So . . . I haven't posted anything on here in a very long time, and my track record for finishing stories isn't very good, but I've got a sudden inspiration and I just had to write. This is my first Castle fic so I hope you enjoy it! This takes place sometime in season 4, so there are spoilers for pretty much everything that's already aired. I know that the show is going to deal with all of this in a different and probably much better way, but I just wanted to get my ideas out too.

Disclaimer: Trust me if I owned the show, it wouldn't be near as good.

Summary: In a relationship surrounded by lies, can Castle and Beckett start up a romance? They might not get a chance to find out when life interferes and Beckett goes missing.

Candor and Mendacity

It had been a long and difficult case. They were both exhausted and hungry, and they had both saved each other's lives over the last week. The case had been the vicious rape and murder of a teenage girl, and had been far too close to home for Castle, who couldn't keep his mind off the redness of the victim's hair, and the closeness in age she shared to Alexis. After a tiring and relentless search they had finally cornered the guy, but he had drawn a gun on Castle, and Beckett had been forced to shoot home. The bullet had pierced his head. The scene had been messy, and both of their clothes were spotted with bloodstains.

So now they were both tired and raw, on edge, when they finally left the precinct at eight pm that night. They had only just made it out the door of the precinct when she grabbed his forearm and pulled him to her. She was looking at him uncertainly, so he decided to take the lead. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and drew her lips gently to his, providing her ample opportunity to escape if she so desired. She closed her eyes and lasted exactly four and a half seconds before she pulled out. She blinked rapidly and stumbled back several steps, trembling.

"I- I can't. I can't. I- I'm sorry. I'm just . . . I'm just not ready. I'm scared. I can't do this."

Castle took several steps toward her. "Kate. It's okay Kate. We'll take this as slow as you need. I promise I won't hurt you. Please just give me a chance."

"No," Beckett trembled. "No." She stumbled away again until her back hit the brick wall of the precinct. "You don't understand. I have to tell you. I can't . . . keep this to myself anymore. There's . . . I remember-"

"Remember what?" Castle asked.

"No, listen. My shooting. I remember . . . everything . . . that happened." She rubbed the center of her chest. "I remember what you told me . . . before I passed out. I lied."

It was Castle's turn to stumble, all the way into a bench, which he collapsed into, putting his head into his hands. Beckett started to take a tentative step toward him, but stopped and instead took one in the other direction. She glanced at him before looking at her own feet.

"I- I'm sorry," she muttered.

But simultaneously her expression turned rigid and she stopped showing those feelings that hurt so much. She turned from him and fled the scene at a fast-paced walk.

She stopped at her usual takeout place, Sila Thai, on her way home. It was only a few blocks from her apartment, so it was delicious, cheap, and convenient. She wasn't really hungry but she hadn't eaten since morning, and new that she should at least have a few bites. The cashier recognized her the moment she opened the door.

"Detective Beckett! The usual?"

She nodded somberly and paid for her food before taking a seat to wait. The service was fast as usual, and she was soon heading out of the restaurant and cutting through the alleyway to take the shortcut home. She knew it was stupid, cutting through the dark and highly questionable alleyways, but it shortened her walk home by nearly ten minutes, and she always carried her gun anyways. Katherine Beckett could take care of herself.

But on this night her mind wandered to Rick Castle. Rick Castle who had kissed her. Whom she had kissed back. She longed to do it again, yet the thought of it terrified her. She had felt something deep inside her, and it scared the shit out of her. Not that it mattered. She wondered if he would ever even forgive her. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't. She had betrayed him, and he deserved better, deserved someone who wasn't so afraid to love him the way he deserved, and who would always be truthful with him. Some partner she was.

She was taken completely by surprise when the needle was jammed sharply into her side, and the plunger was pushed in all the way by the time she turned to face her attacker. She kicked the tall man in the side, knocking him down, and was going in for more when a thick, muscled arm wrapped itself tightly around her neck from behind, lifting her up and cutting off her airways.

She struggled for breath, gasping, but none came. She swung her legs at her second attacker but hit only air. She clawed at his burly arm, but he didn't even flinch. Again she tried desperately to bring air to her lungs, but none came, and her vision darkened. So she went limp in his arms, and then used his relaxed response to swing her head back hard into his face, smiling at the satisfactorily resounding crack of a broken nose. His grip loosened enough for her to drop to the ground, and she dispatched him with a sweeping kick at his ankles.

Then she turned to face her first attacker but was immediately met with his fist to her face, knocking her backwards. He drew a small knife, and she desperately raised her arm to block it. Redness and pain blossomed on her skin. She jumped to her feet and blocked his next swing with a round kick that knocked the weapon out of his hands. Her next kick, a spinning jump, was aimed at his head. Her attempt was halted mid-jump when he caught her foot, but her body's momentum pulled her around, twisting her ankle until she felt it crack. Fire raced through her. She was surprised when the second attacker caught her body before it hit the ground, and surprised again when she was roughly thrown against the wall of the alley. She felt her head slam into the brick and her body slide down the wall. There was nothing for it but to stand back up but her body disobeyed. Her legs wouldn't move. Neither would the rest of her body. She could only watch her attackers approach as blood dripped into her eyes and her vision blurred until there was nothing but darkness.

Thank you for reading! Let me know if you enjoyed it and I should keep writing!