Study Partners
Disclaimers disclaimers...the usual things ^_^' Wow...it's been long *sweatdrops*. This is actually the fourth revision of this chapter, I just can't seem to get satisfied with it o.O And they say 7 is a lucky number...yaoi alert, that is if the chapter title hasn't made it obvious just yet ^0^
Chapter 7 - Admission
He really was an idiot.
And least to say, him having the reputation of an anti-social jerk only to run away in a kid's playground when hit by a sudden struck of depression most probably is enough to declare him an idiot and a half.
But there were more things to think about. Much more important than dwelling on the fact that he WAS in a child's playground of all places. Things like, Why was he so upset, Why did he feel like he wanted to punch the red-haired do'ahou for letting Haruko turn him yet to another pod of putty.
Face it, you're jealous. It was the annoying voice again.
Thick brows of shady black furrowed irately at the thought, more so because he knew it was true. He hated seeing how Sakuragi had looked when he apologized. And mind you, Sakuragi apologizing to anybody, to HIM of all people, was a very absurd idea even if all you're doing is thinking about it.
A heavy sigh escaped his lips, his fingers tightening around the slightly rusted chains as his eyes shut closed. He felt his head drop down in defeat, raven-black hair falling to shield his closed eyes. This was not a sight everybody would usually see from him. Most of the time, he has his head high, whatever the circumstances, and he always had his eyes opened and indifferent to whatever insult or pain the world has to slap on his face.
But like what would always run amuck in his head, this was different. HE was different. That red-haired idiot he oh so loved to annoy and insult, little by little, had taken a huge part inside of him that it had already reached an unbearable peak. And he knew it.
Rukawa Kaede was in love with Sakuragi Hanamichi.
Of course he was shocked. All his life, he knew was never attracted to men. Nor was he attracted to women, but that's another story. The point was, of all the people to give his life its debut on the L-word, it just had to be that arrogant idiot. Maybe he really was dumb, even his choice of taste is plainly dumb.
Another sigh. Pale fingers came up to rake the annoying strands of hair away as he sat back to take a deep breath. Blue eyes met the darkness of the night sky, eyeing the stars randomly, staring with an undeniable attention when he caught a shooting star streak a thin line on the sky. He had always thought that wishing on shooting stars and all those sort of things were trash, but this time, he kicked the thought away and took the chance.
If only...
The wind blew viciously, his eyes drifting closed in response to it. He was feeling drowsy. And it was then did he realize that over the span of that whole day, he hasn't slept a wink. Usually, he would sleep during classes, during breaks and every time chance would allow him to. But that day, not to mention all the days that had passed ever since he became classmates with Sakuragi, he never slept in any class at all. He would only do so during breaks, but over the past few days, he had been cutting his sleeping time just to go to the crowded canteen he oh so hate just to get a glimpse of a certain somebody laughing his head off with his group of friends.
Need he mention who that certain someone is?
Oh shit, you REALLY have it bad. And add another point on the idiot board for not realizing it until now, Mr. Brain-dead.
Shut up.
He shook his head awake. Now he was talking to himself. Why the hell did his "voice in the head" start to become more and more talkative these past few days anyway. Maybe he really had gone mad as Sakuragi would usually tell him he was.
"Oi, Rukawa!"
And speak of the devil.
I swear, if he's with that girl, I'm going to kill him. Or the girl. Whichever comes in my way first.
Thus thought of, he shifted his eyes to look at the source of that voice. A huge wave of relief spread through him when he saw that the redhead was alone. But he took great care not to show it. Convinced that his face showed no sign of whatever it was that had gone through his mind for the past few minutes, he gave himself the satisfaction of seeing the other boy in a more clear view.
Sakuragi stood a few feet away from him, his bag slung over his shoulder while the other rested on his waist in a very disapproving manner. It took Rukawa a few seconds to notice that together with his own bag, Sakuragi was also carrying HIS.
Rukawa's eyes narrowed slightly, shifting his head to one side to make sure if it was HIS bag at all. Sure enough, it was his. The familiar looking black gym bag even had the familiar keychain of his initials of "K" and "R".
Sakuragi seem to have notice the question on Rukawa's blank expression and he immediately took the boy's bag. Shifting his own bag to his other hand and to his other shoulder, he held Rukawa's own on the handle before he made his way towards where the raven-haired boy sat.
"Of all places, I never would've expected a dumb fox like you to be here," he said tactlessly, his face in a mocking scowl as he dropped the gym bag carelessly on Rukawa's feet. Their eyes met. "Miyagi told me that I should give it back to you since you were stupid enough to leave it."
For several moments, all Rukawa did was stare at the black bag, his eyes leveled down, lips set in a firm line. It took a few seconds more for him to look away to the distance, before muttering the one word he never would've thought he would say to the other: "Thanks."
Where the hell did THAT come from?
Sakuragi seem to have thought the same. His brown eyes widened in obvious shock, blinking a few times as if wanting to clear what he was seeing. For one thing, Rukawa didn't throw an insult like he ought to do. It had always been a mutual rule between the two of them that if one starts an argument, the other would do his part and either throw a sharp insult back or punch the other on the face. Or at least, that was how everything used to go.
The redhead frowned. "What's with you?" he finally asked, putting his confusion into words. "First you start freaking me out in class by giving me that stupid 'good luck', and now you're THANKING me?!" he cried out incredulously, putting his own bag down before he falling on the swing just beside Rukawa's as he waited for a response.
"Ever heard of etiquette?" the young boy asked back, not missing a beat. It almost made Sakuragi roll his eyes.
"Can that word even be associated with you?" he retorted, eyeing the other boy with mocking eyes.
Rukawa glared at him. "Leave me alone, do'ahou."
It's funny how he would marvel at the attention Sakuragi was finally giving him, only to kick him away like he wont to do even if it was the last thing he wanted at the moment. For some reason, all he wanted to do was to get away from the red-haired boy, but still, another part of him nagged him endlessly to at least give it the satisfaction of seeing the redhead. He supposed that the reason was because, like he had just admitted, he liked the guy, but nevertheless, it was also the reason why he wanted to get away.
Because he's in love with someone else.
That little thought made the whole of his chest constrict unbearably, that breathing was almost painful. So that was how it was when you get "emotionally inclined". He had always thought emotions were stupid, and he still thinks the same. But could he help it that he felt that way? Well, usually yes, but not now for some strangely absurd reason.
And that "reason" was right beside him, eyeing him as if wanting to kill him.
"Teme, kitsune! I just gave you your bag back, didn't I?!"
"Ahou. I thanked you, but all you did instead was annoy me yet again," Rukawa said, meaning it as a punch on the face. He suddenly felt furious. Why was it that whenever he felt that all he wanted was to get along, Sakuragi would pull up some crazy thing that will surely make him react in a way where everything would just lead to plain chaos? Is that what the redhead wanted from him? A rival to whom he could vent up his anger to?
If ever the answer was no, Sakuragi wasn't helping it show.
"But that's because you never DID thank me before. Why start now, you dumb baka!"
Yes, why indeed?
Maybe because I just goddamned admitted I'm in love with you but you're such an ass enough not to help me out so I'm giving a fuck out of your time by trying to be nice just to drive you crazy?
But instead of saying that, Rukawa just shrugged and looked away. He's not telling Sakuragi what he felt. Over his dead body. He wouldn't risk being a victim of murder yet again, this time, no accidents. He already saw it now. Him falling on a high bridge in the edge of the city, tied hand to foot, with a furious redhead cursing him up above. The very thought made him shudder.
"Oh, I just remembered," Sakuragi said, cutting him off, but not before Rukawa heard him curse him under his breath. "It's your house's turn for the study session."
Rukawa's eyes widened.
"Hey, Ryochin did it, it's not my fault. Like I like being with you," Sakuragi added, glaring at Rukawa as he picked up his bag. "If only I'm not risking my membership in the team, I would've gladly escaped from you as you ought to know."
Such sharp words. Does he know you're getting hurt just hearing them?
Apparently not, Rukawa thought, watching the other turn to leave, only to turn back to look at him over his shoulder. He was expecting him to lead the way.
With another firm glare on the ground, cursing fate, cursing his luck, cursing himself, Rukawa finally stood up to pick up his own things. He patted the bag off of the dirt that clung to its bottom before taking the first step towards the redhead.
Silence covered them both as they went out the gate. Rukawa lead the way while Sakuragi followed close by. The blue-eyed boy forced himself to look elsewhere besides his companion, convinced that he'll drive himself mad with the inner conflicts that would rise whenever he sees him. Instead, he looked up at the star-laden sky again, focusing his attention to its vast oblivion, remembering the chance he had wished for just a few minutes ago.
If only...
No shooting stars this time though. Was it a sign?
* * * * *
"See? I told you!"
"That doesn't prove anything, Hisashi. And if you noticed, they just fought again."
From behind the fairly big tree trunk, Mitsui turned his head from the retreating figure of the two younger boys to his companion. "Wrong. Sakuragi fought with Rukawa, but Rukawa did not," he said, shooting up a finger to show his point.
Kogure sighed. "What's the difference?" he asked exasperatedly, also shifting his eyes from the other two.
A wide grin was on Mitsui's face. "That means that FIGHTING is not on Rukawa's main interests now! And admit it, I'm right!" he said triumphantly.
"Well, maybe Rukawa-kun is just not into fighting these days."
"Min-kun, he walked out of practice! RUKAWA never neglects basketball."
"You're over-reacting, Mitsui."
"He left because Sakuragi apologized to him!"
"But isn't that a good thing?"
"HARUKO made him apologize."
It took Kogure a few moments to think it through. Finally, his eyes widened. "Oh!" he cried under his breath, eyes shifting back to Mitsui. "Do you think...?"
"THAT'S what I've been trying to tell you since we left!" Mitsui cried, throwing his arms out.
Kogure frowned. "Rukawa?! And Sakuragi? But that's a very strange idea, Mitsui."
Mitsui snorted sarcastically. "As if you being with me isn't."
A quiet laugh. "Right. I forgot that you just hit me the first time we met again for so long back in highschool," Kogure pointed out, a grin on his face as he looked for a reaction from Mitsui.
And sure enough, he did. "Min-kun! That's not what I meant! And that was years ago, and I apologized for that, didn't I? I didn't mean it!" Mitsui said vehemently, his eyes turning like that of a sick puppy's, enough to make other dogs hide their heads in shame. Worried eyes rested upon his lover as the memory crossed him, making him shudder.
Kogure laughed yet again. "I was kidding, Hisashi. But about Rukawa and Sakuragi, what were you saying again?"
After heaving a huge sigh of relief, Mitsui grinned. "WE are going to help them!" he said proudly, smacking his fist to his open palm in a gesture of his genius. He winked at Kogure when the other boy looked at him disbelievingly.
"We?!" Kogure asked, almost a bit too quickly that his eyeglasses seem to have slipped from where they were locked with his eyes.
Mitsui couldn't help but reaching out to take them from Kogure, looking deeply into the other eyes before kissing the tip of the boy's nose. He then put the glasses back carefully, putting them in place before leaning down to meet the other boy's eyes again. "Yes, WE. You and me. Us. WE are going to play matchmaker, isn't it great?"
Kogure, still in a daze, looked at Mitsui with still wide eyes. "You're kidding."
Unfortunately for the spectacled boy, Mitsui shook his head. "Sorry to say I'm not, koi," he said sadly, even if a grin tempted its way on his lips.
"But what about Haruko?"
"Come on, Min-kun. Akagi's going to kill us if we even try to pair her up," Mitsui said. "And she doesn't seem to be interested with Sakuragi, even if the guy is practically being TOO obvious sometimes. Sakuragi needs a break, to someone who at least appreciates him enough to feel something despite the odds. Despite his flaws which this someone seem to see almost quite often too, but nevertheless, sees him as someone who CAN be appreciated for what he truly is."
Kogure sighed, slightly convinced. "But what about Haruko's crush on Rukawa?"
"YOU want to pair Rukawa up with Haruko INSTEAD?!"
Kogure frowned. "Not that I am, but why not?" he asked.
Mitsui looked at him incredulously. "Are YOU looking for the gateway to heaven, koi? Rukawa will KILL you!" he said, throwing his arms around the other boy. "And why bother, he already has his eyes set on Sakuragi."
"You're not even sure of that, Hisashi!" cried Kogure, frowning at Mitsui's response.
"Sure I am," said the other boy with his proud grin yet again. "Come on, it'll be fun! This is Rukawa and Sakuragi we're talking about here, Min-kun!"
Kogure sighed. "My point exactly. But in case you're right, I guess I have to come with you. If ever you're not, I wouldn't want you getting crucified by some crazed guy who's supposedly three years younger than you are."
The scar-faced boy grinned. "That's sweet, koi. But I know it when I'm sure," he said confidently. "And admit it, you know that when it comes to this, Rukawa needs all the help he can get."
To be continued...
A/N:
I'm sorry if this chapter took so long . It's just that school just started and all those annoying things, so sorry again. But anyway, is anybody STILL reading this thing?! Boy, one has to be patient if ever one is planning to finish this. But anyway, I think I'm getting somewhere, and it's close to ending if I'll get the plans right. But don't expect much, okay? ^^; I'm trying to make it more fast-paced (not that it shows, the story's still going slowly! .) because I'm working on other fics as well, and lest I want to mix my mind up, I have to finish everything.
Anyway, thanks for reading and for you patience ^^; Comments are greatly appreciated ^_______________^