A/N: WhatisthisIdon'teven…
Oh, and I have a story! My laptop doesn't acknowledge the internet anymore. So I WAS going to put up an epilogue for On Stalking, and update Fire Within, and update Aftermath and put up the final chapter of Semper, and post a whole new story about an X-men HighSchool Au, but they're all on my laptop. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
In summation: Don't expect any new updates anytime soon, because I have no idea how to transfer this stuff
Also…omgfinalsweekisoverandit'sChristmasbreakandId on'thaveschool! And in History my teacher had a copy of "The History of the World According to Facebook" and then…well, it's not like I have schoolwork to worry over.
Be warned: There is gross historical inaccuracy, Cherik, profanity, and randomness ahead. The first statement is someone posting their own status, then the following are comments on that
Happy Saturnalia everybody! Hope you have a great one.
Charles Xavier has joined facebook
Erik Lensherr has joined facebook
Sean the Awesome has joined facebook
Dr. Hank McCoy has joined facebook
Alex Summers has joined facebook
Raven "Mystique" Xavier has joined facebook
Charles Xavier Kids, don't forget to put your privacy settings high
(Erik Lensherr likes this)
Sean the Awesome Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know, jeez
Dr. Hank McCoy I agree with the Professor! Being careful is important
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Yeah, because injecting an untried formula into your foot is sooooooooo careful
(Alex Summers likes this)
Raven "Mystique" Xavier My outsides are cool, my insides are blue…
Charles Xavier When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change, cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are
Erik Lensherr Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel, like you're less than, less than perfect
Alex Summers You're on the right track baby, you were born that way hey
Sean the Awesome *doesn't know any songs* but you're awesome!
Dr. Hank McCoy Um. I don't know any songs either
Raven "Mystique" Xavier That doesn't surprise me at all
(Alex Summers, Sean the Awesome and Erik Lensherr like this)
Dr. Hank McCoy Ooh, ooh, I got one! I'm blue, dabadee dabadoo!
Alex Summers …
Sean the Awesome lol
Charles Xavier Hank…you know what, I'm not even going to bother
(Erik Lensherr likes this)
Raven "Mystique" Xavier The pure absurdity of that actually made me feel better
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Oh, and you guys are all awesome =)
Sebastian Shaw Erik Lensherr I'm coming for you
Erik Lensherr OMG WTF I PUT A COIN IN YOUR HEAD
Sean the Awesome We're all screwed aren't we?
(Azazel and Janos Quested like this)
Charles Xavier Crap…okay, nobody panic, we can kill him again
Alex Summers Not to distract from the whole "Bad Guy Alive" thing, but who the hell is Janos Quested?
Janos Quested I throw winds at people
Alex Summers Oh, you're the dude with the awesome hair!
(Janos Quested likes this)
Erik Lensherr Can we please focus on the fact that SHAW IS BACK?
Sebastian Shaw lol, it's Emma. I was going to deactive his account since he's dead but I thought it'd be funny to mess with you all first
Erik Lensherr …
Charles Xavier Seriously? You have too much time on your hands
Sebastian Shaw At least I don't spend all my time playing homoerotic chess
Raven "Mystique" Xavier STFU, that chess is fun to watch
Moira McTagger Homoerotic?
Charles Xavier Thank you, Emma.
Sean the Awesome Totally trippin ;)
(Alex Summers likes this)
Sean the Awesome I scored some funny stuff dude, u gotta get to my room!
Charles Xavier Ahem.
Alex Summers He found a new joke book that he wants to show me!
Charles Xavier Boys, I went to college.
Dr. Hank McCoy Busted.
Sean the Awesome LOLZ!
Charles Xavier Oh, dear…Erik, I need some help here
Erik Lensherr changed his relationship status to Married to Charles Xavier
Erik Lensherr changed his name to Erik Xavier
(Sean the Awesome, Alex Summers, Raven "Mystique" Xavier, Dr. Hank McCoy, Janos Quested, Azazel, Emma Frost and Angel Salvadore like this)
Charles Xavier Um. I'm not quite sure how to take this
Charles Xavier Goddammit Raven, get off my account!
Charles Xavier And this is Erik speaking, since my actual account was HACKED!
Raven "Mystique" Xavier =)
Charles Xavier RAVEN
Emma Frost And you people claim Hank is the genius
(Raven "Mystique" Xavier likes this)
Charles Xavier Raven. Give Erik the passwords before he splatters my page with profanity
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Okay okay…I changed it to ConstipatedJazzHands
Charles Xavier …
Azazel lol
ConstipatedJazzHands Charles Xavier How the hell do I change it back?
Charles Xavier I'm not omnipotent, you know
(Emma Frost likes this)
Erik Xavier This is all I could do. Fml.
Sean the Awesome lol
Alex Summers Well it is sorta true…
(Raven "Mystique" Xavier and Dr. Hank McCoy like this)
Charles Xavier *Sigh* Will one of you young people help him with this? He's practically frothing at the mouth, and I don't know how long I can take it.
Raven "Mystique" Xavier You don't even need us to add to the subtext
Dr. Hank McCoy Just delete that account and make another one
Erik Xavier IT WON'T LET ME
Dr. Hank McCoy O.o
Erik Xavier You are not helpful
Charles Xavier There there dear. Have something to eat.
Moira McTaggert Wait, I'm confused.
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Shock
(Alex Summers and Azazel like this)
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Feeling like an evil mastermind
(Azazel likes this)
Erik Xavier You're grounded
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Dislike
Sean the Awesome I just discovered Disney
Dr. Hank McCoy A Spoonful of Sugar Makes the Medicine Go Down
Alex Summers Friend Like Me ;)
Raven "Mystique" Xavier When will my reflection show, who I am inside…
(Azazel and Dr. Hank McCoy like this)
Sean the Awesome Hakuna Matata Raven!
Janos Quested super-cali-fragalistic-expialidocious!
Emma Frost Omg seriously Riptide?
Janos Quested It was necessary
(Sean the Awesome likes this)
Emma Frost Oh what the hell…Be prepared for the coup of a lifetime, be prepared for the murkiest scam, a shining new era, is tiptoeing nearer
Janos Quested You would
Angel Salvadore So, can any of you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Sean the Awesome Only when I'm unda da sea!
Raven "Mystique" Xavier I Won't Say I'm in Love-Okay, so whose theme song is this?
(Azazel likes this)
Dr. Hank McCoy I don't understand how neither of them can feel the love every freaking night
Charles Xavier Great. This again.
Raven "Xavier" Mystique Use a Disney song or you are not allowed to Be Our Guest on this status
(Azazel likes this)
Charles Xavier …without my credit card, you all won't even have the Bare Necessities
Azazel In fairness, Charles is rich and Erik…well, He's a Tramp
Angel Salvadore Just because his financial status is about the equivalent to that of a chim-chiminee chim-chiminee chim chim, cheroo doesn't mean they aren't meant to be
(Alex Summers, Raven "Mystique" Xavier and Sean the Awesome like this)
Erik Xavier WTF are you people talking about?
Alex Summers Okay, everybody together now…New, and a bit alarming, who would have ever thought that this could be? True, Erik's no Prince Charming, but there's something there that Charles simply does see
Sean the Awesome Now, you see him, sitting there across the way, he don't got a lot to say, but there's something about him, and you don't know why but you're dying to try, you wanna, kiss the telepath
Erik Xavier Have you MET Charles? He has PLENTY to say
Dr. Hank McCoy Both a little scared, neither one prepared…
Erik Xavier That doesn't make sense
Raven "Mystique" Xavier You poor unfortunate souls, you really don't get it
Erik Lensherr Fuuuuuuuuuuu
Charles Xavier *sigh* I wish I could be, part of your world…
Erik Xavier WTF?
Erik Xavier *Going to Google this shit*
Erik Xavier Ooooh. Now I'm in a whole new world with you…
Charles Xavier oh
Charles Xavier Ps: You kids? You'll be in my heart.
Erik Xavier Even if you are a spineless pale, pathetic lot, and you haven't got a clue
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Sean the Awesome Highfive
(Everyone in the World likes this)
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Five million bucks says Charles and Erik are married in a week
(Azazel likes this)
Dr. Hank McCoy Okay seriously, am I the only one noticing that Azazel has liked almost EVERY SINGLE ONE of Raven's statuses?
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Aaaand?
(Azazel likes this)
Raven "Mystique" Xavier But srsly, wtf is up with you Azazel?
Azazel I'm red, you're blue. We should make purple.
Dr. Hank McCoy /askfhkjjgdfkgKILL
Alex Summers Boss pick up line
Charles Xavier If you lay a hand on my sister, I will make your brain matter ooze out your ears
(Erik Xavier likes this)
Erik Xavier And I'll riddle your head with holes
(Charles Xavier likes this)
Charles Xavier And I'll turn off all the switches in your brain that allow you to engage in coitus
(Erik Xavier likes this)
Erik Xavier And I'll rip your tail off with my bare hands
(Charles Xavier likes this)
Raven "Mystique" Xavier …I'm never going to have a date in my life, am I?
Dr. Hank McCoy Um, hello?
Charles Xavier No.
Erik Xavier No.
Sean the Awesome …coitus?
Azazel is sort of scared for my life now. This is new.
(Charles Xavier and Erik Xavier like this)
Janos Quested Stick with mutants who don't have overprotective parents.
Emma Frost Young, appealing, Spanish, floppy haired, wind manipulating mutants you mean?
Janos Quested STFU Emma
Moira McTaggert Charles Xavier Um, Charles?
Moira McTaggert Charles? Charles? Charles?
Moira McTaggert Come on, I want to talk to you about some government stuff!
Sean the Awesome Don't bother. He's "playing chess" with Erik
(Raven "Mystique" Xavier and Alex Summers like this)
Moira McTaggert Why are there quotation marks?
Emma Frost Oh, honey…
Dr. Hank McCoy figured out this awesome new serum!
Raven "Mystique" Xavier …please tell me you're kidding
Dr. Hank McCoy No, this one will work! It's for the Professor, to help stop the headaches he gets from using Cerebro!
Charles Xavier Hank, are you absolutely sure about this?
Dr. Hank McCoy Totally! It's foolproof
Charles Xavier Dr. Hank McCoy HANK.
Dr. Hank McCoy Huh?
Erik Xavier Your serum fails
Alex Summers Like no one saw THAT coming…
(Raven "Mystique" Xavier likes this)
Angel Salvadore What happened?
Sean the Awesome OMG YOU GUYS I JUST SAW HIM HE'S BALD
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Oh my gawd…
Azazel Sign of the Apocalypse, just sayin'
Janos Quested Am I now the only one with awesome hair?
Emma Frost LOL!
Hot Blonde # 2 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Erik Xavier Fix. Now.
Erik Xavier Also, who the hell is she?
Hot Blonde # 2 Charles hit on me in a bar once. His hair persuaded me to go home with him despite the crap pick-up lines
(1298 people like this)
Erik Xavier Back off, bitch.
Sean the Awesome Hisssss
(Alex Summers and Dr. Hank McCoy like this)
Charles Xavier Oh dear Lord…Erik, she's a perfectly nice girl and if you want to kill every single person I've ever hit on in a bar, you are going to have a LONG list. Now get back into the bedroom and comfort me.
(Raven "Mystique" Xavier likes this)
Raven "Mystique" Xavier That bar thing? So true.
Alex Summers Yeah, get some!
Sebastian Shaw Lol, there are so many hilarious pictures of us drunk in this account
Erik Xavier Quit using that account, I don't need to see Shaw popping up in my notifications
Charles Xavier Emma, you're upsetting him. Quit it.
Sebastian Shaw No. This is fun.
Sean the Awesome trolololol
(Erik Xavier likes this)
Emma Frost Shut up, ginger!
Sean the Awesome Gingers rock.
Emma Frost Soulless freaks
Charles Xavier Hey! No calling any of the kids freaks!
Emma Frost What are you going to do about it?
Charles Xavier I've got a powerful telepathic mutation and Cerebro. Use your imagination.
(Erik Xavier likes this)
Emma Frost I'd like to see you try
Charles Xavier Bring it, bitch.
Azazel Shit is about to go down.
(Raven "Mystique" Xavier, Dr. Hank McCoy, Sean the Awesome, Erik Xavier, Alex Summers and Janos Quested like this)
Charles Xavier added new album Stupid Things People Do When I Telepathically Control Them
Janos Quested O.O What is she…
Janos Quested XD This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Azazel, come see!
Emma Frost How much do you want to take those down?
Charles Xavier No more bullying my children.
Emma Frost Alright alright!
Azazel Emma Frost I TOLD you not to mess with the overprotective parents
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Charles Xavier Cwedit Card Pwease? I need new clothes
Charles Xavier Sigh…yes dear.
Erik Xavier CHARLES!
Charles Xavier Look, at least she's not wandering around naked
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Or wearing a cardigan every single day
(Emma Frost likes this)
Charles Xavier Go bother Erik, his entire wardrobe consists of a bunch of turtlenecks
Erik Xavier Turtlenecks ROCK
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Notice how nobody liked that.
Emma Frost As the one who finally got the Hellfire club wearing Armani suits (Riptide would frolic about in poolboy shorts all the time if no one stopped him), I agree with Raven. Turtlenecks must be used in moderation.
(Raven "Mystique" Xavier likes this)
Sean the Awesome Um, you guys do know that the Prof. is wearing one of Erik's turtlenecks now, right?
Emma Frost …
Raven "Mystique" Xavier …
Janos Quested What's wrong with poolboy shorts?
Azazel Nothing. Also, notice how I restrained from commenting on Raven's nudity?
Charles Xavier And keep it that way. And I was out of clean laundry, since it was Sean's day to do laundry and Sean decided he would vanish for an afternoon.
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Riiiiiight.
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Anyway Emma, what do you recommend for my shopping spree?
Emma Frost Budget?
Raven "Mystique" Nonexistent
Erik Xavier No, it's not. You'll end up maxing the card
Charles Xavier ...probably not
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Lol, you have no idea.
Alex Summers we do live in a castle
Dr. Hank McCoy Yeah, how much money does the Professor actually have?
Alex Summers And how did he get it?
Charles Xavier Pfft, please.
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Guys, I'm trying to have a conversation. Unless you have something helpful to contribute about fashion, gtfo
(Emma Frost likes this)
Emma Frost For Charles you definitely want something blue, to bring out his eyes, but Erik is tougher…dark colors, I think, and solids.
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Hmm, yes. I'm torn about red though.
Emma Frost Have you seen either in winter colors? I think Charles would look just ravishable, but Erik could only pull of some of the schemes
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Really? I always thought of Charles as a spring.
Alex Summers …can you two PLEASE move this to private messaging?
(Charles Xavier, Erik Xavier, Sean the Awesome, Azazel, Janos Quested and Dr. Hank McCoy like this)
Sean the Awesome Erik Xavier Dad! You were supposed to be here to help us clean out the attic an hour ago!
Alex Summers Ikr! Late much?
Erik Xavier A mutant is never late. He arrives precisely when he means to.
(Charles Xavier likes this)
Charles Xavier :D
Sean the Awesome Dad? Dad? DAD?
Sean the Awsome Mom? Moooooooom! Moooooooooooooooom?
Alex Summers I'm guessing they're going to be unavailable for awhile…
Erik Xavier Will someone explain to me why people who aren't genetically related to me are now referring to me in a paternal manner?
Charles Xavier At least you aren't the mother
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Oh lord…look. You're married. You look after us. Thus parents.
(Dr. Hank McCoy, Alex Summers and Sean the Awesome like this)
Janos Quested Still doesn't explain why the Prof. is a girl
Dr. Hank McCoy My room is right next to theirs. I'll explain in a pm.
Charles Xavier World's Best Carpenters I need to talk to you about soundproofing
Moira McTaggert OMG I get it now!
Raven "Mystique" Xavier Finally.
Moira McTaggert Charles and Erik are always working on Cerebro!
Raven "Mystique" Xavier *headdesk*
Moira McTaggert Kidding.
Sean the Awesome wait what
Moira McTaggert You do realize that I work for the CIA? I had this figured out months ago.
(Raven Xavier likes this)
Sean Cassidy *slow clap for trolling skills*
Moira McTaggert you ain't seen nothing yet
Moira McTaggert created new page Cherik Lovers United
(Raven Xavier and 87693 others like Cherik Lovers United)
Charles Xavier How did...Argh.
A/N: I don't even understand this. Please review anyway?
Disclaimer: I don't own MARVEL, or facebook (duh) or Disney, or P!nk or Bruno Mars (I don't even like him) or Lady Gaga or whoever the heck came up with the "I'm blue" song.