A/N: A Whole new twist to one of my favorite Christmas stories. Yaoi is my thing, don't like, you know what to do. Oh there will be some cross-dressing! And ALL periods will be in here! M for language.

Leon: Hey, what's up with the first line?

Raine Lemuria: Look man, I tried to find another line but it fits! Deal with it!

Soma: Ha ha! You got screwed!

Leon: This sucks…hey wait a moment, Soma has to wear a dress!

Soma: Say what?

Raine Lemuria: Stay tuned…

Chapter 1:

Old Belmont was dead as a door nail and there was no doubt about that. The register for his burial was signed and sealed by all officials and his chief mourner. Mathias signed it and Mathias' name was as good as an American Express.

Mathias never removed Belmont's name, a somber and constant reminder but Mathias paid it no heed. It stood for years after his partner's death over the warehouse door: Cronqvist and Belmont. The firm was known as such. New clients to the business sometimes mistaken Mathias for Belmont and Mathias never bothered to correct them. It was all the same to him.

Oh, but he was a heart of stone, and ruled with an iron hand. He was as cold and unfeeling as the biting winds of a blizzard. Any traces of human compassion, long ago vanished. His features never belied his tyranny and his eyes were soulless and empty. His gait and aura pulsed with power and fear. His heart wouldn't thaw in the slightest for anything, especially Christmas.

Heat, frost or anything relating to feeling had no affect on this crusty old bird. A heavy rain was more generous than he. No one dared to stop and bid him well, or cast him a kind glance. Not one beggar approached him, in fear of their life. No child asked him for direction or time of day. Even the blind's dogs booked it as they caught first whiff of his scent as if to say "Better to be blind than focus upon eternal darkness and damnation."

But Mathias didn't give a flying fuck! He was a man of business and to hell with those who feared him. In fact, he welcomed the solitude. He preferred it. And in his mind, it made his life easier to endure.

This tale begins with Mathias being in his office, a single candle being his only source of light. There was no noticeable blaze in the fireplace, for Mathias was a cheap fuck and didn't feel the nips of cold. Even though he was able to hear the merry passing by of countless people outside, he chose not to listen. What were they to him?

His office door remained open in order to keep tabs on his clerk, who was in a rinky dinky little cell-like cubicle, struggling to keep warm and working. Oh, Mathias' fire in his fireplace was small but his clerk's was even smaller, one would have thought it was a single lump of coal! But the clerk was shit out of luck because Mathias had the coal box in his office. He did consider snagging some but knowing his boss, he would notice straight way and fire the poor man before he could explain. So, he had to make do, by being bundled with a blanket and the flame of his candle. Even thought he had a vast imagination, his feeble attempts were in vain.

"A Merry Christmas Father, May God Bless you," A cheerful voice cried. The voice belonged to his only son, who called upon his father so quickly that the older man didn't have much time to form an intellectual retort.

"Bah, Humbug." Mathias grumbled as he buried himself in his notes. His son was rosy cheeked from his body being heated, his eyes sparkled with Christmas cheer and his breath smoked in the dungeon-like office.

"Christmas, a humbug Father," Mathias' son asked. "You don't mean that…"

"Oh I do," Mathias said shortly as he marked his place and looked at his son. "What right have you to be so merry? What is the reason behind it? You're poor enough!"

"Come then," His son countered. "What right have you to be such an asshole? What right have you to be such a depressed prick? You're rich enough!"

Mathias didn't have a quick answer to his son's counter so instead he "Bah humbugged" again.

"Oh Father don't be so pissed off."

"What else can I be?" Mathias asked, trying to control his anger. "When I live in a world of fools? Merry Christmas indeed, they can all kiss my immortal ass! What's Christmas time to you but paying bills, being broke, finding yourself stressed, a year older and not an hour richer. A time balance the good old checkbook and totaling everything and another year to come by and bite you in the ass and laugh in your face! If things were to go my way, any fool who had Merry Christmas upon his lips would be stabbed and buried with a stake of holly in his heart and boiled in his own pudding."

"Father!" The son pleaded.

"Son!" The father barked. "You keep Christmas your way and let me keepit in mine."

"But you don't keep it."

"Then let me leave it alone then." Mathias said. "Much good it may it do you! What a joke…much good it's ever done for you now!"

"It's certainly brought me no harm. But I hold Christmas as to be a good time. A time where we cherish and care for another, to be in good cheer. To help our fellow man and rejoice in what we have. I believe that it has done me good and will do me good, and I say God Bless it."

A thunderous applause erupted from the cubicle, moved by the Son's words, his senses temporarily out the window. Upon receiving a glare from Mathias, the clerk returned to his task, trying to coax a bit more warmth from the pitiful fire but accidently, putting it out.

"If I hear another peep out of you," Mathias growled, still glaring at his poor clerk. "and you can keep Christmas by picking up your last check and getting lost!" He turned to his son. "And you, are quite the speaker. I am surprised that you didn't go into Parliament."

"Please Father, don't be angry. Come dine with us tomorrow."

"No, thank you."

"But why,"

"Why did you disobey me and get married?"

"Because I fell in love…"

"Because you fell in love," Mathias mocked. "Oh good evening…."

"Father, I want nothing from you and I ask nothing of you, why can't we call a truce and be friends?"

"Good evening." The father repeated.

"I do apologize for any inconvenience." The son said as he replaced his gloves back onto his hands. "But in the Spirit of Christmas I've come to extend my annual invitation and I will keep my Christmas Spirit despite your temper. So, a Merry Christmas, to you Father and a Happy New Year!"

"GOOD EVENING!" The father thundered. His son left the room without an angry word or an angry heart. Before leaving the office, he extended his Christmas cheer to the clerk, who returned it in kind. But as he led the Son out, he escorted two more persons.

Oh great, Mathias thought. What now?

"Cronqvist and Belmont I assume." The blond woman said kindly referring to her list. "Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Cronqvist or Mr. Belmont?"

"Mr. Belmont has been dead for seven years, he died this very day."

"We have no doubts that his generosity would be succeeded by his surviving partner." She said. "We are here on a mission on this festive season, to find means for the poor and destitute. We are gathering funds to provide meat and drink, as well as means of warmth."

"Are there no prisons?" Mathias asked.

"Many sir…" The red haired woman said.

"The workhouses and poor law, they're still in operation?"

"Yes sir," The blond said. "I wish that I can say otherwise."

"Oh, for a moment I thought they ceased in their useful cause." Mathias said. "I'm glad to hear otherwise."

"Sir, we implore you to find it in your heart to help those less fortunate. Now what can we put you down for?"

"Nothing,"

"You wish to be anonymous…."

"I wish to be left alone." Mathias said to the blonde. "Since you asked me what I wished Madam that is my answer. I don't keep or make merry on Christmas and I can not afford to spread "good cheer" to others. I help to support the establishments I mentioned to you before. They are quite expensive and those who are in dire need must go there."

"Many can't and many would prefer to die."

"If they rather die they best get on with it and decrease the surplus population. Now, ladies, I bid you good evening and you know the way out." The two women left, leaving Mathias to the silence he so craved. Without another incident he labored long into the evening hours, only stopping upon the closing hour, seven o'clock.

He blew out the candle, locked everything up tight and took his scarf and gloves from his patient clerk.

"I suppose you want the entire day off tomorrow?" He asked.

"If convenient sir…."

"It's not convenientand it is not fair. If I were to deduct from your salary you'd think yourself ill-used. A poor excuse for picking my pocket every 25th of December. Very well, you can have your 'day off' but be back here all the earlier the next day." After hearing his clerk thanking him, he headed out into the night.

Soma: Wow, what a SCROOGE!

Leon: Hey, when do I come in?

Raine Lemuria: You're up next so hold your pants.

Arikado/Alucard: That was…interesting

Soma: I thought you were on some happy pills!

Arikado/Alucard: No, just on a beautiful Spaniard

Soma: *BLUSH!*

Ok, Holiday season, holiday twist! More to come!