Disclaimer: The only thing I will ever own is this story. I will never own any of the material and ideas of Kingdom Hearts…except for the merchandise. Huzzah~!

A/N: I wrote this entire thing yesterday because I was rushing. LOL I almost forgot about those 'special' days or whatever. xD; So…yeah! This is for SaiLar Day! Saïx/Larxene has got to be one of my favorite crack pairings ever. I guess it's the violence… Who knows? Maybe it's the bickering situations you can create between them without it really feeling out of place. I have a feeling that if they had interacted (as in actually interacted), Saïx and Larxene would be throwing insults at each other like no tomorrow. LOL
I have nothing against Demyx (except when he's summoning his water clones one too many times during his boss battle) at all. I love him, but I also love the fact that he gets picked on. xD Larxene picking on Demyx reminds me of an older sibling picking on her younger brother…in a violent way. O-o; *coughcough* I mostly added him here because, naturally, he acts as a sort of comic relief which is something Saïx and Larxene need. Badly. Just saying. :P Also! Pardon me if there's dry humor here. I'm not exactly savvy when it comes to humor though I do like the lighthearted stuff. :)

Anyways, I hope you enjoy and like what you read. :) If possible, mind dropping a review at the end? Thank you!

.: Unknown Theories of the Stormy Kind :.

~ I have a theory… Would you care to listen? ~

"What are you doing?" Larxene glared impatiently with a tap of her foot.

Demyx squeaked and accidentally threw Larxene's prized book, Marquis de Sade, in the air. As he fumbled with catching the novel, the blond sitarist properly sat up on the grey-accented white couch. "L-L-Larxene!"

Raising a challenging eyebrow, Larxene smirked and started to sashay her way across the Grey Area towards Demyx. He scooted over to the far end of the couch right away once he realized Larxene had that devilish glint in her eyes that he painstakingly hated. She dragged her hand from the other armrest, to the back of the couch, and finally on the armrest by Demyx's head when he fell back. He tried his darnedest to sink into the pillows as much as he could, hiding behind Larxene's book while the Savage Nymph slowly leaned over him in sadist pleasure.

She stroked his cheek with her left index finger and cooed, "Aw, Demyx…are you scared?"

"Umm…yes?" Demyx grinned pleadingly, though he knew one of two outcomes would happen: Larxene would either castrate him on the spot or she would castrate him later as they played her game of 'cat-and-mouse'. Looking down at the novel, Demyx vainly returned it to its rightful owner. "I should…probably give this back."

"That would be the smartest idea." Larxene smiled sickly sweet and took the book back without violently ripping it away from Demyx's grasp.

So far so good, Demyx quickly thought. Nervously chuckling, he tried to slip away. "So! I think I'll just be going—"

"You are fricken idiot if you think I'm letting you go that easily!" Larxene growled after placing her book on the glass coffee table and immediately summoned her throwing knives. She smiled maliciously while her blades bounced with electricity. "What the hell were you doing with my book?"

Demyx screamed in his head. He tried to squirm away, but with Larxene sitting on top of him (effectively pinning him in place), that was rather difficult. He scrambled for excuses; any excuses. "It's not my fault! It was just lying on the table when I got here! I-I was curious! I was going to return it to you!"

"What's that? You want to be punished?" The female blonde hummed and drew back her knife-wielding hand. "Okay, Demyx. Whatever you want!"

ACK! Demyx closed his eyes and chanted. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Just as Larxene attacked, a voice interrupted her concentration and she missed hitting her target…by a few millimeters. Demyx could've died right there and then, but perhaps he did once he noticed small strands of his hair falling on his black coat.

Gritting her teeth, Larxene sat up (still on Demyx's torso mind you) and replied as if a major offense had been charged against her, "Do you mind? I was trying to reinforce punishment for stealing!"

Saïx merely gave her a blank expression and ignored her ranting in favor of his own reason. "Number XII, have you forgotten that everyone's efforts are needed in order to complete Kingdom Hearts? That includes Number IX no matter how useless he is."

"Pfft. Oh don't be a party-pooper, Number VII. If you want to join in, I'd be happy to share." Larxene dismissed her weapons, took hold of Demyx's face between her thumb and index finger—inevitably squishing Demyx's cheeks so he looked like a fish—and forced him to look at Saïx. The sitarist tried to struggle out of Larxene's hold, but her iron grip was impossible! Smirking suggestively, the female blonde probed the Luna Diviner. "So which part of him do you want: his top half or his bottom?"

Saïx rolled his eyes and approached the blonde Nobodies 'sitting' on the couch. He pried Larxene off her perch by pulling her upper arm so she was standing again. The Savage Nymph stumbled from the unexpected movement, but when she caught her balance, her electric-green eyes narrowed in disgust at the Luna Diviner. Saïx never lost his nerve as he stared back, but Demyx was sure Saïx was glaring no matter how impassive his face looked. Sensing the impending doom coming from the both of them, Demyx slowly sat up and backed into the armrest. He had both hands on the end of it in case he had to make a quick getaway. Any immediate movement right now would trigger the witch and X-face's instincts to attack indiscriminately.

"You have a lot of nerve touching me when it isn't wanted." Larxene coldly slapped Saïx's hand away before placing one hand on her hip. She stood tall with a tilt of her head and a fixed glare.

The blue-haired berserker remained unfazed with Larxene's attempts to look intimidating. His monotone voice was laced with warning as he replied, "I wasn't aware you wanted to be touched at all."

Demyx's jaw dropped in astonishment. Saïx did not just say that! Curious, the blond sitarist moved his gaze nervously in Larxene's direction and—if he had a heart—regretted the decision because Larxene looked ready to explode. However, she quickly calmed down and her tense shoulders drooped in relaxation as she returned Saïx's comment with a small upturn of her lips. Stepping closer to the higher-ranking Nobody, Larxene eyed him from beneath her long lashes and purred, "Number VII, don't you know? Of course a woman wants to be touched at least once in her life; sometimes more than once. Are you deprived of such rudimentary knowledge?"

"You underestimate me, Number XII." Saïx tilted his head down slightly to fixate his glance on hers. Demyx didn't know why, but something about Saïx changed in that instant. Was it his posture or his way of speaking? Soon enough, the blond sitarist figured out what it was: the way Saïx looked at Larxene was different. How different, Demyx wasn't sure…but the change was there. "Things like that are partially pointless to me as they should be to you. You aren't exactly normal, Larxene."

"Ha! That's rich coming from you: the guy who goes psycho under moonlight," Larxene retorted and poked Saïx in the middle of his chest. The force she used had the Luna Diviner taking a small step back and Larxene used this to her advantage, tilting his chin so his focus concurred with her direction. Smirking, Larxene coiled strands of Saïx's long, blue hair around her finger. "I have a theory that you're just hiding what you really want to do whenever the moon comes out to play. It makes me wonder where else you would go psycho and if you do."

Saïx raised an eyebrow in question—mouth pressed in a thin line—as he lowered his head voluntarily to hers. "Are you saying you want to test this theory?"

Larxene shrugged; her lips could just about touch his if she moved any closer. "Depends on how you want to test my theory."

"There would be no merits if you were to test it."

"Oh I would get something out of it—something good. Believe me."

Demyx felt his eye twitch and he slapped his face while covering his sight. "I don't know what's going on anymore. I'm so…confused."

Snapping to attention—and remembering the figurative 'third wheel' in the room—Larxene and Saïx stepped away from each other. Neither Nobody appeared bothered by the fact that Demyx of all people witnessed their exchange of snide words, but something told Demyx that his interruption came at a very. Bad. Time. How did he know? Well…let's just say two of the more violent Nobodies of the Organization looked about ready to kill him.

Larxene scoffed and crossed her arms. "What? You're still here?"

"A-Ah…I don't wanna be…" Demyx scratched the back of his head apprehensively; his gaze continuing to fall down to his lap when he suddenly thought the room radiated with cold waves from Larxene and Saïx.

Darn him and his big mouth! Saïx and Larxene were so…engrossed with each other (more than usual) that it was a perfect opportunity to slip away without notice! But no! Demyx just had to watch them interact with each other. He was still trying to figure to why he stayed to observe the small, soap drama-like moment (it reminded him of…something), but Demyx merely fell back on the idea that Larxene and Saïx's conversation was like a cat and dog biting each other's head off…before hitting on each other.

Clearing his throat, Demyx clumsily got off the couch. "Continue as you were! You'll never even know I was here—!"

"Shut up!" Larxene summoned her knives in one hand and threw them in the sitarist's direction before he could escape completely. Demyx yelped helplessly when the knives struck the floor inches from his boots and huddled in the corner of the couch. Again. Materializing her knives once more, Larxene began. "Don't think I've forgotten about you, idiot! I still have to hurt you for taking my book from my room without permission!"

"Wait, Larxene!" Maybe he should try and run now. He was the fastest person in the Organization…at turning tail. "I'm telling the truth when I say I never took it from your room!"

Larxene prepared for attack. "Too late for excuses!"

Just as Demyx was going to put his plan into motion (the plan being to run as fast as hell), Saïx interrupted, "Book? You mean this?" He had the small novel in one of his hands as he examined the front and back cover in disinterest.

"Stop putting your damn fingers all over it!" Larxene demanded. "Give that back, lapdog!"

"Hmm…" Saïx flipped through the pages and quickly skimmed the text before snapping the book shut with a loud thud. "I've skimmed through this book a dozen times and I still don't understand why you find it a 'masterpiece'."

There was a brief period of silence before Larxene changed her target from Demyx to Saïx. She slowly, but threateningly, approached the berserker. "You were the one who took my book? More than once?"

Saïx answered without taking into consideration that Larxene's mood was becoming increasingly foul. "Such a thing shouldn't even be called a 'book'."

Larxene continued her accusation; sparks of hot electricity jumping off her coat as she tightened her grip on her knives. "You took a step in my room?"

Saïx closed his eyes; her book tucked snuggly under his arm before he brushed his hair behind his shoulders. "Considering the door was open, it was obviously an invitation to enter. I fail to see how I've done anything wrong."

Demyx finally leaped behind the couch when Larxene called down a large bolt of lightning and charred the spot Saïx was standing in just seconds ago. Shaking in his boots, Demyx took a small peek from his hiding spot and watched as Larxene grabbed Saïx's collar tightly; the blue-haired berserker calmly sitting in the armchair that was adjacent to the couch. He had conveniently fallen back on it when Larxene's element rained down. Saïx's cold eyes looked back at Larxene's fuming ones as she leered down murderously.

Oh man! Demyx chewed on his gloved fingers as his head darted in every which direction. What do I do? I can't stop them; I'll just get hurt. Should I leave? T-This isn't my problem!

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't zap you right here and now." The blond sitarist clamped a hand over his mouth once he heard the venom dripping from Larxene's lips. Demyx pressed himself against the back of the couch, thinking that if he made a sound, the Savage Nymph would come after him for no apparent reason after she was finished with X-face.

A reply from the Luna Diviner reached Demyx's quivering ears. "I'm testing my own theory right now."

Both Larxene and Demyx had the same bemused thought. "Huh?"

"Really?" the female blonde snorted. "And what theory is that?"

"Your reasons for throwing a fit whenever someone rubs you the wrong way," Saïx explained evenly. "It's a wonder how you're still sane after so many stress-inducing incidents."

Larxene laughed repulsively and Demyx could hear her whisper, "Well then, Saïx, what's your diagnosis?"

Demyx waited and waited before waiting some more until it dawned on him that Saïx never bothered to reply to Larxene's coaxing. Wow. Did X-face not have an intelligent remark for the witch? Letting his curiosity get the better of him, the blond sitarist peeked out of his hiding spot and his heart (the pumping organ of course) stopped beating in his chest.

Saïx and Larxene were kissing!

…Well, it looked more like Saïx forced the blonde female into it when he yanked Larxene forward by her wrist. The Savage Nymph had put up some resistance to his advances; what with her trying to pull away and electrocute the Luna Diviner at the same time. However, that did little to stop Saïx and he brought her closer to him by pressing down on the small of her back with one hand, forcing her mouth open and earning a defiant yet breathless sigh on her part. Larxene ended up straddling Saïx's lap as a result and eventually gave in to his brutal kissing. Her fingers clawed into his shoulders as she fought for control of their apparent make-out session.

Demyx had to look away then—his face hot with embarrassment—and cradled himself. Saïx, the Superior's second-in-command, willingly allowed himself to get involved with Larxene, possibly the most violent member of the Organization…in that kind of way. It was awkward; it was kind of scary; but most of all, Demyx just wanted to get the hell out of there! But how? If he tried to leave, he was certain that he would end up charred, beaten, and sliced into millions of pieces before being thrown out the castle windows.

He heard the fabric of the armchair squeak and Demyx was prepared to risk his life to summon a dark corridor and book it. He would rather endure unending torture than listen to…whatever might be coming next. Larxene was the first to speak; her voice childish as it was tantalizing, "You're always so violent."

"I wasn't the one trying to use shock therapy. Besides, that line usually refers to you," Saïx shot back and Demyx had to wonder how the blue-haired berserker could remain passive-aggressive on just about anything.

The female blonde clicked her tongue. "For once, I'll have to agree." Demyx heard more shifting just as Larxene's heels clicked against the tiled floor. She was standing on her feet again…and not on Saïx's lap thankfully. The sound of a portal opening entered the sitarist's ears and Larxene taunted. "Oh, by the way, you scored a nine-out-of-ten."

"Nine-out-of-ten…?" Saïx repeated solemnly.

Daring himself one last time, Demyx poked his head out from his hiding spot, noting that Larxene tapped her shoulder with her book as a dark corridor swirled behind her. Saïx stood up from his seat as well and watched the blonde with a careful eye. The Savage Nymph smirked and entered the disappearing portal. "You dissed my favorite book. That's a big no-no."

Saïx stared at the spot Larxene disappeared from before opening a portal of his own. Smoothing down his coat, he entered and vacated the premises. "…I'll remember that for next time."

Left completely alone, Demyx slowly got up to his feet and stared dumbfounded across the Grey Area. Walking around the couch, he collapsed on the white material and glanced at the ceiling. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but Demyx could make out footsteps entering the Grey Area. Too bad he was completely exhausted to acknowledge his company's presence.

Axel's face was suddenly hovering above his a few minutes later. "Wow, Demyx. You look more dead than lazy today."

Blinking, Demyx sat up properly—his face still blank of emotion (not that he had any to begin with)—and dragged his eyes from Roxas, to Axel, and finally to Xion. The younger Nobodies tilted their head at him whereas Axel waited for a reply from Demyx all together. What should he say? His afternoon had been hectic, but how do you describe what just happened moments earlier between…them? Demyx still hadn't figured out why Saïx and Larxene's interaction reminded him so much of…something. A figurative clock ticked in his head before it rang loudly when Demyx concluded what it finally was!

Bottom lip trembling, Demyx shot out of his seat and clung to Axel's waist; Roxas and Xion moving away in nonexistent surprise as the redhead immediately tried shoving Demyx away. The blond sitarist wailed, "Axel, it was horrible! I know what it was now!"

"Get a grip, Demyx!" Axel shoved harder before finally prying Demyx off by scaring the blond with a little fire. Dusting off his sleeves with a flick of his wrist, the redheaded pyro raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you on about anyways? What do you know? …Then again, I don't want to know—"

Demyx cut in when he remembered Saïx and Larxene's 'close encounter'. Fingers grabbing thin air, he sniffled. "It was like…watching your older sister make-out with her boyfriend. Or! Or…watching your parents make-out after they had a lovers' spat except your parents were trying to murder each other beforehand!"

Roxas and Xion shared a look of confusion and asked each other in a whisper, "Lovers' spat?"

Axel shook his head—his interest piqued now—as he knelt beside Demyx's defeated form. "Wait, wait, wait… Who was involved?"

"Saïx and Larxene! They forgot I was still here with them even after they left!" Demyx offered after rubbing his runny nose on his sleeve. Roxas and Xion were trying to make complete sense of this strange 'code of communication' the older Nobodies were locked in.

Suddenly, Axel threw back his head in dead—albeit 'amused'—laughter with everyone looking at him as if the he'd gone crazy. Snorting out the last bits of his chuckles, Axel slapped Demyx on the back before standing up and sighing. "Oh man…that is awesome. Priceless."

"How is…what awesome?" Roxas asked with a furrow of his eyebrows.

"I don't get it," Xion added and dropped her head in case she said something stupid.

Axel petted their heads in mock affection while Demyx got up to his feet, holding his own when he felt a migraine approaching. The redhead smirked. "It's nothing you guys have to wrap your innocent minds around. It's grown up stuff."

"Yeah…" Demyx mumbled. "Grown up stuff I wish I didn't have to see." Sighing, Demyx whined to Axel again. "Seriously, what's up with those two? I thought they hated each other."

"Psh, get with the program. Of course they do."

"But—"

"But nothing! That's just how they are around each other; Nobodies or not." Axel grinned, rubbing a hand under his chin. "I've had this theory for a long time, but I think those two have this unresolved 'sexual tension' between them, but it never quite gets out because they're always trying to dominant one another; waiting for the other to crack. It's like a game for them. Got it memorized?"

Xion blinked. "Game…?"

"Sexual…tension?" Roxas tilted his head.

Axel lightly scolded with a smirk. "Roxas, watch your mouth."

Demyx hung his head, rubbing his face with his hands. "I never want to hear another theory again…"