Out of Time

Chapter Twenty Three: Phases

AN: Brace yourselves…this is going to get wacky. I'll try to make this as un-confusing as possible, but I make no promises. I swear that it'll make sense at the end of the chapter. Just bear with me and trust that there's a method to the madness.

Voices were the first thing she heard. "…going…all right?...a fortnight now…worried.."

"down, Your Highness…things..take time…wake…she's ready…"

Why did nothing make sense? Where was she? None of these voices sounded familiar. Light. Soft light caressed her closed eyelids. The sensation hit her with an aching familiarity. The last time she'd felt this way was in the Moon Kingdom, before…she opened her eyes to a familiar yet unfamiliar ceiling. Stars danced across midnight blue, twinkling merrily at her, just like the ceiling in her bedchamber back in…wait. Serena jerked upright, scanning the room in confusion.

Sure enough, she was on the Moon, in the bedchamber she'd had as Serenity. But how was that even remotely possible? She could have sworn she'd been in Camelot…more to the point…this bedchamber had been destroyed thousands of year ago, so what was going on here? Clearly, this was some kind of sick, twisted trick of the Shadowmasters. This had to be an illusion. She paused briefly, taking in the feel of the soft sheets around her. A good illusion. Still, there had be some flaw…she threw the covers back, tossing her legs over the side of the remarkably large bed. Her feet touched the floor, and—

"And where do you think you're going, little sister?"

By the gods…this was cruel, even by Shadowmaster standards! Leonardo's voice was just as she had remembered it…a clear tenor that could spur armies to action at just the right moment, or softly soothe a weeping sister into sleep after this soldier or that soldier had died in the infirmary from his wounds. Presently, the voice held exasperation, relief, and concern. Serena…wait…she was Serenity. Who was Serena? Camelot? Arthur? How absurd! King Arthur was long gone. Strange flashes of a man who was Lyall and yet was not flashed before her, along with others of herself in a different life, but they all faded away before she could truly grasp them.

"Little sister?" Leonardo spoke again, sounding worried this time.

Serenity turned to face her brother then, smiling. "I honestly can't recall. I do remember having the strangest dream, though."

The fair haired young man, with cerulean eyes so much like her own, was now beside her. "Oh? And what was this dream?" One of his arms wrapped around her shoulders, and she relaxed against him, head tucked under his chin.

"That's the strangest part of all. I can scarcely remember it, yet I remember that it was heartbreaking and horrible. I have a strange impression of having lived an entirely different life, where a past that never was and a dark future collided." Just trying to remember it set her to trembling.

Leonardo now held his sister in both arms. "Come now, little sister. It was only a dream. You've been delirious for the past fortnight, so I shouldn't wonder that your dreams have been troubled."

Serenity wriggled out of the embrace and regarded her brother with confusion. "Delirious?"

"Yes. Don't you remember? You fell ill." Seeing her blank expression, he elaborated. "You burned the candle at both ends yet again, little sister. The healers suspect that you must have contracted an illness while you were visiting the soldiers' infirmary. They also told Mother and Father that you hadn't been eating or sleeping as often as you should have been."

Ah, yes…now she remembered. Lyall had been training more intensely than usual, so he hadn't noticed the development of her unhealthy habits. Why the extra training had been necessary, she wasn't entirely sure. So, since everyone had been busy with their duties, she had immersed herself in hers, visiting the soldiers who had been injured in the war and suffering silently through the usual teas and other dull social events that she had to attend as the Princess of Lunaria, known to most as the Kingdom of the White Moon. For lack of her preferred companions, her schedule had become rather full and unbalanced in favor of work. The last she could remember before her waking was reading through some of the drier correspondence on her desk, while it became increasingly difficult to breathe through her nose.

"Now I remember," she sighed. "I overdid it again."

"Indeed," her brother informed her. "Do you have any idea how worried we all were when we got a message from the healers saying you were in critical condition due to exhaustion, untreated pneumonia and under-nutrition?" Worry etched itself across his handsome features as he spoke, and Serenity lowered her eyes guiltily.

"Was it truly that bad?" she asked.

"You were delirious or unconscious for a fortnight. Yes, it was 'that bad'." His troubled expression became firm. "Now, you are going to lie back down this instant." After giving her a fierce glare for a beat, his face softened. He placed a kiss to her forehead. "Don't scare me like that again."

"I'll try not to. Wait, how's Lyall?" Knowing him, he was more than likely to be feeling somewhat guilty, if not angry with her for not taking better care of herself. Away from prying eyes, Lyall could always be trusted to tell her when he thought she was taking on too many tasks. Usually, she listened to him. Apparently, her sense of self-preservation had become lazy when he became her Champion.

"Worried, like the rest of us. If you behave, I'll get the healers to let him visit you tomorrow."

Smirking slightly, she replied with mock innocence, "When do I ever misbehave?"

Leonardo merely cocked an eyebrow in response. "Rest, Serenity. You'll recover faster if you do." With those words, he left the room.

Serenity sank against the pillows, wondering why she suddenly felt so drowsy.

"Serena!"

"But my name isn't…"

憧†ж†§†ж†§†ж

The next time she opened her eyes, she saw ruin. Serenity…no…she was Serena…stood shakily, looking around her. Images of what had once been before the ruin sang in her mind. Dazed, she managed to remain upright and wandered among the shattered, burned-out remains of the Moon Kingdom. The once-proud columns had crumbled into dust, blackened by the flames of Beryl's hatred and jealousy, as well as that of her followers. Crystalline walkways, built by the first Queen of the White Moon that had ever been as smooth and shimmering as the day they had been crafted, were now so riddled with cracks and—in some cases—such terrible fractures as to be rendered impassable. Once-lush gardens had become barren wastelands; not even remnants of flowers remained.

She turned away from the sight with a shudder, tears stinging her eyes. She'd seen the ruins before, of course, back in the early years, when she and the Inner Senshi were still working on their team dynamic, when she and Tuxedo Mask still regarded each other with wary eyes. 'I should have followed my first instincts with him,' she thought. 'No one can change their attitude towards someone so quickly and have the change be genuine.' Although…for a time, even he had sincerely believed in the fiction they had been spoon fed by Luna and Artemis. His tenderness towards her then had not been feigned, she realized. Endymion had been a fine actor, but he could not have feigned the devotion she witnessed during the Prince Diamond crisis, nor the heartbreak he displayed during the aftermath of her battle with Kisenian, when even she had believed death was inevitable. No, his old self had not surfaced until after Chaos had reared its head and wrought terrible destruction, bringing Kakyuu and the Starlights to Earth, thus forcing her and Seiya together time and time again. During that conflict, he—or at least his Starseed—had been a prisoner of the possessed Galaxia. Had his exposure to Chaos' power been the thing to re-awaken the true Endymion?

She paused, mid-step amidst the ruins of what had formerly been a temple to Selene, Helios and Eos as this thought struck her. 'Surely not…' she thought. Then, with a wry smile, finished, 'If I had a dollar for every time he was kidnapped, brainwashed or otherwise incapacitated, I would be wealthier than J.K. Rowling. He was exposed to all kinds of dark powers. So, why, out of everything, would it be Chaos' power that broke the barrier, so to speak?' She moved from the temple to the palace, settling down with her thoughts on one of the more stable structures that resided in what used to be the throne room. 'Of course, Sailor Cosmos—who might well have been one of my possible future selves—did mention that every evil we fought previously was an incarnation of Chaos, so perhaps whatever spell that blocked the real Endymion's way to the surface was just slowly worn away with each attack?'

Then again, perhaps it was something else entirely. 'He had a reputation amongst his own people for being honorable and just,' she recalled. 'The ambassadors we sent all reported as much. Yet his behavior when I knew him was anything but. Still, he was a good actor…but no one could maintain a constant façade, could they? So far as our records could indicate, his poor behavior only began with his arrival on the Moon.' The former Princess jerked to her feet as she remembered Camelot. "Could it be…?" she whispered. The Shadowmasters had proven that they were willing to use the Serpent of Ciardha more than once, as evidenced by the two victims that she had previously encountered. Serena paled with horror at the idea that someone else could fall victim to such an atrocity. 'If I ever make it back to my own time, I'll have to get him alone to make sure I'm right,' she realized. 'If I am…may the gods help me.'

The blonde girl left the ruins then, plans already beginning to take shape within her mind. For some time, she wandered aimlessly, feeling her past and present selves twining ever closer together. Serenity's secrets became her secrets as well, Serena's affection for her friends transferring to Serenity. Back in the Silver Millennium, Serenity had of course had a sort of friendship with the Senshi. However, the camaraderie that she shared with them in the present had been absent. They had all placed duty above everything in the past, Serenity included. Lyall had been her confidant and occasional partner-in-crime; Lyall had been the one to test her and challenge her to do better. As two sets of memories began to intermingle, the girl wondered what would have happened had Fate been kinder. What if Leonardo had made it home to Lunaria before Beryl arrived? Would he have died and been reborn with her, serving as her brother in another life, or would they have been separated? Would he have survived and become King, restoring the kingdom to its former glory and giving rise to a long line of Kings and Queens that would survive the ages? Could he, perhaps, have joined their mother and stopped the destruction in its path so that all that had happened was thrust back into the realm of mere possibility? Would she have died, or would she have lived?

"Enough," she said aloud. "There's no point in thinking about what might have been…"

Serena checked her surroundings. Nothing looked familiar. In addition, she could have sworn it had been lighter earlier. The ruins had vanished, leaving her to stand alone in a sea of tall grasses with white flowers to substitute for the foam of the true ocean. The sky overhead formed a dome around her, soaring higher than any vaulted ceiling created by the hands of man could ever climb. It kissed the grass and flowers on all sides, leaving no room to flee. As she watched, bright, cloudless azure turned to crimson-gold clouds. It would have been beautiful, had the crimson not borne so strong a resemblance to blood. The light waned still further, painting the white flowers red, while the grass turned rust-colored.

For the first time since her arrival, Serena realized—fully and with terrible certainty—that the air was worryingly still. Before, she had been so lost in thought that the strange, heavy silence that spoke louder than any scream had gone largely unnoticed. The grasses waved mechanically, even though there was no wind. No life seemed to be present in this space save for the ocean of grass that surrounded her on all sides. There was no taste to the air, no sound to break the stifling quiet; neither her footfalls nor her skirts' brushing the grasses disturbed the overwhelming sense of not being that pervaded her senses. The sensation set her heart to beating at a near-frantic pace as the crushing stillness penetrated her flesh and flooded into her core, trying to smother her. Her breathing came in ragged gasps that tore their way from her throat, leaving it as dry and sore as if it had been scraped with sandpaper. Even these did not break the silence that threatened to crush her under its heel. Black spots blotted out parts of her vision with increasing frequency. Her strength seemed to desert her piece by piece, until her legs gave way beneath her. Her heart tripped over three consecutive beats, then proceeded to attempt to pound its way out of her chest cavity, while the ability to breathe seemed to desert her entirely. The black spots threatened to consume her vision…air flooded back into her lungs.

As she knelt on the ground, trembling arms being the only things keeping the top half of her body upright, a voice sounded in her mind.

*So…you have come at last.*

She was no stranger to telepathy, having experienced it to a certain extent whenever she and the Senshi pooled their powers together, as well as her meeting with the Powers that Be, not excluding the times she'd employed it to communicate privately with her brother and Lyall during the Silver Millennium. Even so, she felt the difference. This voice sent pain pulsing throughout her skull, while her power recoiled, as if drawing back from some terrible threat. Even after it fell silent once more, she could feel its presence saturating her being to the point where she could no longer be certain as to whether or not she had ever existed. Dazed, she fumbled through her thoughts, struggling to remember what had been said. After some awkward mental fumbling, she surmised that it hadn't been a question, but more of an observation. Hoping that this…presence, for lack of a better term, would not take it amiss, she ventured to ask a question. "Where am I?"

Spoken language was thick and awkward on her tongue, and the sounds she managed to form seemed to hold no resemblance to any existing language.

*Does it truly matter?*

The Princess answered hastily, lest her thoughts slip away from her yet again. Gods bless it! Why couldn't she move?! "I suppose not. To whom am I speaking?"

*Think, Silver Maid. I have always been, or not been, depending on your perspective. I was here long before your gods, and I shall probably remain long after creation has ceased to be. I was here before those two quarreling sisters Cosmos and Chaos, and I stand accused of threatening all life in the universe.*

With each word the presence spoke, Serena felt herself slipping away into oblivion, and for the life of her could not understand what she was hearing. Her heartbeat, which had been thundering so loudly in her ears moments before, had become only a faint thrum. Her lungs had become stationary without her noticing, yet she experienced none of the discomfort she might have expected as a result of being without air. She began to wonder if this conversation truly mattered…indeed, she could scarcely remember what it had been about. After what seemed like an extraordinarily long—or was it short?—moment, she wondered whether or not a conversation had taken place at all. A faint flickering struggled against the haze that surrounded her, seeming to indicate that she had some urgent business…but what?

The mist that had clouded her vision—when had that appeared?—suddenly disintegrated, and awareness flooded back through her. Air punched its way painfully into her lungs. Gasping, she peered up at the imposing figure that now towered over her. "Wh-who…are…you…?" she gasped out between breaths.

Silver eyes with white-ringed pupils regarded her with profound disinterest. White hair streaked with black in places fell past too slim shoulders to rest against near-insubstantial hips, with some shorter locks framing a haughty face that could have been either male or female. In spite of the being's height, it seemed to flicker in and out of being, making it nearly impossible to describe with true accuracy. As she gazed at this new figure, Serena wondered if what she was seeing was simply her mind interpreting something that was simply too large—or too insubstantial—for her to properly grasp.

The figure's mouth opened. "Forgive me," it said in a sexless voice. "I am not used to dealing with those who Are."

This day continued to make less and less sense. The being chose to ignore the girl's discomfiture, saying: "You ephemerals know me as the Void, though the Greek have mistakenly labeled me as Chaos. How absurd! Chaos Is. I Am Not."

Wait…

"The Void?" Serena choked out.

"Yes. Being and Not Being…the concept which mortal minds—and most immortal minds—cannot grasp. Come now…you've already seen evil manifest itself as a single entity. Surely it isn't a shock to realize that nonexistence can deign to perform the same feat."

'Actually, there's something that makes that sentence a paradox,' part of her mind muttered. Pain pulsed faintly in the top of her skull. 'If I ever wake up, I'm asking Lyall for an aspirin,' she decided. For now, she would listen. "I suppose you have a point," she conceded aloud. Lyall…she jerked involuntarily as she remembered. "You took my brother and a beloved friend from me," she said.

"Opposites react," the Void responded. "What else happens when creation spawns atop the antithesis of Being, which is my opposite?" After a pause, it added, "I have never borne ill will against Creation."

Her skepticism must have shown on her face.

"You ephemerals once placed a great deal of emphasis on Balance. Think. What did balance entail?"

"Equality?"

"Elaborate, please."

"Well, let's take Yin and Yang. It's about pushing and pulling, with two forces working together. If one goes missing, or the other becomes too powerful, the balance is lost, causing disorder."

"Exactly. Have you ever considered that perhaps the whole of Creation has tipped the balance?"

"How does that work?"

"Every time your gods sense my presence and hasten to lull me back into complacency, they allow the balance between the most foundational tenets of existence to tip. Nonexistence and existence have to balance each other out, the same way that sunlight and shadow have their own respective uses. In short, existence has tipped the scales, leading to the erosion of Time. I had no desire to consume and corrupt history, but in order to keep all of Creation from crumbling back into my domain, it was necessary."

"So, you're telling me that the triumphs of light over darkness and their current erasure from Time and Space is our fault?"

"If you insist on that gross over-simplification, then yes."

"Okay…suppose I decide to believe that. What can we do about it?"

"Well, you could step back and let everything run its course. A few kingdoms here and there will fade into oblivion, I'll finish the job with your friend and brother, worlds will end…the balance will reassert itself eventually."

"And if I decide I don't particularly like that course of action?"

"Well, then…you have some serious thinking to do. You possess a characteristic that not many possess. Unless you come into direct contact with me, you remain aware of how things supposedly should be. The unfortunate effects of imbalance don't particularly affect you. In short, you Are More. Everything you know Is, but you have something More, a bit more existence than the rest. You hold the power to tip the balance in favor of the side you choose. You fight for Light, so Dark is always at a disadvantage. You Are, so I am forced halfway into Being. Such is the way with Cosmos' Chosen; it has Been so throughout all ages."

The figure before her began to fade, as did the field around them. "Think on it, Princess. What will you do?"

The presence crashed over her, forcing her to her knees.

§ж†ж§ж†ж§ж†§

A faint crackling sounded by her head. Something warm and heavy was draped over the lower half of her body. Serena opened her eyes. She did not recognize this room. She made to sit, but the movement set her head to spinning, forcing her back into her former position. The pain in her head from the dream…vision…roared back, slamming into her with the force of a hurricane. Her vision went gray, and she closed her eyes with a pained whimper.

Gentle hands made rough by war cupped her face. One hand gripped her jaw firmly, forcing her mouth open. The other pressed a cup to her lips. "Drink," a deep voice ordered. "It will help with the pain."

Desperate for something, anything, to make the pain stop, she obeyed, somehow knowing she could trust those hands. A vile taste flooded her mouth, but the hands gave her no option but to swallow. The pain receded, leaving only a deep weariness. She struggled against it, forcing her eyes open again and again, only to have them drift shut. The same person who had given her that blessed relief sighed somewhere over her head. The hands released her, placing her head on something soft. Then one hand returned, carding surprisingly gentle fingers through her hair. "Sleep," the voice ordered. She had no choice but to obey.