Well, here's my new story. I was so disappointed by the lack of Hotch/Rossi scene after the Dave/Carolyn arc that I had to write this. It seems so unreal that given their close friendship we haven't had a single scene between them, at least of Hotch asking Dave if he's okay (other than the one were Dave return to work after Carolyn's death), though I must admit, that gives me more freedom to write this story. As stated in the summary this is a two, maybe three shot, so enjoy it and remember, any comment or criticism will be appreciated.
Also I owe a huge thanks, to Nebula2 for the beta.
I don't owe Criminal Minds or any of his characters.
OoOoO
Chapter I: I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing.
"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Dave was still seated on the couch. The same one where Carolyn had been sitting. He was in the middle of the dark room, the only light coming from the lamp on the little table to his left.
He didn't know and didn't care, how long he had been there, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands together, holding a glass of wine before him.
After Carolyn told him about her illness and what she wanted him to do, she had started crying, breaking down before him. And that was what had thrown Dave for a loop. In all the years he had known her, even before they married, he never had seen her cry. Never. She had always been a strong woman, and that was one of the many reasons Dave had fallen in love with her. He guessed bitterly, that knowing she had only a few months of life it didn't matter if she was strong or not anymore.
Dave had to force himself to move, going next to Carolyn and taking her in his arms. He didn't say anything, didn't know what to say. Nothing was or would be fine, and he couldn't even tell her he would help her, that he would do what she wanted, because even now, he wasn't sure if he could do it. Wasn't sure if he could keep his promise.
After what felt like hours, she had calmed down, and had begun to apologize non-stop. Dave had brushed away her apologies immediately and when she had said she was leaving, Dave had told her she could stay but in the end, she hadn't accepted, saying he needed time to think and she wanted to be alone for a while.
Dave abruptly got to his feet, leaving his empty glass on the coffee table. Suddenly, he didn't want to be here, alone, feeling sorry for himself. He had to get out of here.
Without thinking, he walked toward the kitchen area and grabbed the phone, dialing the first number that came into his mind and waited. He was about to hang up when the phone was answered, and the familiar voice came over the line.
"Hello?"
Dave blinked. God, had he really called to...?
He had to clear his throat before speaking.
"Hey,"
"Dave?" Hotch's voice called over the phone.
"Yeah, It's me. What are you guys doing ?" As soon as the words left his mouth, Dave rolled his eyes. God, that sounded even more pathetic out aloud.
"Uh... We're going to see a movie. I promised Jack we'd see a movie when I came back if he had all of his homework finished," He could hear the smile on Hotch's voice as he spoke. "He'll probably fall asleep before it ends, but as he told me; a promise is a promise, I guess I should be more specific next time." Hotch paused, turning serious. "Is everything okay?"
How was he supposed to answer to that? No, nothing is okay, everything is a mess. Was he supposed to ruin the little time the younger man had with his son, telling him what was wrong, eventhough he knew Hotch couldn't really help him solve anything?
Yeah, it seemed he had his answer.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just..." He left off, not wanting to lie to his friend, besides, Hotch knew him better than anyone, and would know immediately that Dave was lying.
Then, through the line he heard little Jack's voice, calling his father.
"Dave? Can you wait a moment?"
"Of course." Dave answered, more than happy for the little distraction that will let him stay out of Hotch's scrutiny, even over the phone.
There was a moment of silence, in which he guessed Hotch put the phone away and then, he heard the muffled sound of his voice.
'What do you need buddy?'
'Are you talking to uncle Dave, Daddy?'
'Yes, I am'
'Can I speak to him?'
'Sorry buddy, but Dad and Uncle Dave are talking right now.' *pause* 'I'll tell you what, when Daddy finishes talking with uncle Dave I'll ask him if he's not busy and if he isn't then you can talk to him, okay?'
'Okay Daddy.'
Dave couldn't stop the smile that formed on his lips when he hear that. After he had agreed to help Hotch coach Jack's team, he had become really close to the little boy and to his surprise, he had become the favorite 'uncle' among the team members.
"Dave?" Hotch called. The worried tone in his voice told Dave it was not the first time he tried to get his attention.
"Sorry, just thinking."
"Dave... Are you sure everything is okay?" Hotch asked, his voice full of consternation.
"Yeah, yeah I just... do you mind if I come over?" Dave asked quietly.
There was silence on the other line and Dave almost slapped a hand over his face. What happened to not wanting to disturb Hotch time with his son?
He was about to take back what he said, saying he was just joking, or hell, anything else when Hotch replied.
"Of course, you know you can come over whenever you want. I'm sure Jack would be glad to see you." Hotch said, trying to keep the surprise and worry out of his tone.
He didn't succeed but Dave was more than happy to let it slide.
"Thanks, I'll be there in thirty."
After hanging up, Dave stayed there, without moving for a while, just staring at the wall in front of him, thinking of nothing, feeling a pain, deep in his chest and a lump in his throat.
He licked his dry lips and frowned, shaking his head, trying to clear his mind.
It didn't work.
He rubbed a hand over his tired face, before heading toward the door, taking his keys and phone.
OoOoO
I know, I know, this is very short, but I promise the next chapter will be longer. I'm already working on it and I'll post it as soon as I can :)
A/N: Thanks to everyone who read it. I hope you all have enjoyed, and as always feedback is appreciated. Thank you.