Summary: Welcome to... ASK THE GODS! As previewed on percyjackson . co . Uk. Ask the gods questions in the reviews, and they will answer them! Maybe if the Titans are in a good mood they'll answer your questions too...

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson... or this first chapter as this is used from Rick Riordan's site as a start to the story – but I've slightly editted some of them.

Note: Bold is either a comment from me or a letter.

Dear Posiedon,

I read in my History book that you are very self-centered. Is that true?

Historyrulz =)

Dear Anonymous,

Who wrote that book? One of Zeus' lackeys, no doubt. That's a bunch of rubbish. Just because I am hugely powerful, incredibly good looking, devillishly intelligent and an AWESOME surfer does not mean I am self-centered. I hope I've set the record straight for you.

Posiedon,

How did you decide to invent horses?

Horseluvr

Dear Horseluvr,

Ah, well there was this beautiful girl I wanted to impress, you see. We were walking on the beach. I snapped my fingers, and the white foam on the waves turned into the manes of the first horses, which galloped onto the beach. Not bad, eh? Beats a boquet of roses every time.

Hey Posiedon, how did Sally and you meet?

PosiedonxSally4evz

Dear PosiedonxSally4evz (Don't let Amphtrite see that name!)

Ah, Sally. I was strolling down the beach on Montauk one evening when I saw this beautiful woman. She looked straight at me and said, "You're carrying a trident." I was disguised by the Mist as a regular surfer, but she saw right through that. We struck up a conversation. One thing led to another, and we fell in love. Aphrodite looked like she was going to cry with joy. Women.

Dear Lord Posiedon,

How do you control water?

waterizmylife

Dear waterizmylife,

Pretty much any way I want to! It's what I do, okay? It's like me asking you how you breathe. It just comes naturally.

Hey Poseidon

How do you feel about having a cyclops as a son?

One eyed,

Dear One eyed,

They're strong, they're loyal, they do what they're told and make great weapons. What's not to like?

Ares, will you marry me baby?

Aresequalshot

Take a number, babe.

Dear Ms. Athena , Mighty Goddess of Wisdom, what is your fatal flaw?

Curiousismymiddlename

My dear,

Heroes have mortal flaws. Gods do not. Fatal is something that gets you killed, after all, and we gods cannot die! True, I've been accused of being too proud, but that's ridiculous. Just because I turn my rivals into various forms of creepy crawly life forms - I'm doing what any god would do!

Dear Athena, You are so cool! I was wondering if there was anyway to become smarter than everyone else in 5th grade? Please help!

Needstobecomesmarter!

Dear Needstobecomesmarter,
Why, yes indeed. You must read a great deal. You must explore what you love to do. And you must never settle for the easy solution. That is a guaranteed way to become smarter than your peers, but it is not quick or magic, I'm afraid. You mortals have to do things the hard way.

Will the Wise Goddess Athena overthrow Zeus and become the ruler of Olympus?

AthenaforrulerofOlympus

Dear AthenaforrulerofOlympus,
What an interesting idea . . . No, just kidding, Dad. Put away the lightning bolt. My dears, Athena is much more subtle than that. Who says I'm not already controlling Mount Olympus from behind the throne, eh?

Hey Hermes,

How do I come up with good come-backs when someone insults me (for fun)?

comebackideas

I've got to go in like... 10 minutes, so I'll answer this one, as I have a reputation for being quick. What I like to do is think ahead and try to anticipate what insults people will use on me, then I can plan for the perfect comeback. If that doesn't work, I usually disintegrate them into a pile of ashes. Hope that helps! Ciao!

Dear Lord Hermes,

Are you embarrassed by the Fashion brand named after you?

anonymous
What can I tell you? People are so amazed by me, it was only a matter of time before they named a fashion brand after yours truly. Embarrassed? Nah, I think it's charming. You mortals are so cute.

Dear Mr D/ Dionysus,

How do you deal with a hangover? Help!

- Gonnabedrunk

I'll let you know when I get to have wine again in a HUNDRED BLASTED YEARS! Sorry, I'm a little touchy on that point, but my father Zeus has grounded me to Camp Half-Blood in his infinite wisdom. If I recall, a lot of water helps before and after partaking in wine. A cheeseburger is also a surefire way of avoiding unpleasant headaches the next morning.

Yo Hades, what's it like having zombie bodyguards? Betcha don't have much problems with door-to-door salesmen!

zombiesrock

Dear zombiesrock (and I can't agree with you more),

In fact, no. I have no problems at all. Unfortunately, my zombies also make it very hard to get the mail, as the postal carriers tend to run away. It could be Demeter that scares them too... mother-in-laws'

Dear Zeus,

Whydontlightningboltsappearstraight?
- zigzagzigzag

Well, my mortal friend, lightning is a very tricky source of energy. It zig-zags around quite a bit, which is why it takes a very smart powerful god like me to control it.

Zeus,

What type of migraine did you have to give birth to a goddess. I would like to know in case I have one and then I'll be aware that I'm pregnant.

Paranoidfreak

Dear Paranoidfreak,
Yes, that headache was a whopper. I mean, I even agreed to let Hephaestus get out his axe and split my noggin open. Can you imagine? For you mortals: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! If any of your relatives say, "Oh, headache, dear? Let me get the axe." I would run away very fast. Try Tylenol instead.

Zeus,

No offence or anything but since Athena came out of your head didn't she exhaust your supply of brains. If yes, where did you get more?

scaredofZeus

Dear scaredofZeus (and you should be)
The next sound you hear will be the lightning bolt blasting through your roof. Indeed, puny mortal! I have infinite brains. Athena was merely taking up room in there!

Dear Aphrodite...

Why do Ares and you go out if you're married to Hephaestus?

somethingsmellsfishy

Oh dear. Ask me this again when you're eighteen. It's quite complicated.

SO THAT WAS IT! =)

Now it's your turn to ask the Gods. Choose any God or Titan and put the question in the review. What do you want to know?

- Soulless Bloody Angel