A/N: O my grilled cheezus! All you wonderful people who have alerted/favorite/reviewed make me so happy! Unfortunately this is the last chapter (I'm not good with long stories) but you all have definitely inspired me to post other stories. I love you all, enjoy 3
Disclaimer: Glee=not mine. I also don't own Avenue Q or anything related or affiliated with it.
A/N (again) : Italic is Rachel singing
Bold Italics is Puck singing
Bold underlined italics is everyone
Rachel brushed down her pleated purple skirt carefully as she made her way to the front of the choir room. The prior performances were…acceptable, Kurt and Quinn had put together a nice rendition of Videophone by Beyoncé; and Artie and Mike did very well with Mr. Roboto by Styx, among others. But despite Noah's delusional plans to ruin her *ahem* their performance, he was nowhere in sight. No matter of course, she's Rachel Berry; her talents are much better featured solo. She was sure to be wonderful.
"Fellow Glee clubbers," she began her opening "despite my original feelings towards this assignment, I am a strong believer in always giving every performances 120% so-"
"I'm sorry Rachel," Mr. Schuester interrupted, "but where is Puck?"
"He's MIA at the moment Mr. Schuester but as they say the show must go on. I am perfectly capable of doing the song alone. Anyways as I was saying, I decided to just jump straight into this and show you all that I am not as objected to new experiences as you may believe. So I decided to do this project on something modern, something relevant, The Internet." The piano began behind her and she sang,
The Internet is really really great
Suddenly and electric guitar screamed behind her and Puck's husky voice sang from the doorway
FOR PORN
"Damn it, what is he doing." Rachel thought to herself. The piano began again and she continued
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait
FOR PORN
Now she was annoyed, she sang louder
There's always some new site
FOR PORN
I browse all day and night
FOR PORN
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light
FOOOR PORN!
Puck wandered into the room, sporting his black electric guitar, no shirt, and his signature smirk as he sang
The internet is for porn
"Noah" Rachel screeched
The internet is for porn
What are you doing?
Why do you think the net was born
Porn porn porn.
"Noah!"
"Oh" he smiled and waved innocently, "hi Rachel"
She put her hands on her hips and stated, "You are ruining the song"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too" Puck said pouting his lips
"Well would you mind, please, sticking to the script?"
"Ok"
"Good," Rachel beamed at her audience and sang out
I'm glad we have this new technology
For porn, oops
Which gives us untold opportunity
For porn, sorry
Right from your own desktop
For p-
You can research browse and shop
Fo-
Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop
FOOOR POOOORN!
NOAH!
The internet is for porn
Noooo!
The internet is for porn
PUCKERMAN!
Me up all night honking my horn to porn porn porn!
"That's gross" Rachel said, the song forgotten as the rest of the club watched intently, "You're a pervert"
"sticks and stones Rachel"
"No really, you're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home watching porn on the internet."
"Ooooh?" Puck mocked, "Yo, 'normal people'" he said to the glee club "show of hands, who here has never ever watched internet porn?"
No one moved. No one raised a hand. Even Mr. Schue blushed sheepishly.
"Wait," Brittney said, "Porn is like that movie we made last week, right Sanny?"
"See?" Puck said to Rachel. Then he turned back to the club and strummed his guitar, "Lemme hear it guys!"
The whole club (besides Rachel and Schue) sang along
The Internet is for porn
The internet is for porn
All these guys unzip their flies for porn porn porn
Rachel looked thoroughly disgusted and shouted, "The internet is not for porn!"
Porn porn
"Ewwwww!"
The internet is for porn
"Gross"
The internet is for porn
"I hate porn"
Grab your **** and double click for
PORN PORN PORN
"I'm leaving"
Pooorn, poorn
"I hate the internet"
The internet is for
Internet is for
Internet is for porn!
And for the first time ever, Rachel's exit earned her a standing ovation.
Later that night found Rachel huffily glaring at Puck over Skype.
"Do I have too" she whined
"Yes, that was the bet. You knew what you were getting into; time for Rachel berry to get down and dirty."
"Fine." Rachel frowned, closing the video call; she moved her mouse to the link Puck had sent her and double clicked.
A/N: The end =D for those of you who are confused about Rachel's reaction when puck walked in, she didn't know what he had planned. She thought they would just be harmonizing about the internet. In my mind Rachel is too innocent to have seen Avenue Q. Anyways, hope you liked it and don't think I'm creepy for writing this. Reviews are love 3