Title: The Butler's Dedication
Author: PwnedByPineapple
Summary: Ciel reaches the conclusion that Sebastian becomes far too engrossed in his job at times. Crack-ish.
Rating/Warning(s): K; none
Notes: This series gives me an unhealthy need to write crack for it. Troll!Sebastian for the win. Because I love the fact that they play games with each other, and if Sebastian is not a marvelous troll, then I don't know what is.

Disclaimer: This fangirl owns nothing.

It's the third time Ciel has called. He doesn't even notice that he's beginning to crumple the police reports, such is his annoyance, and he counts to ten.

... still no response. What on earth is that demon doing?

Ciel could, of course, order the butler to appear, but he's almost curious. This isn't like Sebastian, who strives and very nearly achieves perfection in everything he does. A faint sense of foreboding enters Ciel's mind, but he pushes it away - the notion is utterly ridiculous. There isn't even a hint of disturbance in the manor, and in all likelihood, Sebastian has only found another cat, damn him.

... It really is something of a curious circumstance, however.

Well... it's not like Ciel has any particular reason to stay in his study all day, anyway.

He finds Bard sulking near the dining hall.

An expectantly raised eyebrow is all the question Ciel has to offer. Bard jerks a thumb in the direction of the kitchen, a moody frown on his face. "My job's been hijacked," he grunts. "Sebastian's been in there for over an hour. Won't even let me come in."

Ciel frowns. He doesn't recall giving Sebastian any orders to make something that would take the demon more than an hour and certainly nothing that would keep him from answering when Ciel called. "What is he doing?"

"Dunno. Sounds a little scary, though."

It sounds more like a very controlled whirlwind has invaded the kitchen, as Ciel notes when he nears it and stands before the door. He listens for a moment, eyes narrowed.

"You think there's more than one person in there?" Bard asks a bit suspiciously, from behind him.

Ciel doesn't answer. He reaches out a hand and...

"Sorry. Forgot to mention it was locked."

Ciel scowls. "Don't you have a key?"

"Sebastian has it."

He would. Uttering a heavy sigh, Ciel raises a hand and pounds on the door. "Sebastian! Open this door at once!" Withdrawing a step, he waits several seconds and is on the verge of asking Bard to find Finny when there's a click, and the door slowly opens.

"Yes, my lord?"

Ciel hears an odd, strangled sound from Bard - no doubt the exact same sound the boy himself would make were he a little less inhibited. It takes him a few moments to find his voice. "Sebastian," he finally croaks out. "What... is on your face... and your clothes?"

A floury hand reaches up to briefly touch an equally floury face. Sebastian's eyes widen in surprise. "Oh, dear," he says in consternation. "This is a messy process... I didn't realize... forgive me, young master, give me a moment..."

He attempts to withdraw and close the door, but Ciel pushes forward suddenly. "You didn't answer me at all," he snaps, shoving the door open. "I want to see what's so..."

Words utterly fail him.

It's almost as if a fog has permeated the kitchen - a thick, floury fog that immediately makes Ciel sneeze. But that isn't what leaves him speechless, though it does leave his eyes watering. No - what makes him stare, even gape, undignified though that action may be, is the largest cake he's ever seen. It towers above him, a monstrously beautiful creation that wouldn't be possible by human hands.

"Damn," Bard says in awe. "Sebastian, this is amazing!"

Sebastian is no longer covered in flour. His face and outfit are as spotless as ever, but the same can't be said for the kitchen itself. He's busy hurrying about the place, tidying it up at speeds almost as remarkable at the cake in its center. "I was in the process of cleaning when you knocked," he says by way of apology. "Really, young master, your timing is most terrible."

"Timing," Ciel repeats, because he's having a hard time tearing his eyes away from the giant confection. When he recovers from his temporary daze and looks down, the kitchen is already clean. Sebastian stands beside the cake, smiling pleasantly.

"You're wearing an apron," Ciel says and sneezes again.

"Ah, yes," says Sebastian, removing the article of clothing at once.

"That is not a man's apron."

"It was the only one I could find."

"I accidentally burned all the good ones," Bard says apologetically.

Ciel feels another sneeze coming on. This can't possibly be from the flour alone; most of it is already escaping through the vents. Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, trying to hold his breath, he casts his eyes about the room and soon spots the true source of his incessant sneezes.

"Sebastian," he practically growls. "Why is that thing in my kitchen?"

The 'thing' in question leaps from underneath the counter into Sebastian's arms, hissing at Ciel, as Sebastian gives his master a very plaintive look. "I needed inspiration," the demon says. "And she is such a beautiful creature, really... the perfect model."

Model for what? Ciel almost asks, but on instinct, he looks up at the cake once again. And he notices that it does have a vague shape - very similar to a cat, if one looks closely.

Oh, good God.

Thoroughly unnerved, Ciel looks down again to find Bard questioning Sebastian with the intensity only a man desperate for such ability can muster. Sebastian answers his questions serenely, appearing quite pleased with himself. In fact, he looks far too oddly happy to be normal.

"Oh, wow! It's incredible! Did you make this, Sebastian?"

Finny's voice cuts in, charged with excitement, as he and Maylene practically tumble into the room. Their eyes are wide and round as they gaze on the culinary masterpiece, and Maylene turns to Ciel, grinning. "What's it for, young master?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," Ciel says, and his voice comes out rather bewildered. He shoots Sebastian a glare. "I didn't order it. Why did you make it?"

Sebastian contemplates this question for a moment, stroking the cat in his arms. Then he shrugs, a graceful motion. "I'm not quite sure. I had the idea, I suppose."

Sebastian. Making gargantuan, cat-shaped cake. Without being ordered to. Because he had an idea.

Ciel turns and stalks from the room, leaving the other four to their merriment.

Tanaka is sitting outside, quietly sipping a cup of tea, when Ciel finds him.

"I'm making you the temporary head butler," Ciel tells him without preamble. "I expect you to carry out Sebastian's duties for a little while."

Tanaka slowly lowers the teacup, alertness flashing into his eyes as he calmly regards the boy. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing I can't handle. I'm taking Sebastian somewhere. He is... unfit to work at present."

There's a twinkle in the old man's eyes. "Does it have anything to do with the commotion that's been going on in the kitchen?"

Ciel huffs in annoyance and turns on his heel, heading resolutely back into the manor.

Master and butler are at the edge of the forest that surrounds the manor. The boy stands with his arms folded, gazing at his butler expectantly as Sebastian gives him a bemused glance. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand our purpose in being here, my lord."

Ciel nods in the direction of the trees. "Go hunt in there."

The only reaction to the oddness of this request is a raised eyebrow. "If that is indeed your order," Sebastian says after a pause, "shouldn't we have brought rifles?"

"You don't need a rifle to hunt. You're a demon."

"But, young master... it's a messy business without a gun."

Ciel starts to become agitated. He waves a hand at the forest insistently. "Just... go and do demonic things!"

A slight furrowing of the butler's brows. "Demonic things?"

"Yes, demonic things! You're a demon, aren't you?"

"I'm surprised you've forgotten."

Ciel cannot properly express his agitation in words. It's just too unsettling, too strange, and frustration creeps into his voice. "I haven't forgotten! But you have! So go... be bloodthirsty, do something!"

Sebastian blinks at him in surprise, then gives a small nod. "If you truly wish it..."

"I do! Go! That's an order!" Without another word, Ciel stomps out from underneath the shade of the trees and settles himself for the wait. He watches as Sebastian stands there a moment longer, then disappears into the trees, too fast to see. Satisfied, Ciel thinks back to what he saw earlier... the mess, the gigantic cat cake, the bizarre attitude, the apron...

He shudders. Perhaps he'll need to revise Sebastian's workload, if this is the case...

Sebastian pauses once he's thoroughly sheltered by the trees, glancing back. A smile creeps onto his face, one of triumph and amusement. The boy had truly been troubled by the display, which had only been expected. No doubt Ciel is already making changes, revising the way in which he deals with his demon, and Sebastian is sure the little master will step carefully around him for quite some time.

Laughing, Sebastian turns back around and heads off to have a little fun.