Jbh14: Just something my brain came up with late at night after eating a large slice of Chocolate cake. Please read and enjoy.

20 things I, Harry Potter am not allowed to do by order of Albus Dumbledore

I am not allowed to tell the first years about the thousand year old dead snake below the school.

I am not allowed to tell the first years that Professor Snape is a half-vampire.

I am not allowed to dress up with Luna as a pair of Smurfs.

I am not allowed to tell first years that Hogwarts is a 'special school'.

I am not allowed to invite Lord Voldemort to be my pen-pal.

I am not allowed to tell the Daily Prophet that Lord Voldemort is my pen-pal.

I am not allowed to dress all the first years in sailor fuku's.

I am not allowed to go on holiday at a nudist resort in France with Fleur Delacour.

Or Daphne Greengrass.

Nor with Luna Lovegood.

Or all three.

I am not allowed to sell Ginny Weasley on ebay.

I am not allowed to take a gender bender potion then become president of the 'Harry Potter Fanclub'.

I am not allowed to take a gender bender potion, then try and convince everyone I was really born a girl.

I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore what wattage his eyes are.

I am not allowed to lead Luna and Ginny on a search for the 'One Ring'.

Nor am I allowed to claim Dumbledore the Grey told me to.

I am not allowed to claim the Dark Lord's real name is Justin Bieber.

I am not allowed to rename Halloween as 'Kill Harry day'.

I am not allowed to ask Cedric Diggory "How's Bella?" whilst Cho Chang is nearby.

Jbh14: So any good? Please R+R. If I get enough reviews then I'll write another list or two.