I've decided to do a series of one-shots set in the world of my Twelve Days of Riddler series. They're out of chronological order as they're pretty much going to be posted just as they come to me, I just want to keep them all under one story title for my own lazy benefit, so...yup. For those of you coming to the party late, be sure to check out Twelve Days of Riddler, Week of the Cat and The Summer of Scarecrow.

For real fans of the Eddie/Lina pairing, check out my profile...if you're sharp enough, you'll know why. All comers welcome! (That's right, I'm breaking all the rules, but doing it very slyly, kids!)

Eddie And The Sea Monkey

"You're staring at it again." She stated, flipping the page to her copy of Vogue magazine.

Across the room from her, Eddie cleared his throat and raised his own magazine back to his face. From behind Popular Mechanics, he poked his head up slowly again.

Smirking, Selina crossed her legs. It was getting hard not to sit like an old man with the new weight she had acquired, but she found it undignified to let her swollen gut get in the way of her elegance.

"If you want, Eddie, you can come over here and touch it."

Again he adjusted his magazine. "I'm fine, thank you." He replied curtly. "Don't need to touch it to know it's there."

After about three minutes of quietly perusing their prospective magazines, she found a pair of blue eyes on her again and sighed, dropping the magazine into her lap. "What, Ed? Hn?"

He hid quickly behind the pages of Popular Mechanics.

Sighing, she set aside her magazine and slouched on the sofa, letting her fat gut stick out almost obscenely, her hands resting over top of it lightly. She eyed Eddie, daring him to look at her.

He sniffed and flipped a page.

She knew what he wanted, what he was waiting for. As much as he tried to pretend he could care less one way or the other about the state of her womb, the look on his face when he touched her swollen stomach as it bumped and rippled under the attack of a kicking foetus gave away his cool exterior. He was fascinated, excited even at the thought of what her body was creating just out of sight.

Deciding to torment him a little, she touched a spot to the right of her belly button and gave a soft 'oh'.

The magazine dropped to his lap. "Is it kicking?"

Selina smirked darkly. "No."

He picked up his magazine again and snapped it open almost sullenly.

Twisting in her seat, she flopped dramatically on the sofa so that her legs were thrown up on the arm, her head hanging off, her belly stuck up high into the air. She eyed him out of the corner of her eyes, waiting for him to notice her. Idly rubbing her belly, she smiled almost proudly.

When he continued to ignore her, she pulled up her blouse enough to show off her mountainous gut and calmly drummed her fingers.

Eddie continued to ignore her.

Growing tired of him pretending to ignore her, she picked up her magazine from the floor where it fell and lobbed it at him.

It smacked his own into his face and Eddie scrambled out from under the magazines at the attack.

She smiled and purred, arching her back to show off her gut. "Heya, Ed."

He scowled at her and adjusted his tie. "What's wrong with you tonight, my dear?"

"Nothing." She said, touching her stomach, running a finger around her popped belly button. God, was she really getting that huge that even her innie couldn't take the strain?

Moving a hand to touch a cufflink, he fidgeted with it for a moment, still eyeing her. "What is it tonight? Spaghetti and pickles? Peanut butter and chocolate mint ice cream? Pancakes and relish?"

"It's not a craving," she replied.

He heaved a long suffering sigh. "What can I do for you my rotund little pussycat?"

"I think you know what I want." She said.

"The G rated thing or the other thing?"

She scowled at him and struggled to sit up. "Do I look like I'm in the mood for the other thing?"

"A man can hope."

"Besides, do you really want to do that with me looking like I swallowed a beach ball?" She demanded.

His eyes glittered playfully. "Are you looking for reassurance, kitten?"

"I'm looking for a goddamned belly rub." She snapped. "Are you going to make me beg for it?"

Eddie smirked wickedly, but before he could say anything, she cut him off.

"Fine, I'll take a bath instead." She growled, struggling to her feet. Discomfort had come with her condition and while it wasn't in any place she could pinpoint, a bath usually did the trick if a belly rub couldn't put her at ease.

Jumping to his feet spryly, Eddie chuckled. "Alright, my queen, sit down on your throne and ease back.

She glared at him for a moment, before dropping her heavy frame back onto the soft cushions behind her.

Easing down at her side, Eddie smiled, long fingers gripping the hem of her blouse and tugging it up over her belly.

She laid her head against the back of the sofa and sighed as his cool, gloved hands began rubbing circles over her distended gut. She wasn't sure if it was because he was good at it or if it just felt good on her over-stretched abdomen, but she felt everything just melt into a blissful blur.

"Kitten?" He asked, breaking through the fog of her tranquility.

She opened an eye. "Hm?"

"Have you ever pondered genetics?"

Selina closed her eye. "Not now, Eddie."

"I was just thinking, what if our daughter comes out impossibly beautiful? You know I wouldn't be able to handle that. All those boys coming around..."

"Who said it's going to be a girl?" She asked.

"Of course it's going to be a girl. It better be or you're not doing your job properly."

Selina's eyes popped open and she sat up. "My job?"

"Well, you're making the thing. I thought if I put in a good word you could try extra hard for an XX chromosome. I know it's not exactly how things are done, but maybe a woman never really tried to change the batter before the cake is baked."

Touching her temples, she squinted, mocking extreme concentration. "Sorry, Ed, headquarters say he's already got a little penis."

He beamed. "Whatever it is, it must have your stubborn nature already imbued in it's very soul then."

"Shut up and keep rubbing."

"Stubborn little sea monkey..." he growled as she leaned back against him.