RangeMan Insecurity

Epilogue

I couldn't put it off any longer. Adriano was past due to make his appearance, and I had to think about what I'd been avoiding for the entire pregnancy. Labor pains. I had performance anxiety. Having this baby, even with the epidural I'd planned for, was going to be one big pain in the ass. The thought of what was going to happen to me gave me a monumental eye twitch, and the heck of it was there was nothing I could do about it. I was afraid of making a fool of myself in front of Ranger. What if I lost my mind and started shouting obscenities at him. When we'd gone on the hospital tour the labor and delivery nurse told me it could happen.

I'd looked up at Ranger with a horror-stricken expression on my face. He'd leaned down and whispered, "Babe." I didn't know if that meant he'd understand if I called him a horrible name, or if it was a threat not to.

Today had been my last regularly scheduled appointment with the obstetrician and I'd had to go alone. Ranger was once again tied up with the O'Malley account. Adriano was a week overdue. I'd been assured everything was fine and I wouldn't have to wait longer than one more week. If I didn't go into labor on my own, I'd be induced. I was ready, because I was miserable. I wasn't comfortable standing, sitting, or even lying down. I felt like a big swollen blob. My walking was limited to short distances, because Adriano was pressing against a nerve and I had to drag one leg behind me. The hormone induced tear production that had been so prevalent during my pregnancy had gotten worse.

I drove the SUV back to RangeMan and parked in the space closest to the elevator. Everyone left it open for me. After the minivan fiasco, I adopted a fleet SUV. It wasn't exactly a secret sex trick, but I'd become adept at one of those 'I'll promise you anything, Babe' moves, so I knew I'd be getting a sports car for my own personal use after the baby was born. The infant seat, which had weathered the explosion, was currently strapped into the Cayenne.

It was mid-afternoon, and Ranger was still at the O'Malley site. Brian O'Malley was in charge of the Trenton operation, and he and Ranger were tweaking the manpower requirements to adequately provide security for the expanding construction business.

Lester had done a good job, along with Tank and Lula, and the truth of JP's actions had never come out. O'Malley and Sons had remained the flagship account of the Boston office and the Trenton account was proving to be lucrative as well. Ranger and Lester had represented RangeMan at the funeral, so I'd never had to come face-to-face with Mr. O'Malley.

I shuddered, thinking of that night. The horror of JP's death lingered with me, and while I felt relief at no longer having a stalker, I felt sadness at the waste of her life. But there was good that came out of that night. Ranger and I were closer than ever. He had quit telling me what I could and couldn't do, and when he asked me to do something he always explained the reason behind his request.

In turn I began to think before I acted, and we shared everything. Our conversations had become an important part of our relationship, and that was good because I was learning all sides of the business and all sides of my husband.

My phone rang as I was exiting the elevator. It was Ranger.

"Hi," I said. "I'm still pregnant, but the doctor did say it could be anytime. If I don't go into labor on my own, they'll induce me next week. I don't know if I can make it another week."

"You'll make it," he said. "I just wanted to let you know I'll be home for dinner. We can call for Chinese because Ella's unavailable this afternoon."

"I could make peanut butter and olive sandwiches," I said.

"We'll call for Chinese," he said, and he disconnected.

I dropped my keys on the silver tray on the credenza and kicked off my shoes. I made my way into the bedroom and laid down in my thinking position. I couldn't breathe. I got up and walked back to the living room and flopped down in the leather armchair. There was a half-worked crossword puzzle on the coffee table. I picked it up and looked for a pencil. I wasn't up to ink mode yet. My phone rang and I saw by the caller ID it was Lula. She was running the store alone for the afternoon, as I hadn't planned on going back after my doctor's appointment.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Stephanie you gotta come down here right away. There's trouble." She sounded agitated.

"What kind of trouble?" I asked.

"Roger, the UPS man, just delivered the shipment from Baldicott and it's all white cotton, old woman panties and bras…like your granny would wear."

"My grandma wears thongs and miracle bras," I said.

"This is a serious situation here," Lula said. "Don't be making no jokes about your Granny. You got to get down here." I wasn't joking about my Grandma.

"Alright," I said. "I'll be right there." I sighed as I walked to the hall and shoved my swollen feet back into my shoes. I took the elevator to the parking garage where Howdy was getting out of an SUV.

"Hey Steph," he said. "Whatcha doing?"

"I'm on my way to the shop." I told him. "Lula is having an underwear emergency." His eyebrows raised and disappeared behind his fringe of red-orange curls. "An erroneous order," I told him. "Not her personal underwear." He seemed relieved.

"I'm not doing anything," he said. "Want me to drive you?"

"Sure," I said, glad of the company. We made the trip discussing the difficulty of last Sunday's crossword puzzle and before I knew it we were parked down the block from the store. Howdy came around the SUV and opened the door for me. I took his hand and slid to the ground, my movements clumsy and slow.

The sign in the window of the shop said 'closed'. What was going on? I pushed the door open and went in to see what kind of lingerie emergency could justify closing the store. As the door swung inward and the little bells jingled I heard a loud chorus of "Surprise!"

My eyes widened as I saw the shop had been decorated with blue balloons and crepe paper streamers. In the middle of the store stood Lula, Connie, my mother, my grandmother, Ella, Mary Lou, my sister Valerie and Mary Maggie Mason.

"We're giving you a shower," Lula said. "We was gonna wait until after the baby was born, but he's overdue and you're kinda grouchy and we thought this would cheer you up." I turned to look at Howdy who was backing out of the store. He gave me a little finger-wave and I realized he was in on the surprise.

"I don't know what to say," I stammered.

"You don't have to say nothin'," Lula said. "We got baby-shower cake, and punch, and all you have to do is open gifts. An' you can sit in my gift." She stepped aside so I could see a white rocking chair with a soft blue pad on the seat. There was a large red bow on the back of the rocker. "I got you this here rocking chair, so as you could sit and hold the baby between customers. We can put it in your office."

"This is wonderful," I said as Lula grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the chair. The next hour passed quickly as I opened gifts and ate cake. When I opened Ella's gift I was moved to tears. It was a basket filled with little black baby t-shirts, each one embroidered with the RangeMan logo.

After the gifts were opened and the second pieces of cake were gone, it began. Everyone in the room had a story, either their own or the story of a close friend who had experienced the worst labor ever known to woman.

"Are they going to induce you if you don't go into labor soon?" Val asked.

"Yes, but not until next week," I told her. "I'm miserable. I can't breathe and I can't sleep."

"You need to walk every day," my mother said. "Taking a long walk will make you have contractions and start your labor."

"Walking is okay," Mary Lou said, "but if you really want to have the baby, eat pineapple. It worked every time for me." Pineapple sounded better than walking to me; especially if it was my mother's pineapple upside down cake. I looked over at her.

"I'll bake it in the morning," she said, proving her mom ESP. "Your father can drop it off."

"If you really want to have the baby," Grandma Mazur said, "forget about all that stuff. What you need is an orgasm. You and Ranger need to have sex and you need to have a big orgasm. That will start contractions. I know because it worked for me." My mother looked frantically around, but the only drink in the store was punch and it wasn't spiked.

"Mother, must you always turn the conversation to sex?" she asked.

"I'm telling you it works," Grandma insisted.

"I heard it works too," Lula said. "An' if it don't you still got the orgasm to make you feel better." The bells jingled and we all looked to see Ranger walk into the shop, followed closely by Howdy.

There was a moment's silence as everyone stared at Ranger and then began talking all at once. Ranger raised an eyebrow and looked at me. He knew he'd been the subject of the conversation, but it wasn't my fault.

"Howdy and I are here to pack up the baby gifts and take them back to Haywood," he told me.

"You knew?" I asked.

"He knew," Lula said. "And Howdy knew, too. He helped me hang the streamers and blow up the balloons." Howdy and Ranger loaded the gifts into the RangeMan SUV double-parked in front of the store. Howdy decided to stay and help Lula un-decorate the shop. I thanked everyone for the surprise, and was not surprised at all to find tears rolling down my cheeks.

As we pulled away from the shop I turned to Ranger. "Let's not have Chinese tonight," I said. "Let's go to Shorty's."

"Feeling like pizza?" Ranger questioned. "Do you think pizza might be too spicy for you?"

"No," I said. "I'm not going to take a walk, so I need Shorty's Hawaiian pizza…for the pineapple." Ranger looked at me questioningly. "I'll explain it all later."

When we entered the apartment later in the evening, I went straight to the kitchen to put the left over box of pizza in the fridge. I'd only been able to eat one piece, but I didn't want to waste the pineapple. It was going to be a dietary staple until I went into labor. I wasn't taking any long walks. As for the other suggestion…I turned from the refrigerator and walked back into the living room where Ranger was looking at the day's mail.

"I have something to ask you," I said. I could feel my cheeks blushing, but darn it, I wasn't used to asking for sex. Mainly we just had it, but lately the frequency of our lovemaking had lessened. Ranger was sensitive to my moods, and I hadn't been in that particular mood very often in the last couple of weeks.

"I was wondering," I said. "If we could, well, what I mean is…at the shower they told me if I had an orgasm it would make me have a uterus contraction and it might start labor. So I was wondering if I could, if we could…"

"Babe." Ranger walked over to me and leaned down to kiss me. "If an orgasm will make you have a contraction, then would multiple orgasms make you have multiple contractions?" he asked.

"I, uh, I guess so," I said.

He started walking toward the bedroom pulling me with him. "Did I ever tell you about the time I spent in Romania?" he asked.

My eyes widened. The Romanian Rapture. "No," I said. "You didn't."

"We need to talk then," he said, as we walked arm-in-arm into the darkened bedroom.

Eleven hours and twenty-four minutes later, Adriano Ricardo Manoso was welcomed into our lives. I had an epidural, and I didn't shout obscenities at Ranger. Our son was healthy and beautiful. Ranger's eyes met mine shortly after the birth of Adriano and we shared a moment of sadness remembering the outcome of my first pregnancy. Then Adriano's lusty cry captured our attention and we were filled with joy… and we lived happily ever after. Mostly.

The End

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. Thanks to Latetolove and Jago-ji for all the editing help. They give of their time and talent, and I can guarantee any mistakes you find are mine, made after their edits!