Tony's apartment couldn't be more quiet. TV was off, not even a sound of a radio, just a silent raining on the outside.

He lied in the bed with Ziva. She was resting in his arm completely naked and breathing calmly. Tony drew circles on her back and they both stared at the ceiling.

"This cannot go on," she said quietly and took a deep breath.

Tony gazed her quickly, "What are you talking about?"

"Us," she said and raised to rest on her elbow, "We cannot keep doing this."

"And why is that?" he raised to his elbow and brushed a little stress of hair from her face. She took a grip out of his wrist and stopped his actions, "Tony..."

"What?" he lowered his hand and looked her in the eyes, "What's wrong?"

"This is wrong," Ziva inhaled and sat up, "What are we even doing?"

Tony sat up too and moved her between his legs. He pulled her close and kissed her back, "This" he whispered and kissed her neck, "And this" he breath out and nipped her earlobe.

Ziva shivered and pulled away, "Stop."

Tony's small smile faded to doubt, "What's wrong?"

Ziva turned around to face him, "We have to come clean."

"Why? Isn't this enough?" he asked and smiled, "Because this is really enjoyable."

Ziva watched him leaning towards her and felt his lips on hers. She let him linger on her for a while, before she pulled away, "Tony, please."

He finally gave up and lied down, "Talk to me."

Ziva looked at his eyes. He waited so innocently for an answer or a problem that he could solve or fix.

"We cannot keep hiding," she said quietly.

He looked at her and took her hand. He pulled her next to him and held as close as possible, "We are not hiding. We are under a protection."

"What?" Ziva frowned.

"From Gibbs and his coffee filled rage," Tony said and shivered, "He will kill us."

"This is not funny," Ziva sighed for his childish behavior.

"No, totally not. I wanna live a little bit older," Tony said and smiled.

Ziva punched him slightly, "Idiot."

Tony smirked and kissed her. He pulled her closer and ran his fingers on her back. He breathed in her scent and it drove him wild. He rolled on top of her and buried his face on her neck.

Ziva let out a little laugh out of the tickles of his gentle kisses.

Tony lifted his body for a little while, just to smile at her, "We don't need to hide, but I still strongly suggest it, since you know, Gibbs can get a little angry."

Ziva shrugged and stretched her neck to capture his lips.

He lowered himself down and made his way on her flushed body. Tony dropped kisses on the curve of her breasts and on her belly.

"You are enjoying this too, so let's just enjoy this before jumping into an early grave because of Gibbs," Tony mumbled and threw the blanket over them. It covered her sharp inhales and his groans of pleasure.

Ziva sat on the kitchen counter and watched the rain falling to the ground. The sound it made was soothing but it turn the world a little bit sadder. She sighed and thought about her whole situation.

All these nights with Tony, all the days she had to control herself and shed all those lies. The days were particularly hard, because who knew it would be so hard to keep the normal eye contact content? Who knew that a slight touch could give the butterflies on your stomach a permission to spread their wings and fly? Who knew that the urge to touch one another sometimes grew so high, they had to leave the scene? This wasn't ever like this before - the tension had never been this high.

Every time she looked at him, she could almost feel his touch on her skin. How could it be possible? Well, it just was.

And all the lies.

She couldn't keep a count of them anymore. She lied to Gibbs, Abby, McGee and all the rest of the team and maybe even to herself. She tried to cover up her affair with Tony. No one would understand them and what they had.

She dropped her gaze to the floor and wiped her face. She was in so much trouble if she would get caught. But when she looked at the man who walked to the kitchen, moved between her legs and wrapped his arms around her – she didn't care, because there still was a chance that this all would be worth it.

"You're up early," Tony noticed and kissed her neck.

"Could not sleep," she said and pushed him away, "We need to talk."

Tony frowned, but didn't start to resist her, because in the end she would win, "Fine, talk."

Ziva jumped off the counter and sat on to the kitchen chair, "We need to tell Gibbs, before he figures this out himself. We need to tell him."

Tony leaned against the counter, wiped his face and sighed, "He will be so pissed off."

"I know, but I am so tired of lying," Ziva said and stood up. She walked to him and sighed, "He needs to know," she said and smiled quickly.

"That smile tells me that I'm going to be the one who tells him, right?" Tony sighed with a painful expression on his face.

"It is a man's job," Ziva smiled with a relief. Gibbs was going to know soon and he would get use to this all. It would take some time, but it would happen eventually.

Tony frowned, pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly.

"I should do it as soon as possible. Thank Jesus it's a free day and that I know where to find our fearless leader," he said and searched his car keys, while making his way to the door.

"Um, Tony?" Ziva tried to hold a laugh.

"What?" he turned to her.

"Are you going to walk out the door looking like that?" she let out a giggle.

Tony looked down on himself and found out that boxers might not be the right outfit. He smirked and ran to the bedroom.

Ziva sat back down on the kitchen chair and watched Tony ran from a one direction to another, trying desperately to find his jacket and car keys. This man is lost in his own home, Ziva thought to herself and smiled.

"Okay, I'll go now to meet the wrath of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. See you later," he smiled quickly and opened the door..

"Tony! Wait!" Ziva said and stood up. Tony stopped before he stepped into the cold air outside.

"Good luck," she said with a hint of a worry in her voice.

"I need more than luck, I need a miracle," Tony said and smirked.

Ziva narrowed her eyes and flashed a teasing smile, "Once you come home, we can arrange that," she said lightly. She could almost feel his excitement jumping few levels upper and she could see the spark in his eyes, that always lit up, when her words found that teasing sound.

Tony thought for a while and his smile widened when he imagined them two together, "I'll be back in no time!" he said and rushed away.

His eager words made her laugh a little, but once he was gone, the silence fell everywhere and the smile on her face faded to doubt. Ziva had a bad feeling about this all – a really bad feeling.

first chapter of this fic of mine. i already apologize, that it doesn't have a huge solid idea behind it, this is purely a spread of my own emotions.
but i don't owns ncis, which is sad, but i hope you even tried to enjoy ~