Obsession

A Kuroshitsuji S&M

~The Raven~

'Hurt'

The young Bocchan was so; words couldn't describe him this morning. So vulnerable but so guarded in his own arrogance that he would not even allow him to be vulnerable, he was a true work of art the way he kept his personality even when being viewed as a child. He was so stubborn; he would always disagree with me on what colour of clothing he would be wearing that day, or what was best during a case. He was so arrogant it was beautiful in every single way.

Today he was wearing black silk shorts that fit the frame of his slender pale legs with a white cotton dress shirt that overlapped his black silk vest with a ribbon around his neck. The black boots that went up to his knees was just right and fit the form of his legs. He looked like a porcelain doll that was made for a king; I of course could never be his king, I wasn't fitting for such a beautiful child. His hair seemed to be holding onto the sides of his face except his bangs which hit just above his brow at the perfect angle.

This obsession was sick; I knew this, but who couldn't be in love with this demonic angel of a boy? He was beautiful and arrogant and ignorant. He may not be innocent or pure but he was perfect, I could have sworn he had a halo but his head was just blocking out part of the sun. This child was the one and only thing I wanted; no needed. He suddenly laughed out of nowhere, "Yes my lord?" I said confused. "Stop staring at me like that you twat." He said snickering at me leaning against his black mahogany cane that had molded gold at the top.

I looked into his eye and I felt my face flush slightly as my eyes widened "What did you call me?" I said as I stared in anger and in passion into his eye. His beautiful sea blue eye that showed sadism in it which was what showed up the most often in in his personality. He looked me dead in the eyes and smirked wickedly "I called you a twat; if you have a problem keep your mouth shut." He said staring at me; if looks could kill I'd be dead.

He swung his cane back and poked me in the chest pushing me back slightly "You really ought not to stare at your master like that, its gross and disturbing." He said pushing me into the wall I looked down at him in disgust; this sick demented child I called master was the one I loved that didn't know how to love back. He had a woman that stood between me being happy, Elizabeth was the mistress of his interest. The way Ciel walked was so elegant and so seductive the way he brought his knees up in a sharp angle before unbending them just to start over again. His face showed disgust with him flaring his nostrils and tensing up the muscles above his mouth.

He was so readable in his expressions; the slightest twitch was magnified by the wrinkle of his perfectly smooth face, I couldn't help but stare in awe at this piece of art that I knew as my Bocchan. He showed every bit of intense hatred for me but I couldn't help but love him, especially after all the things we have been through after these short few years. I wrapped my hand around the cane that was pushing me to the wall and grabbed it away from him "Doesn't the brat know that, even if I do follow your orders; I will be the one ultimately in charge." I said snarling out slightly. His eyes went wide in fear and then he laughed out loud and took the cane out of my head and he whispered in my ear "Stop being such a bitch about everything Sebastian." He said snickering and then laughed out loud then hit me across my face with the cane and showed madness on his face. I had nothing to say to the brat, he was so lucky I didn't raise my hand at him or there would be his intestines on the floor if I did.

This brat always ordered me around so high and mighty, up his own ass you might say; he was all of these things never even once saying 'Thank you' to me for my hard work. So why was I so deeply engrossed with the brat? Not even I knew why I was so interested in him. It was truly unnatural for a grown man to love a child; especially a boy, the brat had no idea of me being fascinated in him. I wouldn't let him know either, I would soon rather die than let him know. I couldn't let him know because if I did, knowing him and his big mouth, he would tell one of the servants or tell Lady Elizabeth, word would get out and then I would have to kill every single last one of them.

I just wanted to be happy, was that so sick to find happiness in the company of another man? I suppose not, I heard a loud sigh escape from my own mouth as I was contemplating my situation of this unrequited love between me and the beautiful, demonic Bocchan. It was sick how he enjoyed my pain; he would hit me with the part of his cane that had to golden mold handled on it. It never really truly hurt but it hurt me on the inside that Bocchan feels free to do so to me. He acts reckless and dumb and doesn't think about others feelings; he needs a slice of humble pie, next time he raises his hand to me I'll return the favor. Who am I kidding, I always say that but I never follow through.

I don't want to hurt Bocchan like that.