Castle crept into the 12th, hunched over, glancing over his shoulder every two seconds. He wondered if he was imagining the looks he was getting. Inwardly, he doubted it. They were giving him a wide berth, practically parting for him. He made it to the Coffee Machine...

Nothing. No lightning bolt, no safe dropping on his head... maybe he was safe.

Scared, he peeked around the corner, just the tiniest bit. No sign of her.

"Hey bro."

"AHH!" Castle nearly levitated nearly a foot in the air. He tried to spin around, and ended up falling to the floor.

Esposito didn't even blink as Castle scrambled to get back up. "Switch to Decaf."

"Is she here?" Castle asked quietly.

"Who?" Esposito said innocently.

"You know who!"

"There was a multiple slaying on 42nd street. Five people gunned down. CSU is trying to peel their remains off the inside of a taxi-cab with a sponge." Esposito said lightly.

Castle took in a breath. "Whew. Lucky." "Wait, if that's happening way over on 42nd street, why aren't you there with her?"

"Because they have news-stands on 42nd street." Ryan said simply, standing next to his partner with a paper in his hand.

Castle felt his stomach drop. The two were all about loyalty to Kate. "You haven't... told her?"

"Nope." Esposito said easily. "And we took the liberty of hiding all the newspapers around the 12th."

Castle was suddenly aware of the entire precinct looking at him out of the corner of their eyes. They all knew. There wasn't a newspaper in sight either. He let out a breath. "Thank you."

"Don't thank us Bro." Esposito glared furiously. It was his 'my badge is in a drawer and the safety is off' face, and Castle wilted under it. "The only reason we didn't tell her was because we didn't want to be in range when she found out."

"I don't even know why you came in today." Ryan piped up. "Castle, what the hell were you thinking?"

"It was a joke! It was never going to happen! It was never meant to be published." Castle shrilled, nearly falsetto. "A damn freelancer from the New York Review of Books was doing an interview, and he went through the bin under my desk when I was…"

"Four years with the Department, you never heard of a Burn Bag?" Ryan was not amused.

Esposito was right with him, both of them glaring hard enough to set him on fire. "Not cool dude, not cool."

BAM!

The door the Precinct flew back on it's hinges hard enough to rattle the windows when it hit the wall; and every eye went to Castle. Gossip spread fast through the Cop Shop. They all knew what he'd done. A swift clopping sounded through the sudden silence, the familiar sound of someone marching on spike heels; and everyone knew that Detective Kate Beckett was on the warpath.

Castle swallowed, put on his best 'Mom, I know you're mad, but I can explain' expression, and turned to face the storm.

"RICHARD ALEXANDER CASTLE!" Beckett bellowed.

"She's middle naming him." Ryan whispered to his partner.

"This is gonna be bad." Esposito agreed.

Castle met her halfway into the room. "Listen, before you-"

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

"Look, I've already made the call. I know the editor personally. The guy will be doing fog reports from a lonely lighthouse by the end of the week. The papers screw up all the time, there'll be a retraction, an-"

"THE PAPERS!" Beckett shrieked, a pitch that nobody had ever heard her hit. "THE PRESS HAVE GOT HOLD OF THIS?"

Castle nearly fainted. "You didn't know that?" He sent a look across the Precinct, and about thirty cops swiftly pretended to be doing something else. He spun on Ryan and Esposito, who quickly held up their hands, staying well out of it. "Well if they didn't tell you, how'd you find out?"

"I told her."

Castle blinked as Beckett stepped aside, revealing Alexis right behind her, hands on her hips and about as mad as her father had ever seen her.

"Not good." Esposito whispered. "His women are tag-teaming him."

"He doesn't have a prayer." Ryan agreed with the experience of an Irish man with several sisters.

"Alexis, why would you tell her this?" Castle hissed.

"Because she has a gun." Alexis snapped.

"Two of them in fact." Becket snarled.

Castle was still struggling to figure out his daughter. "Why are you being so mean to daddy?"

"You named the kid after me!" Alexis screamed. Nobody had ever heard her scream before. "I know that your diseased imagination uses these books to live out your fantasy life but-"

"Hey!" Castle objected.

"Interrogation room! Now!" Beckett snapped, before raising her voice enough to be heard by those in the room. "And anyone decides to watch, there will be… retribution."

Castle swallowed. "Why can't we stay out here? Where we have some... um, witnesses?" He turned to the entire room, looking for support.

Beckett turned to them as well. "Are there any witnesses present?"

Thirty cops in the room, all of them looking away. Doomed, Castle slumped, and obediently went into the Interrogation Room.

"I'll be bad cop." Alexis told Beckett as they filed in.

"The hell you will. You're family. Lay on the guilt. I'm the one with the guns, remember?"

Esposito sighed and took the paper out from under his chair, reading the article again.

Pre-Heating the Bun in Richard Castle's Oven

Big things are coming in the world of noir literature, as famed Mystery writer Richard Castle prepares the fifth in his Nikki Heat series. Rumors suggest that the now movie-famous Detective Heat will be pregnant in the upcoming novel. As the book is in its early stages, there has been no speculation yet as to who may father the new character of young Alexis Heat, but those close to the Castle family have speculated that there may be more truth than fiction…

AN: Heh. Just a passing thought. No real plot here, and it probably won't get a second chapter. Read and Review!