Author's Note: Hello everyone ^_^. Season's greetings, or whatever it is people say around the holidays. This was done for a DAWC Christmas/Wintersend challenge; although I'm not really sure it counts. I decided to take it literally and write about the coming of spring…in more ways than one. My latest Origins play through is of a male Dalish elf, Lucian, and that is what inspired me to write this piece.
Speaking of which, he's mine. Dragon Age is not /sadface.
Spring
The forest was singing tonight.
Owls emerged from their daytime slumber. Deer wandered this way and that. Fallen branches and last year's leaves crackled beneath hooves, crickets chirping a somber tune as fireflies lit the starless night. They tickled his nose as they flitted past his face, his legs, settled into his hair in greetings to an old friend. They held him close as a mother might her child, and he knew he was home when he let himself fall into the earth's embrace.
Lucian caressed the grass beneath his fingers as he watched the fireflies dance across the sky, black hair fanning around his head like a halo, grey-blue eyes sparkling with mirth as he took in the sights of early spring. He was yet young among his people – a boy of sixteen with starlit eyes and wistful dreams, and yet he truly appreciated the splendor of this glorious, mysterious world. A world most touched upon, yet hardly knew.
Look! There was a buck with horns as long as his arm; a proud sight, disappearing in the shadows. A doe; speckled, beautiful and heavy with child. Squirrels were settling into their trees. Rabbits crawled back to their holes and buried themselves for the night. He even heard the cries of a cicada, to his shock – quite unusual for this time of year – and he shivered as a gust of wind swept through the clearing, biting into his flesh. It was still technically winter after all, though slowly, the bitter cold was giving way to spring, and he found that he could endure the weather with very little discomfort. The snow had only just melted weeks ago, and yet the forest was already alive again. He could feel his blood thrumming with excitement!
Vaguely, he registered a voice calling his name in the distance. Yes, he supposed his brethren had probably noticed his absence by now, but it wasn't at all unusual for them to find him hiding somewhere deep within the wilderness. If it was something important, they would persist. If not, then they could just – now what was it he'd heard the shemlen say once? Ah, yes. They could just sod off.
Nodding with satisfaction, Lucian settled once more into the grass, thoughts of distant human cities floating around in his head. What was it like there, he wondered? Were there more incredible things to see like the sights before him? Splendors he had yet to behold? He had heard how badly elven servants were treated by the shem of course, but was it like that everywhere?
No. Of course not. That would be the same as saying every elf hated humans, and that certainly wasn't true. He couldn't speak for others, but Lucian could honestly say he didn't hate them, at the very least. How could you feel one way or another towards people you know nothing about?
More and more often, he found himself thinking of issues such as this. The older Lucian grew, the more he felt torn. He loved his life with the Dalish. The thought of leaving scared him a bit, even if it was exhilarating to consider.
His was a secretive race; ancient and proud. That was what he'd always been taught. There was no reason to desire knowledge of anything else. Shemlen were the enemy. That was all you needed to know. The Dales had fallen because of them thousands of years ago, and everyone knew that if Dalish elves had anything, it was their heritage.
Heritage that told them to hate. Heritage that told them to shun. Heritage that told them to fear. And because of this narrow way of thinking, it was their way or no way. You were either with them or against them, and Lucian hated that.
Why shouldn't he be allowed to have both? Why should he have to stick with one or the other just because it was what normal people did? He never wanted to become old, bitter, and set in his ways like the elders. True, humans had driven them out of their rightful homes. Also true that those very same humans were treating the Elvhen unfairly to this day, but how was that going to change if they refused to change? The heroes of legend didn't save civilization by standing around doing what society expected of them.
Lucian huffed, frustrated. He knew it was strange for someone as young as he, but he wanted to see the world. He wanted more. Far more than what his humble clan could offer him.
Was it wrong to think that? Was he selfish? Was he crazy?
This dilemma was steadily beginning to keep him up at night, much to his dismay. That was why on such nights, he would lose himself in the beauteous nature around him; in the sky and the stars; the animals and the trees. After a while, his heart would ease.
After a while, he would almost feel complete again.
Lucian could never really keep track of how long he stayed out here and this time was no different; hours, days, weeks…who knew? Eventually though, he heard footsteps approaching, and he sighed with irritation as he sat up, tempted to tell whoever it was to take a flying leap from the nearest cliff.
However, to his everlasting astonishment, it was Keeper Marethari. Well, so much for telling her to off herself. Even he wasn't that daring.
"There you are, da'len. I thought I might find you here." He felt a twinge of guilt at the worry lines creasing the old woman's forehead, but not for long. She worried about everyone. That was her job.
"Greetings, Keeper. I'm a little surprised to see you. A bit past your bedtime, is it not? If you could refrain from breaking any of those old bones while in my care, I'd be much obliged. I don't enjoy the idea of carrying someone to camp on my back, if it's all the same to you."
Keeper Marethari snorted, shaking her head with exasperation. Many would have been appalled at the way he'd just spoken to her, but, well…he'd never been all that interested in pleasing people. Besides, she loved it. He could see it in the way her dark eyes shone with amusement.
"You're an insufferable brute, Lucian," she quipped, face breaking into a smile. Suddenly she no longer seemed so old, but unfortunately for him, that flash of youthful mischief was soon gone. Her trademark steel easily took its place mere seconds later.
He resisted the urge to gulp.
"In all seriousness, you're going to get hurt one of these days, wandering off by yourself in the dead of night. You aren't a full-fledged hunter yet, lethallin." Her eyes were stern, narrowed into slits. Ugh. What was the big deal anyway? He'd just wanted a bit of privacy for a while. Was that too much to ask?
"I may not be a hunter yet, but how will I ever become one if I am not permitted to travel by myself? Besides, there is no danger here. The animals are my friends. They'll not harm me."
"It is not a question of whether they will harm you. Shemlen bandits wander this area often of late, and I'd hate for you to get caught up in their path," she replied, keeping her eyes steadily trained on him as she sat. "There are also wolves in the area. You know this. You would be easy prey if they were to happen upon you, misty-eyed and staring off into nothing."
Lucian scowled and rolled his eyes, but nevertheless complied with her wishes. He supposed she had a point. "Ma nuvenin, Keeper. I understand. I'll be more careful in the future."
"That's good to hear."
Lucian hesitated for a moment, but only just. She was always indulgent of his questions, so it couldn't hurt to ask. Right?
"Keeper?"
"Yes, child?"
"What do you think of humans? Are they evil like most people say?"
He heard a surprised intake of breath, though many would not have noticed, it was so slight.
Marethari sighed mournfully. "Always with the questions. Is that what you've been thinking about?"
Lucian nodded, if a bit sheepishly, but said nothing. Perhaps this was a mistake, but he had to talk to someone or he might spontaneously combust someday soon, and nobody wanted that. Well, he didn't. Everyone else was debatable.
Marethari was silent for a time. Though he couldn't quite read her expression, he thought she looked lost, and perhaps a little sad. He wasn't sure what to make of that, but she didn't seem angry, which was something.
"No. No, I think not. It goes without saying that there has been quite a bit of bad blood between our two races, but I do not believe either one is irredeemable. However, it is…difficult. The problem is hard to approach, let alone discuss."
"Do you think we could ever be friendly? Come to some kind a solution and just get along? We fight and we fight and we carry on about each other, but where does it get us? Nowhere. Nothing. It's stupid. It's childish and stupid. I want them to see this. Everything." He gestured with his arms to the land around them, passion moving his speech onward farther than he'd ever thought possible. What was he saying? This was impertinent, even for him. Some might call it blasphemy.
Nevertheless, he found he could no longer hold his tongue.
"I want them to see our world and for us to see theirs. This narrow society we isolate ourselves in is not enough! Why haven't we made an effort? Why have people stayed so set in their ways? It's foolish, cowardly, and just plain wrong. Now is the time for a change, Keeper. I can make it happen if you won't. I can, and I will."
His voice dissolved and faded into nothingness, before he even had time to realize that he'd basically just told his leader he thought their ways were a load of crap. The entire world was quiet, or so it seemed to the mortified elf. Even his beloved animals held their breath.
Then Keeper Marethari's laughter broke the air, and to his shock, she took him in her arms as if he were a babe again.
Lucian didn't know how long he stayed like that, stunned into silence, wrapped in the embrace of his unmovable Keeper as the trees kept vigil over them. But he did know that when she pulled away her eyes were filled with tears, and she caressed his cheek lovingly, as his mother might have were she still alive.
The faintest vestiges of dawn broke across the sky as he struggled to fathom the emotions she conveyed to him - gentle, yet intense. Hopeful, yet hopeless. Curious, and all knowing, and a host of other contradictory things he couldn't begin to name.
Her next words meant everything and yet they meant nothing. For years, he would ponder them and try to understand.
It would take him that long to realize that he never would.
"Ma serannas, da'len. I see the future in your eyes, and in your eyes, I see the spring."
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I must say, Lucian is a lot of fun to write. He's dreamy, impulsive, kind-hearted yet brash, endlessly curious, with just a hint of snarky asshole sprinkled in. Perfect ^_^. I believe he'd be a great match for Zevran. I think that's what I'll do *nods*
I doubt most of you need this, but I'm going to include it anyway:
Dalish Words
Da'len: little child
Lethallin: clansmen
Ma nuvenin: as you wish
Ma serannas: thank you