Top or Bottom Series, Part 3:

Betwixt & Between

Author: T'Riva

Pairing: K/Sa, Sa/Am implied

Disclaimer: Paramount owns these guys, I just take them out to play and don't get paid.

This is 3rd in the series "Top or Bottom", however each can be read alone. The first was "Put in His Place", the second "Hunting the Ambassador: A Warming of Relations", and the third "Betwixt and Between."

Constructive criticism ALWAYS welcome!

Reviews are very much appreciated!

Chapter One

Kirk arrived at the embassy without warning. He'd called but Sarek's personal line was picked up by an aide; Sarek had been in meetings each time. Kirk had only arrived back on Earth hours before and heard some tidbit on the news that only vaguely and inconsequentially involved the ambassador. They mentioned off-hand his "no comment" as he stepped into his limo, but the mention of his name had the effect the program intended no matter the vacuum of substance.

Kirk had never just stopped by Earth's Vulcan embassy, in fact had never been there since he'd joined Starfleet so long ago. As a young lieutenant he remembered being very impressed with all of the marble and columns and plethora of skylights to let in what Vulcans likely felt was a pale, cool sun compared to their own, and he'd only been allowed into the entry hall and administrative sections then.

He rolled up to the gate ready for a fight. Several holovidcorders and other machines scanned his aircar and person for any weapons or disallowed devices, but the large, burley Vulcan guards barely leaned toward his window when one of the guards touched his earpiece and waved him through and the tall wrought iron gate swung open. The closest guard said, "Park in any of the spaces to your left, near the limousines," in thickly-accented English

Kirk headed down the embankment toward the left side of the embassy, intrigued that someone inside must have recognized him, perhaps with facial recognition or retinal scans, and so he was likely on some list. He pulled toward a second gate with no guards and frowned. But as he slowed, the gate slipped open and he noticed the wink of a force field evaporate to allow him in.

He pulled into a long parking lot trimmed with lush gardens, a line of five stretch limos to his left, and spaces for five more, then a line of luxury air and ground cars in black and champagne – embassy cars for the more discreet encounters, he assumed. As he stepped from the car, he peered down toward the back of the embassy. The grounds spread quite a distance, beautifully lush, with a pond and what appeared to be stables. He had heard about a pathway leading to the beach and rustic cabins, all on the secured grounds. He could hear the ocean in the distance and felt the cool tingle of fog starting to creep in diaphanously among the clipped, cutting breezes.

He skipped the more private side entrances, and stood at the pedestrian gate exit from the secured parking area. Paused for the security sweep that made sure no one awaited him on the other side, then stepped through as it slid away and a smaller portion of the force field winked away momentarily again. He walked toward the main entrance that he was familiar with. The expansive rise of long half-steps brought back memories. He remembered being impressed by the sweeping steps of white marble that glimmered with red and gold veins, the rush of those arriving and leaving, and the vision of the tall, brusque guards whose faces were barely apparent under their helmets with the large phaser rifles stoically sequestered along their backs.

He stood confused a moment among the hum of the interior with beings milling all about still after 6 p.m., trying to remember the best desk to announce himself at. Heading toward him he recognized Sarek's chief aide from their meeting on the journey to Babel, now the Chief of Staff, Soran, with the less angular face of full maturity and touch of gray, coming to his rescue. He looked vaguely curious, almost amused, at Kirk's unplanned appearance, and graciously stepped up and bowed slightly, "Admiral Kirk, I had not heard you were on Terra."

Kirk smiled. He had heard Soran could find out anything about anybody, and it had almost sounded as if he was keeping track of his comings and goings for Sarek. With Sarek's consummate power and the renowned possessiveness of a Vulcan male, it wouldn't surprise him, and it rather felt like a compliment. "But you knew for a fact that I was away when no one was supposed to be aware of that detail."

Soran's eyes glinted with humor, but he didn't respond. "This way please," Soran said, as he turned toward what looked like a series of wall tapestries of significant events on ancient Vulcan. Kirk couldn't help but notice many of the ancient weapons he'd seen in Spock's cabin depicted in the scenes, and what seemed far too much gore for the lobby of an embassy. But they were a symbol of what Vulcans daily had to remember and control and of what an embassy tried to prevent, so perhaps it was appropriate.

They stepped into a plush, semi-darkened corridor with a series of elevators. Deep red carpet cushioned their steps and glistening wood trim and encased antiques adorned the length. They stepped to the end of the corridor where Soran stopped momentarily and held his hand over what looked to be a potted plant, and said quietly, "Rudolph is lost in the fog."

Kirk smiled at that and what he had thought was another elevator opened to a small anteroom instead. Another elevator and plush couches appeared as the previous door slipped closed behind them, but Soran stepped in front of another tapestry instead, set back into an alcove. The scene depicted a valley filled with the dead, with one man kneeled on a hill above looking bereft. It was a famous scene of Surak coming to terms with his fate, and where the quote of, "The needs of the many…" began.

Soran put his hand over the setting sun and the tapestry disappeared. To Kirk's surprise, it was a hologram, but quite deceptively real. They stepped into a final elevator with no buttons.

Kirk smiled as he realized they were being scanned before the elevator would rise. "Very cloak and dagger."

Soran looked at him. "An unfortunate necessity after a few 'incidents' of unwanted visitors."

Kirk was curious at how serious these incidents were with Vulcan understatement.

The elevator stopped at what had to be near the top of the building and opened to another lobby with double doors of what looked like lacquered cherry and more couches. Kirk figured that this was the entrance to Sarek's embassy residence. Soran bowed slightly. "I will leave you now. T'Pryn will announce you and lead you to the ambassador. I have not had the chance to let him know you arrived. He was otherwise engaged."

Kirk felt concern wash through him on three counts. "Who the hell was T'Pryn? Sarek rarely kept personal staff in such close quarters. He had also been otherwise engaged so that he could not receive notice of Kirk's arrival; Sarek would not have had a chance to turn him away or even be prepared for Kirk dropping in on his life. God knows what could have changed in the many months he'd been away. And the last time Sarek had been 'otherwise engaged' so that he couldn't even receive notice of a visitor he'd been in bed with Kirk. The image of Sarek naked on his stomach, his legs spreading as he looked back with hooded eyes caught his breath.

Before he could decide on how best to handle what could be an embarrassing situation, the doors opened and a breathtaking beauty stood before him. Another of the Vulcan females that looked like she belonged on the front of a magazine cover, or perhaps on a mannequin, with the lack of expression.

Jealousy was his first feeling as he imagined her under Sarek as he thrust into her. He felt usurped from Sarek's embrace, but also jealous because he also wanted this beautiful woman as he noticed her gorgeous breasts and pouty lips under eyes so dark they could almost hold a trace of violet. And she was not too young for either of them, he noted, as he saw the slightest trace of silver among the glossy black. Would Sarek rebond with no notice or warning? He felt a knot tighten in his stomach.

"James Kirk," she greeted him with the Ta'al and 'Peace and Long Life.' "I shall bring you to him," was all she said, no titles or small talk that might give him some clue as to where he stood in this amalgam. She brought him down another long, elegant hall with skylights above and portraits running the length. He noticed Sarek's father Skon with his warm brown eyes and an almost smile he seemed perpetually to wear just like Sarek, and Solkar, Sarek's grandfather, looking very regal and distinguished with his darker, less fathomable eyes but with still a hint of mischief in them.

She knocked at another set of double doors to their left and Kirk could hear a soft 'come' from inside. She opened the door and waved Kirk in.

"Thank you," Kirk said to her as he stepped inside. It appeared to be a large office, lined floor to ceiling in cherry bookshelves filled with real books opposite floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the beautiful expanse at the back of the embassy. A large cherry desk sat in the center, with someone leaned back over, trying to pick something up off the floor behind him. The hair looked less gray than Sarek's and the build slightly thinner, more like Spock's. Kirk paused as the figure retrieved some device on the floor behind him and then turned back toward him. Vulcan, but not Sarek. But as handsome, with the same dark glittering eyes. He also resembled Spock in the narrower face.

The Vulcan looked confused for a moment as he stared at Kirk, then his eyes lit, "James Kirk." He seemed pleased, and showed more emotion than Kirk would've expected, catching him off guard. The Vulcan stood and stepped toward him with hand outstretched, "It is a pleasure, finally, to meet you." Kirk caught the hand and shook it, surprised by the physicality of a handshake and this Vulcan's easy familiarity. Kirk continued to stare.

"My nephew has talked of you often."

Kirk must have looked puzzled at this. He looked far too young to be Sarek's uncle.

The Vulcan looked amused. "You have no idea who I am, do you?"

Kirk shook his head at that. "My nephew seems to have inherited his father's reticence with information."

It dawned on Kirk suddenly, and he smiled at this relaxed version of Sarek, "You're Spock's uncle, Sarek's brother?"

"Silek," he said. "Sarek should be out shortly. Would like a drink while you wait? There is a well-stocked bar."

"No, thank you."

Silek stepped back toward the device he took from the floor, placed it on the desk and fiddled with it a moment until a hologram of a young Amanda glowed above it. "Ah, my sweet, I had thought I'd lost you." His fingers almost reached to trace her cheek when he looked saddened suddenly.

Kirk straightened, a little discomforted.

Silek looked toward Kirk and a slight blush crept up his cheeks. "I was trying to move this somewhere Sarek wouldn't stare at it half the day, but this seems the only location it keeps its full color-at least in this room. He continued to stare at the holo, obvious sadness on his face. "I could not wash out the blue of those eyes."

He waved toward the chairs facing the desk and the view. "Have a seat, if you would like."

Kirk sat, but began to feel uncomfortable staring at Silek in what seemed such a private moment. He cleared his throat as he stared at the many holos and artifacts collected from various missions. It was obviously not Sarek's much photographed main embassy office, but a more personal one. His curiosity and anxiety about the mysterious woman wouldn't let up. "T'Pryn is…" He realized that he might be asking what was not his business, but the thought of her would not release him, "…a relative, also?"

Silek looked blank for a moment, then, "No, she looks after Sarek, since Amanda…"

"How so?" He tried to look less interested than he was, but realized he'd cut Silek off.

Silek's eyebrows rose and he stared at Kirk and seemed to understand as his eyes softened.

Kirk turned to view the beautiful view.

"Scheduling his more personal activities and trying to get him to eat and sleep more than he seems willing."

Kirk felt Silek's eyes on him, then noticed him stare over at a closed door then he lowered his voice somewhat, "Nothing too…personal," he added.

Kirk swallowed and caught Silek's eye.

Silek's expression warmed as he stared at the Admiral.

"I would never presuppose to expect such intimate information," Kirk said softly so it wouln't sound like a rebuke. "But, thank you for your trust."

Silek stepped close to Kirk. "My brother will be out at any moment. Can I show you something that I think you should see?"

Kirk realized that Silek understood his and Sarek's relationship and blushed. He was surprised and thankful for the ready acceptance, however.

Silek brought Kirk through what appeared to be the master bedroom with a large, king-sized bed in the same beautiful, warm woods and into what appeared to be a huge closet, the size of his own living room, with rows and rows of Sarek's dark and glittering suits and robes to the left and Amanda's beautiful and colorful sweeping dresses, wraps and robes to the right, in every color imaginable.

Silek's hand trailed through the rich, colorful fabrics of Amanda's clothes, then said softly, "It has been well over a year now and he has left these as they are." He turned to Kirk, "This is not normal, for a Vulcan, at least. There has been 'talk.' But I worry less about the ramifications if the family should hear of this odd behavior, than what it might signify."

Kirk stared at the rainbow rows of feminine attire with matching shoes beneath, concerned also but unsure of what he could do.

Silek led him further into the closet and spoke softly. "Whenever my brother became distant and withdrawn Amanda brought him back out into the world. She was willful and stubborn, even more than he. He has shut himself off for a long time now. I had not thought anyone had been let in."

Silek stared at Kirk again. "I would hope that you might…not give up on him. He will push you away. He will be a…bastard…when he wants no more of anyone, of anything-until you leave him. I do not want to lose my brother." The pain in Silek's eyes made clear his fear.

Kirk realized with a start that he was referring to suicide, or at least Sarek allowing himself to die somehow and the man had the ingenuity and cleverness to find a way. Hell, being Vulcan, he could simply choose not to find a new bondmate and die in pon farr.

Suddenly Silek turned his head. "The shower has shut off. Let us retreat." He headed out of the closet and back through the bedroom with Kirk following. Just as they stepped back into the private office Sarek called out to Silek, "Why, brother, do you remove the towels when I take a shower?"

Kirk smiled at Silek's cagey look and Sarek's obvious irritation. Silek stepped over to a large pile and handed one to Kirk. "I think it best I should leave you two alone now. Tell Sarek I will call him tomorrow."

Kirk stepped into the bathroom. He caught Sarek's eye as he stood dripping in the shower, and forced himself not to scan his body as he handed him the towel, curious why a Vulcan would choose a water shower instead of sonics.

Sarek looked surprised momentarily. "I had thought I was talking to my brother." He looked confused and uncomfortable, perhaps a little embarrassed before all of that evaporated to stone.

"He just left. Said he'd call you tomorrow."

Sarek looked nonplused. "We were to go out to dinner," he said half to himself, looking a little unsettled by the turn of events.

"I think I've been substituted in," Kirk stepped out of the bathroom before Sarek could argue. He had been a little disconcerted himself; Sarek had lost quite a few pounds. His appearance was unsettling after hearing of Silek's fears.

Sarek stepped out soon after in an off-white robe, hair towel-dried and a little ruffled into obvious waves, looking much like he did after they'd made love months back. It was all Kirk could do not to reach out to him. But he still looked a little off-balance and distant. "I didn't realize you were back," he said distractedly. He stepped into the closet while Kirk waited outside.

"I didn't think it would be too much to ask to have dinner," Kirk felt a little defensive after Sarek's brusque chilliness. He had been warmer when they'd first met on the journey to Babel. It was like they'd taken several large steps backward. "Is it my appearance on your 'turf' that has rattled you." He always felt a little bothered that Sarek had never asked him to visit here.

"I am not 'rattled', as you so colorfully put it." Sarek said from inside the closet. "It is not the best time-that is all."

"But it was an okay time for dinner with your brother," Kirk challenged, sounding hurt. He hoped guilt worked as well with the father as the son.

"It is not personal, Admiral," Sarek said.

"Really, Ambassador?" Kirk said feeling the sting of the rejection by the title and cool tone. He had the strange feeling he would never see Sarek personally again if he let him escape this time.

Sarek stepped toward Kirk and stood with his arms behind him formally. He wore a flattering rust-red suit that made his eyes appear green and softened his features. "I had wished to discuss family matters with my brother."

"Really?" Kirk stared suspiciously at Sarek. His manner and tone reminded him strongly of when he had told Kirk on the Enterprise that one did not talk of meditation, especially to Earthmen, just before he collapsed. Sarek was hiding something then, and maybe now. Perhaps he could wrest this secret from the Vulcan if he could play for some time.

"Have I ever lied to you, Admiral," Sarek asked, sharply, his eyes bearing down on him in challenge.

You have left things unsaid, Kirk thought. "Let's just say my intuition leaves me unsettled."

Sarek only stared at Kirk.

"Just dinner, then I'll leave you alone until you call me." Kirk gave his most sincere look. "We can talk, or not talk, about anything you decide." In a pig's eye. He would find out what was really going on. "You had once said that you would do anything for me," he added softly.

He noticed that hit a nerve, perhaps brought back a bittersweet memory between them that now cut him as he tried to pull away.

Sarek turned from him. "I did say that," he said softly, and seemed pained by the admission.

"Please Sarek, I need to talk." Kirk watched him.

Sarek turned back toward him, a hint of concern flickered in his eyes. "Admiral, are you in distress?"

Kirk turned from him now, not wanting Sarek to gather the truth from his guilty expression. "Just a few hours."

Sarek watched him a little warily, but finally succumbed. "I will summon a driver."

"No," Kirk said. "I'll drive." He would need all of the control he could get. He held Sarek's eyes until he nodded in agreement.

End of Chapter One (Chapter Two coming soon!)