"Give me a siiii-iiiiign! Hit me baby one more time!"

Pam burst into a fit of laughter, which frightened Sookie as she was in the passenger seat and Pam was behind the wheel. Of Eric's car.

"I'm so glad I have someone to not be good at singing with," she said, recovering from the terror.

Pam flashed her fangs in appreciation. "It's wonderful. Here I had thought a Karaoke night at Fangtasia would embarrass just me. Now that I know it will embarrass you as well, I think it's a great idea."

The trees no less than six feet from the speeding car were passing so quickly that Sookie began to feel nauseous from watching them. The churning in her stomach may have been caused more from the realization that they were speeding alarmingly along a bumbfuck country road than actual car sickness.

They were headed to a bar in the middle of no man's land, but Sookie didn't know exactly why. She was told it was just a girls' night out- just Sookie and Pam. Being girls. "Doing girl stuff," Pam had said.

Sookie hoped it wouldn't turn the direction of their last vacation- a fun, girlie time with little "vampire business" at a strip club at the Mississippi delta. They'd nearly been killed and/or jailed. Pam had been drugged.

"So, this doesn't involve Bandeau tops, does it?"

Pam's lips curled into a smile. "Not unless you want it to, sweetheart." She turned the volume dial to the left as the Dixie Chicks version of "Landslide" swelled from the speakers. "Did you not enjoy our little adventure?"

Sookie had to admit, she hadn't been too put-off by the whole experience. The "getting trapped and nearly killed by a creepy vampire and elf" part kind of sucked, but the "pretending to be strippers and getting groped by Pam" part wasn't too bad. She could have lived without a little of the groping. And maybe the tongue in her ear.

"I suppose it wasn't awful. Being a stripper was… fun."

"You see. I tell you all the time that taking a step out of your comfort zone is good for you. Dear Abby says it is good for personal development."

She made a sudden turn onto another road with bends and curves that she plowed through as if it were a straight shot on an empty four-lane highway. Sookie grasped at the console and door handle frantically.

"Still not used to the way you drive," she mumbled.

Pam floored the gas pedal. "The way I drive is attractive," she said firmly. No room for argument. But no one could argue that. Pam could handle a car (a really expensive, really fast car) like a professional. She'd been driving since Model T, after all.

"But really," Sookie paused to swallow the fright building in her throat. "What are we doing out here?"

Pam reached over to pat the breather's leg. "I told you. Girl stuff. Girlie stuff that's feminine and what girls do when they go out."

So, reader, do we believe Pam and continue on? Or does she have something up her sleeve?

If you believe Pam, continue with this chapter. If there's more going on here, mumble "Jesus, Shepherd of Judea," and go to chapter 2.

Sookie stared at her in disbelief. "What is it about that statement that makes me uncomfortable?"

Pam thought for a few seconds, rolling her answer around in her head a few times to collect the best one. "That thing about me being a vampire and therefore not a participant in what I have regarded as normal female behavior at the bar."

The barmaid groaned and slid down a few inches against the seat, trying to hide from what was sure to come, and the trees whizzing by the windows.

Still think this night will be tame? Skip to chapter 3. But this time, exclaim, "Fuck a zombie!" in exasperation.