GASP! I'm BACK! SOOOO sorry I haven't posted in such a long time! I'm a horrible person! Sigh… self-pity done...

Disclaimer: nopeskis

Why?

That was the only question going through Kisuke's mind at the moment.

Why?

Why did people have to be so opposed to him?

Why did they have to call him names like stupid children?

Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

Why?

Kisuke squeezed his eyes shut, fighting tears as another blow was dealt to his chest. He was used to this. He was used to the occasional gang beatings and gang rapes. It happens when you don't worship a god; when you're openly homosexual; when you're able to talk to the dead and make contact with them; when you're a freak.

A dry sob escaped his lips as one called him a fucking fag. He didn't usually show how fragile his feelings were, but right now, he just let it bother him. It would pass, just like it had always done before. He would go home and vanish into the shower before anyone saw how bloody he was. He would wear long sleeved clothes for a while, until the welts and bruises went away. He would stay just a little bit more quiet than usual, saying he was tired to fight the depression.

Kisuke coughed up blood onto the dirt, making the men laugh loudly. His nose was bleeding hard and he had to breathe through his mouth, making the cries of pain more obvious. His long hair was slowly falling out, getting caked in blood. The men drug him to his feet, calling him things like 'fucker' and 'demon spawn' and telling him to 'go back to where he came from' and to 'drop dead'. Kisuke nearly vomited as he got punched in the gut again.

How long had this been going on? Kisuke had lost count at 2 minutes. He had to focus on being a hard shell.

He couldn't let this show to anyone. He couldn't let Iruka see this. He couldn't let his students see this. He couldn't let his sisters see this. And he most certainly couldn't let Kakashi see this. Kisuke had no idea what Kakashi would do, but he had a feeling that it would be bad.

He was punched hard in the face, making his nose gush even more red fluid down his face. It wasn't a pale face anymore. Before he got jumped, he'd gotten many complements on how tan he'd gotten in the Land of Wind. He looked like an orange haired, scar-less version of Iruka, more or less.

Kisuke's eye barely opened, too bruised and puffy to do more than part by a crack. He spat blood onto to ground, gritting his teeth as more blows hit against his body. His arm was twisted sharply, making the man cry out in pain.

'This will be over soon,' he thought.

'This will all be over soon enough.'

Kakashi stood impatiently by his favorite book store. It was very well know that the two met there every afternoon, although most couldn't tell exactly why. After their first date, none seemed to know exactly what the nature of their relationship was, though most could infer that they were on friendly terms.

Kakashi sighed, looking up at the sky. What was keeping him? Kisuke was like Iruka; he was known for being on time. Hell, Kakashi had beaten him here, and that's saying something! Kakashi shifted to his other foot.

Maybe he forgot? Kakashi shook that thought immediately. Kisuke had a scary good memory, which is why he was always sent on intelligence missions.

Was Kakashi being stood up? Again, Kakashi dismissed the thought. Kisuke would never do that, no matter how angry he got.

So where the hell is Kisuke?

Kakashi sighed and slowly began trudging back to his apartment. He would just have to look for him later. It really disappointed him; he was looking forwards to seeing him today. Well, he looked forwards to seeing him every day, but that was beside the point.

Kakashi shuffled down the street, pondering about the unpleasant development in his day, when he heard something.

Something that sounded like a certain exorcist.

Kakashi frowned and dumbly looked left and right. He wasn't anywhere in sight. Realizing that he could do better than that, Kakashi strained his ears and listened.

Somewhere, a little father off from where he was, he heard something that sounded like a bitten back cry of pain.

Kakashi picked up his pace, already fearing the worst. He was very protective of Kisuke, and the determined look on his face proved it. The noises were getting nearer. The louder they got, the faster Kakashi went. He was in a dead on sprint by the time he came to an abandoned alleyway. He slid into the entrance, stopping cold.

Kisuke was surrounded by a bunch of big thugs.

Blood was pouring out of his nose and down his face.

His right arm hung dead by his side.

Kisuke looked up, only able to fully open one eye; the other was swollen shut.

A slow tear glittered down his face when his eyes locked with the Copy Ninja's.

And Kakashi flipped shit.

Kisuke felt horrible.

Sure, you would think so, he just got the shit beat out of him, but that wasn't what he felt bad about.

He screamed at Kakashi, but highly doubted that he heard him.

He felt awful, and not for the reasons most people would think.

He didn't like seeing Kakashi this upset.

The silver haired man was acting like a completely different person.

Kisuke was well aware that Kakashi was an ex-Anbu, and that he was one of the top jonin in the village; he was extraordinarily strong, and that was something that made the exorcist proud.

But right now, he was just...

Frightening.

Kisuke tried to stand up, to make him stop and to calm him down, but pain in his ribs made him double over and the blood loss made his head spin wildly. So he just sat there, praying to anything and everything that someone would find them and make him stop. He watched painfully as Kakashi all but murdered Kisuke's attackers.

And it was terrifying.

No one would ever guess that Kakashi could lose it. Sure, he got ticked off like anyone else, but no one would expect him to go completely ballistic.

But when he saw Kisuke, his Kisuke, he couldn't stop himself. Kisuke looked so powerless, so upset and in pain, he looked so weak, and Kakashi couldn't handle that. Kakashi was possessive. And Kisuke belonged to him. He made it his job when he became the orange haired exorcist's lover to protect him from as much as he could. He was already late, he saw that from all the blood, but he certainly was going to make the most of what time he had.

No one touches Kisuke like that.

No one hurts Kisuke without getting hurt in return.

No one tortures Kisuke without consequences.

No one.

Not while he was around.

Kisuke sat still as Shizune wrapped bandages around his chest. None were broken, thankfully, but a little less than half were dislocated. It hurt worse when they put them back into place, but if he held still enough and barely breathed, they would only dully ache. His eye and nose throbbed terribly, but he'd had worse. Once his ribs where bandaged into place, Shizune went to his arm, making Kisuke bite down hard onto his lip.

It wasn't broken, either, but the way it hung made it obvious that any bone that was once in a socket had been pulled out. Kisuke's grip on the examination table could've broken it if he really felt like it. The dark haired woman asked him if he was ready and Kisuke barely nodded. There was a loud, sick pop that made the orange haired man roared with pain. He breathed heavily through his teeth, trying not to cry again.

From outside, you could hear sounds of a struggle that quickly were calmed. Shouting and a few curse words reached his ears until all was silent once more. The guilt began pooling up in Kisuke's chest again and he looked the other way.

He knew exactly who was out there.

"Kisuke-san..?" Shizune was looking straight into his eyes when he looked up.

"I'm sure Kakashi-san doesn't blame you," she said softly, placing a hand on his knee. That hurt, but Kisuke didn't say anything about it. He just kept staring at the ground. Shizune took his arm and once again asked him if he was ready. Kisuke just shut his eyes.

He still felt awful.

Kakashi silently transported Kisuke back to their apartment. They had to tell Tsunade about their being together. That was the only way that Kisuke could explain what had happened. While surprised, Tsunade didn't seem to think it was a huge deal. She did make a point of telling them that they wouldn't be sent on many missions together with this development, but other than that, their secret was safe.

Kisuke hadn't looked at him after they got to the hospital. He just kept his gaze at the floor, looking miserable. Kakashi wanted to pound those stupid punks again. They were the ones who had made Kisuke act like this. He kept avoiding Kakashi, and quite frankly the silver haired man didn't like it.

Kakashi lied in their bed while Kisuke changed his clothes. Kisuke was always cold, which was one of the reasons why he liked sleeping with Kakashi so much. He would always wear long sleeved shirts and sweat pants to bed, no matter how hot it was. Kakashi was, shockingly, always very hot when he slept, and they counter balanced each other perfectly. Kakashi would usually just wear athletic shorts.

Kakashi heard Kisuke quietly turn off the light and walk over. He crawled under the blanket and curled up. Kakashi looked at him for a long time. Finally, he rolled over and very, very carefully wrapped his arm around the other man's thin waist.

They lied in a long silence. Neither moved or said anything. Kakashi stared at Kisuke's arms; one was covered in bandages and the other was in a sling. Kisuke stared at the ground.

"Kashi-kun..?"

"Mm?"

"I... I'm... sorry..."

Kakashi sat up and looked down at the battered man.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I wasn't strong enough to deal with it myself, so... I'm sorry."

Kisuke turned his head and looked up at Kakashi with his endless brown eyes. Kakashi saw something he hadn't seen before; submission. Hurt. Acceptance. Humiliation.

"Suke-kun, what do you mean, you weren't strong enough?"

"I don't think I should tell you…"

"Kisuke," the exorcist's eyebrow went up at that tone, "What do you mean?"

Kakashi stared at Kisuke while he thought.

"Do you remember that scar on my shoulder? The one that looks like a triangle?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"That's from the first time I got gang raped."

Kakashi just stared numbly at him as he gingerly raised the sleeve of his right arm.

"You see this?"

He pointed at a small, burn like scar.

"Cigarette burn. Asuma saved me that time, but dropped his cig by accident."

He turned his arm, pointing at one particularly vicious looking scar near the purple bruise from earlier.

"That time they used barbed wire or something like it. Lucky for me Anko was passing by."

He pushed his sleeve down and carefully lowered his arm.

"I'm used to it, Kakashi. This has been happening ever since I was about 18. I know people don't like me."

He curled up against the bigger man, hoping he'd drop it.

"Please, I don't want you to worry about this."

"How can I not worry about it, Kisuke?" Kakashi snapped, making the younger man look up.

"They hurt you! And that's not supposed to make me mad? I'm fucking furious! Do you have any idea how worried I was when I had to take you to the hospital? When you couldn't move one of your arms? Huh, do you?"

"Kakashi, stop it!"

Kakashi stared down at Kisuke's face. He looked terrified and tears were welling up in his eyes again. Instinctively Kakashi wrapped his arms around the other man, feeling something wet run down his bare chest.

"Kisuke, you're asking me to not care about you! Do you know how impossible that is?" he said in a quieter voice.

"I-I'm n-not asking y-you t-to!" Kisuke started shaking harder, clinging to Kakashi.

"Then what are you-?"

"I don't want you to be that mad ever again!"

Kisuke broke away from him, tears streaking down his face.

"You weren't you, Kakashi. You weren't the man I fell in love with. You were someone else. You were… You were positively terrifying," he barely breathed.

Kakashi suddenly began to realize why Kisuke was avoiding him.

He was afraid.

What's worse, he was afraid of Kakashi.

Shit.

"I never want to see you like that. Ever again," Kisuke said in a little less than a whisper, "I… I just can't handle it… Not again…"

"Suke-kun…" Kakashi all but broke from his words. He wrapped him up into another gentle but strong hug.

"I… I didn't mean to act like that… Suke-kun, I love you. I love you so much, and I promised myself I would protect you. That's all. I got upset because I love you. I never meant to scare you."

Kisuke held onto Kakashi tightly, biting back the pain so he could keep the other man close.

"I love you too… but you can't act like that…"

"How about I only act like that if you get hurt..?"

Kisuke stayed silent for a little bit, concerning Kakashi. Suddenly, Kisuke bit him in the chest, making Kakashi give out a frightened yelp.

"How about you stop acting like a bloody arse?" Kisuke looked up at the older man with a teasing glint in his eyes. He curled up against Kakashi again, and this time he just held him close.

"You know, I just now noticed, but you look good with a tan!"

Kisuke blinked at Kakashi, "You honestly just now noticed?"

Kakashi gave him a sheepish smile and Kisuke rolled his eyes.

"Give me a break, Suke-kun; I just noticed that I've been out of food for a week!"

"Kashi-kun, I personally think you were just being lazy," Kisuke sighed, rolling his wrist around in the sling. Kakashi quickly pecked his cheek, making his newly tanned face turn red.

"Just for that, you're going grocery shopping by yourself!"

"Aw, Suke-kun!"

"Go!"

Kakashi sighed loudly and made a big production of getting dressed and leaving to go.

"Kakashi, hold up!"

Kakashi turned and was pleasantly surprised when Kisuke softly pressed their lips together. He slipped a piece of paper into his hand.

"Things Hokage-sama said I'd need," he murmured, kissing the sliver head again.

"Hurry home…"

"I will…"

"I love you…"

"I love you too."

What is with my fixation with torturing Kisuke? It'll get better, I promise! No more angsty chapters for a while, I promise!

Please R&R! Be first and get a chapter dedicated to you!