Oh, hey! So, I haven't posted on here in literally a year. Okay, sorry about that. I know you missed me.

I think this is my 11th? fic that's been kept on here, and it's my first crack pairing and my first time writing either Atsushi or Akazawa. So this could either be brilliant or crap. I don't know, I guess that's something you decide.

I always write a little bit about what it was like writing my fics. This one was a little bit weird. Atsushi, who I have now decided that is one of my easiest characters to write, gets a lot of hugs from me, because he even cries when I ask him to. For anyone who have read my note before "Guilt", congrats, because you now know how I feel for Akazawa. He gave me a really hard time because he either wanted to molest Atsushi, or do nothing at all. ; A; He has Sanada levels of stubborness.

But, whatever. I hope you like this anyways.

Warnings:None.

Why I Asked

When Atsushi discovered that Mizuki had originally intended to recruit his brother, he was pretty disturbed. Well, he could call it more of a mixture of anger, awkwardness and a bit of depression, but that was too long and complicated to explain every time someone asked.

But nobody asked.

When, a few days after he arrived, Mizuki told him to sit on one of the benches in the clubroom, he had only gone along with his request. But when Mizuki had muttered a small "Nfu.", pulled a pair of scissors from his pocket and snipped off a large chunk of his hair, Atsushi had been pretty pissed off. He wanted nothing more than to jump up and ask his new manager what the hell he was thinking, but he didn't really think he had much of a choice but to deal with it. It was morning practice and he pretty much had to let Mizuki finish, unless he felt like parading around his new school with a haircut that was a little too trendy for his own tastes. Instead, he huffed, gave the slim boy a half-hearted glare, and hoped someone else would at least try to ask him why his hair was now so short, so maybe he could voice a bit of his frustration and console himself.

But nobody asked.

And when nobody asked, Atsushi just had to assume that they didn't care. Which, when he thought about it, didn't sound that odd. He was the quiet new kid on a tennis team that saw other, more charismatic, new kids way more often than was normal. So, while he was still using too much shampoo to wash his clipped hair, he had resigned himself to going to class, studying for class, going to the twice weekly tennis practices and doing whatever, whenever, and with whomever he was told to, and just staying out of the way in his spare time in between.

If he had been someone who wasn't cripplingly awkward, like Saeki or Bane, he may have been able to just muscle into a circle of friends in that magical way that had always confused him to no end. But he was awkward. And every day that he spent practicing serves against an empty wall or reading while jammed into the corner of a couch in the dorm lounge, either way trying to seem as small and insignificant as possible, while hearing the conversations going on around him that only made him feel more weird because that really wasn't any of his business, but it wasn't like he could just stop using his sense of hearing, and all the while fighting with himself on whether he should just say something, anything, to make anyone know he was there, and, maybe, if he was lucky, they wouldn't sneer at him, or scold him, or freak out and avoid him like the plague because he was weird, but instead would just ignore him like he hadn't said anything so he, also, could just pretend like he hadn't just said anything and made himself look like an ass in front of all of these people that he didn't know and who didn't know him and ohgod they probably thought he was weird because he didn't say anything, so maybe he should, but….

He questioned himself on what in the hell made him think moving away from Chiba was, at any point, a good idea.

Just as he was citing temporary insanity as his reason for coming to St. Rudolph, he strolled into the lounge and found it pleasantly deserted. It wasn't long after he moved here that he discovered the quiet, library like quality that the room took on in the evenings, and on most nights he came in here after dinner to read until he went to bed. He found it to be a nice place where he could simply be alone and not feel the awkwardness that had been plaguing him.

He glanced at the row of pay phones that lined the far wall and briefly considered calling home, but he remembered that all he had brought down with him was a historical novel that his brother had sent to him over the weekend. He sighed and plopped down on the nearest couch. He propped his head in his hand and fingered the edge of the paperback cover and looked at the bright orange sticker that priced the book at nearly 800 yen. He heard footsteps approaching the front door and looked up to see Akazawa appear in the doorway, dressed in shorts and a shirt that was nearly as fluorescent as the price sticker on his book. Atsushi tipped his head to him and turned to his book.

"Atsushi, right? I see you at practice all the time but I've never talked to you." He said, walking around the couch to sit on the opposite end. Atsushi closed his book a looked up to meet his expectant look. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable. In the month or so that he had been at St. Rudolph, he had really only seen his captain at tennis practices, and at those times, if he hadn't already been angry, he had quickly become so. In a nutshell, Atsushi was very intimidated by the brunette, and had been avoiding him when he could.

"Yeah," he said. He honestly had no idea what to say.

"So?" Akazawa said, turning his entire body so he could look at Atsushi more comfortably. "What do you think of St. Rudolph?" Atsushi was momentarily torn between lying and telling him what he really thought. But he quickly decided to take the safe route.

"Uh, it's good." He said, and Akazawa smiled a bit.

"Good. When I first came here, it kind of sucked, because I was really homesick. What about you? Do you miss home?" Atsushi wanted to ask him if he was daft, of course he was homesick, he hadn't been home, or seen his parents, or his brother or any of his friends in more than a month and he was terribly lonely because no one at St. Rudolph had shown any interest in him.

"A little bit." Atsushi actually said. Akazawa nodded in understanding. And the two sat in silence. Atsushi wasn't sure whether the conversation was over or not, so he looked away and went back to fiddling with his book. He was just about to just give up and start reading when Akazawa interrupted him.

"So what do you think of tennis now that you've come here?" Atsushi stopped for a few seconds to consider his answer, as he had mixed feelings.

"Well, I always like tennis, so, it's just as fun here as it was at home."

"You play doubles, don't you? How's that going?" Atsushi was surprised by his question, because he hadn't expected him to have noticed a detail like that. A feeling rose in his chest that made him want to smile.

"It's worked out really well. But I used to play with my brother at Rokkaku." While it was true that he didn't have any troubles with doubles at St. Rudolph, conversations with Yanagisawa were always short and kind of nervous, and as a result he knew next to nothing about his partner. Akazawa perked up at the last statement and scooted closer to him.

"Really? That must have been nice to be into the same things as your sibling." Atsushi almost laughed at the obviousness. He clearly had no idea how being a twin worked. His interests were almost always Ryou's interests, and vice versa. Akazawa frowned and appeared to be considering his next words.

"Look," he said, taking a deep breath, "I'm really sorry about that whole mix up Mizuki made when he brought you here." Atsushi felt the good feelings he had rush out of his chest. Even though most of his anger over the issue had dissipated over the weeks, it was still a pretty sore spot, and he wondered why the brunette brought the issue up at all.

"Ah, it's okay. It's not like you guys kicked me out because I was the wrong person." He chewed his bottom lip and moved to grab a piece of his hair near his shoulder, a nervous habit that he shared with Ryou. He met air, then remembered and started twisting a few strands in front of his ear.

"And I saw him cut your hair." He said, making it apparent that he had been watching Atsushi over the past few seconds. "I wanted to say something as soon as I saw what he was doing, but I wasn't sure if you had asked him to or not. I was worried I would piss you off." Atsushi pulled his hair a little harder, as he was getting more uncomfortable from what he was hearing.

"I had no idea that he was going to cut my hair until he had already done it." He said quietly while he studied old styled house on his book. Akazawa sighed.

"I know. Mizuki told me later on, when he showed me that headband you always wear." Atsushi heard him turn and move closer to him, so that he could see his leg in the edge of his downturned vision. "Listen." He said, and Atsushi had a brief thought that the captain may have been mad at him.

"Mizuki didn't have any right to do that to you. I told him that. I don't know how well it worked, but I did tell him. You don't have to listen to those weird requests of his. Meaning, you don't have to wear that damn ribbon he's got on you." He finished his rant, and Atsushi could feel him lean back fully onto the couch.

Atsushi mused that hearing something so obvious shouldn't be as upsetting as it apparently was. He wanted to say something along the lines "No, it's okay. I don't really mind." But he couldn't, because it wasn't okay. It wasn't okay to the point that he couldn't even blow it off like he usually did. All he could look was keep his head down, with his lip between his teeth while he held his breath in some stupid attempt to keep himself from tearing up any more than he already was.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you." Akazawa said, snaking a muscular arm around Atsushi's shoulders, and pulling him close enough so that his shoulder pressed into the brunette's chest. "If you need anything you can just find me. I know I'm not that great at helping people, but I'll at least listen to you." Atsushi only nodded, and the captain let him go and stood up. Atsushi allowed himself a few quick breaths while he wondered how he would ever live down the fact that he had pretty much just randomly burst into tears in the middle of a conversation. He heard a metallic bang from across the room and looked up to see Akazawa returning with a bottle of water.

"I don't know if you want to stay here and read or not, but I feel bad for upsetting you." he said, holding the bottle out toward Atsushi, who took it tentatively. Atsushi shook his head.

"Sorry about that. I think I'll just go back to my room." He said quietly, standing up and cradling his book under his arm. He would just go read in bed and try to forget what just happened. Akazawa frowned at him with something that could be described as sadness. He fell into step beside Atsushi as the smaller started towards the stairs.

"I'll walk with you up there." He said, and Atsushi felt the warmth of his hand as it brushed between his shoulders.

Love it? Hate it? Need Improvement? Let me know! I'm back, and I want to know what you guys think~