Hey everybody. This story was written for lowi's "The Title Challenge." Hope you like it- it's not perfect, but I tried :) R&R please,
Love, Pheonixandholly
Drilling Through Your Head
Lily Evans is blushing. It's not an unusual occurrence, of course. Her pale skin threatens to tinge pink at the slightest provocation at the best of times. The praise of a teacher, the attention of a classroom when she answers yet another question correctly…Lily Evans is known to blush.
The unusual thing is what's making her blush as she's buttering her toast on this particular Friday morning.
She knew it would come to this, if she were to be completely honest with herself. But she's still in denial about the whole problem itself, really. She swore to herself never to fall for that infamous smirk or incorrigible hair. But the second she had looked up from her seat in the Head's compartment on September first, she knew she was toast.
She sighs and focuses on her toast once more. Breathing deeply and attempting to turn her attention to something that is not James Potter's stare, she wills the characteristic flush in her cheeks to subside.
Finally conceding defeat, she excuses herself from her friends and walks out of the Great Hall, still wholly aware of the hazel eyes following her journey. The chilly draft of the Entrance Hall startles her, and reminds her once more of the Hogsmeade trip the following day.
She never meant to fall for him. Really, she hadn't. After that infamous day at the lake back at the end of fifth year, she had sworn she'd never speak to him again, let alone befriend him. But that had changed last year. They had both changed, both grown. But she was sure friends was all they'd ever be. He had seemed to give up on making her his next girlfriend, and she had been content to replace the hole Severus had made with James and the other Marauders.
Looking back on the past two months though, Lily Evans can only shrug. She isn't surprised anymore, just unsure of the next step. There's no mystery, no revelation as to why she's fallen for him. Because for the last two months, James Potter has been drilling through her head a million reasons why she's completely heads over heels for him.
It had all started over the summer, she supposed. Both had received Head badges- one with relief, the other with utter confusion. He had written to her under Remus' instruction after finally being convinced that the badge was not a hoax. One letter lead to another, and the two easily fell into a regular correspondence. They had grown close over their sixth year and so the letters were not unusual or stilted. She found herself confiding in James, eagerly anticipating his response each time she sent off his handsome owl with another letter.
It was the night before their last September first departure before she really noticed anything. As she pored over the untidy scrawl and reached the final sentence, it hit her. See you tomorrow, it said. And her heart promptly leaped into a rather uncomfortable spot in her throat as her stomach decided to play host to a cloud of butterflies.
But she wasn't screwed yet, she told herself firmly. Until she glanced up from her book in the plush interior of the Head's compartment and saw those hazel eyes smiling at her. And promptly flushed pink with the realization that yes, she was screwed.
The sudden rush of blood to her cheeks became familiar to Lily in the next few weeks. When she found out that the Head students shared a tower, she had initially sighed in relief. Surely living with the boy would reveal too many disgusting tendencies and annoying habits to keep up this sudden infatuation.
But it turned out that he was the perfect dorm mate in every way. He woke her up every morning without fail, kept the bathroom tidier than she did, never failed to pick up after the hurricane that was Sirius and Peter when they dropped in to visit.
He was the perfect choice for a Head, too. He never missed a meeting, always broke up fights in the hallways, and even drew up prefect schedules when she fell asleep over her Arithmancy homework late at night.
It had never dawned on her how alike they were before. Now she saw it- how studious and hard working he was, how friendly and trustworthy. He was better than her in some ways, too. James was even more fiercely loyal and fiery than she was, and never failed to pull off everything with excellence and a dashing smile.
He was perfect. She almost marveled at the fact that he had fancied her. But because they were just friends and she didn't want to mess anything up, she left good enough alone.
It had been two months now, however, and as the Hogsmeade weekend drew nearer, the time for a decision was near.
That first month she had assumed that James Potter was over her. But in the next few weeks, his unchanged feelings finally became clear to her. They had never really disappeared, she supposed, but she had been willing to ignore them. Now, however, they were too obvious to doubt.
First she noticed the way his eyes never left her when she entered a room. When she chanced a look at them she was startled to see the hazel eyes so full of emotion. Those had been easy enough to brush off because she didn't want to hope too hard.
Until she noticed the next thing. Instead of knocking on her door as he always had, he now entered her room and gently nudged her sleeping form until she gained consciousness and stopped snuggling into his touch. She found she didn't mind the intrusion in the least, and looked forward to the morning routine.
Everything came together at last. She noticed how he walked her to every class and never failed to take the heavy books from her arms. She finally realized what the furiously whispered conversations with his friends were about. She saw his glare and slight flush whenever Sirius or Peter or Remus broached the subject. She noticed how he wore his Gryffindor jumper almost every day since she had told him she liked it, and how he never missed the chance to be the one to hug and comfort her when she was too overwhelmed.
She had known the decision was coming soon. But not this soon.
"Evans!"
Drat. She walks a little faster through the deserted hallway.
"Evans!"
She can't stop herself from glancing back at him this time. But as quickly as she catches a glimpse of him hurrying after her, she turns around and continues onward. It isn't that she's denying her feeling, she tells herself.
"Lily!"
It's just that she's a little too scared to admit them to anyone but herself. She turns the corner, cursing the fact that she decided to take the long way to Transfiguration, when she feels herself grabbed from behind and stuffed unceremoniously inside a broom closet. She smiles slightly at his persistence.
"Jesus, Lil, did you have to make me chase you all the way over here and stick you in a closet just so you'd listen?"
She grins up at him cheekily and instantly regrets her decision to do so. Because seeing his hazel eyes sparkling down at her only causes her face to turn an embarrassing shade of pink. "Listen to what?" she manages weakly.
James laughs, albeit a little nervously. "Like you don't know. So I'm going to ask you one last time- will you go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?"
The simple question, asked so many times before, hangs in the musty air between them. Lily can't bring herself to answer, millions of thoughts running through her head at once. The minutes tick past. James clears his throat nervously.
"Lil? Lily?"
She sees him taunting Severus on their first train ride to Hogwarts. Sees him spill juice on her, laugh at her, prank everyone in the school. Feels the jealousy she has always felt for him. Scowls as she recalls his bragging, his talent on the Quidditch pitch, his natural brilliance. Images keep on coming, and her brow furrows with doubt.
The lake at the end of fifth year. Him apologizing. Their tentative friendship last year. The way the pranks he pulled became uplifting and no longer cruel. The way he tutored the younger students, how he became the student everyone looked up to instead of the infamous troublemaker he had been.
James sees her hesitance. "Lily," he whispers softly, "please. Can't you see how I've changed for you? How much I care for you?"
Then memories from the past few months come to her. His leadership, his responsibility, his loyalty, his bravery. His love for her. And with that last realization, the answer becomes much clearer, much easier to voice than she would have ever thought.
"I'd love to James," she blurts out. And her cheeks turn pinker than ever as wide smiles split both their faces.
And as he holds her hand on the way to Transfiguration a few moments later, she marvels at how long it has taken her to see his love for her.
After all, he's been drilling it through her head since he'd stepped into her compartment on that fateful September first.