The Wizard of Ak
A panicked Dib ran into the Membrane household to search for clues to the latest mystery. He couldn't explain what was happening, but he knew that there was something paranormal behind what was going on. Gaz was sitting on the couch playing her Game Slave and trying to ignore her brother, but she couldn't keep quiet once he started looking behind the couch.
Gaz: Go away!
Dib: But I'm looking for clues! I have to figure out what's going on!
Gaz: Why can't you do something else?
Dib motioned towards the rest of the room.
Dib: But haven't you noticed it?
Gaz: No.
Dib: But the whole world's turned black and white! Well... it's really more of a series of browns, but...
Gaz: GO AWAY!
Just then, Professor Membrane entered the room.
Prof. M: What's going on in here?
Gaz: Dib's being annoying.
Dib: But... but...
Prof. M: Now, son, why don't you go some place where you won't get into any trouble?
Dib, without saying a word, left the house and headed towards the park. Before long, he noticed he was being followed by a dog: a chihuahua with a lobotomy scar, to be precise. Having nobody else to talk to, he began soliliquizing to the poor creature.
Dib: Some place where there isn't any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place, uh, whoever you are? There must be. Not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far away... beyond the moon, beyond the rain.
Before he could wonder about whether some paranormal forces were causing him to act wildly out of character, Dib did something even more out of character; he sat on a conveniently located bale of hay and broke into song.
Somewhere Beyond This City
Dib: Somewhere beyond this city,
Past the stars,
Past the Earth that I live in,
Even past planet Mars.
Somewhere beyond this city
Where I could,
Study the paranormal
All for the greater good.
Some day I'll go out into space
In search of some alien face-
-s and stuff...
Where I'll be taken serious'ly,
And people will not laugh at me,
That will be... enough.
Somewhere beyond this city,
Spaceships fly.
They fly outside Earth's orbit,
Why then, oh why, can't I?
If these alien ships can fly
Outside Earth's orbit...
Why, oh why, can't I?
Dib sighed and got up. He did not walk far before something caught his eye. It was a wagon with the words 'Talk to Professor Membrane' on it. Dib shrugged and went inside, followed by the chihuahua. Of course, he wouldn't be talking to the real Membrane; it was one of a series of cleverly designed animatronic robots that the professor had put together as a way to make a little side money. Dib put a quarter in the slot, and the robot came to life.
M. Robot: Well, well, well! House guests, huh? Ha ha ha ha! And who might you be? No, no, now don't tell me. Let's see. You're travelling in disguise.
Dib: Uh, no...
M. Robot: Studies show that you're... going on a visit.
Dib: Nope.
M. Robot: You're, you're... running away.
Dib, who was tired of the robot's guesses, nodded.
Dib, sarcastically: How did you guess?
M. Robot: Ha ha! Professor Membrane never guesses. He knows! Ha ha! Now, why are you running away?
Dib: Uh, just because. What should I do?
M. Robot: Well, let's look in the spacial-temporal prediction glass, shall we?
The mirror behind the robot began to show a scene; however, it was too vague to clearly make out.
Dib: What's that supposed to be?
M. Robot: Hmm. Could it be someone near and dear to you?
Dib sighed. This robot was getting annoying.
Dib: Like my dad?
M. Robot: Ah, yes. That'll do. He's... crying. Someone has hurt him. Someone has just about broken his heart.
Dib: Eh, that doesn't sound like him...
M. Robot: It's someone he loves very much; someone he's been very kind to; someone he's taken care of in sickness. Uh, hint, hint...
Dib: Fine, I get it! That was a waste of a quarter...
Dib and the chihuahua left the wagon and walked in the direction of the Membrane household. However, when he looked up, he noticed something quite unusual in the sky...