Hey. Hey guys, look. I wrote something. Did you miss me?

So, between this past June and up until recently, I've been buried up to my neck in real world problems. My horrible job over the summer ate up all my free time and college has devoured most everything else. I have been writing during this entire hiatus period, but I couldn't bring myself to find the time to upload things that I thought were worthwhile. My depression came back to slap me across the face full force, too. My roommates all think I should ask about potentially getting started up on anti-depressants, which is what I'm trying to avoid.

I put this particular fanfic together in a few days about a month ago. I always wanted to try out one of these memes before, but I had to twist the rules a little. It's supposed to be a fifty sentence challenge to go along with corresponding word prompts, but my brain refused to let me write less than at least a paragraph. Which is totally okay. We needed more Zapper/Grappler fluff-angst in the world, anyways. Most prompts are rated T, but some might be bordering M. Nothing too graphic, I don't think.

Criticism is welcome and always appreciated. I don't own SD Gundam Force or any of its characters save for a few sparsely mentioned OCs and my own headcanon. Thanks to Ultimate Evil Person for the beta and happy New Year! I have an entire folder worth of other updates that are coming within the next few days, so stick around.

If you could only see the beast you made of me

I held it in but now it seems you set it running free

The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound

I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground

Howl - Florence & The Machine

1. Argue

The human pet that the Gundam Force always keeps around once made an off-comment that they argued like an old married couple. Upon the realization of what exactly "marriage" was, they agitatedly denied the claim and tried, unsuccessfully, to go after the brat themselves. After having their afts promptly handed to them by Captain, they returned to the Magna Musai and uneasily retired to their shared quarters. Were they really that obvious?

2. Gravity

After one particularly nasty battle where the Dark Axis attempted – and failed – to secure a power plant in Neotopia's industrial district, Zapper Zaku found himself barely able to stand when they arrived back at the Magna Musai. He could feel the overexerted pistons in his legs straining to give out as he stepped off the Komusai, but before gravity could pull him down to his hands and knees, Grappler was already there to catch him.

3. Price

When Zapper Zaku was captured and dragged all the way down to the interrogation rooms by the SDG, he refused to say a word. Even when he was bludgeoned, pistol whipped, and got himself carted away to Robo House for immediate reprogramming for his efforts, he kept his vow of silence and never revealed where Grappler Gouf was hiding. It was a hefty price to pay, but for the sake of protecting his mate, it was a price well worth paying.

4. Beast

According to the Lacroan spirit chart, Grappler's totem was the Ice Falcon: a beast once feared in the northern mountains due to her cold heart and ability to summon ferocious blizzards. According to myth, she was wounded by a great hunter and crashed onto a high cliff in the middle of one of her worst storms. She would have died had it not been for the efforts of another spirit, the Fire Wolf. He saw her plummet and braved the maelstrom in order to rescue her, dragging her into a cave once he found her and protecting her until spring. They found love in each other that winter, and from then onward, there were no more brutal blizzards on the mountain: the Fire Wolf had warmed his lover's icy heart. The legend was silly sounding at best. In fact, the entire story would have completely gone over Grappler's head had it not for one small detail: Zapper's totem was the Fire Wolf.

5. Scar

Even three years after it's happened, Zapper still feels guilty about giving Grappler that horrible scar on his helm. He really hadn't meant to hit the other mech with his heathawk when that fight that got out of hand, and considering all the other slag Grappler has gone through – losing his original arm to Commander Nightingale, especially – a little part of him dies with remorse whenever he sees that sharp nick cutting up across the other mech's face. Grappler says that he doesn't mind, that he forgave Zapper a long time ago, but it will be a long time coming before Zapper decides he can forgive himself.

6. Value

There are a lot of things that bother Grappler. One of them is how Zapper holds absolutely no sense of value for himself. He has no idea why Zapper is so hard on himself, but the younger Axian suspects that it has something to do with the other warrior's harsh upbringing. So more often than not, when the maroon mech slips into some of his worst moods, Grappler makes a personal effort to lug him back to their quarters where he can take his sweet time showing Zapper just how much he means to him. And then maybe Zapper can learn to understand.

7. Claws

Zapper Zaku struggles to sit still as Grappler Gouf's talons trace slowly down his chest, outlining the dips and nooks of his battle-scarred chassis. He keeps his restraint tightly reigned in, keeping his expression totally stoic. It's only when Grappler maneuvers his arm and drags those feathering claws down his back that he finally loses control and shudders.

8. Nickname

Honestly, Zapper doesn't mind the huge array of demeaning nicknames Grappler has for him. Especially when they're alone in their quarters and the younger mech can whisper those names in his audials in the best ways possible.

9. Circuitry

Grappler yelped as Zapper yanked particularly hard on a cluster of exposed circuitry in his shoulder. He would have turned around and snapped at the other mech if the tugging hadn't turned into s deep, pleasurable rubbing. As his body melted into the caress against his own accord, Grappler decided it would be far better if he just bite back his insults and not say a word.

10. Steam

His mate's fingertips ignite passionate fire across his neural network, making Zapper's core temperature rise so high that the condensation on his armor is evaporating and causing steam to rise between their bodies in thick, choking billows.

11. Cold

Winters in the Dark Axis were cold and unforgiving. Because the Magna Musai's patrolling grounds were stationed in the furthest northeastern region of Axia, they had to deal with the worst of it. Even Destroyer Dom, a transfer from the Lucid Musai, understood exactly how bitter the temperture could get. However, Grappler Gouf was a transfer from the Shadow Musai, which was stationed in the far south where the air pollution caused the heat to sometimes rise to unbearable levels. The poor mech was hardly prepared for that first freezing night on the Magna Musai when winter rolled around, and at the first few tremors that wracked through his body, Zapper wordlessly moved closer next to him in their shared berth and cranked his internal thermostat as high as safely possible. Grappler never had a problem with the cold since then.

12. Murder

Destroyer Dom was convinced, with a high amount of certainty, that Guneagle was going to murder Zapper Zaku. The way the Gundam had his fellow squadron leader's head pinned underneath his foot, his beam rifle raised to blow the maroon Axian's chassis apart… Destroyer knew he was too far away to help and Zapper was too injured to fight the young flier off. He really was sure Guneagle was going to kill him, but then Grappler Gouf chose just then to rush behind the Gundam and ram his claws through his belly with a furious shriek. When it came to the intent to murder, Destroyer decided, Grappler clearly had Guneagle beat.

13. Broken

When Grappler Gouf was sent back to the Magna Musai from a meeting on the Shadow Musai, he was so badly crippled that just barely touching him sent waves of pain rolling through his sensors. He was so delirious with agony that he had to be restrained and heavily sedated lest someone get their faces clawed off. The worst of the damage had to have been from his broken arm, but the most daunting damage came from the deep talon gauges on his chest plates. With barely restrained fury, Zapper recognized the marks as belonging to Commander Nightingale. The resident Zako medic fixed as much damage as she could before finally allowing Zapper into the infirmary to visit. Grappler was unconcious from the sheer amount of painkillers in his system. The older squadron leader didn't say a word, but he stayed by his broken mate's side all night like a vigil. It was the only thing he could do.

14. Wrath

It was late at night when they returned back from their most recent – failed – mission in Neotopia. Zapper was so badly hurt from an all-out brawl with Captain and Bakunetsumaru that he could barely stand, so when Commander Sazabi voiced his intent to punish them, Grappler immediately stepped forward and offered to endure both his and Zapper's punishment in place of the other squadron leader. Then, in front of the dismayed Zako crew, the Commander inflicted his deadly wrath.

15. Explosive

Their relationship was something akin to a bomb. It was packing a large amount of chemicals with questionable legality, outright explosive, and downright lethal… but by comparison, their love for one another was even deadlier.

16. Agony

As soon as Zapper heard Grappler's distinct shriek of agony from across the battlefield, he dropped everything he was doing – which, in that case, was trying to crush Bakunetsumaru's neck in a headlock − and rushed in the direction of the scream to help his mate.

17. Barrier

The first time Grappler ever fixed a barrier between their bond, it had been for the first time he regained consciousness, after Commander Nightingale beat him within a shred of his own life. He didn't want his bondmate to feel what he had gone through for as long as he was recovering, but no sooner had the wall gone up between them, Zapper was repeatedly clawing and slamming into it from his end of the bond, trying ferociously to break his way through. Grappler was so caught off guard that he dropped the barricade simply out of shock. He was promptly barraged with rapid pulses of affection from his mate, and from where he had been sitting at his bedside, Zapper threw his arms around Grappler's shoulders and crushed him close. "Don't you ever do that again, you twit. If you're going to suffer through this slag, I want to suffer with you."

18. Night

During the day, as far as anyone is concerned, they hate each other. They hate each other so much that any and all conversations between them are biting, sarcastic, and mean. They hate each other the point where it rivals their hatred for organics and Gundams. It's only at night when no one is looking that they can drop the façade and love each other just as ferociously.

19. Fussy

Grappler thinks it's hysterical how fussy Zapper can get over the Zakos. He knows each and every one of them by name, can recognize individuals from across a room without so much as reading their energy signature, and knows where any one mech or femme is on the Magna Musai during any particular shift. And for the longest time, Grappler used to be jealous of just how much Zapper Zaku loved them.

20. Wound

The wound in Zapper's side was so deep that Grappler could see part of his feebly gurgling fuel pump. It was slowly spilling petrol and energon through the maimed valves, essentially forcing the older squadron leader to bleed out. Zapper was getting heavier in his arms, steadily becoming less and less responsive to his frantic probing, and Grappler desperately hoped that the Gundams wouldn't find them before Destroyer and the rest of the rescue party did.

21. Fairy

During a special "secret" mission, Grappler and Zapper left for Neotopia together in order to fish for information about the whereabouts of the Gundam Force's secret headquarters in the city. The mission came to an abrupt end when an unruly adolescent male, sunburnt and blonde, skated up to them and referred to them as fairies. This was roughly one half second before Zapper gladly introduced his fist to the man's face with enough force to snap his neck and internally decapitate him. Grappler called it romantic. Zapper told him to shut up and keep walking before law enforcement showed up and found the body.

22. Touch

They crave one another's touch for their own reasons. Grappler loves the almost hesitant way Zapper handles him, treating him the same way as if he were handling one of his machine guns. Alternatively, Zapper loves how maddeningly rough Grappler can sometimes get, reminding him that he's not the softsparked weakling like he sometimes feels he is.

23. Sweet

Grappler almost hates how sickeningly sweet Zapper can be with the Zako soldiers. The playful way he sometimes messes around with them, the affectionate nuzzling, the manner he often treats them like they're his sparklings rather than soldiers… he could be disgustingly sweet, but when Zapper has him pinned in the privacy of their quarters, murmuring sweet nothings against his audio while they're both straining and bucking, Grappler finds it in himself not to mind so much.

24. Hell

Both of them have endured Hell. Their previous lives before working together on the Magna Musai are marred with ugly scars that have rooted themselves deep into the very cores of who they are, branding them each with the hideous mark of all they had to go through before finding a shred of peace in each other. But, if someone were to ask either of them if they were willing to endure their horrible histories a second time if it meant being with each other forever, they would indubitably answer yes.

25. Fight

It's vicious and violent when they fight, and more often than not, it's over stupid little things. They kick, punch, claw, butt heads and refuse to back down until one of them is either too exhausted to continue or somehow actually gets injured. But when they do finally calm down, when no one is around to burden them with stares and bets of who do you think is going to win this round, they shower one another with apologetic touches, nuzzles, and caresses.

26. Storm

Grappler Gouf is lightning. Zapper Zaku is thunder. Grappler attacks in a flash, blinding his opponents with his speed and swift claw strikes, and Zapper's barrage of bullets completely eliminate the enemy in an explosive finale moments later. They both clash consistently, battling for dominance in a maelstrom of wind and heavy rain, and together they make the perfect storm.

27. Fire

Through his stinging, blurry vision, it takes Grappler a moment to realize that someone has dug him out from under the metal beam and is half dragging, half carrying him away from the still growing fire. His air filters sputter uselessly as he tries to speak and just chokes on smoke and embers instead. When another beam falls in front of them and blocks their path, he feels himself hefted up and tossed over someone's shoulder. He catches sight of Zapper's determinedly flaring optic lens before finally losing consciousness

30. Outcome

The longer they fight the Gundam Force, the less and less hopeful they are that they're going to win. Still, no matter the outcome, both Zapper and Grappler promise that they'll stay together. Even if it kills them both, even if they have to find each other again in a different life, nothing is going to separate them.

31. Quiet

Quiet moments between the two of them are rare. Given the general chaos of their positions as squadron leaders, it's to be expected. Still, when a spare pocket of quiet time does roll around, usually at night when Destroyer stops banging around in his room below theirs and the Commander stops pacing around in his office upstairs, Zapper and Grappler cherish it.

32. Imperfect

Zapper is an Imperfect: an Axian created with a "fatal" flaw. Despite being sparkborn, created by parents rather than in a factory like Grappler was, where the risk of being created defective was at its least, his mother's death during his sparking caused his spark to develop its defect. He's a hemophiliac, which means that his fuel does not clot normally when he bleeds. To be cut open by a blade or shot enough times where he can't get access to immediate fluid transfusions is practically a death sentence. Usually Zakos with deformities like his are euthanized before they get as far in life as he has, but because his was so discreet, he evaded a "mercy" killing just barely. It was a secret that Zapper guarded with his life… until he finally bonded Grappler. Now it's a secret they sentinel together.

33. Engine

Zapper's engine is huge: a ten cylinder monster with a torque of six hundred horsepower that puts Destroyer's six cylinder, four hundred HP wimp to shame. Its idle rumble is hypnotic to listen to, and when Zapper is fighting, it roars and splutters like some kind of caged beast inside his heavy chassis. Grappler especially loves it when he can do things to Zapper in the privacy of their own quarters where he can hear that powerful engine straining and revving for more, but the best part comes afterward, where he can just lie there and listen to its contented purr lull him into recharge.

34. Fight

Sazabi knows he's not the only one to notice. Destroyer Dom and some of the more receptive Zakos appeared to have picked up on it as well. It's painfully obvious that Zapper's and Grappler's fights are becoming more and more docile. They argue less and actually manage to be productive in one another's company. Then when they do bicker, there is definitely a distinct hollowness in their voices. Sazabi can hardly find it in himself to complain, though. So long as they stop giving him a headache, he doesn't care what they're up to.

35. Dying

The worst part about this whole mess is that Zapper knows Grappler is dying. The rate of his bleeding, the limpness that's gradually overtaking him, the obscuring and faraway look in his darkening optic… no matter how many times Zapper tries to shake him awake or keep up small talk, the other squadron leader keeps slipping further and further away. At this point, all Zapper can do now is simply hold on and pray that his bonded will somehow pull through.

36. Cover

After their most recent coupling, Grappler doesn't immediately roll off. He supports the majority of his weight on his knees and elbows, cupping Zapper's face in his hands and nuzzling the underside of his mate's mouthpiece, simply covering him.

37. Shield

The beginning of his attraction to Zapper started during their first mission together in Neotopia. They had worked together once in Lacroa before, although that particular endeavor hadn't gone over so well. Grappler was determined to work alone, opting to fight Captain by himself without backup. He assumed the Gundam was strictly stuck with melee weapons – he knocked the mech's beam rifle out of his hands already – but what he failed to anticipate was that the Gundam had hidden turrets in his helm. Captain opened fire during their swordfight and Grappler found himself scrambling to shield his optic and protect himself. He quickly had to dodge away, losing his advantage and leaving himself exposed to another attack, and that was when Zapper suddenly leapt in front of him, posing himself as a shield.

38. Functioning

Too much has already happened to Grappler. He's lost his original arm, took an axe to the face, and was nearly beaten to death by his old Commander for being disloyal to her. Zapper Zaku loves him too much to let anything come by and hurt him again. For as long as he's functioning, he promises that he won't let anything bad happen to Grappler again for as long as he lives. Even if it kills him.

39. Sweat

In spite of his stocky build and contrary to popular belief among the Gundam Force, Zapper Zaku was probably in the best shape of any mech on the Magna Musai. For two hours every morning before he and Grappler started their shifts, he would to the training arcade and work his physical systems out, testing his endurance and making sure he was in top shape to fight. After that, he spent any time left over sparring with Zakos who feel like challenging him to a friendly match. Grappler used to hate getting up so early in the morning, but for the chance to see his mate covered in a layer sheen sweat and dripping with condensation, he doesn't mind.

40. Drunk

Zapper Zaku, a recovered high grade abuser, has been sober for a little more than eight years. The same cannot be said for Grappler, although the older squadron leader hardly minds dragging his bondmate back to their quarters from the bar in the early hours of the morning. He's more complacent and a lot less likely to argue when he's drunk, anyways.

41. Grief

As Grappler learned, Zapper Zaku's aggression and unrestrained fury on the battlefield is rivaled only by his overwhelming compassion for the Zakos. So when Guneagle kills a particularly young soldier and leaves Zapper to drag the wrecked remains back through the Zakorello Gate during their retreat, Grappler can't help but to let his mate grieve on the deck of the Magna Musai in peace.

42. Shatter

His resolve is not something that can be easily shattered. He is a hardened killer and fearsome Dark Axis squadron leader. To try and get him to break is like trying to punch a hole through a reinforced brick wall: useless, painful, and just downright stupid. Grappler Gouf's doggedness is not something that is easily bent or fragmented… unless Zapper Zaku just so happens to be working his hands up across the hotspot on his shoulder right there. In that case, Grappler understands that it's perfectly okay for him to let his resolve melt into bliss, if only just for a little while.

43. Business

The first time they were introduced to one another, their early interactions were strictly restricted to business. Even three years later when Grappler Gouf transferred from the Shadow Musai to the Magna Musai, their interactions were still strictly business related. Mostly. Unless they happened to be alone together. Their relationship became a little less professional then, but neither of them minded.

44. Memory

Zapper Zaku's memory is absolutely pristine: he never forgets anything, no matter how small of a detail it is. So on the night of their first anniversary when Zapper pushes him against the wall, waits two seconds, and then promptly announces "I asked you to bond with me right here exactly one year ago," Grappler feels his spark swell with love.

45. Wind

The first time Grappler took Zapper out on his hover boat, the older mech was a little less than enthusiastic. The boat had always been rickety and the controls were temperamental at best. It had dumped Grappler off before, too. Pitt, they might as well have both fallen off, seeing as Grappler had never tried it out with a second passenger. But once they pick up speed and the wind starts whipping all around them, Zapper finally began to relax and enjoy the ride.

46. Sunlight

Grappler Gouf hates a lot of things about Neotopia. The plants, the dirt, the animals, the humans… he hates a lot of things actually, all except for one. Axia was always dark and poorly lit since the pollution finally blocked out the sun, but the way the Neotopian sunlight plays off his lover's maroon armor makes the appeal of the Dark Axis go down significantly.

47. Bond

Their decision to bond is cautious. They know their sparks are specifically aching out for one another, and now that their fighting is at an all-time low, they guardedly decide to try. If it seems like something is going to go wary, or if either one of them becomes too uneasy to continue, they agree to immediately separate and never speak about it again… but when it does happen, when they first touch their sparks together in the pink glow of the twin moons in the shared quarters, any thoughts of nervousness or anxiety are entirely abandoned. And after they overload and regain consciousness sometime in the middle of the night, they simply hold each other in silence and revel in their new bond together.

48. Kiss

Slowly, almost nervously, Zapper presses his mouthpiece to Grappler's, caressing the other mech's vents with timidly warm air. Grappler responds in kind by gripping the back of the older squadron leader's helm and assaulting him with a scalding burst of air from his own vents. For their first kiss, it's actually not that bad.

49. Love

Their hatred had simply been a mask. A cheap, horrible plastic mask that was thin enough to be torn apart in the hands of a sparkling. Neither one of them wanted to admit that they were head over heels in love with one another. To show love in the Dark Axis was a weakness, especially in the optics of the General. They were too strong for that. Love was for the weak. Their pride would not allow them to admit anything less… still, when they do drop their masks long enough to see each other with an unbiased optic, they wonder just how stupid General Zeong really had to have been.

50. Howl

When Grappler finds Zapper again, he's horrified. He expected the Gundam Force to maybe imprison his mate, lock him away where he could at least somehow be rescued, but this… to have your memories wiped, to have who you are stripped away from you, to have your mind raped – to be reprogrammed was a sentence worse than death. At least you got to keep your identity when you died. When you were reprogrammed, your identity would simply be torn away from you. You lost everything you worked for without ever remembering what it was you did. You lost your friends, your family… and if you had one, you lost your bondmate as well.

"Uh… do I know you?"

A janitor. A maintenance drone. Grappler can hardly believe it. It's undignifying and disguising and horrifying cruel all at the same time. Worse still, they just had to make him obsessive over flowers. Zapper hated plants. The real Zapper. Grappler wants to punch this imposter in the face simply to spite the SDG and the Gundams he knows are watching them on the security feed, but he finds himself turning away and leaving the engine room without another word. He sees Destroyer Dom's pitied expression, the sad and understanding glances of the Zakos, Genkimaru's confused look of bewilderment… but he keeps walking. He keeps walking blindly for quite some time until he finds himself clawing open a locked door in some cheerfully lit hallway he barely even recognizes anymore. His fingertips are bloodied and leaking lubricant, but he barely feels any pain as he finally pries the sealed door open with all his strength, tearing his way into the room. The empty hole in his spark hurts more than any bodily injury. The window is sealed off and the contents are gone, but for the most part, it's still his and Zapper's room.

He tries to reach down his end of the bond to find Zapper, one last time. He finds nothing. Just a hole. Just a deep, bitter, fragging empty hole.

Grappler Gouf locks himself in the dark, drops to his knees, and howls.

Fin