Okay, this is the altered version that is more like a story. Because the poser group known as the Literacy Union will not stop bugging me about the previous one, I did this. Even though an Admin had contacted me by direct email, and claimed my list was exceptional due to the vast expanse of words, the trolls from the LU could not get that through their heads.
Warning, since this is in story format, it may be harder to keep along with. So I'll try to be nice with the spacing.

You know you are obsessed with Hellsing Ultimate when-

You know the title of the opera Rip Van Winkle sings. You find yourself googling Nazi facts at random moments of the day. You get pissed whenever you mention Schrodinger and someone else jumps into the conversation and starts talking about the equation instead.

You even find yourself beginning to like vampires again even though Twilight ruined it for you. You find yourself wondering how blood tastes, and even debate tasting it until you consider the fact you could contract AIDS. One word…Fan fictions, and lots of them. You can remember Integra's full name at any given moment.

You refer to one of your blonde friends with shortish hair as "police girl." You have tried your own maniacal laugh just like Alucard's. Having a butler seems so much cooler to you now. You have attempted to draw your favorite character at least once no matter how bad it sucked.

Your first thought whenever you hear about vampires is either your favorite vampire character or the word "ghouls". You become so used to seeing blood that you hardly give a second thought to the sight of it. You are able to think of multiple pairings for each character. You have a new appreciation for German Operas.

You want to learn more German language. You find yourself pronouncing your "w's" as "v's" and your "th's" as "z's". Anytime someone mentions Valentine's Day, Jan and Luke Valentine pop into your head. You even know how to properly pronounce Jan's name. You get annoyed when someone sees his name and pronounces it wrong!

You and your friends form yourselves into a group, either Hellsing, Millennium, or any others and pretend anyone outside your group is potentially against you. You can recall the names of each organization. You have a new perspective of God, whether you are Atheist or not. You find yourself beginning to memorize and recognize several different types of guns.

Joining an army seems somewhat appealing to you. You may start to become a total pyro if you were not already. Nazi's have a whole new meaning for you. Any time you hear something about a war, your interest for it instantly perks. You feel the strong need to draw, write a fan fiction, or make a quiz about the can agree hands down that the Ultimate series kicks the old series' arse.

There….Happy! I mean damn, if I composed all of the spam I received I could write a whole other chapter for it. More chapters will be added soon.