Here I come again I really enjoyed writing this, even though it not 'high literature', and I like the story. And I hope you do, too.

Ah, technically we're still before 4x9, in case you're wondering, but there is one pretty obvious reference to the first time Guinevere ditched Arthur for Lancelot, way back in season 2, before they were actually together. History repeats itself. It happened before. And it will happen again.

And finally, Merlin faces a lot of embarrassment.

Disclaimer: It's all BBC, alright? Now back off.

Warnings: Plain old slash. Obviously.

The Toddler

– Chapter Four: Aftermath –

Arthur more or less stared into the air, while Merlin hurried upstairs and locked the door behind him.

"I think he might be a little overreacting", he told Gaius.

"I think he has a lot to think about, Sire", Gaius gave back earnestly. "I wonder if he remembers."

"Well, the one way to find out is ask", Arthur stated and got up.

"Do you think this is the best moment, Sire?"

Arthur walked to the stairs and stopped. Turning to Gaius, he said. "How is that moment different from others?"

He didn't, however, wait for the answer. He figured, Gaius would have a lot to say about that, but he was convinced, he did the right thing just now.

He knocked. "It's me", he said, just loud enough for Merlin to hear him through the door, but also just not loud enough for Gaius to hear him downstairs.

"Go away."

Not the reaction Arthur had hoped for. "I don't succeed in trying to see what I did to hurt you feelings this time."

"It's not about what you did."

"Then it must be something you did and I assure you, you did nothing wrong. So why don't you let me in?"

It was silent behind the door for a while.

"Love…" Arthur began.

"I'm confused." And he really was. Arthur heard it in the tune of his voice.

"Then, please, let me in and help you sort it out."

The only response was, finally, the lock opening.

Arthur walked in and closed the door behind him. Merlin, now dressed, was standing in the middle of the room.

"You – I…You know about my magic!" He cried.

"Yes…" Arthur said slowly, rethinking the idea of nearing his love.

"And you didn't tell me?"

A little offended, Arthur shook his head. "Might I remind you, that, more importantly…you didn't tell me?"

Merlin paled. "But I wanted to. I've always wanted to tell you, I've always wanted you to know. I've dreamed, that, just once you'd see me for – but I was so afraid, I couldn't work up the courage, I was so afraid you'd hate me…I – I don't – I, mean, I didn't…I don't know what I mean." He sat down on his bed and hid his head in his hands.

"You idiot", Arthur said smiling and sat down next to him, sliding an arm around his waist. "How could I hate you?"

Merlin, expectedly, snuggled into the embrace. "How long have you known?" he asked Arthurs chest.

"Suspected", Arthur corrected and caressed Merlin's back. "Suspicions, now and then, ever since – do you remember, all those years ago, you drank poison and I had to get that flower as an antidote?"

Merlin groaned. "That long?"

"What I wanted to ask, did you send that light to me?"

"I was unconscious", Merlin reminded him. "Though, I think Gaius mentioned something like that." He looked up. "It's not a good thing though, I – I only had started learning how to properly use it, back then and – I was in a major lack of control. I have the hope, this doesn't happen anymore."

And now, Arthur decided, it was time for the hardest question. "Why have you decided to learn it anyway?"

Merlin smiled sadly. "Decided? Who says I decided, who says any of us decided? I was born with the power, like I was born with black hair. I didn't decide – I didn't have a choice. Either you have the power or you don't."

Arthur was willing to believe Merlin's every word, but these hit him hard. Had he been persecuting people all his life, not because they were evil, but because of something they were born with? Could it be that his father had been wrong about everything?

"I inherited it", Merlin said. "From my father. You met him, he's -" He stopped and looked at the floor again.

Arthur kissed Merlin's forehead. "Tell me. Please, I forgive you; I'm the one who should be sorry, just – no more lies, please?"

"The dragonlord", Merlin's voice was barely a whisper. "Balinor."

Oh no, you can't be serious. "Love." Arthur hugged him tight. "Love, you should have told me. I had no idea."

"And I don't blame that on you." Merlin sniffled. "The dragon…"

A horrible thought approached to Arthur. "It's not dead?"

"Neither is the egg", Merlin said miserably. "But I have them under control, I promise. And they like you…well; Aithusa doesn't know you but Kilgarrah…"

"You named them?" Arthur asked in disbelief.

"No, well, yes, Aithusa, but it is her name, you see…that's all you care about?"

Arthur smiled. "Well, the dragonlordthing hit me a little, and we're going to see to that, believe me, I'll not just leave you to keep yourself two dragons…but as much as you never seize to surprise me, looking back…it just makes too much sense."

For the first time now, Merlin looked him in the eyes. "Do you really mean that?"

"I already told you. I couldn't hate you, if I tried, I know you to well to think you were evil…of course it's more then I expected, of cause I'm surprised but…I guess I'll get shocked when I start thinking closer about it." Arthur smiled.

Merlin stared at him relieved. Then he kissed him. Brought his hands to Arthur's hair and just kissed him. Arthur tightened his grip around Merlin and kissed him back.

"I love you", he said when they parted. "You know I do."

"I know", Merlin sighed and hid his head in Arthur's neck. "I love you, too."

"And I'm sorry", Arthur continued. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry that you couldn't trust me. I'm sorry for her."

Merlin winced. "I was mean to her, wasn't I?"

"I don't think you're actually capable of being mean."

"If my suddenly appeared memories don't fail me, I pretty much told her I didn't even want to be touched by her." Merlin looked up. His face was a grimace. "I feel horrible."

Arthur stroked his cheek. "You didn't do this out of meanness. Your feelings for her are absolutely understandable and you take no blame in this."

"But I'm so ashamed", Merlin said. "Not only do you claim to have feelings for her, because you need a wife and for my sake want it to be her – a friend, someone trusted and a servant – and I have nothing better to do then get jealous."

"You are not to be ashamed. No, look at me. I am ashamed, because I play this scheme for her and because I hurt you in the process, but you have done nothing wrong – I even think in this matter you're the only one who's done nothing wrong."

"Neither has-"

"One word: Lancelot."

Merlin bit his lip. "You can't take it of me. As long as the jealousy is there, I will feel bad for it, but" He quickly kissed Arthur's cheek. "I really appreciate that you tried."

That barely manager du cheer Arthur up. He hated this farce, he hated it all. Well, at least no one was crying, no one was mad and after all, the revelation of Merlin's powers (and their extent) had been an improvement of the situation, hadn't it?

Positive thinking. One of the best ways to survive running a kingdom.

"Don't you have training at all anymore?" Merlin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "If I'm correct you should've been there some time ago. And what about yesterday? It appears as though you-" He stopped at smiled his ridiculously lovely smile, looking directly to Arthur's face. "You sang me to sleep?"

Arthur did not blush. Well, maybe a little.

He got up quickly. "Right. Training. I…"

"Arthur." Arthur turned to see, Merlin had gotten up as well. "That was a wonderful gesture. And it's a memory I'll hold to my heart."

Arthur smiled. I am, he thought when Merlin kissed him quickly, the luckiest man on earth.

When they came downstairs, making sure that no trace of tears was left on Merlin's face and that they had just enough space between them in order for Gaius not to become suspicious, the very same raised an eyebrow at them, but did not ask further questions.

Merlin walked to the table and picked something up. Arthur stopped in the door, when he noticed that the other was not following him. "Aren't you coming?"

Merlin looked up from his hands. "I just…I'm sorry; I'm still trying to sort my memory of the past days out and…" He smiled up at Arthur. "You were surprisingly nice all the time."

He walked up to him and as they left, Arthur recognized the thing as the stuffed dog. "It's not like I'm never nice."

"Not when we're in public. Completely different from earlier today. Did you like me so much better as a toddler?"

"Of cause not." Arthur watched Merlin carefully putting the dig in the pocket of his jacked. "It was just a welcome excuse to treat you like that – can you imagine what would happen if I bought you a toy now? – Even if I doubt that you'd want it."

"It's nice", Merlin said quietly. "And it's from you."

Arthur laughed. "Do you have any idea how much of a girl you are?"

They reached the training field the moment Merlin tried to answer and were interrupted by cheers.

Gawain was the first to near Merlin. "You're back", he exclaimed and clapped his shoulder.

"Did you figure that out on your own?" Arthur said amused.

"Do you remember?" Gawain asked Merlin without answering to Arthur. He shouldn't ignore his King. But once it could be overlooked in generosity.

"I'm not certain yet, but I think so – I'm still trying to organize the new memories…"

"And do you remember that you totally, spectacularly ditched me for him?" Gawain pointed an accusing finger at Arthur.

"I…do remember that, yes, but I think you know why." Merlin smiled.

"But we're friends, aren't we?"

"Yes, but I did not have the knowledge to tell a difference from being without Arthur and having evil things happening." Merlin blushed furiously as he said this, but Arthur just showed a satisfied smile.

The knights stopped laughing pretty soon, but were absolutely not ready for leaving poor Merlin alone.

"Well, he is your Arthur", Leon commented, causing the others (who had obviously heard the story) to practically roar with laughter.

Merlin looked at his shoes with sudden interest.

"His Arfur", Percival chuckled. "You can't misquote him like that."

"That was hardly my fault", Merlin protested weakly, but no one listened to him, so instead he sent Elyan a questioning look.

"That is our secret, I think", Elyan said, quietly, but not quietly enough, because everyone immediately started to ask about this 'secret'. Merlin just gave him the most thankful look Arthur had ever seen on him.

"Alright, that's enough now", Arthur said eventually.

"I bet, you know", Gawain muttered.

"I said enough! You're not here to tease servants, but to train, so let's get to it already."

And with that he started his daily showing of. He couldn't hep it if Merlin was in the audience.

That is the actual end now and I know it's a total fluff story, especially the way Arthur reacts to the magic. Yeah.

Leave me another review and thanks to everyone who read it. You guys totally didn't forget to be awesome.