Chapter Ten

I'm so sorry for the enormous wait, it's no excuse but I just got back into the swing of school and life gets in the way (e.g internet went down) My eternal thanks to everyone who reviewed this story, I couldn't continue to do this without you all so… here it goes.

Selena POV:

The sunlight dappled the pavement in a bright array of colours as a soft breeze lifted Selena's hair away from her face. The warmth of it felt wonderful on her skin and she relaxed enough to gaze around. Not far away swarms of children flitted about the play equipment, their shrieks of delight bouncing around the park as though trapped within an enormous sea shell. She was sitting on a wooden bench, waiting for someone. She closed her eyes and waited for him to arrive. A voice called out to her and she looked up with a smile to see Spencer standing in front of her. His longish brown hair was tucked behind his ears in a way she adored and his soft brown eyes stared at her in shock for a few moments before she realised something else was very odd about this picture. He had his FBI jacket on, the same one he'd worn the night he'd found her, and a pale hand was poised above the gun on his hip.

"Miss, it's not safe here." He said slowly and she frowned. Confused she sat frozen to her place.

"Spencer?" She queried and he backed up a step. Her eyebrow quirked slightly.

"Miss, I have to ask you to leave… It's not safe here." He said again, reaching out a hand towards her. She felt terror well inside her as she realised that the park was now silent. Comprehension dawned with a rush; that the children had gone, had disappeared into the dappled sunlight with hardly a sound. The joyful cries that once made the park a delightful haven were now absent and it made the place feel worryingly eerie. Her hair stood on end and she looked around for Spencer, only to find him gone… just like the children. Now she was terrified. Alone in the park she stood up and looked around desperately.

"Spencer!" She screamed but her voice simply echoed back to her.

"Spencer!" She wailed again but he neither answered nor reappeared. Tears began to fall unheeded down her cheeks as she searched the abandoned park frantically. A flash of blonde hair caught her eye up ahead and she began to run towards it.

"Lucy!" She called out and a small giggle could be heard up ahead.

"Lucy this isn't a game anymore." She yelled but the little girl remained elusive, heard but unseen just up ahead. Selena kept running along the path, barely noticing the world around her as the pavement flew beneath her feet. She stopped when she realised she could no longer hear Lucy's giggle. Biting her lip she turned to go back, only to be met with the sight of a thick white wall that all but sprang out of the ground. She back away from it in shock.

"Darcy?" A familiar voice crooned softly from behind her and she whirled to see him standing there, arms folded and a small smile on his face. She backed away quickly and he advanced on her just as rapidly. Her back hit the wall and the tears restarted.

"Spencer!" She screamed but knew he wouldn't come, that somehow he couldn't come to her aid. Finley's eyes narrowed and he grasped her roughly by her upper arms.

"Darcy, you and I were meant to be… you can't ever leave me, I won't let you leave me." He murmured and shook her roughly. She felt her head smack against the wall, her hair grow slowly sticky and her vision blur as his hands encircled her neck. She gasped and tried to strain away but only succeeded in giving him more access to her neck. His attractive face was twisted into a terrifying snarl as he slowly began to tighten his fingers. She began to hit at him, choking as the fingers wrapped casually around her neck tightened even more.

"Darcy, shhh, it's alright Darcy." Finley cooed sickeningly as her vision began to tunnel.

"Spencer…" She whispered and…

Sat bolt upright, chest rising and falling as though she'd run a marathon and her body covered in a cold sheen of sweat. The sheets were twisted around her trembling body and she turned to look over at her fellow bed mate whose blonde hair was just visible beneath the covers. Lucy was fast asleep, her dreams uninhabited by nightmares, and curled around herself like a small ball. Carefully Selena slid out of her bed, still shaking from her dream, and headed to the door quietly. Pausing at its threshold she looked back briefly towards the sleeping child and smiled despite her fright. Turning back she walked down the small hallway to her kitchen, not bothering with the lights as she navigated the cupboards for her chocolate. Switching the lights on would probably force her to fetch her glasses and she was just as blind in the dark as she was during the day. She simply decided to feel her way around the small space until her hand handed on a handle. Cautiously she opened the fridge, faint light making it easier to navigate the place, and carrying both china mug and milk, turned back to the counter to start preparing her drink. A small sound caught her attention and she gasped at the sight of a man standing not one metre away from her. The handle of the mug shattered in her grip and the entire thing smashed into jagged pieces on the floor as she went rigid with shock. She opened her mouth to scream.

"Selena, it's me." A quiet voice called out shakily and Selena's memories of the night before suddenly returned.

"Spencer? Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I didn't wake you did I?" she asked worriedly and, stupidly, took a step forward. She hissed as the tender bottom of her right foot landed on a shard of china, penetrating deep into her arch.

"Damn it." She exclaimed and limped over to the light switch. Light flooded the small kitchenette and she saw Spencer frozen by the counter, blinking hurriedly in the sudden blaze. He was dressed in his work shirt, pants and socks (which she noted with a small grin were oddly matched fluoro green and black) however his vest and tie were gone, without them she had to remind herself to breath... he was sweetly attractive when he was recently awakened and half dressed. She suddenly remembered her own lack of dress and tried to act casual as she stood beside the light switch in nothing more than a slightly see-through singlet top and old boxer shorts. It was just her luck to have a man in her apartment and be wearing the oldest pajamas she owned.

"S-selena I'm sorry I scared you, are y-you alright?" He asked, his gorgeous brown eyes wide with guilt as he stepped towards her. She nodded tiredly and relaxed, feeling her heart rate finally return to its natural pace.

"Yes, I'm fine Spencer… watch your step though." She warned and he paused, looking down her legs to her feet then back up to her face. His own was white.

"Selena, you're b-bleeding." He stuttered and moved quickly to her side. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her easily onto the counter top. The cool bench made the flesh of her buttocks, thighs and stomach ripple with goose bumps and even though he removed his hands from around her waist she could still feel the heat from them as though his very fingerprints were burnt into her skin. Her breath caught and she ached for the sensation to return, preferably with his hands in their proper position. However, much to her disappointment, he turned away and began searching the cupboards. Finally she pointed to her medi-cupboard and he pulled the safety kit out. Gingerly he grasped her heel and, avoiding her gaze like a guilty school boy, and set about carefully removing the shard of china and cleaning out the cut it left behind. He was extremely gentle, his fingers careful stitching her back together as she relished their contact, She hated whenever she instinctively flinched, the poor man froze and apologised every time.

"I'm sorry." He murmured over and over again as he gently wiped the stinging flesh with antiseptic and water. She smiled at his concern and waved it off, focusing on the wonderful feeling of his hands and the shameful one of the sting. She could feel the blood running down her foot, the slight prick of the cut as he cleaned it and the very sensations seemed so wonderfully releasing she had to bite her lip to stop her moan. Absentmindedly she raised her hand and ran it softly through his thick, brown hair. He'd completed in wrapping her foot and tensed slightly. She froze and looked away, her heart thumping so loudly she wondered if he could actually hear it.

"Selena?" He asked and she nodded slightly.

"Are you alright?" He asked and she shrugged nonchalantly and folded her arms over her chest.

"Of course Spencer, I just…" She trailed off, not really knowing what to say. There was a tense silence and she finally looked up at him. He was staring straight into her face, his hands planted on the bench beside her hips and his eyes begging her to tell him whatever it was. She noticed he had dark circles around his eyes and knew that between the two of them there must be enough psychological crap to fill a three year university text book. He looked as exhausted as she felt and yet his warm brown eyes made her feel all… she swallowed thickly and tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Selena, you can tell me anything… after what you went through, no one expects you to have to go through it alone… I just want you to know that." He said softly and blushed slightly as he looked down between them. She waited, her shrivelled heart stirring slightly.

"Morgan would laugh at me for this. You're just sitting there, half naked on your kitchen bench and all I want to do is make sure I never frighten you like that again." He said awkwardly and Selena exhaled softly. He was simply too perfect.

"Spencer?" She asked softly and he looked up at her. She swallowed and continued bravely, knowing she had to get everything off her chest now.

"Thank you, for everything. For stopping to talk to the weird, OCD freak-girl of West Vegas High, for actually taking the time on a girl like me, for saving my butt when I needed you most and simply being here with me now…" She started and he frowned.

"Don't ever say that." He said sharply and she flinched slightly. Idiot, she internally screamed at herself, stupid ugly moron. She waited for him to continue but when she looked up at him all she saw was stunned disbelief.

"Selena, you aren't weird and you are not a freak… you are beautiful, intelligent and unique, real where so many people are not and your quirks make you all the more special because they make you, you… I don't ever want you to say or think you aren't worth it, that's just him talking and he's not worth the thought." He said firmly and she was surprised to hear a note of definite anger in his voice. He was angry, not with her but for her, for her. Her entire body melted and without thinking she closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss.

Spencer POV:

His mind was blank. All he could feel and taste was Selena's wonderful lips on his. He wasn't completely clueless when it came to kisses, he'd made out with Leila Archer that one time and there had been a few spare moments in college it was just, well, he wasn't extremely good at it. Being considerably younger than the average female college graduate hadn't really been a winning scenario for him during school. Selena's lips left his as she drew back for a few moments to stare at him worriedly.

"Sorry, I… I don't know what c-came over me." She said breathlessly and Spencer was suddenly struck with the sickening feeling you could get after kicking a small puppy. Selena's enormous blue eyes were downcast and she looked near to tears as she wrung her hands nervously in her lap.

"Spencer…" She began but he simply leaned forward and returned her previous favour. Unlike before where his mind had gone white now he felt as though it were on fire. It was like an electric bolt had struck him square on the lips and spread outwards to the very ends of his fingers. Said fingers found themselves wound around her slim waist and pulling her closer to him as he cautiously pressed his lips against hers with no small amount of trepidation. Both were trembling slightly, Spencer was sure she could hear his heart beating right through his chest. His nervousness mounted but he pressed on. Under his hands he felt Selena's muscles relax and her entire body lean into him as her own hands coiled through his hair. The touch was a mixture of light caress and desperate pressure; as though she felt he might just slip away if she let him go... He felt a shiver run down his spine and he deepened the kiss as much as he could, slanting his mouth instinctively against hers. His mind was reeling so much he was barely aware of his body, simply allowing his hands to travel the full length of her back and come to rest on the slight swell of her hips not daring, even when he kissed her, to venture lower. Selena was moaning slightly, the sounds messing with his head… she wasn't in pain was she? He pulled back to ask but she simply took another breath and pulled his head back. He gave up and surrendered to the kiss, her lips opening beneath his like petals. In uncharted territory he let her lead, content to bring her as close to him as possible and follow her example than make anything of himself. Finally they broke apart, out of breath and blushing slightly. She looked pretty, dressed in nothing but pajamas and her usually pale cheeks painted a deep and somewhat blotched red… she was obviously one of those people that didn't blush prettily but Spencer thought it made her more beautiful than ever. He suddenly looked down to see her state of undress clearly for the first time and his body's reaction was almost instantaneous. He stepped back immediately and ran a nervous hand through his hair, ruffled from Selena's previous attention. Selena crossed her arms over her chest, crisscrossed her legs just above her knees and chewed her bottom lip; a trait he realised was linked to her self-consciousness. Suddenly she smiled and giggled. She glanced up at him in amusement and finally spoke.

"Wow! I haven't been in high school for over a decade and yet I feel like a guilty little girl all over again." She muttered and he couldn't help but laugh. Soon the pair of them were laughing hysterically, for no other reason but pure ridiculousness. A small sound made them look around and a sleepy eyed Lucy stepped out of Selena's bedroom, one thumb in her mouth and the other rubbing her eye vigorously. She peered at them tiredly and smiled, her face falling slightly at the sight of Spencer.

"What's so funny Mummy?" She asked warily and Selena's face immediately fell. She looked as though she'd been kicked hard in the stomach and Spencer's own laughter died in his throat. He turned to face the little girl uneasily. He opened his mouth to say something but Selena rushed past him and hoisted the little girl up onto her hip, tickling her tiny ribs furiously and grinning brightly.

"We were waiting for her royal highness to finally wake up." She teased and Lucy screwed up her face and crossed her arms over her chest in childish indignation.

"I was tired." She moaned and Selena chuckled.

"I know Princess but any longer and I would be forced to cook grown-ups only pancakes…" She said and winked over at Spencer who relaxed now that a crisis was averted. It wasn't that he didn't like children, in fact he actually enjoyed being around them, it was simply what Hotch called the 'Reid Effect' and there was nothing anyone could do to change the fact that children hated him.

"Is he saying for breakfast?" Lucy asked quietly and Selena smiled over at Spencer before fixing the little girl with a small frown.

"Lucy it's not polite to refer to people as 'she' or 'he', Spencer is my very good friend and he can stay for breakfast if he wants." She said firmly, making the little girl's chin wobble slightly.

"But…" She began but Selena cut her off at the Tee.

"But what? You don't like him? Between you and me Spencer's probably more scared of you than you are of him… look at him." She said lightly and whispered something into the tiny blonde's ear. Spencer shifted slightly, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. The little girl's expression shifted from wary to impish delight faster than a set of traffic lights and he grew infinitely more worried.

"Selena?" He called out and the two of them broke eye contact to look at him wickedly.

"I made the mistake of staying didn't I?" He asked and Selena grinned.

"Lucy, keep Spencer out of trouble while I make pancakes." She ordered and Lucy was put down. The little girl wavered for a fraction of a second and Spencer's heart sank. Then she walked casually over to where he stood and covered her eyes with her tiny hands.

"One… Two…" She began and Spencer sent Selena an exasperated look.
"Hide-and-seek? I'm a 28 year old triple Ph.D holder with an IQ of 187..." He began and Selena waved him away as she turned to fiddle with her kitchen stove.

"Who is about to be beaten at said hide-and-seek by a six year old..." She said smartly and Spencer fled, rolling his eyes at the sound of her infectious laughter.

It was some time later, after seven games of hide-and-seek and a staggering breakfast of pancakes, maple syrup and fruit, that the doorbell finally rang. Selena, who was now dressed in a black turtle-neck jumper and jeans, paused in her capers with little Lucy who was sitting on the lounge room with a stack of papers and crayons. Spencer saw the life drain slowly out of her as she turned to the little girl who paused in her cheerful colouring.

"Mummy what's wrong?" She asked and Selena flinched. She looked desperately over at Spencer and he nodded. Woodenly he moved to the door and opened it to reveal Hotch and a stern grey haired woman from the child services department. Hotch nodded in greeting and introduced the woman as Maria Carper. He grimaced and stepped aside to let them in. Lucy was staring at the new comers in confusion and clung to Selena tightly. She stared up at her 'adopted' mother and her enormous blue eyes filled with tears.

"Mumma, what's going on, why are they here?" She warbled and Spencer felt powerless as Selena fought her own dismay to allay the girl's fears.

"You can't stay here right now Princess… I'm not allowed to be your Mummy just yet." She said firmly and took a deep breath as Lucy's lip began to quiver and the blue eyes overflowed with the turbulent tears.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" She screamed and gripped Selena's legs in what was probably a death grip that even an oyster couldn't match.

"Lucy please listen to me." Selena begged but the little girl shook her head and Selena tossed Maria an unimpressed look.

"You're really going to take her from me?" Selena demanded harshly and Maria who stood, tight-lipped and silent, sighed heavily and pushed her thick rimmed glassed further up her nose.

"You're a psychiatrist what do you think?" She said briskly and put down the briefcase she carried. She stood straight before them all and squared her shoulders.

"I'm sorry but the law is the law, she needs a stable home, loving parents and a life away from the reminders of what you went through… I know you love this child, Aaron has explained to me the details and I am going to see what I can do but for now all our hands are tied." She said and her soft Boston accent filled the tomb-like apartment. Selena looked over at him pleadingly and he moved to stand beside her. He searched his chief's eyes for some hope but the dark haired man grimaced and rubbed his face. Selena seemed to collapse slightly within herself and barely grasped her composure. Plastering a smile on her face she knelt beside Lucy and hugged her tightly. The little girl clung to her desperately.

"Lucy, I love you so very much and I promise we are going to be together again." She promised and the little girl began to sob.

"Mumma! No, I want to stay with you…" She wailed and even Hotch looked faintly uneasy.

"I know Princess but you can't stay with me right now, it's not allowed." Selena said and Spencer could barely take it anymore. He placed a hand gently on her shoulder, clueless as to how he could help, and squeezed it reassuringly. She grimaced and kissed the little girls forehead.

"Lucy I want you to promise me something." She commanded and the little girl nodded tearfully.

"I need you to be a big girl and to do what Ms Carper tells you. She's a good friend of mine and she's going to look after you while Spencer and I sort this all out." She said and Spencer flashed a glance at Hotch.

"Okay." Lucy said tremulously and threw her thin arms around Selena's neck tightly, covering her faces in kisses and crying her distress for the whole street to hear.

"I love you too Mummy." She said softly but the whole room heard. Selena's shoulder trembled beneath his hand and Spencer brought her back to a standing position. She leaned against him slightly, as though drawing something from him. She waved goodbye to Lucy who had walked over to Maria.

"Mummy? Will you keep my drawings safe, until I come back?" She asked and Selena nodded.

"Of course I will bubba." She said softly and blew her a small kiss. Maria smiled and ushered the little girl out the door, leaving the three of them alone.

"Aaron, thank you… I know this isn't going to be easy but…" She trailed off. Hotch shook his head stiffly.

"I have some good friends upstairs. This is going to happen right, I promise." He said seriously and Selena nodded. She crouched and picked up the drawings scattered on the floor. They were covered in sweet little drawings and Selena sighed heavily as she piled them together.

"Well, life waits for no woman and I have a job to get to… I'll call you soon Spencer." She said dismissively and both profilers could recognised a self-imposed isolation case from a mile away. Hotch frowned at Spencer and indicated for him to do something quickly. Spencer tried to get his sleep-deprived brain to start working but nothing was functioning and he grimaced.

"Selena," Hotch said finally and she nodded, walking the room as she gathered her work things together. She seemed like a robot and it hurt him to watch.

"I need you to drop by Garcia's sometime soon… she asked me to tell you she has some information to show you." He said and Selena stared at him curiously.

"She could've rung me." She pointed out but Hotch smirked.

"You had company." He said frankly and gave the two of them an amused expression that sent Spencer into a fit of coughs and caused Selena to blush a furious shade of violent crimson.

"We… I beg your… what?" She stuttered and Hotch grinned before nodding a parting to the pair and departing swiftly. With that bomb shell dropped the pair stood silent until the stairs creaked, announcing all vacation of outer persons. Selena let out a tremulous breath and blew a stray strand of hair out of her eyes before leaning heavily on the table. Unsure of what to do with himself Spencer waited until she looked up at him and her eyes narrowed slightly. He felt worried at the look, which was darkening her usually bright blue eyes.

"Selena do you…?" He began and she frowned.

"I'm fine Spencer." She said sharply and turned away. He coughed and shifted his weight uneasily.

"Selena…?" He tried again but she cut him off again with a whirl on her heel.

"Spencer, glad as I am that you've been here for me… I need you to go now." She said stiffly and he flinched. Deeply hurt at her behaviour he nodded monotonously before turning on his heel and stalking to the door. Fury built and he spun as he reached the door.

"I'm sorry if my friends and I get in the way of your life… I thought perhaps things could be different between us but it seems you don't really need our help." He said harshly and almost wished he hadn't said it. Her face fell and she looked almost as hurt as he felt.

"Spencer, wait!" She called after him but he was too angry. Slamming the door behind him he spun on his heel, navigated her treacherous stairs and left her apartment block. He drove angrily for a few blocks then sighed. He pulled over suddenly as the reality of what he had just done hit him with all the force of a train. Not usually a violent person he shocked himself by swearing violently and pounding his fist into the steering wheel.

Selena POV:

She stared at the closed door in shock and horror. Had he just…? Yes, it would appear her stupidity had once again pissed off another potential boyfriend. Covering her face in her hands she finally let out her tears, harrowing sobs shaking her entire body as she slunk to the floor. He had left her, just up and left her when she needed him most and had the gall to blame it all on her. Fury as well as sorrow mixed in her tears and she sobbed even harder. It wasn't fair, what did she have to do for the universe to actually work for her and not against her.

"Stupid idiot… who needs him?" She said furiously and stood, brushing lint from her jeans as she did so. Angrily she sought her glasses, cleaned the whole kitchen and was out the door before the clock struck eight thirty.

Two hot chocolates, four entire sessions later she was officially ready to call it a day. She still had another four and it was going to be hard enough with her current mood fouler than the 15th century Thames. She was angry at the world, at the state and at Spencer but most of all she was angry at herself for getting herself into all of this. Her long break had left her disorganised and unfit, her notes had to be fetched in from the office (a building she loathed with all her being) and she was puffing heavily every time she pulled into the address of her clients. The office had been terrible for all the wrong reasons, everyone wanting to know how she was when she was in a foul mood and said hold ups making her exactly 6 minutes late for her appointments sending her into a whirl of chaos. Her bike literally flew over Quantico and not for the first time she wished she had a car. The thought pulled her up suddenly. Perhaps it was time to stop living like some god darned bohemian and actually sober up. She shook her head and pushed on, late by just two minutes as she approached the next house call.

It was close to 5:30pm by the time she finally rolled over to her apartment block. She chained her bike and mounted her stairs, swallowing thickly as she realised the emptiness of the place without Lucy or Spen… she cut herself off at the quick before the pain got to her. She unlocked her door and walked into her apartment, placing her jacket on its hook, her bag in its place and replacing her shoes to their appropriate places within her wardrobe. As she flung herself onto her velvet couch she sighed and wrapped her arms around the pillow she'd put there last night. She breathed in the scent of it and felt immediately calm. She drew it closer and smiled. Then she sat bolt upright as the reality of what she had done hit her with all the force of a bullet. Not usually a violent person she shocked herself by swearing violently and pounding her fist into the innocent pillow that reminded her of just how much of a moron she was.

"Oh god help me." She muttered and slumped back against the lounge. The was a crinkling of paper and she pulled out the pile of drawings she had promised to safe guard for Lucy that morning. She filed through them rapidly before coming to rest on one that made her eyes burn with sudden tears. There was a little blonde girl sitting at a table, a pile of pancakes (flat, brown circles) before her and a black haired woman in her pajamas and a brown haired man with odd socks on his feet. All three of them had smiles on their faces, coloured bright red and glaring at her painfully in the darkening room. She smothered another round of sobs with her hand, placing the drawing down beside her. The pillow was brought back into her arms and cuddle excessively. With these two parcels in her hands she slowly drifted off to sleep, her dreams strangely void of anything… there was no pain, no happiness and no family.

Oh my God depressing chapter but hell they finally kissed right? Next chapter should be about Memorium and JJ's baby... watch this space.