AN: just needed to write something Destiel related because I can't get them out of my head ever since we found out that Misha's coming back:P I really wish he could have come back for a Christmas episode; I seriously just can't stop seeing Cas and Dean under the mistletoe and just alksdjf;lkajsdflk;jasdf (dramatic sigh because SERA GAMBLE)

Anyway, I haven't written a song-fic in a REALLY long time (if ever), and they're not my favorite, so please excuse any little silly mistakes that may have been made on my part!

The song is All Fall Down by OneRepublic, and I'd seriously consider listening along while you read:)

Disclaimer: Sadly, the rights to Supernatural do not, and never will, belong to me:(

All Fall Down

Step out the door and it feels like rain
That's the sound on your window pane

They don't celebrate the holidays. When they were little and dad was off on a hunt or just picking up the pieces and they had to exchange presents carved from wood or painted in charcoal from the fireplace, sure, but not now.

Not when they're somewhere over thirty and the world very clearly isn't ending, so they don't have to tie up loose ends or fix the past with new memories.

And maybe Dean's just bitter, but that doesn't fix the confusion as his eyes widen to take in the dizzying lights and the giant, leaning Christmas tree. Ornaments hang from every free branch – splashes of red and green and gold and the reflection of hundreds of lights. Stockings hang from the wall, arranged so neatly that a ruler must have been used to measure the spaces between.

As if that's not all weird enough, there are three stockings. His first thought, of course, is Bobby, but he's been gone for months now, and that's a hard pill to swallow so he looks away, shaking it off.

Take to the streets but you can't ignore
That's the sound you're waiting for

Sam's there, of course, smiling and with a beer in his hand. "You like it?"

Dean doesn't know what to say. There are words, of course; words like How could you? and Fuck this I'm going to the bar. But he doesn't say them because there will always be a part of him that wants to like what Sam likes just to see his baby brother happy. As small as that part may be.

You feel that your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down

"Sammy, what's going on here? How'd you even do all this? I was gone for, like, two hours!" Dean runs a hand through his hair and looks at the floor.

Sam shrugs his shoulders and examines the stockings, although Dean misses it. "I had some help."

"From who?"

"Your present."

"My…"

"Hello, Dean."

He freezes.

It's like the floor is falling, like the room is spinning, like he's tumbling towards the ground, like his heart is breaking and reattaching itself with every beat, like he's dying.

He's not used to this, never was. Not then, not now. His veins are on fire, and he doesn't know if he should be angry or grateful or just fucking broken.

"C-Cas?" he stutters, and he guesses this is where he's broken, where he never thinks he'll be put back together because this has to be a dream.

"I'm here, Dean."

And then he's there. He's everywhere.

Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's when you find me.

He's wrapping Dean up in his arms, and Dean starts crying like a baby because this is Cas. He doesn't see Sam grab his coat and leave because Cas.

It all starts with this angel. It was supposed to end with him, too. But, no, he's here. Alive and breathing. Dean can touch him.

The hunter barely registers the fact that he's tracing his fingers all over the angel's face, desperately seeking for some sign that this isn't a dream while sketching Cas' features over his heart so that he never, ever forgets.

"I'm here, Dean," Cas whispers. "You can touch me. I'm real."

"Y-you can't be…I saw…The Leviathans…they…"

"We'll talk about all that later. But I'm here, Dean. I'm here."

Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones
Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below

There are so many questions, so many words, so many emotions. He wants to punch Castiel and hug Castiel and shove him away and pull him close and make him leave and never let him go. He doesn't understand why his heart is aching or why he's crying like mom died all over again, but if feels like the world is ending, and he actually wouldn't care if it was because at least he's in this angel's arms.

"Cas, Cas, Castiel." He says the name over and over again because he hasn't said it – hasn't even thought it – in so, so long. "Cas, Cas, Cas."

The angel winds his fingers through Dean's hair and buries his face in the hunter's neck. "Do you know how long I've waited for this? How long I've yearned just to be near you again? I've missed you, Dean. My soul was not the same while I was away."

Everyone's the same
Our fingers to our toes

Dean doesn't know what this means, what this really means. This ache, these words – they make sense but they don't because he's not used to this and never wanted to be.

"I-I've missed you, too. God, Cas, I've missed you," he sobs. Because he's never really cried over the angel, because he's never really told anyone – even himself, sometimes – how bad it hurt. The walls that had always been there only grew stronger when the angel went away, preventing even Bobby's death from chipping at his already broken heart.

But now it's all coming out. And there's nothing he can do to stop it.

We just can't get it right
But we're on the road

Somewhere in the middle of it all, their lips meet, and it's all that Dean never wanted but always, secretly did. Cas doesn't know what he's doing, so Dean leads it all until their tongues are twirling and their teeth are clashing because they're both so angry and broken and happy that they don't know what else to do.

The angel places his hands over Dean's heart and smiles into the kiss. He wants to do many, many things to make up for all that he has destroyed, but now is not the time. Dean is not the only one with a broken heart. They need time to heal. He wants Dean to make these decisions with a clear head.

"Dean, I-I…"

"God, just…just shut up!"

Dean tugs at Cas' shirt until they're pressed so close together that every heartbeat is felt through the thin fabric of their clothes. "You've been gone for so long," he practically whimpers. "You don't get to put space between us anymore. Not ever again."

If ever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down

Cas wants to cry. He wants to show Dean the world and never let go of the hunter's hand. He wants this to be forever and ever and ever, but Dean is only a human, and he's barely even an angel anymore. His power cannot save them. His power cannot keep the Winchesters breathing for as long as he once swore he would.

But he will make the best of what he has left and show Dean the love he's always deserved but never really had.

Their fingers intertwine as they press their palms together, and they press quick, heartfelt kisses all over each other's faces.

Dean may not understand, he may never want to settle down, and he'll probably screw this up somehow, but he's never felt more whole.

This angel completes him.

"Cas…"

"Dean."

"Merry Christmas, you son of a bitch."

"Merry Christmas, Dean."

Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's when you find me.