Title: Trying Not To Love You
Rating: T
Pairing: AlbusScorpius
Beta: ChronicxxInsanity

Dedicated to xNomii because she's awesome. Happy Birthday!

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you more

Nickelback – Trying Not To Love You

It wasn't love. It was a crush. A phase, even. One of these days, Albus thought, he'd wake up and realise that he was, in fact, completely straight. And that Scorpius Malfoy really wasn't that hot. Not at all.

It was harder to think that when he was standing shirtless in front of you.

"That last one was a great save, Al," the blond said, drying his hair roughly with a towel and making it stick up in all directions. "I was sure you were going to miss it."

"Gaaah," is what Albus' brain said as small droplets of water trickled over Scorpius' perfect, perfect abs. Somehow his mouth managed to turn that into, "Thanks. I guess I got lucky."

"Don't be so modest," Scorpius said, slapping Albus on the back and almost sending him flying into the wall. Albus stumbled, and Scorpius looked briefly concerned. Then he shrugged it off. "You're a good keeper. Bask in the glory."

Albus shook himself from his reverie. For Merlin's sake, he wasn't some twelve year old girl with a crush! He was seventeen! He might be constantly horny, but he did have the ability to pretend he didn't fancy the pants off his best mate. "Nah," he said casually, pulling on his robes. "I'll leave that to you and your big head. You bask in the glory enough for both of us."

Scorpius attempted an affronted look before he decided it was too much effort. "Someone has to," he said lazily, pulling on a shirt. Suddenly, the temperature of the room dropped several degrees and the haze in Albus' mind cleared away. "Ravenclaws are too modest. I knew I should have insisted the Hat place me in Slytherin."

Albus didn't say anything to that. He was probably the only person Scorpius had told about his sorting. The Hat had wanted to place him in Slytherin, of course; no one expected the last of the Malfoy line to go anywhere else. But to the entire hall's surprise, the ragged piece of fabric had called out "Ravenclaw". Two minutes later, a thrilled Albus had joined him.

It wasn't until six years later that Scorpius confided to the Potter that he'd begged the hat to put him anywhere other than Slytherin. "It's where my father wanted to go," he told Albus. "He's caught up in the past; in pureblood bigotry and the insistence that the old families should be in charge. I can't stand it at home, and it would be even worse if I got put in Slytherin. I don't believe in what he does, and I want to be more than my father's son. I can't do that if I only ever follow in his footsteps."

So Albus didn't say a word. Instead he offered a small smile and tapped his foot in impatience. Scorpius huffed, but moved quicker, and soon they were striding across the lawns.

"I suppose you're going to disappear off to the library, are you?" Scorpius asked. "Your stupid charms project again?"

"Mhm," Albus said. Hogwarts was trying a stupid internal assessment thing that meant a lot of their classwork now counted towards their final grades. Flitwick had set them a huge research task that was worth almost half of their final grade, and it was due in two weeks. Albus was really starting to freak out about it.

"You should've been clever like me, and taken Astronomy," Scorpius said.

"Yeah, but I would have failed," Albus pointed out. He hated the entire subject, and made a point of doing minimal study for the exams.

"I could have helped," Scorpius pointed out. "I managed to tutor Madeline Camler from a failed mark into an "exceeds expectations" in Transfiguration.

"She exceeded expectations by answering more than one question," Albus pointed out. "And I really do like charms. I just wish there wasn't so much work."

"So do I," Scorpius said. "It's dead boring when you're studying."

They reached the Great Hall and paused. Albus wanted to say something, but then he made the mistake of looking into Scorpius' grey eyes, and the words simply fled from his mind.

Scorpius reached up to touch Albus' face. The black haired boy stopped breathing for a moment. What was happening? Could Scorpius really be…?

He wiped his thumb across Albus' cheek and pulled it away. "You missed some mud, numbskull," Scorpius laughed. "Honestly, did you shower at all?"

Then he turned around and headed towards the Ravenclaw common room, leaving Albus looking very red and feeling very stupid for believing that Scorpius' feelings could possibly be more than platonic.

xXx

Albus had tried to get over Scorpius, he honestly had. He'd gone out with a girl, convinced that he could fall in love with her and this whole thing with Scorpius would disappear. After the first date, he changed his hypothesis; the only feelings the girl aroused in him were annoyance and disappointment that it wasn't Scorpius trying to find any excuse to kiss him.

He'd also tried to put distance between him and his best friend. That had ended so badly that he never tried it again. After four days of being utterly miserable without Scorpius, James (James, who absolutely loathed Scorpius on principle) pulled Albus aside, told him he was being a dick, and that he had to make up with Scorpius - or else.

Albus had never asked what the "or else" was, but he did apologise to Scorpius who was more than happy to go back to how things were.

And finally, he'd tried waiting, sure that his romantic feelings for his best friend would soon fade, leaving behind only the platonic friendship he'd felt for the blond previously.

He was still waiting.

So now, all he could do was to continue waiting for the feelings to disappear and gawp at Scorpius in the showers after Quidditch practice as much as he could without said boy noticing. It really wasn't a situation he was happy with, but what else could he do?

It seemed that the only thing his terrible strategies did was make it even harder to ignore his feelings for Scorpius.

xXx

Scorpius found Albus later that day hunched over several books on experimental charms. The boy was concentrating so hard that he didn't even notice Scorpius' presence until he sat down beside him.

"You study too hard," Scorpius said.

"And you eat too much chocolate," Albus said. "But you don't see me saying anything about it."

"I do not!" Scorpius said, affronted.

"Yes you do," Albus lied. "You'll get fat if you're not careful."

Scorpius looked down as though expected to see he'd grown a huge belly without having noticed before. "Yeah, well…," he said lamely, trying to think of a retort. "You don't have a girlfriend."

"Neither do you," Albus pointed out.

"Good point." There was silence for a few moments, only broken by the scratching of quill on paper as Albus noted down a couple of key points from the book he was reading. Then Scorpius said, "Do you like me?"

"Of course I do," Albus answered instantly. "You're my best friend. It would be pretty stupid if I didn't like you."

"No," Scorpius said. "Do you like me? Only, Lily said…"

"What would Lily know?" Albus interrupted, a little more coldly than he intended. He didn't mean to offend Scorpius; the ice in his tone was meant for his stupid traitor of a sister.

"So you don't….?" Scorpius asked.

Albus considered lying. It would be so easy to say no, he thought. Just one word and the conversation was over. He could keep his secret (although it appeared he'd have to be less obvious about it).

But a part of him really wanted to say yes. He hated lying to Scorpius and he did wonder if Scorpius felt the same way. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? It's not like Scorpius would refuse to continue being his friend.

…Right?

Suddenly, Albus realised he'd stayed silent too long. If he didn't like Scorpius, then he should have said so immediately. More than five seconds had passed; even if he said no, it wouldn't really be believable. He had to tell the truth.

"I do," Albus said lightly, as though it was no big deal. He found he couldn't look at Scorpius. Instead, he turned his head to the side and pretended to read.

"You do?"

"I do."

"Oh." There was silence for a moment, and Albus was beginning to wonder whether he had made a mistake in telling Scorpius when the blond boy said in a small voice, "I do too." Which didn't strictly make sense, but Albus understood his meaning regardless.

He looked up, and Scorpius offered him a nervous smile. Then Scorpius was leaning closer and closer and closer, and Albus was moving forward to without even realising it. Scorpius' lips were only inches away now….

"Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy, the library is closing now. If you could kindly return any books you don't wish to check out before leaving, that would be appreciated." The stern voice of Madam Pince caused both boys to jump away from each other, and Scorpius narrowly avoided falling off his chair. Albus looked down and coughed, his face beet-red.

"Of course," Scorpius said, grabbing an armful of books. "We'll be right out."

Albus, feeling slightly disappointed, swept up the rest of the books and took them up to the desk to be checked out. As Madam Pince's quill scribbled their names furiously on her list, he risked a glance at Scorpius. One look at his friend's mischievous grin and he had to look away, unsure whether he wanted to kiss him or burst out laughing.

Then he followed Scorpius out of the library, ducking his head and clutching his books tightly to his chest. His hunched position hid the broad smile he couldn't seem to wipe off his face.