the room and was striding towards the portrait hole. The whole room was staring.

James stood up and, with a wave of his wand, moved a table in front of the portrait hole blocking her exit.

She raised her own wand and he disarmed her lazily. Her wand flew towards him and he grabbed it out of the air without even looking. He crossed the room and walked up to her, so that they were nose to nose, her emerald eyes flashing with anger.

"What's your problem, Evans?" He asked quietly, although the whole castle seemed to be listening in.

"My problem, Potter," She said, snatching her wand back "Is that I really, truly cannot stand you, and yet you seem to have this idea in your ignorant, arrogant, moronic brain that every girl in this place wants to shag you. Well, newsflash...I do not."

He smiled easily "Oh, but you will."

"I can assure you that I won't."

"But you will."

She pointed her wand at his chest "Get away from me now."

James Potter was not a stupid person and he knew that Lily Evans was a very talented witch, so he stepped backwards and shrugged.

Lily turned to leave, clearing the portrait hole but turned just before she passed through; firing several angry canaries out of the end of her wand, not unlike another female would do several years later.

As all the attention in the room changed to James and his issue with the birds, nobody saw Lily slip out of the common room, into the cool corridors where she could think in peace about why her heart rate had shot up, why her palms were sweating, and mainly, why she hadn't wanted to walk away from him.

X

Lily was sat on the floor as usual, the fire growing dimmer as she tried to focus on the homework in front of her that had to be handed in the next day...well, later on in the day really – it was gone one o'clock.

Her hair was tied into a bun, loose strands falling out and framing her face. She scribbled something down – she wasn't sure what...she couldn't concentrate on anything today. Not since...well...

The portrait hole opened, revealing a tall figure covered in mud.

"Who – oh, hey Evans." She completely ignored him, so he walked up to her and leant over one of the chairs "It's rude to not answer somebody when they take the trouble to say hello."

"I'd hardly class you as a human being though, really. So the same policies don't apply."

He nodded knowingly "Is it because I'm too handsome?"

Lily swallowed and then took a deep breath "No. No, not exactly."

He cocked his head to the left, feigning being hurt "Then what am I?"

She smiled, without taking her eyes away from the paper in front of her "A nasty, manipulative, egotistic, arrogant, slimy little piece of bacteria."

"Bacteria isn't slimy."

"Oh, I'm sorry James...I didn't realise you had a degree in Biology."

He winked "I'm great at Biology...want me to show you?"

"See." She raised her hand towards him in exasperation "This is exactly what I mean! You can't have a serious conversation, you come in here after, I presume, having sex with some poor girl on the Quidditch pitch at half past one in the morning and you're so...you think you're so perfect! And you really aren't but you can't see that because every girl in this fucking building thinks that you are!"

James looked at Lily, who was stood up now, facing him.

"Is this about what happened earlier? Because we were only kissing and-"

"You'll never change, will you?" She asked staring at him "You'll always be the nasty little toe-rag that has sex with girls in broom cupboards and-"

"Kissing."

"-And thinks he's God's gift."

"You're wrong there, Evans."

"What?"

"I've never had sex in a broom cupboard or any other sort of cupboard. And, also...not every girl."

"What?" She repeated.

"You clearly don't think I'm perfect." He walked towards her so they were centimetres apart "do you want to know what I think?"

"Not really."

"I think that you need a really good shag...it may relieve some of this anger." He gestured towards her.

"Okay, well I disagree." She stated calmly.

James chuckled, stepping backwards "And, believe it or not, I wasn't having sex this evening. I was helping Hagrid, but whatever."

She watched as he walked towards the boys dorm, wanting him to come back, but also wanting him to leave quicker.

"And Evans." He called over the stone balcony "Let me know f you change your mind about the shagging thing – I'd be only too happy to help."

Lily waited until the dormitory door had closed and then threw her homework across the room with a soft scream.

X

Lily Evans had always wanted to be Head Girl. It had been her ambition since she first walked through the huge doors of Hogwarts, the place she would call home for the next seven years of her life.

However, her entire life shifted when she found out who she would be doing her duties with – not Remus Lupin, frank Longbottom or anybody with a half decent personality. No, Lily would be doing her Head Duties with no other than James Potter.

They walked along a fifth floor corridor in silence, listening for students out of bed or any problems.

"Lily?" James asked quietly as they turned a corner.

Lily snapped her head around, in shock at hearing her first name on his tongue "What, Potter?"

"Do you think that somebody will stop this Voldemort bloke? Do you think it's possible?"

Lily stared at him for a moment. It was the first time she'd ever seen him like this.

"I don't know, Potter. I don't know. I hope so...but he's powerful. We can hope though, there's always hope."

He nodded and shrugged "Do you insist on calling me 'Potter' because you're stubborn or because it's habit?"

"It's because I don't like you." She said smoothly, but caught his eye and smiled.

"I reckon you're softening towards me." He said, and then laughed.

"What's funny?"

He smirked "I'm just thinking how strange it would be if you actually liked me – you know, if we got on; if we hadn't of had that argument over Quidditch in our first year, if I hadn't persistently asked you out for seven years."

"Six years." She corrected "You haven't asked me out since last year."

He shrugged.

"Why did you stop?" She asked voicing the question that had been bugging her since September.

He raised an eyebrow, but luckily the corridors were dark, so he didn't see her blush.

"Well I'd be spending so much time with you anyway, you may as well be my girlfriend." He said happily, and she gave him a dirty look "And, I also know how much being Head Girl means to you and I didn't want to run it. I can break the habit though, if you've changed your mind?"

"You know, I think I'll cope without you, Potter."

"James."

"Potter will do fine."

He shrugged "It's funny..."

"What is?"

He frowned, running a hand through his hair "I always thought I'd manage to get you to go out with me but you're the one girl I couldn't get. It's February, we leave in less than six months and...well, I never thought I'd leave Hogwarts without at least kissing you."

"Doesn't look likely, does it?"

He laughed and she smiled in return, wondering what on earth was causing the butterflies in her stomach.

They walked quietly for a bit in the first comfortable silence they'd managed to achieve until they heard voices. Lily frowned as went to move forward but James was quicker, pulling something out of his jacket and pushing her towards the wall, draping it over them.

"James!" She hissed "What are you doing?"

"Shh..." He said "Listen."

Lily tried to ignore the pressure of James' warm figure against her, attempting to keep the rhythm of her heart at a steady pace. The fact that she could actually feel James' own heart beating against her chest wasn't helping in the slightest. His hands were on each side of her head and he was leaning closer to her to keep the cloak over them both.

"Potter, is this -"

"Yes, Evans. It's an invisibility cloak and no I didn't steal it, now listen."

Lily shut up, focusing on the voice in the next room and not the hardness of James Potter's abs.

"Oh, yes, my sweet, all of those nasty gremlins should be hung so that me and you can live in this castle together. That would be fabulous, you're the only girl for me." The caretakers wheezy voice seeped through the stone wall.

"Who the hell is he talking to?" Lily breathed.

James bit his lip, holding back a laugh as the heard a 'Meow' and Lily pulled a face.

"That is disgusting." She muttered before catching James' eye and beginning to laugh silently. They were shaking against each other and then things happened very quickly. One second, they were laughing, but then the next James was looking at her in an odd way, as if she was everything he'd ever wanted and everything he could never have and then he did something Lily had never seen him do, he sighed in a defeated way that made Goosebumps erupt all over her body.

Lily wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to pull him closer, but that wasn't necessary because Filch must have heard them and James had to press himself even further towards her so that the caretaker could pass. Eventually, he and his cat disappeared around a corner and they both breathed a sigh of relief.

Lily realised that her hands were gripping his jacket and her head was resting against his shoulder. He pulled backwards and looked at her.

"Lily?"

"James," She sighed "We shouldn't be doing this, I-"

But then he was kissing her and she realise that she was kissing him back, one hand gripping her waist and the other on the back of her neck. Her hands got lost in his hair and he licked her bottom lip and she let him in easily.

Too soon, he pulled away and examined her face, expecting to see anger but instead seeing an awful lot of suppressed passion. Her eyes were brighter than he'd ever seen them, her cheeks flushed and her scarlet hair was tousled. James Potter had experienced more than his fair share of dreams about Lily Evans, over the years, but right then she looked better than she did in even his wildest fantasies.

"Fucking hell Evans, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for."

Lily said nothing but gripped his jacket and pulled him towards her, her lips moulding into his.

And it was then that she realised that she'd always felt this way, her wall of defence had been slowly crumbling since she first laid eyes on him and now it had well and truly fallen down.

James Potter had always been her problem.

X