Circumstances-10

A/N: HEY GUYS. Thanks for all the new alerts for this story;) I appreciate it;) This is the last chapter for this story, because I felt that it has been dragging on for a while, and the amount of exams I've been having hasn't allowed me to have time to write much... Sorry. Hope you like it! (Well, those of you who are still reading, anyway)

Disclaimer- NCIS is not mine, however the writers NEED to get Tiva together soon. Caskett has already become canon, Polivia too, and B&B are having a kid together. It's already the ninth season:/ If it takes much longer, I may need to storm the studio:X

Chapter 10 Letting Go

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She knew that he was watching her, or at least trying to. She could feel his intense stare prickling onto her skin, and she wished he would go to sleep. His gaze was filled with uncertainty, warmth, and friendship, but thankfully, not pity; and for that, she was happy.

Ziva knew she had to place herself as far as she could, from his warm body, which led to her sleeping with her body pressed against the side of the bag. She knew he was disappointed at her decision, but she chose to ignore his subtle hints. As far as she knew, Tony could never be fully hers, not when he still belonged to her best friend.

She would never admit it to anyone, but her decision to sleep on the floor was part stubbornness, and partly because she wanted him as close to her as possible, without seeming desperate. It wasn't because of fear, but more of the discomfort she felt, after shooting one of her own flesh and blood, to protect someone unrelated to her. It went against all of her inbred rules, but it had still felt morally right.

She managed to hold back all her tears, until she was sure that Tony had fallen asleep. Then, she slipped out of the bag silently, and retreated towards the bathroom downstairs. Along the way, she accidentally missed a step when she reached for the door knob, because the tears that she had been fighting against, had begun to cloud her vision.

Although she didn't make a too much of a sound, she cursed inwardly, knowing that there was a high chance that Tony would have heard it, and gotten up. She quickened her pace towards the one room in the house that she could go to.

Upon reaching the bathroom, she turned the lights to a minimum, and went in. As Ziva passed the mirror above the sink, she paused and subconsciously judged her own reflection. She looked terrible, like all her scars, visible and invisible, were all coming to surface.

She didn't want his pity. It would be that much worse than him telling her that she does not mean anything to him, to her face. As much as she was brought up to hide her emotions, she knew that Tony would see right through it. It was a weakness that she could not avoid unless she got rid of him, which she would rather die than do.

Her thoughts morphed into her brother, lying face up on the floor, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, with a bullet hole in his head. It hurt her heart to know that she was the one responsible for it. She had knowingly betrayed and dishonored her family. Without thinking about it much longer, more tears slipped out from her eyes, and she swiped at them furiously.

Ziva shifted so that she could kneel on the floor, while facing away from the bathroom door. She quickly shut the door, knowing that the light could attract someone else's unwanted attention. When she was sure of her guaranteed privacy, she let the tears that had been building up, fall.

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He knew it the moment she twisted her body out of the blanket. He had been listening closely to her uneven breathing, and before long, he had drifted off. However, the slight movement of the sheets woke him up, but he decided to wait until she got far enough, before 'waking up'.

He heard a soft creak as Ziva stood up, and he held his breath. He knew that she was watching him for any indication that he was concious. Any outcome of her finding out that he waiting for a reaction, was dangerous for his health. So, he decided to play it safe, and lay low.

She seemed to believe that he was still asleep, so she slipped out of the room without making another sound. Tony waited for a total of 30 seconds, before he assumed that the coast was clear. He carefully got up, and followed, trying to avoid any trick steps along the way.

He made a beeline for the small ray of light that protruded from the small gap in between the closed bathroom door, and the floor. He could hear soft murmurings coming from inside, and half wondered if Ziva was on the phone with someone. As he inched closer, Tony recognized the sounds he heard, as sobs.

He took a second to hesitate, to think of what her reactions to hus intrusion might be. She could shut him out completely, hate him forever, or just completely lose her trust in him for doing this. The one thing he did know, was that he might be the only person that she would allow, comfort her. That reason alone, drove him to push the door open and step in.

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She flinched harshly when she heard him step in, and shut the door behind him. She wished she had had the sense to lock the door after she went in, so she could have avoided that situation. She stilled her sobs and waited. Waited for him to move, or say something.

The silence that the small room plunged into, was filled with unspoken thoughts and half hidden feelings. For a moment, Ziva thought he was going to quickly walk out and pretend he never saw her in this state, but the moment passed, and Tony was still standing there.

The realization that she was still in a kneeling position on the floor, and he was standing motionless behind her back, hit her like a wave on a beach. She made a quick move to get up, but mid-way, Tony's arms slid around her waist and halted her movements. She felt his breath, warm, against her neck, as he mimicked her position to make himself more comfortable while holding her.

"I knew you'd come here." Tony whispered against the smooth skin of her neck, and she shivered involuntarily at his closeness. She didn't have much to say to that, so she sighed softly in reply and leaned into his hug.

They let things hang there for a minute, before she broke the silence with a question. "Why made you come after me?"

"Oh, I knew you must've been a bit shaken up after what happened, so-"

"Not just now. I know that you and Abby have been tracking my movements for a while." Ziva felt his body tense up suddenly, but she didn't move and neither did he. Finally, he spoke. His answer came out strained, as if he was debating whether he should say it.

"Look, we were worried, okay? You'd been acting distant, and we weren't sure if you were-" He suddenly cut off his own sentence with a jerky shake of his head, and looked away.

"Compromised?" She asked softly, turning her head towards him.

"Hurt!" He immediately corrected her, his tone, a little too harsh. She sensed his discomfort, and started to move away. He instantly held her back, and apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

"Michael was only with me as a cover." She blurted out, and Tony raised his eye brows at her. She gave a slight shrug and answered his unspoken question. "Just thought you might want to know that." She looked at him expectantly. After a moment, he caved.

"I-we thought you were in trouble. You just pulled away from us, all of a sudden, and none of us could contact you. Well, Abs had an idea to put a bug in your stuff so that we'd know whether you're okay, and it sort of went from there."

She pet his hands that remained on her waist gently, and linked their fingers together. He tightened his grip on her, as if afraid that she'd run away or disappear. She shifted uncomfortably, pulling her legs closer to her ribs. Not that she minded the close contact, but having her legs pressed against the sink wasn't very comfortable.

Her kneeling position on the floor had morphed into one with her almost sitting in Tony's lap, her knees bunched up against her chest, and Tony's back pressed against the wall for the lack of space in the small bathroom.

"So, what now?" Ziva spoke up quietly, as she played with the messy strands of her hair that were framing her face.

"We go back to being who we were before everything started?" Tony replied hesitantly. He began to feel a slight jolt of fear when she did not answer him. She suddenly let out a bitter laugh.

"Tony, Kate was murdered, and I just shot and killed my brother in cold blood. Going back is not really an option, I think." Knowing the truth was something, but hearing her admit it, was something else. It was said in a tone that nearly chilled the blood in his veins. However, he forced down his apprehension, and maintained his nonchalent tone, determined to keep her afloat.

"Then, I guess, the only option, is to move forward." He said, just as softly. She let out a painful sigh, and finally relaxed in his arms. At first, he thought that she might have fallen asleep, and he was about to get up and carry her to the room. It was only when his hands felt damp, that he realised that she was crying.

"They're gone, Tony. I've lost Kate, Michael, Abba, Ari, everyone who cared about me." Tony turned her body to face him, and she curled up against his side instantly. He wanted to say "you've got me! I'm not leaving anytime soon", but he knew it was too soon for her.

So he just held her, like a best friend would, while she cried into his shoulder, clinging to him like he was the only thing that kept her from losing all her control, because that was who she needed right then. She didn't need someone to pick her up and carry her, she just needed someone who would let her get up herself, and walk by her side.

So, for the first time since the havoc began, Tony felt a strange wave of calm and peace wash over him, and he knew that this was not the end. Life had a way of correcting mistakes. Ari got his comeuppance. Gibbs finally got the closure he needed. Abby got her dream of showing up the normal lab scientists. Kate died the way she would have wanted to, a hero. Tim grew up in different ways. Ziva and Tony would have their own chance to change their own circumstances in the future, but until then, only time can tell.

~Finé

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Hello readers! I know this was probably not the ending you'd expect from me, but I felt that the mood was fitting to the whole story line. I didn't want to end up creating this whole fairy tale ending when the main point of the story is about them dealing with their best friend dying. So, I thought that having them finally learn to let go of that, was a better ending.

In fact, I had to change the story a few times, which is the reason for my lateness in updating this chapter.. I apologise again! GOMENASAI! :( MIANE! SORRY:(

Thanks for sticking with me till the end of this! I hope you all enjoyed it:) I'll be back to writing more fanfics after my exams next week! :$ Since my holidays start soon, I may have more chances to write so... :D See you soon:3

Reviews are appreciated!

~Lianna