My Kids But You Can Have Them Chapter 1, a 39 clues fanfic

Chapter One

Ian felt refreshed, well rested, and happy. He had been on a business trip for the Lucian branch and it had gone well. He was ready to relax with his family. But when he opened the door to his mansion, all he saw was utter chaos. His wife was scrambling around and- what was that terrible racket?

And then it hit him. Amy is going to a madrigal meeting tonight, he thought, and I have to watch the kids! Suddenly, a knot formed in the pit of his stomach. He walked over to Amy and put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped.

"Oh, Ian, you startled me. It's good you got here on time." Ian frowned,

"Hello to you too, Love." Amy grabbed her purse and started

listing instructions.

"Ok, um, I have to go, but there should be a maid with the twins in the play room. Arielle is downstairs watching Max, and, oh, Courtney is grounded so you should probably go talk to her and you'll see why, and if the kids get hungry tell the cook not to give them anything sweet, and I love you, good bye, and of all things, Don't Let Max Near The Bathtub!" She kissed him once then ran out the door to get in her car.

Ian watched Amy leave, wondering what to do. He decided to go check on his sixteen year old daughter first. He went up to the third floor and knocked on Courtney's door. A grudging "Come in" came from inside the room. Ian opened the door and immediately saw way she had been grounded.

"You died your hair PURPLE?" he exclaimed. Streaks of bright purple ran down the girl's jet black hair. She was dressed in all black, with heavy dark makeup. One ear bud was stuck in her ear.

"Like, nobody said I couldn't." She smirked, "It matches my room." Ian did note that there was a thin line of purple in the middle of her black walls.

"We will talk about this later young lady." Ian's tone was harsh. Courtney shifted on her bed.

"Yeah, like, whatEVER, Dad." Ian held out his hand.

"Ipod, please." She glared at him as she handed over the device. He closed the door and sighed.

Just then there came a scream from what Ian knew must be his twelve year old daughter, Arielle. He hurried to the basement, where he found her holding her six year old brother by the shirt collar.

"What happened?" Ian asked. Arielle started ranting,

"I was watching him like mom said, when he went all scientificy and DUMPED some goop ON MY NEW SILK DRESS! It's SILK, Daddy! SILK! We'll never be able too get it off! It's RUINED!" Ian was a little concerned about the dress also, but he sighed and said,

"I'll take it from here, Arielle. You just go change your clothes. I'll buy you a new dress." Arielle stomped off and a minute later a slamming door was heard. Ian looked at his son.

"What were you doing?" Max was wearing a big apron and goggles.

"I was mixing some anti-components with nitrogen to form a conclusion that would fit my hypothesis about the rotations of the cumulonimbus…" he trailed off, obviously deeply interested in his discoveries.

"And anyway, it boiled over." Max grinned. Ian worried.

His final stop was at the twin's play room, dubbed by Amy, 'The Toy Store'. There where Jason and Steven, playing with Miranda, one of the countless servants, and some of their hundreds of toys.

"Hey, how are my two favorite three year olds?" Ian picked them up, one in each arm. The twins squealed, babbling in what Ian found to be a constant stream of sentences, some of which made no sense whatsoever. The servant excused himself, and it was just Ian with the toddlers. Things got ugly fast.

First, Ian tried to teach them how to play Polo, but soon the twins got bored of climbing on their father while he carefully instructed them in the details of the game. They started whining and crying, and Ian was bewildered. He called for a maid and when she came, he said,

"Find out what's wrong with them. I can't stand to hear their nonsense any further." After all, he was a Kabra, and Kabras didn't work. It turned out that they were bored, and after that they were hungry, and after that they were tired. Ian decided it was time for their bed time. He honestly didn't know how Amy could do this every day.

A half hour and many stories later, Ian was pretty sure he deserved a break. He sat back on his soft, squishy, easy chair and relaxed. For about two seconds. What's that funny smell? And then he remembered.

"The bathtub- Max!" He yelled, and ran for the upstairs bathroom.

Smoke pored from the bathroom as he opened the door. And there was Max, standing next to the huge, marble bathtub holding test tubs with different colored liquids in them.

"What in goodness sake is all this mess?" Ian screamed. Max looked up.

"Hold on a minute dad, I just have one more thing to pour in…" Ian lunged for the descending bottle but it was too late. BOOM!