I sit in my living room, staring at the screen in shock. My fists clench together as I try to remember a time when I might have suspected this, when it wouldn't have come as such a surprise. All that worrying about how he would feel could have been avoided had I known then what I have just discovered.

Peeta walks in and places a cup of something warm in my hands. The steam billows around my face and helps me to calm down. I take a cautious sip, careful not to burn anything. After the fire that destroyed what was left of President Snow's regime, Peeta and I are both wary of anything even remotely above room temperature. Though the tea is bitter, it relaxes me, and I rest my hand lightly on Peeta's leg, trying to think of the best way to break the news.

He looks at me curiously and waits, knowing I'll tell him when I feel ready. Luckily for me, the screen emits a high-pitched beep, indicating the newsreel is about to start over again. Ever since the end of the war, those in charge of the screens have been very particular about what is suitable to air and what isn't. They try to stick to the stories that will entertain or shock, but not in a bad way. Negativity and death are avoided now in all the districts. As if we can just forget what happened.

The loop starts up again, and I wordlessly point to the screen, knowing that Caesar, yes, that Caesar, will do a better job of explaining things to Peeta than I ever could. Peeta looks at me for a moment and then shrugs to himself, turning his gaze to follow the direction of my gesture. The screen crackles for a moment as the audio kicks in, and then the image appears again. Caesar's hair is just as ridiculous as it's ever been. He sits up straight in a crisply frivolous suit. The studio lights reflect off the white satin as he brushes a manicured hand over his lapels, ensuring he looks his best. He clears his throat and smiles at the screen.

"The districts may still be recovering, but if there's one thing that will never change in Panem, it's our citizens' love of all things outlandish. In order to help re-establish its resources, District four had, dare I say, a fabulous, idea for digging itself out of the deep recession it's in." The camera cuts from Caesar to a vibrant shot of District four surrounded by floats in all colours and shapes. Women and men dance on the screen, their bodies painted in the colours of the district. Blue for the ocean, green for the arbor, and gold for the sand.

Peeta shoots me a narrow-eyed glance, as if wondering what effect such an innocent news story could possibly have on me. I raise my eyebrows at him in irritation and jerk my head forward in the direction of the screen to ensure he doesn't miss it. I nearly had, the first time. It was only my inability to comprehend what I was seeing that enabled me to truly see it all.

Peeta sighs softly, but a smile plays on his mouth so I know he's not taking it personally. He turns back to face the screen just in time to see an extreme close-up of a good looking dark haired man embracing someone else as equally good looking. With his hair groomed differently and his clothes of a much better caliber, I probably wouldn't have recognized Gale had it not been for the look of fury in his eyes as he turned to see a camera in his face.

I haven't seen Gale for months. Not since he left, knowing that I could never truly get over his part in the death of my sister. Gale's lover is just shorter than he is, with bright blue eyes and hair so blond it shimmers under the light of sun. He seems equally as upset about being filmed kissing as does Gale. I catch Peeta's reaction out of the corner of my eye as he gapes at the screen, shock and amusement mingled so incoherently it's impossible to tell which one is more prominent.

"It…he…" It's the first time I've ever seen Peeta unable to speak. Usually the most eloquent person in the room, Peeta at a loss for words would normally signal the apocalypse for the rest of us. I can hardly blame him for being struck dumb at the moment, however. It's not his fault that Gale's boyfriend happens to look just like him. It may have taken me 17 years, but I've finally realized that it was never my part in the relationship with Peeta that upset Gale.

It was Peeta's.