A big, fat HELLOOOOO dearies! :3 This is Senbei signing in! :D Ahhh I swear, this new fanfic - I have had this idea since writing 'Of Words Unspoken' and golly gosh, this one had me going nuts because it's so...blurry? Eh well, I've had to rewrite and fix up the chappies so many damn times because I kept coming up with new ideas and whatnot blah! I kind of noticed that my fanfics had a general 'fuwa-fuwa, cutie-crap' pattern to them so I decided to change this one a bit? I think? Well, I hope it works out :D NOTE: NATSU MAY OR MAY NOT BE SEVERELY OOC AT TIMES. Majority of events mentioned in relation to the kindergarteners are REAL and have happened at some point in time to either me or Mangascribbler's mum.
Special mentions toooo:
Mira (ShiningStellar): I swear, you bring magic to every FT author I know! Your reviews are just so fantabulous/awesome/epic and kind of make me want to go in the corner and laugh creepily to myself...:D Except I'm too lazy to move my lazy ass there so I do it in the public eye (Crud. Social suicide much?) Anyhow, a very, MERRY XMAS TO YOU! :D
Kara (Mangascribbler): Ahhh where would this fanfic be without you? XD You are an awesome writer, a lovely provider of ideas (Say thanks to your mum for me hahaha), a pm buddy who makes me go TEEHEEHEE and most importantly, AN INSTANT BOX BUDDY! :D I wish you a VERY MERRY XMAS!
Amanda (Mrs. HopeEstheim): What to say, what to say? YOU IS AWESOME WRITER, ME LIKES! :D Gosh, I swear you will kill me one of these days (Or at least turn me into some Hermit living in the mountains) - y'know with all those emotional ideas of yours etc it's kind of hard to keep the water works in XD I hope you have a gloriously epic Christmas :3
Lucia and Jaz: Can you people please get your butts back onto fanfiction? XD I shall facebook threaten you - Anyhow, hope you guys have a fantabulous XMAS!
BonBon-bubbles and Cup Ramen: THANK YOU HEAPS FOR LISTENING TO MY FANFIC RANTS 24/7! Half of these awesome ideas are from you guys so! :3
This is a Christmas present from me to you lovely readers so really...I might just be winging this one a bit because I have to get into the xmas spirit (and attempt to be santa-ish) and upload the first chappy before Christmas ends!
Discalimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. That is all!
Natsu squinted as his finger hovered shakily over a map. A.S.S kindergarten. A.S.S kindergarten. A.S.S kindergarten. Where the frick- Oh wait, there it was…So now all he had to do was walk straight ahead , turn right, take the stairs and…Actually, how on Earthland did he end up in this situation in the first place? He stroked his imaginary beard. Oh right!
Long story short, he kind of nearly killed Lucy and their client who they were supposed to protect. Yeah, that. More like, it started with a flour mill and a spark, followed with a spontaneous combustion and ended with an unconscious Lucy who was teetering on the brink of death (or so Levy said but she was probably exaggerating because Lucy was up and running two hours later). And then there was Erza and the master and the rest of the guild and shit happened because now he and Lucy had to work as assistant teachers for the Kindergarten for a week (It was actually a prep but that was the same as kindergarten, right?). 'Collective responsibility' the old man called it. Natsu shrugged, it couldn't be that ba-
"Natsu! There you are!" Lucy panted as she caught up to him, breaking his train of thought.
"Yo Luce!" He gave her a two-finger salute.
"Don't 'yo Luce' me!" She cried, jabbing him in the chest and shooting him a death glare.
"Do you know what you've done?" She seethed through clenched teeth, causing him to raise his arms in defence. What's with the sudden mood swing?
"I nearly killed you…and stuff?" He squeaked, hoping she'd let him off the hook already.
"Yeah but that's not important," Lucy waved it off like a normal occurrence, much to his dismay.
"The point is, Natsu," She paused, taking a deep breath.
"You have gotten us into deep, deep shit."
"I have?" He raised a brow, slightly surprised by her choice of words – she was kind of slightly OOC but the monthlies tended to do that to you so he waved it off.
"Yes, yes you have. Do you have any idea what kind of academy this is?"
"A.S.S? It kind of sounds like ass without the dots, if that's what you mean." He supplied with a giggle, earning him another death glare from her.
"No, Natsu." Lucy tried to not kill him on the spot as she delivered her explanation in slow-mo (Because she needed to make sure that he understood the horrible situation they were in).
"The A.S.S academy is actually one of the most-"
"YOU TWO!" They heard a high shrill from the corner, followed by a series of randomly sounding 'clack' noises that spelled 'I am wearing Stilettos and am dying'. Wincing, the two turned to face a wrinkly, old bag whose overly-tight bun lifted her eyebrows and creased skin.
"Yes?" Lucy inspected the woman from head to toe and immediately braced herself for the soon-to-come lecture. She had 'winged' red glasses that rested on her high nose bridge and her cracked make-up only made her wrinkly skin more noticeable. And her fashion, the woman looked like she came from Hogwarts - A shoulder-padded purple blouse with frilly sleeves, an ankle-length black skirt, black stockings and polished, black 6-inch heels…Jesus Christ, she looked like an evil slimmed-down, saggy, Master Bob with a wig on…Okay, okay, there wasn't exactly anyone (or anything for that matter) to compare her to.
"This is the A.S.S academy." She spoke, her voice nasal and sharp. Silence.
"Err...Cool story bro?" And suddenly Lucy felt like running off to Mt Hakobe to seek refuge with the Vulcans.
"What vulgar language." The monstrosity (As Lucy had swiftly decided to nickname her) wrinkled her nose in disgust, only to earn a half-hearted shrug from Natsu.
She attempted to intimidate the pair by narrowing her eyes.
"I am confused as to why a blonde prostitute and a…Pink-panther, Aladdin hybrid have decided to step foot into this prestigious academy."
"We're from Fairy Tail." Natsu replied dryly, waving the request sheet in front of her face, confused when she smirked degradingly at them.
"Oh." Her mocking tone made Lucy feel like knocking her front teeth out (She was not a prostitute!) but she decided against it.
"In that case," She continued, with a new sense of superiority.
"I'd have to question what on Earth the principal was thinking, seeking the help of Fairy Tail mages of all things! Goodness, for such an excellent academy as ours, magic holds little to no value." The monstrosity announced like the pretentious hag she was.
"What do you mean no value?" Natsu raised a brow, confused.
"Why of course, A.S.S is an N-zone." Her overly red lips set into another smirk as she observed the dragonslayer's eyes widen in shock and the blonde let out an exasperated sigh.
"Now do you understand your situation?" She continued, dominance dripping in her voice.
"What's an N-zone?" Lucy face-palmed and the monstrosity choked on her spit (not that she'd ever admit to committing such a blunder).
"Natsu, it's an area that is unaffected by magic." She sighed, brows creased.
"Oh."
The monstrosity readjusted her glasses.
"Hmph. Only 10% of Earthland's population are mages – Such a figure would undoubtedly affect the social pyramid and so as to avoid such situations, we have wisely decided to nullify all effects of magic- of course, with the assistance and permission of the magic council."
Lucy placed a hand on her hips, turning the tables seemed appealing.
"So basically, mages are considered as outcasts here?" She spoke in the tone she used when she was in the Heartfilia residence, effectively rendering the woman speechless.
"I-if that's how you see it but it's all in the name of equality." She stuttered, cursing silently at her weak argument.
"Wow, that's stupid."
"Shut your pie hole. Anyhow, you are expected to attend tomorrow – in proper attire." She scanned Lucy and Natsu, face contorting in disapproval. "I can't believe I'm doing this." The monstrosity hissed under her breath, not caring if the two mages heard her.
"And that means none of that." She pointed at their outfits before continuing her rant.
"Work starts at 6am and you are expected to work for 10 hours per day. Lunch is not provided and you are to know all of this." The monstrosity dug through her purse and shoved two piles of paper into their hands.
"They outline the medical procedures you are to perform under certain circumstances – I have the medical records of all the children - have them all memorised by tomorrow and here are the schedules you are to follow." She glared at Natsu when he groaned.
"For knowledge's sake, my name is Ms Bernadetter-Wilhel-Massimiliano and I am the head of the A.S.S kindergarten department…" She supplied arrogantly.
"Ms Burger-Weiner-Max?" Natsu looked at her awkwardly.
"But as for you two, you may call me Ms Bernadetter-Wilhel-Massimiliano." Bernadetter-Wilhel-Massimiliano declared, nose in the air.
Natsu turned to face Lucy, an expression of raw fear plastered on his face (Because their employer was a lunatic).
"Luce, what were you saying before?"
"I was saying that the A.S.S academy is actually one of the most snotty, stuck-up schools in Magnolian history filled with rich, pretentious kids and the like and as you can see, the teachers aren't much different."
"…"
"God save me."
"No, God save us."
"AND," Natsu and Lucy's eyes darted to the woman who once again, scrutinised them with a pointed gaze. What did she want now?
"No inter-work relationships other than that of colleagues. You are now officially – even though it's only for a week, workers of the A.S.S academy after all." Bernadetter spat at the two, orbs locked onto the flabbergasted pair. "Fat chance anyway…Looks like a married couple already."
"Hey!"
PLEASE REVIEW! It would be the ultimate christmas present! :D Ahh I have got 20% of chappy four done but yesh...I do not know when chappy 2 will be uploaded because I want to re-read it all...again. :D Also, this chappy was really short in comparison to the following three so teehee! PERK! AN EARLY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!
Small daily happenings:
Cup Ramen and I: Ahh Uni next year ey'...;D
BonBon-Bubbles: ...Are you guys still going to live here? :O
Us: ...What the hell are you on about? You want us to live on the streets on something?