Title: Normal Is Overrated
Author: TripOverFlatSurfaces
Rating: T
Summary: Good, normal days never meant well. Ever. That was basically the logic by which his everyday life functioned.
Warnings: Language. No major spoilers.
Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! as it is the property of Akira Amano.

A/N: This just sort of hit me one day. Ah, the wonders of daydreaming…

"Tsu-kun! Breakfast is ready!"

A yawning mass of spiky brown hair emerged from the beneath the tangled bed sheets, smacking his lips blearily. "Coming Mama!" he yelled back, grimacing at the taste of his breath. After stretching luxuriously and feeling that he had definitely forgotten something, Tsuna checked his clock, still half-asleep. 7:00 A.M. Oh, well that was ni—

"EHHHH?" THUD. In his haste to grab the alarm clock, Tsuna had fallen out of the bed face-first into the floor. "Owowowow…" Scrambling back to his feet, he checked the clock again. And again. And again. And one more time just to make sure. Tsuna pinched himself. Was he dreaming? Yet time stayed where it was. 7:00 A.M. He pinched himself harder, until tears leaked out from the pain. Nope, he felt that.

"I-I'm early. N-No way…"

"Tsu-kun! Hurry, your food will get cold!"

"J-Just one second!"

Today was a good day.

So good, in fact, that it was downright suspicious. Reborn hadn't woken him up 'Vongola-style', nobody stole his food at breakfast, and he had gotten to school on time. Had the aliens abducted him overnight? It was rare—no, impossible—for the one and only dame-Tsuna to be able to do that. And any remaining sliver of a chance he had left disappeared with Reborn's arrival. The teachers practically gave themselves heart attacks when he made a fifty on the quiz they had the day before. Gym wasn't the pit of hell it usually was either. Tsuna had only tripped over a rock this time instead of air.

So, all in all, a good day. Right. Since when did Sawada Tsunayoshi have good days? A normal life for him probably bored whatever gods up there into inexistence.

That was probably why, the minute Tsuna got home, Lambo came running down the hall. "BAKA-TSUNA! COME PLAY WITH THE GREAT LAMBO-SAMA!"

A kid so energetic wasn't good for anyone's health. "Lambo! Don't run in the house, you'll tr—"

Lambo's foot slipped on a conveniently placed banana peel—"HOW DID THAT GET THERE?"—and smacked onto the floor with a thud. Of course, ending the entire fiasco right there wasn't an option apparently. The fall knocked loose the Ten-Year Bazooka, and the last thing Tsuna saw was purple.

~o~o~o~o~o~

"—ay? Kid! Come on, are you alive or not?"

Someone was shaking him roughly by the shoulder. Couldn't they tell he wanted to sleep? Reborn was one thing, but having another person be so inconsiderate was too much. It was such a nice dream, and oh! There goes a flying sausage! Come to think of it, he was rather hungry. Mm, maybe he should ask Mama to make steak some time? It was really hard to get a decent meal these days… What would steak look like with wings anyway? Maybe like a bird, but Hibari's bird was a yellow puffball so they didn't compare that well. Ah, a cow then…?

"Oi! You— WAKE UP ALREADY!"

Grumbling mentally to himself, Tsuna groggily peeled his eyes open, looking straight into the face of a policeman.

"HIIEEEE!" He scrambled backwards, right into a signpost. 'Ah, that hurt…'

"Hey, calm down. Are you alright?" The police officer was middle-aged with a few wrinkles lining his forehead and creasing around his mouth. He looked faintly irritated. Tsuna gulped.

"Yes?" he squeaked out. The man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Alright, look. I'll get straight to the point. What in the world are you doing, lying out sleeping in the streets? You're a, what, elementary school student? So—"

Tsuna interrupted, feeling like he'd made the wrong choice the minute he opened his mouth as the policeman glowered. "U-Um, I'm in m-middle sc-school …" He stared in morbid fascination as the man developed a twitch. Tsuna felt like crying.

"Middle school, elementary school, I really don't care. Now, why aren't you in school?"

'Shit,' Tsuna started to sweat. "Um, I, well, um…." Tsuna's eyes darted about frantically, desperately trying to find an escape. "I-I…" There was a break in the continuity of buildings, one that stared out at him from behind the officer's shoulder.

"Yes, young man? I'm listening."

"Um, I…" He discreetly shifted to a better position and tensed his muscles in preparation.

"Yes?"

"I…" The policeman leaned forward in expectation.

"IGOTTAGOBYE!" He dashed past the man and dove into the alleyway, unmindful of the trash that littered the ground. Oh god, something just squished— Crap, it was a dead end. The shrill police whistle sounded. Chancing to look back, he nearly shrieked in terror as he saw the police officer gain on him. Quickly turning to face the front again, he spotted a couple of trash bins near the brick wall at the end of the alley. Scrambling up on one, he did an awe-inspiring rendition of a flopping fish as he struggled to climb over the wall. Yet somehow, it was accomplished and a dull thump signaled his landing; to think that, a few years ago, any attempts would have ended with the trash bin. It was times like these that Tsuna felt he could kiss the ground that sadistic baby walked on.

"WAIT! COME BACK HERE!" Wheezing, the officer stopped and glared at the wall as if he could see the person on the other side. The glare melted away as his shoulders slumped down tiredly. Retirement was feeling farther and farther away every day. "Kids these days…"

Aforementioned 'kid', on the other hand, kept running until he reached a crowded shopping area before collapsing down on a bench, gasping for breath. He checked about discreetly to see if anyone had noticed his magnificent escape out into the street. Everybody was too busy being concerned about their own lives. A great whoosh of breath issued forth. Never again, he vowed, never again. Staring out into space, Tsuna groaned and dropped his head into his hands. He could just imagine what Reborn would say about this. He'd probably turn it into a life lesson or something mafia-related.

'Dame-Tsuna, this is good practice. All mafia bosses have run-ins with the police at some point in their lives. If they don't, they're either pathetic or dead. You wouldn't want to be like that, would you? Dame-Tsuna.' Cue smirk and more training.

"Stupid Reborn…" He sighed again. Why did life see fit to torture him so? It was weird that he was sleeping on the street, and then the incident with the policeman... He was dreaming about Mama's steak before that guy woke him up, wasn't he? Speaking of which, he'd better go home soon, before They ate all of his dinner. Seriously, those two just couldn't control themselves, that Reborn and Lam— Wait a minute. Lambo! And the bazooka, he tripped, the banana peel…

Tsuna-goo dripped off the bench onto the ground in depression. Of course, the Ten-Year Bazooka! How could he have not remembered the purple doom that flew through the air towards him? 'Argh, I feel like such an idiot!' Wonderful, so he was now ten-years in the future and more than five minutes had surely passed. Again. Wasn't once enough? …He knew this day was too good to be true. As if life hadn't thrown enough problems at him already, his stomach took the chance to loudly announce to everybody that it was empty.

"Kaa-chan, does he have a monster in his tummy?" Nope, just very hungry.

"Now, now, darling. Don't stare at the strange boy." He thought he was pretty normal-looking actually…

"Haha, such a pathetic looking kid. He's probably skipping school." Stab.

"Ya think he's homeless, Itsuki? Lookin' pretty shabby there." Stab.

"Mi-na-mi! Don't get so close to him! You don't have time to take pity on the poor. Geez, go to a charity later if you're that concerned." Stab.

All the comments were like sharp knives to his already tiny pride. 'H-How cruel…' His stomach growled again, and with the newfound hunger pangs gnawed relentlessly.

"Nngh, it hurts...Ah, so huuuungrrrrry…" Where the heck was he going to get food anyway? It wasn't like he had any money. Curling up in a corner and giving up was looking more and more appealing. Why couldn't the bazooka have hit him after dinner? Steak, he wanted steak…

"I guess I'd better check things out," he mumbled to himself in an attempt to take his mind off of food. "What would Gokudera-kun do…?" What would he do? Probably scope out the area and get more information. Sometimes, Tsuna vaguely, kind-of-sort-of wished that Gokudera was the boss; he was certainly more suited to the mafia as it was. But then the world would be overrun by UMAs and it would probably explode from excess amounts of dynamite…

…Disturbing thoughts aside, newspapers seemed like a likely choice. Very…logical. Something Gokudera would suggest, right? Right? Tsuna sighed. He wondered if he'd ever see Gokudera again. If he was really stuck here, then he would never hear Gokudera's enthusiastic greetings again, or see Yamamoto's bright smile and eat his delicious sushi, or talk to Kyoko, or even laugh with everybody again. Even Reborn…

'No! Stop thinking like that!' he scolded himself, smacking his cheeks for good measure and startling the passersby in his near vicinity. 'Getting depressed is the last thing you need!' So cheeks smarting, Tsuna stood up and made his way out into the crowd.

A/N: …Well then. Four pages? That's a new record! Ah, so happy~ I certainly hope that at least somebody enjoyed this. The plot will probably make more sense in the next chapter. Ahaha, though that might be a little long in coming… ^^; Please review!