The other day me and my friend thought about how a thanksgiving in Las Noches would go and we came up with this I hope you like it cuz we found it funny.
Espada Thanksgiving
"Why the fuck do you get to cut the turkey" Grimmjow yelled
"Cuz I'm the fuckin' boss, when you become the shit you can cut your own turkey, but since you ain't the shit you can't cut the turkey" Aizen responded "and plus when I go Starrk will be the one to cut the turkey"
"Whoa, wait a god damn..." Kaname started before Aizen interrupted him by clearing his throat "Sorry, Aizen damn minute" he corrected himself, still not understanding why Aizen thinks he deserves to be a god or whatever he wants to be "Why does Starrk get to cut the turkey, if I ain't mistakin' I was the one who was wit you through all this traitor shit. Out of all the people at this table I should be next in line to cut this damn turkey"
"What about me" Gin said
Kaname looked at Gin as if he just hit him in the face "What about you, he fucks you. You sleep in his bed and when you ain't sleeping in his bed you sleep in the room next to his and you still leave that room in the middle of the night to fuck him. Yall nasty too cuz yall been fucking since you was like twelve, and that shows that Aizen ain't got no boundaries whatsoever"
"Kaname what is wrong with you" Aizen asked not the least bit phased by what Kaname just said about him
"I found Grimm's vodka stash and drank it" Grimmjow stood up like he was about to fight "sit the fuck down, don't nobody give a damn about yo vodka stash or the fact you fuckin' that strawberry. Yea I know. Since I'm blind my hearing is better than the average person and I can hear every scream that goes on in this house" Every one stopped moving and starred at him "Yes, every scream"
"So you heard..." Starrk started
"Oh yea, and you nasty"
"And you know about..." Ulquiorra's facial expression changed to a rather surprised one
"Oh yea, every time he walks in the temperature drops"
"Let's talk about it" Aizen said
"What. No" everyone said in unison
"Yes, I wanna know what really goes on in this house. Go ahead Tousen tell us"
"Ok, I'll start at one. So Starrk of all people to have sex with you pick Shuhei, my former lieutenant, asshole. Not only are you fucking Shuhei but you fuckin' that blonde, what's his name oh yea Shinji the same blonde Nnoitra is fuckin'"
"So, whats your point" Starrk replied lazily
"You nasty, that's my point. Number two I know for a fact you had sex with your subordinate, you know, the younger one. You should really be ashamed of yourself he is like fifteen. Number three, Hal, ima leave you alone cuz you kinda scary. Number four, did you think no one would know you bring the ice prince in every Thursday? I can hear everything that goes on in that room. In a screamin' match you beat Starrk, Grimm, and Nnoi, they all tied up for third, but you is a close second cuz Aizen be makin' Gin scream like he bout to die, some times I think he be tryin' to, but Ulquiorra it sound like yall don't never stop fucking all I hear is moan grunt grunt moan and then I hear a scream and that's just foreplay. Then when yall start fuckin' shit get real, cuz the headboard hits the wall and the bed squeaks, and its a lot of screaming in there, I thought you were killing him. Good job, that's how players do it"
"Ulquiorra" Aizen started "I had no idea. At least I know how those dents got in my wall"
"I'm sorry, lord Aizen" Ulquiorra apologized
"There's no need to be sorry. You got some ass I'm happy for you"
"Thank you?"
"Alright, Nnoi your next. so how do feel about having sex with the same blond Starrk here is fucking and I know yall had a three-sum, yall nasty. Why do you treat that boy like that?" Kaname said
"What boy? Nnoitra asked
"Tesla, that's his name. Why do you treat him like shit you know he loves you. Always slappin' him around, I swear if catch you slap him one more time ima beat yo ass"
"Why?"
"Cuz that boy is too nice for you to be treating him like that. On other business, Grimm, that lil strawberry you like to fuck so much, he's nice, I like him, keep him around. If you mistreat him ima kill you, understand"
"Yea, yea, yea whatever" Grimmjow replied
"Zommari, what up dogg, I gotta talk you later. Szayel, Szayel, Szayel, so I guess you thought no one would find out that on Friday and Saturday nights you go to the world of the living and prostitute yourself. Don't act surprised. I guess you thought that is Grimm wasn't fucking you no more and Nnoi wasn't fucking you no more and Aizen never wanted anything to do with you, you was just gone get dick from the world of the living and get money for it. Good thinking, I'm proud of you, I ain't think you had it in you"
"Aaroniero you creep me the fuck out. You look like to eight balls that got hit by a car. Yall should just look like Kaien Shiba he was a handsome young man and till this day I still don't understand why he had to die"
"Its not for you to understand, Kaname" Aizen said
"I got something for you in a minute, let me finish what I'm doin. Yammy you to damn big to be runnin around this house like you ain't got no sense. For one no one wants you because your too damn big and two your too damn dumb to realize that nobody wants you cuz you too damn big and that's all I got to say about it" Kaname turned to Aizen "I wasn't finished with you. Hey Gin remember that big fight Renji and Byakuya had when Rukia was captured"
"Yea" Gin replied
"They weren't fightin' over Rukia"
"Really"
"Nope not at all, they were fightin' because Aizen tried to have sex with Byakuya, before he 'killed himself' or whatever, but Renji caught them kissing and ruined the whole plan"
"What the fuck did you say that for" Aizen yelled
"That was for making me betray people and leave my best friend, ass. Well I'm Kaname and I'm out, good night everybody"
Lol I hope you like this cuz I sure had fun writing it.
Two things:
If i write a bleach Bloopers, would yall watch it?
And, If I write a Bleach Awards show, would yall participate?
Please Review thanx for reading