"I swear," Rose huffed, as she hiked through the jungle in the direction that Jack had disappeared to. "The next time he wanders off like that, I'm leavin 'im. Let the prat find his own way back."

It occurred to her that this was probably how the Doctor felt whenever she go herself lost during an adventure, but seeing as he was missing too, she couldn't quite bring herself to feel all that bad.

Two hours later she broke through the last of the vegetation and found herself in a small village of mud huts, seemingly populated only with orange blobs whose eyes-and other body parts she'd rather not think about- floated freely inside their gelatinous bodies.

They were ignoring her, all heading towards the place where the huts converged-the closest they had to a village green.

Rose followed behind, expecting to find her companions tied to a spit in the middle of the crowd. What she didn't expect was Jack sitting on a throne made of what passed for palm fronds and coconuts on this planet, wearing a crown and having his feet massaged.

"Oh, hey Rose! Wondered where you were."

"Jack..."

"What?"

She looked pointedly at the crowd of blobs at his feet.

"Oh, all this. According to them, I-" here he pointed at himself smugly- " Am the great god Dok Tor of the blue box."

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Where's the actual Doctor then?"

The natives shifted restlessly and Jack shot her a look.

"You mean the Impostor! He is there, waiting to be tried for his crimes!"

He pointed to a tree at the edge of the clearing, where an annoyed looking Doctor was tied.

"Right. Well then, I'll just take this 'Impostor' and be on my way. You can stay here with your new friends, O god of the blue box."

Rose's voice dripped with sarcasm, but it seemed to go straight over the natives heads.

"Yes, Yes. You may go."

Jack was speaking in a regal sort of voice now, obviously trying to play up the part. Probably trying to get laid, actually, Rose decided, fumbling with the buttons on the sonic screwdriver.

The ropes fell off the Doctor with only a small amount of burns sustained to his hands and a single comment about stupid apes.

"We going to rescue him then?" Rose asked as they trekked back to the TARDIS.

"Ah, let him have his god's feast first. Might as well enjoy himself before he figures out that this planet still practices sacrifice."