Obsession
Summary: Izaya always knew that he had a slight obsession for messing with Shizuo. But he would have never considered that maybe the reason Shizuo felt so much hatred towards him was because the blonde had his own unhealthy obsession…
Rating: M for cursing, implications of rape, and twisted psychological themes
Pairings: Shizuo/Izaya
So because this just kept bouncing around in my head and I couldn't get it out, I decided to write it. This oneshot is inspired by G Dragon's song "Obsession" and partly by a strip comic I read on zerochan. I wanted to explore a little more into a "dark" Shizuo and perhaps the reasons why he hates Izaya as much as he does. So hopefully he doesn't seem too OOC and I hope you guys enjoy this oneshot!
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.
If only I could hold you once
I wish you were my lover for just a moment
Please, please, please I pray
Us, us, us, us together, together
Because I love her so much my greed keeps growing
I want you for myself. You by yourself.
It's my obsession, don't curse me
That's my obsession, don't look away
It's my obsession
Don't tell me please, Don't tell me, That's my obsession
That's my obsession
- G Dragon "Obsession" (translated)
Where am I?
Izaya groaned as his head throbbed. His mind felt clouded and his body sluggish as his muscles ached in protest at his movement. But a part of him was screaming at him to wake up and be more alert. That there was something really wrong with this situation. Finally, Izaya shook away the cobwebs from his mind though his body still felt weak. However, he was a bit more alert as he frowned and slowly scanned his surroundings with his crimson eyes.
He was in a bathroom, though whether he was in a bathroom in a house, apartment, or hotel room he couldn't tell. But the bathroom was relatively clean except for the slightly dried splatters of blood on the tile that lead up to the raven's feet. It was then Izaya noticed he had been patched up, a blood soaked cloth tied around his shoulder, and he figured that the blood loss must be why he felt so tired. There were shackles around his wrists and he was chained around a pipe that used to have plaster wall around it before someone broke apart the wall to reveal the rusted pipe. Izaya tugged on the shackles and realized that despite the rust the pipe was still pretty solid as were the steel links of the chain. Izaya then inspected the shackles and groaned when he realized at they were the old fashioned kind that needed a turn key. He could probably pick the lock but it would take him a while and he didn't have the proper tools on him or nearby right now.
How did I get here? Izaya wondered as he went back to studying his surroundings, seeing if there were any clues as to where exactly he was and just who had brought him here.
In the bathtub there was just a simple white bar of soap and bottles of strawberry shampoo and conditioner. There was a mirror medicine cabinet above the sink but it wasn't open and Izaya was too far to reach it. On the sink there was a small glass with a blue toothbrush in it. There was also a toilet that was just a foot away from him that had the seat cover down, and Izaya noticed there was a blood handprint near the top of the tank as well as a roll of gauze sitting on top of it. He inferred that whoever had patched him up probably sat there.
But just who did patch him up? And why was he here? What did this person want from him? How long had he been here?
The frown on Izaya's face deepened as he tried to remember what he had been doing before he awoke. It had been like every other day, him skipping to Ikebukuro with a wide, devious smile as he decided that today was a beautiful day to bug Shizu-chan. And then…
And then…
What had happened after that?
Izaya was scowling angrily now as he tried to push away the slight muddy feeling in his head. But the memories kept blurring around in his head, making a unclear picture of what had happened. He began to mutter stuff to himself, trying to go over the day slowly.
"I got up, got dressed, forced Namie to do more useless filing, spread some more rumors online, and then I got bored. So I went to Ikebukuro to play with Shizu-chan…and…"
Izaya's red eyes widened as bits and pieces started to come back to him…
Whistling a happy tune and skipping merrily, leering at those who stared at him strangely, Izaya searched around for his target. One would think he would be easy to spot with his tall stature and blonde hair. Finally, the tuft of blonde hair entered Izaya's line of sight and the raven brightened as he snickered to himself.
He walked fluidly and silently up behind Shizuo, intent on catching the ex bartender by surprise. But maybe he wasn't as quiet as he thought because before he could push the blonde into the path of traffic, the blonde turned around, staring straight at Izaya with steely, coffee colored eyes. Izaya wouldn't admit it aloud, but the look sent slight shivers down his spine.
However, he remained cool and calm as he smiled innocently, "Aww, you ruined the surprise, Shizu-chan."
He expected the blonde to get angry like he usually did and pick up the nearest object to throw at him, but Shizuo remained where he stood, his hands in his pockets and eerily serene expression on his face. Izaya didn't show his inward confusion. Shizuo surely was acting quite differently today. How unexpected…but then again, Shizuo always did the unexpected.
Thinking that maybe the blonde just needed some motivation, Izaya whipped out his flickblade and slashed Shizu-chan across the chest in one swift movement. The blonde's clothes ripped and a red line of blood appeared on his chest, but he seemed unfazed as he stumbled back slightly, gripping onto a sign for balance. Instead, he ended up tearing the sign out of the concrete.
"Izaya…" Shizuo muttered lowly, his grip on the sign tightening.
But the raven just laughed, "Catch me if you can, Shizu-chan!", and he dashed off, knowing this was the start of their usual game.
Only after Izaya had run down a few blocks and near a deserted alleyway did he notice that Shizuo did not give chase. He blinked in confusion, looking around and not seeing the blonde brute anyway. "How weird," he murmured to himself as his eyes narrowed suspiciously. He wondered if Shizuo was planning a surprise attack on him. Casually, he looked around his surroundings but again the blonde was nowhere in sight.
"Got you."
Izaya froze in shock as he suddenly found himself pushed to the ground, Shizuo pinning down his arms while knocking away Izaya's flickblade from the raven's hands and straddling Izaya's waist so that it was difficult for the raven to move his legs. When had Shizuo gotten there anyway? And why didn't Izaya hear him? But the raven kept his voice light and teasing to mask his surprise and slight fear, "Congratulations then, Shizu-chan. You finally got me."
He didn't want to say that the blonde could probably kill him right now. It was better to by time by distracting him with talking and taunts. But Shizuo was quiet for once, instead of yelling at and accusing Izaya of nasty doings. The blonde's coffee colored eyes again held a calm coldness that didn't suit the usual Shizuo. Izaya could hear warning alarms going off in his head that something was wrong. That despite being so unpredictable, Shizuo wasn't acting normal.
"Why?" Shizuo muttered so quietly that Izaya almost didn't catch it.
"Why what, Shizu-chan?" Izaya inquired, hoping that it would distract the blonde long enough for him to weaken his grip. However, he winced as Shizuo only held onto him tightly.
Shizuo's eyes tightened slightly with anger as he gritted his teeth, "Why you…?"
Izaya was confused, unsure of what he meant. He didn't where this was going as Shizuo suddenly shut his mouth and got a very serious and frightening expression on his face. Izaya couldn't hold back the involuntary shudder this time as Shizuo reached out and took the flickblade he had pushed away from Izaya into his hands. Izaya's crimson eyes widened slightly as Shizuo held the blade up, inspecting it. "Shizuo," Izaya said softly yet gravely, using his full name to show Shizuo that he was being serious. This freaked him out! "What are yo—!"
He didn't get to finish his sentence, his mouth opening to scream as Shizuo suddenly thrust the flickblade down and into Izaya's shoulder. His scream of pain could have probably awaken the dead had Shizuo not swallowed his scream by placing his mouth over Izaya's, kissing him roughly.
Confusion, anger, shock, pain, Izaya felt them all. He squinted his eyes, trying to force back the tears that threatened to spill from the pain. He could feel his muscles tense and the blood ooze around his wound. He screamed again as Shizuo dug the knife further, but again Shizuo silenced him with a kiss.
Izaya didn't understand any of this as the blonde tangled their tongues together and held Izaya's arms down with the free hand that wasn't stabbing him. When Shizuo finally broke away from him, Izaya gasped for breath and glared at the blonde. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"
Shizuo only answered by twisting the knife, making Izaya sputter in pain before the blonde silenced him with rough, demanding kisses again.
Izaya could feel that he was getting dizzy now, probably from the blood loss. His head spun and he tried so hard to fight against Shizuo's tongue that forced its way into the raven's mouth. But somehow the strength seemed to be depleting from his body.
I don't understand, Izaya thought as his consciousness began to fade. Who are you?
He wasn't sure if this person was the same Heiwajima Shizuo he had always known.
Because Shizuo hated him, didn't he? The stabbing made sense.
The kisses didn't.
Just what is this? Izaya thought before he blacked out completely.
Izaya cursed as he looked around the room again. Was this Shizuo's bathroom? Was he holding him captive now? What the hell had happened?
"HEY!" Izaya yelled as he banged his foot against the bathtub, making a loud noise. "What the hell is the meaning of this?"
There was a moment of silence before the door squeaked opened, revealing the blonde with his arms crossed across his chest. There was that same frightening look in his eyes again that made Izaya shiver. But the raven tried to keep whatever shred of dignity he had left and glared at the blonde, "I didn't think you had an S&M fetish, Shizu-chan. I, on one hand, am not interested in this. So would you unchain me?"
But Shizuo didn't answer him; the blonde just stared. It made Izaya uncomfortable. Suddenly, after a long pause, Shizuo moved. Izaya was a bit relieved before he saw the glint of his flickblade in Shizuo's hand. Izaya's body tensed and his eyes instinctively widened in fright. "What are you going to do with that?"
"I don't understand," Shizuo mumbled as he inched closer to Izaya, a dark look on his face. "Why it's you of all people."
Izaya flinched slightly as Shizuo leaned down and touched the tip of the flickblade to Izaya's shirt. The blonde looked up at Izaya's eyes. "Why do I have to feel this way towards you?"
Izaya winced as Shizuo pulled on his shirt and ripped through it with the knife. He held the torn shirt in his hand before his movements became fast.
"Wha—?" Izaya shrieked before Shizuo placed the shirt over his mouth and gagged him. Izaya's entire body suddenly felt ice cold as Shizuo pushed him towards the ground, his other hand practically ripping off Izaya's jeans. Izaya didn't know when he started to whimper as he stared at Shizuo with large, frightened eyes.
"I hate this," Shizuo told him with a cold voice as he tugged Izaya's boxers down and threw them aside, leaving the pale raven bare of anything. "I hate that you make me feel like this."
Stop! Izaya wanted to scream, but his protests only came out muffled as he heard Shizuo unbuckle and unzip his pants. His body was pinned to the ground as he didn't dare move as he felt Shizuo's hot breath on him.
There was no warning. Just excruciating pain.
Izaya tried to blink away the tears as he groaned, hearing Shizuo grunt behind him. Their bodies moved fast, yet Izaya felt so cold. Each thrust felt like Shizuo was stabbing him in the shoulder again, twisting the knife and digging it in as deep as he could. Izaya's screams were muffled but bounced off the bathroom walls, joining the lewd sounds of their actions.
It hurts, was all Izaya could think as he scratched at the tiles in the ground, trying to grip anything. Trying to project the pain he felt onto something else.
He would have never thought Shizuo would ever do this.
"Izaya," Shizuo spoke softly in the raven's ear. "I love you so much. It scares me how much I love you."
Liar, Izaya wanted to tell him, but Izaya had collapsed on the bathroom ground, tired, spent, and broken. Why would you do this to someone you love?
"You seriously haven't seen him at all?" the doctor's worried voice chimed on the phone. "He's been missing for nearly two months now, Shizuo! Are you sure you didn't kill him?"
"I told you, I haven't seen him," Shizuo grumbled as he rolled his eyes. Really, why couldn't Shinra just mind his own business? So what is Izaya was missing? Why should anyone else care about it?
"If you say so, Shizuo…but I'm worried. It's not like him to just disappear like this."
"Yeah, whatever, Shinra. Look, I've got something to take care. I'll talk to you later, alright?"
"Alright."
Shizuo frowned as he shut his cell phone. "Why does everyone have to ask me about you."
Shizuo turned around to the raven that sat peacefully on his couch, his crimson eyes clouded and dull and his expression blank as he stared at a TV. The blonde smiled softly as he sat next to the raven, petting his hair softly. "Why can't they just leave us alone?"
Shizuo kissed the pale cheek of the raven, "Maybe we should move. Get away from here. Just the two of us. What do you say, Izaya?"
The raven didn't answer. He never did anymore. He had stopped talking weeks ago, and now the only time Shizuo heard his voice was in bed. "Yeah, I think that sounds nice," Shizuo answered for him. "Maybe we should leave Japan altogether."
He cradled the raven to his chest tightly, sighing contently. "And then it'll just be the two of us. And you will be all mine. Don't you like the sound of that, Izaya?"
Because you're all mine.
After all, you're my obsession.
Wow. O_O Can't believe I just wrote that.
Well, I certainly hope I didn't scare anyone off! And sorry this is how it ends. Originally, Izaya was supposed to die…but I thought that it would be more "dark" if Shizuo kept Izaya as like his puppet. This story has a way darker tone than I usually write so sorry it's not that good or sounds weird.
Also, sorry if you guys find any grammar mistakes. I did a really quick proofread before I posted this as this was just something I had to get out of my head and not to mention I'm procrastinating on a research paper I have due tomorrow. XD
But I hope that it was at least a good read. And thanks a bunch if you read and review!
And for those you who happen to follow my "A Little Thing Called Love" story, I plan to update this weekend! So sorry for the wait.
-Xaleria